


Prime Time

by PwoperNinjaElf



Category: Muse
Genre: AU, Angst, Belldom - Freeform, Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 166,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PwoperNinjaElf/pseuds/PwoperNinjaElf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dominic Howard is one of Sky News' star anchors and he's got his eye on a particular reporter who's finally returning to London, the only problem is that Matthew has no desire to be back and is determined to make everyone suffer with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my favourite fic so far! I have tons of WIP's but this just...idk :3 Hope you like it even half as much ;3

  
"...that's all from me, Matthew Bellamy, reporting from the Gaza Strip."  
  
_God, that voice... those eyes... his hair; it looks so sexy all wind blown and messed up like that... Wow... and he really suits a bullet proof jacket, who would've thought it? I could just stare at him for hours..._  
  
"Um...well, thank you, Matthew, again for the report," Jessica said, pulling me out of my – no doubt embarrassing – zone out. "In other news..."  
  
                                                                      ***  
  
"Dom, what were you doing? You made us both look like morons!" Jess said with a deep sigh and took a sip of her cosmopolitan.  
  
"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Jess. You know I didn't mean to... I'm such an idiot," I said staring into my pint.  
  
"Oh, Dom... You know if you keep it up like this everyone else is gonna know too, sooner or later..." She put her hand on my arm, trying to comfort me.  
  
"I know... damn, is it really that obvious?"  
  
"Well... kinda... but maybe that's just because I know about... you know..."  
  
"Well you managed to figure it all out on your own in the first place!" I said and then took a long frustrated drink of my beer. She had after all. She was the only one who knew the truth. Well apart from my family and a couple friends...  
  
"Hey, relax... You think your trousers don't give you away?" she asked with a laugh.  
  
"Oi, I'm still in my work suit! I look perfectly respectable!" I protested, but couldn't help but laugh too.  
  
"Dommy, I know about your 'casual' clothes. Damn, some of those jeans I wouldn't even fit into! Plus bright yellow is not exactly a good look on me!"  
  
I couldn't help but let out a beer-spluttering laugh at that.  
  
"Hey, but that one night you seemed to forget! Personally I think that's when it clicked..."  
  
"Oh, true... I thought we promised never to speak of this again!" she laughed, going pink. "I must admit, in the beginning... I thought you were just more in touch with yourself... but when you turned me down and your first excuse wasn't about how it would complicate work? I just knew!"  
  
"Hey, how did you not think I just didn't want to take advantage of you in your drunk state?"  
  
"Please, Dom, it was the end of year Christmas party... Everyone gets drunk and hooks up! Plus, no one would turn this," she indicated her beautifully curved figure, "down. At least if they weren't gay."  
  
"Ha! So vain, so vain!"  
  
"But with reason!" she retorted and with one last sip finished her drink, encouraging me to do the same. "So, how long has dear old Matty caught your eye for?"  
  
Another, more embarrassing explosion of beer.  
  
"W-what?!"  
  
"Oh come on, Dom, you think I couldn't tell? You're so lucky the camera and everyone's focus wasn't on us; you were practically drooling next to me!"  
  
"Oh, God," I groaned and used my sleeve to wipe the beer from my chin.  
  
"Hey, relax, Dom. It's not like I can blame you; the guy's admittedly one hot piece of arse!"  
  
"Jess!!" She just laughed and shrugged unapologetically. "Well it's not like anything will ever come of it anyway..."  
  
"Why's that?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.  
  
"Well... for one he's always running around some God-forsaken country far away... secondly I don't even know if he swings that way..."  
  
"True... true... but I hear the higher-ups want him to come work closer to home for a while. I don't think his dad likes him constantly risking his safety in war-torn places..." Oh yes, I'd nearly forgotten about that; Matthew's father is one of the owning partners of Sky News...  
  
But wait. What had she just said?!  
  
"Sorry what?!" I asked, instantly sitting up straighter. "Matthew's going to be working in London?"  
  
"Well, yes. If his father gets his wish, but knowing that stubborn bastard he'll try anything to avoid desk work..."  
  
But I'd already zoned out (a worrying habit, which only seems to be getting worse...). Matthew. Matthew Bellamy? Matthew Bellamy back in London?  
  
"DOM!! Oi! You still here even?!" Jessica asked waving her hands in front of my face.  
  
"Whoa, relax, Jess. I'm here. I'm here alright, and I'm definitely not about to go anywhere else..."  
  
  
                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"...so anyway I trust you will have a good night's rest - finally back in your own bed - and I shall see you at work tomorrow."  
  
"Sure, whatever. See you then, I guess," I replied to my father over the phone, as I unlocked my apartment's door.  
  
"Oh lighten up, Matthew! You're finally back home, safe and sound! A couple months taking it easy will do you the world of good!"  
  
"But, Dad, I don't want to be 'taking it easy', I was really starting to--"  
  
"Matthew, that's enough. Now get some rest and I expect you to arrive at work with a far more positive attitude in the morning, Son."  
  
In frustration I just hung up. Why did he always have to be such an arse?! I was finally really beginning to settle in, travelling and actually doing real work. Putting myself out there. Hopefully making some sort of difference.  
  
But no. No, he wouldn't let me continue. He said he was tired of sleepless nights, worrying about my safety. I told him he had no need to. That I was safe. That I was finally happy.  
  
But he refused to listen.  
  
I feel so ridiculous; I'm a grown man, an adult! Yet my 'daddy' is making me come home. Making me play lap dog to boring corporates and making me do exactly what I have no interest in doing. I don't want to sit behind some stupid desk writing in warm safety, writing about events that hold no interest to me or are far away from me; I want to be out there, experiencing the story first hand for myself.  
  
I finally opened the front door and stepped into my 'good ol' home, sweet home'.  
  
I hadn't been back in ages and looking around at the place felt strange. It certainly didn't feel like home.  
  
With a big sigh, I dumped my bags on the floor and went to the kitchen in the hopes of pouring myself a glass of wine; I'm sure I left a few bottles in the bottom cabinet...  
  
When I bent down to open it though, I felt a hard slap to my arse.  
  
"WHAT?!" I yelled, practically jumping out of my skin and spinning round to defend myself from my attacker.  
  
"Matty, babe, it's me!"  
  
"Lisa?" She threw her arms around me and pulled me close, flush to her body and immediately began assaulting my mouth with her own.  
  
"Mmmfff... L-L-i-i- _ssssaaah_ ," I tried to say something and free myself, but the crazy blonde just laughed into my mouth and squeezed me tighter.  
  
I shoved harder.  
  
"What the fuck, Matthew?!" she yelled once I'd finally managed to free myself from her grasp.  
  
"No, what the fuck to you, Lisa? What are you doing?!"  
  
"Um, what does it look like?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "Matt, I came to give you a welcome home present."  
  
"What?" But she had already started unbuttoning her blouse.  
  
"Whoa, Lisa! Keep your clothes on for God's sake!" I rushed to pull her hands to her sides.  
  
"Oh, you wanna do the honours?" she asked, trying to pull what I assume she thought was a sexy face.  
  
"No. Jesus, woman, I just got back from fucking Israel, after months away! The last thing I want to do now is screw an old ex I left behind!"  
  
After all there were many reasons why I liked it away from home and on the road...  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Honestly, do I need to spell it out for you? Why do you think I never replied to any of your emails and calls? I'm not fucking interested! In fact I don't really think I ever was!"  
  
I can see tears begin to fill her chocolate coloured eyes, just threatening to fall.  
  
"But, but, Matt. What about, what about when we were together? When we used to go out and, especially when we'd make love. Don't you remember that? It was always so beautiful and-"  
  
"'Make love'? _'Make love'?!_ Seriously?! Did you honestly just say that?! God!" I sighed and held the bridge of my nose.  
  
"Yes, Matt. I did!" I could tell she was trying really hard not to break now, but I was really just not in a good mood. Sorry for her that she should be the one to receive all my frustrations, but there were just so many things pissing me off and she just happened to be the only one around...  
  
"It meant nothing, Lisa! God, you were just someone easy and nearby for me to fuck. I thought you knew better, there was bugger all love involved!"  
  
"B-But, but, Matt," the first tear to escape made its way down her make-up smeared cheek.  
  
"Jesus, Lisa! You were just an easy fuck. Now, if you'll kindly excuse me, I just want to have a glass of wine on my own and crawl into bed!"  
  
She sniffed and wiped the tear away with her French tipped fingers and shot me her best death glare.  
  
"YOU ARE SUCH AN ARSEHOLE!! FUCK YOU, MATTHEW!!" And with that she grabbed her purse from the couch, threw the set of keys for my flat, that I'd forgotten I'd given to her, at me and stormed out.  
  
I just rolled my eyes at her dramatic exit and picked up the keys, and went over to lock the door behind her.  
  
_Now where was I? Oh yes, wine..._


	2. Chapter 2

"Ah, Howard, nice to see you arriving early as always," Mr Bellamy smiled as I passed him.  
  
"Of course, Sir, have to be sure I know what's going on around me." Ok yes, so I'm a bit of a suck-up, but hey; it never hurts to get in favour with those around you. After all, how else would I have managed to get one of the best gigs around here? Being one of the youngest star anchors is no small feat I can assure you.  
  
"Keep it up, dear boy." I smiled and started to walk away when he spoke again, "Oh, one more thing, Howard."  
  
"Yes, Sir?"  
  
"My son, Matthew, is back in town and will be working around the office again; do keep an eye on him for me please." My jaw dropped. So it was true then. Matthew really was back. And Mr Bellamy wanted me to look out for him?! Jeez, things really are starting to look up!  
  
"Of course, Sir, um, when exactly is he starting?" I couldn't help asking. Shit, maybe Jess is right, maybe I really am that obvious...  
  
"Oh, today of course. In fact... he's actually late." His kind expression faded to make way for one of annoyance. "See, Howard, this is why I need you to look out for him. He's not used to this sort of work anymore... I believe all the travels have started to change him, which is exactly why I made him come home."  
  
"Um, ok." Well what else do you say to that?  
  
"There's a good lad. Well I have a board meeting now, so when he does finally decide to show up, tell him I wish to see him."  
  
And with that I was left alone to consider the developments. I didn't exactly know Matthew. I'd only ever said a few words to him in the past, not counting his reports when I was anchoring. He's always seemed pretty serious at first, but then I'd also seen him around at some of the parties too. The guy knew how to let go when he wanted to. I don't exactly know when my little, uh, crush on him began, but it was after he'd left for his last long trip. I haven't seen him around the office for months though since.  
  
I decided to go find some of my work friends to chat with, while I waited for young Master Bellamy to arrive.  
  
                                                                                  ***  
  
"...so basically she told me to piss off... I wonder what's gotten into her, she seemed perfectly decent yesterday," Tom said shaking his head.  
  
"Oh well, it's her loss, mate," Chris said. "Anyway, I've always thought Lisa was far too high and mighty for a make-up girl..."  
  
"Total bitch, I've been trying to tell you this for months, Tom," I said agreeing with Chris.  
  
"Yeah, I know, just... I really thought I was finally getting her defences down." Poor Tom, he'd been chasing Lisa for a couple weeks now, and it had finally started to look like he was getting somewhere with her. But then this morning when he'd finally gotten the guts to ask her out she'd blown him off big time. The poor sod never seemed to have any luck with birds. "She said she 'didn't date cameramen' and that I was 'reaching way too high', God I still feel insulted now."  
  
"Uptight bitch," Chris said, taking a puff of his pipe. I couldn't have said it better.  
  
"Well, at least you gave it a shot, Tommy-Boy," I said and gave him a clap on the back as he stubbed out his cigarette.  
  
"Oh look who's here," Chris said pointing to inside, to the cubicle filled office. We were currently taking our smoke break, 'illegally' in his roomy private office. Oh the perks of being a director.  
  
"Oh, Bellamy's son, huh, haven't seen him around in forever," Tom said with a shrug. Sigh, if only I could be as half-interested.  
  
"Oh shit, I need to give him a message," I said quickly stubbing out my own cigarette, just as Tom lit his next.  
  
"About what?" they both asked in confusion.  
  
"Don't worry your pretty little heads dearies," I said pulling my tie in place and straightening it.  
  
"God, Dom, I forget how gay you are," Chris said, laughing at my expense.  
  
"True, he does like to lure us into a false sense of security... probably just waiting to pounce on one of us when our guard's down!" Tom joked, joining in.  
  
The two of them were the only one's apart from Jess that knew in the office. They also knew how much I hate stereotyping.  
  
"Well cheers to you both," I said jutting my hip out and blowing them each a kiss, before brushing myself off once more and heading out to do my job. At least that's what I had to remind myself I was doing...  
  
As I made my way over I couldn't stop my eyes and mind from wondering. He had his back to me and was leaning over a desk to put away some papers, and my God but how could I be blamed? He had the cutest little arse ever, and his black trousers just hugged him perfectly. Fuck, this was so much better than watching live video feed; the only problem came in trusting myself not to touch...  
  
"Ahem, Matthew?" I asked, thankful that, although I was screaming on the inside, I sounded completely normal and calm.  
  
"Yeah," he asked, quickly straightening up and turning to look at me. "What do you want?"  
  
 _To run my hands through that glorious black hair of yours. To get a feel of that sexy little arse. To see what's under your shirt. To see what your beautiful eyes look like when..._  
  
"Um, uh, your father  - I mean, um, Mr Bellamy - said I should tell you he wants you to go and see him..."  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake," he cursed and, without another word turned and headed off. Well so much for that...  
  
  
                                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Why don't you come out with us, Matt? Maybe get to know some of the people around here better." I looked at Morgan with a doubtful expression. I'd known the guy my whole life, since we'd run around these offices as kids, he's always been a good friend, even when I hadn't.  
  
"I know you, and quite frankly I think I've learnt to keep to myself when it comes to the office..."  
  
"Way too many birds throwing themselves at you?" he asked with a knowing smile.  
  
"Exactly. Way too many exes too... Gotta avoid awkwardness..."  
  
"No, Matt, you've gotta get out, mate. You've been back a month now and you never want to do anything!"  
  
"Hey, I'm doing exactly what my old man wants: I'm 'getting some rest and taking it easy'... Now if I was getting wasted every night and hooking up, would I really be doing that?"  
  
"In my world that's exactly what you'd be doing, mate!" he laughed and clapped me on the back, before leading me outside for the last smoke break of the day. "And I know you, Matty, that's exactly how you usually like to do things!"  
  
Now, I don't usually smoke, it's honestly a nasty habit that I'm glad I kicked, but every now and then when the stress builds up... And have I had a lot lately. Maybe more frustration, but still... I feel like I'm honestly gonna explode sometimes. Dad still refuses out right to let me go back out, and this boring desk work and writing here is literally killing me. I'm dying for some action.  
  
"Oi, Nicholls, where do you think you're going?! We still need you in here!" Chris, one of the directors, called and with a deep sigh and roll of his eyes Morgan trudged back.  
  
Back with the cigarettes. He was the one who had them, I certainly didn't have any. Shit. Now what? Having put it off for so long, my body had been expecting to finally get some. I could feel my fingers twitching. Shit. This is just so fucking typical. This is just how things have been going for me lately. Everything - every-fucking-thing - that could go wrong, does.  
  
"Um, hey, Matthew?" I turned to see who'd called me. Unprofessionally messy, blonde hair, big nose and grey eyes: the first thing I took in. Dominic Howard.  
  
Just fucking great.  
  
"Yes, what?" I asked, not giving a shit that I sounded unpleasant even to my own ears.  
  
"Um, uh, if you want a fag, I've got..." he said pulling out a box of them and offering to me.  
  
No. I couldn't. Not from him, damn the next thing I know he wants to be friends or something. I did not come here to make friends.  
  
"It's fine really, help yourself."  
  
Damn, he looked like the fucking devil, his golden blonde hair aside. He was grinning and oozing temptation... maybe just one...  
  
"Oh, fine," I grumbled and took one.  
  
"Here, let me help," he offered and leaned forward with a lighter, to light it while it was in my mouth. A bit forward there... but fuck. I couldn't help but shudder with pleasure. God, I'd missed this.  
  
  
                                                                                   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
I felt transfixed as I watched his slim body quiver with pure satisfaction, his eyes closing as he blew out the first puff of smoke from virtually his fourth cigarette. I'm sure I even heard him let out a little sigh. Fuck, it was too sexy for words. He just seemed to be oozing sex. It was just too easy to picture him in a different situation, with a very different setting...  
  
"God, I've missed this," he said, eyes still closed in bliss.  
  
"So I can see," I said with a little laugh and took a draw on my own cigarette.  
  
"Hey, don't you judge me. It's been months..." His eyes opened a bit to regard me.  
  
"Hey, no judging here," I said holding my hands up, but couldn't resist laughing, my cigarette hanging from my lips.  
  
He just smiled back lazily, and took another drag. Wow, Matthew Bellamy smiled?! That's definitely my first time seeing him flash those teeth. The front of which was crooked in the cutest of ways. Whoa, what's gotten into him?  
  
Ever since he's arrived it's just been glares and unpleasantness. Not that that's stopped me trying to get on his good side... I've been doing my best, yet every time he shoots me down, sometimes not even bothering to use words to tell me to beat it. Who would've thought that all it would take would be a couple cigarettes?  
  
We should probably have headed back inside a while ago, but he seemed far too distracted and I wasn't about to remind him. I could deal with whatever consequences; I'd also had the afternoon shift today, so it wasn't like I was needed in front of the camera.  
  
"So, are you gonna go out?" I couldn't help asking.  
  
"Hmm?" he asked.  
  
"Um, out? Are you gonna go out tonight?" I asked again. Man, the guy was just smoking... surely he'd heard me?  
  
"Um... I'm not sure..." he replied, watching the tendrils of smoke curl out from his mouth. "I don't really see the point. It's not like anyone particularly likes me here, except for Morgan... and to be honest the feeling's rather mutual."  
  
 _Ouch._  
  
"Um... thanks?" I said, and cringed when I could hear the hurt in my voice. God, get a grip here, Dom, sheesh. What did you expect? For him to like you? To even want you in the same way you want him? Please, you don't even know if he swings like that...  
  
"Haha, relax, Howard," he said, giving me that adorable grin and put his hand on my shoulder, those long fingers pressed into the thin material of my shirt. It took practically every ounce of my self control not to shriek with glee like the stupid little school girl I know I am deep down.  
  
"You're okay yourself - sort of - but don't think this makes us friends now," he said with a shrug and dropped his cigarette, before grinding it out with the sole of his shoe. I just stood there gaping, the glee quickly curling in on itself and dying, just as it had lit up inside me. Then he turned and went back inside without another word.


	3. Chapter 3

"God, I forgot how much of an arsehole he was," Tom said shaking his head, as he then took another drink of his beer.  
  
We'd all gone out with a bunch of people from the office to celebrate Jessica's birthday.  
  
"Well, you can't exactly blame the guy for not wanting to kiss Jess..." I said standing up for Matthew. Though why I don't know. He's been nothing but a jerk to everyone, completely spoiling the office atmosphere as best he can; with every chance.  
  
As one of the head's in charge, as our new executive producer, it's like he takes pleasure in, not only shooting down other people's ideas for stories, but also pointing out all the flaws and why they're complete 'morons' for even suggesting it in the first place. Trust me I know, I've had the treatment quite a few times myself.  
  
"Seriously, Dom, you're gonna defend him?" Chris asked with a raise of one of his eyebrows. "All she wanted was a peck on the cheek, sure she's probably had a bit much to drink, but she is the birthday girl."  
  
"Chris is right, mate... what's wrong with you? Got a little crush on the self-important little twat?" Tom asked laughing, but stopped when he saw my expression and gasped instead. "Oh my God, you do!"  
  
"Wait, what?!" Chris asked, sitting up straighter. "No, Dom, you've got to be kidding! Of all the guys!"  
  
I felt my face turn even redder in embarrassment.  
  
"No shit," Tom said, still staring gobsmacked. Then the three of us all subconsciously turned to where Matthew was standing with Morgan - virtually his only friend here - at the bar, while a few girls tried desperately to chat them up. He looked bored as hell if I'm honest, but, still wearing his formfitting black trousers, which clung perfectly to his slim legs (don't even get me started on the wonders it did for his arse...), from work, as well as a very stylish (and no doubt very expensive) looking leather jacket, looked completely irresistible. No wonder they were practically hanging off of him.  
  
"Wow, that's... messed up."  
  
"Oh come on, he's not that bad!" I said, still standing up for him.  
  
"Dom?" Again Chris raised his eyebrow. As if on cue, Matt downed his drink and pushed past one of the girls like she wasn't even there and went to go sit on his own in one of the corner booths, Morgan too busy with the others to even notice. I couldn't help but feel a little tug on my heart.  
  
"Well I guess that shows he's at least not interested in women; that was some fine tail he just turned down. Who knows, Dommy, you may be in with a chance after all," Chris said with a laugh.  
  
"Chris! You're married!" I pointed out, but couldn't help feel a little flutter at his suggestion.  
  
"Hey, you know I love Kelly, but that doesn't mean I'm not a man. I can still see when someone's hot," he said defensively, making Tom laugh.  
  
 _Straight guys_.  
  
"Wait, Dom, where are you going?" Tom asked after I downed my drink and started to make my way over to that corner booth.  
  
"Where do you think?" I called back over my shoulder, a grin firmly in place.  
  
  
                                                              ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
  
I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be around all these people more than I had to. They were all just reminders of what my life was now: boring and restricted. I'd tried my best to get out of coming this evening, but good old Dad had insisted I go; to the point of threatening my chances of ever going out on the field again.  
  
You're probably wondering why I just don't go work for another company and leave Sky and my father's big say in its dealings. Trust me, I've tried it before. No one would hire me, Dad has too big a hold on everyone's interests. And to be honest this was the company I wanted to work for - not for the Americans or any of the others, I'm English and this is the station I'd always wanted to work for - so why should I be forced out?  
  
Sadly he's noticed my lack of popularity amongst most of the common people around the office, and hoped that tonight would help me 'bond' with them. Fat chance there. Even Morgan was being insufferable tonight; hence my more than usual alcohol intake. I wasn't that drunk yet though.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I looked up instantly to see who'd decided to disturb my precious solitude. Dominic Howard. Again. Will he not just give the fuck up already?  
  
"What do you want?" I asked with a sigh, also sounding far less intimidating than I usually did. Maybe I had had a good deal to drink already?  
  
It sadly didn't go unnoticed, as his, annoyingly white, grin grew even wider. Dammit. What did he even want from me?  
  
He's constantly trying to befriend me, greeting me cheerily every morning, even on the days when I don't even bother to respond. He also seems to have noted my inability to say no to an offered cigarette... perhaps that's why he's here; ready to make his claim on all the ones he's given me free of charge the past couple weeks.  
  
I still naturally don't have any of my own. I don't smoke. At least I'm not supposed to...  
  
"I came to ask what drink you wanted; on me of course," he said in his annoyingly cheery voice and gave his silly blonde hair a flick. I mean really, he should have the damn stuff cut already, it's completely unprofessional and I've seen how much gel Make-Up has to use to make him presentable for when he anchors.  
  
Even then he still looks a right git.  
  
"And why would you be doing that?" I asked and he pointed at the empty glass still in my hand.  
  
"Want another? Or could I interest you in a couple shots?" he asked, taking the glass from me and setting it down on the black tabletop.  
  
"Shots? Seriously, that's why you came here to talk to me?" I asked with a sceptically raised eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, why not? Come on, you know you want to!" And with that he grabbed my hand and started to drag me towards the bar!  
  
"Excuse me, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" I tried in an admittedly rather weak protest, but he just grinned and continued to tug me along, only stopping once we'd reached the bar.  
  
"So, Matthew, what will it be?" he asked once more, shooting me his best star anchor smile.  
  
And you know what? I must really have had a lot more to drink than I'd thought, because I actually went along with him and before I knew it, was shooting back sake like there was no tomorrow, the overeager blonde cheering me on...


	4. Chapter 4

"Dommy, I think I've had a wee bit too much to drink..." Matthew said with an impossibly cute drunken drawl. His slight speech impediment far more noticeable in his current state.  
  
"You don't say," I laughed as he leaned into me for support, his swaying body not doing a good enough job on its own. His slight weight felt way better than it should pressed up against me.  
  
In the end I'd only had a couple shots, while the both of us and the bartender had lost track of how many Mr. Bellamy here had had. One thing's for sure, the little guy sure can drink.  
  
"Maybe we should get you home, yeah?" I asked smiling at him as he let his head fall onto my shoulder, his pretty blue eyes closing dreamily.  
  
God, how was it possible for him to be so cute, but so hot at the same time? His gel was wearing off and so his dark hair was starting to flop a bit in his face, the dark strands looking unbelievable as they contrasted with his beautifully pale skin, his pink lips moist and tempting. And from this newly crossed boundary of proximity, the delicious scent of his cologne, and what I highly suspect to be just his natural fragrance, was stronger and more torturously divine than ever.  
  
"Hmmm..." he mumbled, nestling his head in even more. Okay, I know it's wrong to take advantage of someone in his current state, but I honestly couldn't take it anymore; trust me, given the same situation, you would've done the same thing (if not more).  
  
I wrapped my arms around him properly and ever so briefly touched my lips to his forehead, the soft texture of his hair and smell of his shampoo filling my senses. There, that wasn't so bad. I had amazing control, I'd successfully managed to avoid those delicious-looking, thin, pink lips.  
  
He blinked a bit, his brow furrowing a bit and looked up at me with those seemingly endless, crystal-blue eyes.  
  
"I can't remember where I live..."  
  
I stared at him for a second, not properly registering what he'd said. "Sorry?"  
  
"Dom... I can't remember where the fuck I live." It was the first time I'd heard him use the shortened form of my name, sure he'd just called me 'Dommy' earlier, but this seemed to hold more importance. Gone was the sleepy, childish cuteness. In it's place was something new.  
  
"Um... uh..."  
  
"Can I crash at yours... _pleeeease_?"  
  
Wait, did Matthew Bellamy just say 'please' and ask if he could 'crash at mine'? Good God, maybe I'm the seriously drunk one here...  
  
"Uh, sorry?" I asked again to be sure.  
  
"Your house. Lead the way, Blondie," he laughed and actually gave my arse a slap.  
  
_Okay, is this seriously happening?_  
  
                                                                                  ***  
  
_'It can't be,'_ I thought some time later as I led him up the stairs to my apartment. This has got to be some sort of drunken dream. But when I looked back, sure enough, he was walking - well stumbling slightly - behind me still.  
  
"Okay, this is it," I said unlocking the door and let him in; only to be shoved up against the shut door a moment later after I'd closed it behind us.  
  
"Um, Matthew, what are you doing?" I asked, stuck in his surprisingly strong grasp.  
  
"Please, call me Matt," was all he said in reply. That is before he leaned forward and brought our lips crashing together.  
  
Kissing 'Matt' was everything I'd imagined it to be like and more. He clearly liked to lead things and his kisses were fiery and strong. He certainly didn't mess around either, because before I knew it he had his tongue shoved down my throat and his hands on my trousers' button.  
  
"Whoa, whoa- hold on there, Matt," I said, pushing him away and trying to catch my breath. "What are you doing?" I continued.  
  
This was definitely more than a little strange, sure it was exactly what I'd wanted, but from what I'd heard around the office (yes I'd done my research, I'm a good little journalist when I want to be) it wasn't what he was usually into. He'd practically bonked all the girls there with any talent... as in nearly all of them. That's also probably why Jess pulled her little stunt on him tonight, after hearing about my little discoveries our last gossip session.  
  
He liked women. Not men. Of course I tried coaxing him and feeding him drinks, but the most I'd hoped possible was for a snog at best, but this?  
  
Yet here he was trying to get me - a bloke and not some make-up girl or secretary - to take my trousers off.  
  
"Well you hopefully," he said, as though it were obvious and I was a moron. Now this was the Matthew I'd come to know.  
  
"Excuse me? But since when have you been into blokes?" I asked, still on my toes. I know, I'm an idiot, I should just seize this opportunity and let him have his way with me; Lord knows I want that, but I still can't help but feel highly suspicious.  
  
"Since forever, now shut up and let me take those yellow monstrosities off," was his snappy reply, completely unperturbed as he rolled those blue-crystal orbs at me.  
  
"But what about all the women from work I heard you got with in the past? And excuse me, but these are my favourite trousers!"  
  
"Just a bit of fun; I go through phases... So are you gonna let me take them off or not?" If it wasn't for the slight drawl and worsened impediment, I might have thought he was back to his normal arse of a sober self. Oh and the fact that he was so eager to remove my jeans. That, that was pretty out of character, at least the one he let us all see.  
  
"So wait, why are you so determined to get me out of my clothes?" I asked, and he rolled his eyes yet again in frustration.  
  
"Why the fuck do you think? God and I'd thought you were remotely clever, Dom." Wait, what?! Matthew - Matt - wanted to have sex with me?! _And_ he thought I was clever (well remotely, but I'd take it!)?! After weeks of shooting down all my ideas and having to endure countless eye rolls it had come down to this?!  
  
I could feel my heart rate quicken exponentially and the crotch of my already painfully tight pants, tighten even more.  
  
But I wasn't about to play it that easy. Oh no, not after everything. This was gonna go my way.  
  
"Fine. Take your clothes off first," I said surprising us both with the uncharacteristically commanding way my voice sounded.  
  
After a fleeting look of objection, he quickly complied; first kicking his shoes and socks off and then tossing his leather jacket to the side, before unbuttoning his black shirt, revealing the perfect, pale skin underneath. He was definitely slender, but had fine muscling and was rather toned. His dark nipples and the trail of hair, leading from his navel and disappearing into his trousers, were in stark contrast to his milky-white skin. It took everything in me to stop myself lunging forward and running my hands all over that gorgeous skin, and getting a good feel (if not taste) of what I'd been desiring for far too long.  
  
The next to go was his belt, which his long fingers made quick work of, despite his current state. They worked even quicker on the button and zip of his tight black trousers. Someone was definitely in a hurry to get things going...  
  
I couldn't believe this moment had actually arrived. I stood dead still, planting my feet as firmly as possible into the ground, while he shimmied out of those figure-hugging trousers. Just his red boxers were left; before being unceremoniously ripped off and tossed in a heap with the rest of his things.  
  
I was then left free to look upon his whole body, no longer obstructed by clothing or social decency, as he stood up straight, allowing me the perfect view. He clearly had no self-conscious tendencies, whether it was from the aid of alcohol or not, he definitely had every right to feel confident in nothing but his own bare skin...  
  
The sight of his cock, which was definitely on the larger side of the scale, already hard and ready, popping up free of its restraints, went straight to my own. Fuck, he was perfect everywhere. Not an inch of his body seemed to have even the slightest of faults. Sure he was pale and rather on the skinny side, but to be honest I think it suits him just fine.


	5. Chapter 5

Just the sight of him, naked and waiting, was more than enough initiative for me to practically make my own clothes go flying.  
  
But I left my yellow skinnies on, he'd been so eager to do the honours that I figured I may as well let him get to decide one thing.  
  
He quickly got the message and, with what can only be described as...well, _hungrily_ , finished what he'd attempted to start.  
  
And then we were both naked. Both running our eyes over the other's bared skin, and I couldn't help but notice the appreciative stare of his slightly buzzed eyes, he even let out a drunken little hum to match it. Fuck, we stood, just inches from each other, and stared, but not for too long though, as we could only hold off for so long. The kissing was even more urgent and desperate this time. He was definitely not playing around, but when I felt his hands skirt my cock and instead go round back, to slide between my arse cheeks, I pulled off. But he didn't stop, he only started to suck and lick on my neck instead.  
  
"And what are you up to?!" I asked, my voice gruff from all the breathtaking kissing.  
  
"I'm getting ready to fuck you...you do know you've gotta be prepared a bit before hand? Otherwise it'll hurt like a bitch." Again with the condescending 'I know more than you, you moron' shit.  
  
"Yes, Matthew, I have had gay sex before you know." And so clearly had he then... "But that's not what I meant."  
  
"It isn't?" he asked, now finally dropping his hands (much to my body's protest). By now we'd made it to my room and it was truly time for things to kick off.  
  
"It isn't. What makes you think you get to top?" I asked raising an eyebrow as I took in his confused expression.  
  
"Um, I always do," was how he'd decided to reply. Again as if the answer were the most obvious thing.  
  
"Well not tonight you don't," I said, sticking to the plan. I was in charge.  
  
"What?! Fuck this, I always top!" he growled, the confusion now replaced by annoyance.  
  
I just crossed my arms and held my ground, "Not if you wish to get laid tonight."  
  
"B-but, but...that's just cruel! You can't just get me all worked up and ready and then refuse sex! Fucking tease!" He looked just like a kid that had been told he couldn't get the bike he wanted for christmas.  
  
"I'm not refusing sex- just saying that if you want it, you're bottoming... So do you?" I asked getting close to him again and, in an even bolder move still, ran my hands down his chest and let my fingers curl into the dark trail of hair leading down from his bellybutton. He practically hissed with pleasure. "So? What will it be?" I asked again, my lips right up against his ear and then let my tongue dart out and trace the curve of its shell.  
  
His defences were rapidly falling and as I let my free hand circle back, this time to his arse, he complied easily enough with one defeated nod of his head.  
  
I eased him onto the bed, the previously rapid pace we'd been going at, now far more calm and steady. If I wasn't mistaken I could make out a small hint of fear in those ocean-blue eyes.  
  
Fear that became far more apparent once I'd reached over to get a condom and lube. His eyes growing as he lay there, propped up on his elbows, watching me roll on the condom.  
  
Hey, I'd happily be the first to admit I've been rather gifted in the cock department, a trait I couldn't help noticing Matt also shared. So what, it was all well and good if he got to shove his generously proportioned member up me, but now, when it was his arse one the line (sorry couldn't help myself) it was a different ball game (sorry again)?  
  
"Relax, it'll be fine- surely you've taken it at least once before?" I asked slicking myself up with the lube, before squirting out some more for his entrance.  
  
He just nodded his head and, still rather nervous, spread his legs. "I-It, it's been awhile...and even then it only happened a handful of times..." He definitely sounded a whole lot more sober now, as I ran my lubricated finger along his quivering hole.  
  
"Well, it's like riding a bike," I said grinning at him, just as my finger was done with its teasing and slipped into him.  
  
I'd forgotten how much fun it was to be on top- usually opting for the less dominant role, I didn't always get to see this initial response from my partner. And boy did Matthew not disappoint. His eyes, after first popping wide, became heavily lidded and his jaw went all slack. He also let out little moans, while I let my finger do its work. His fingers dug into my back as I pushed the next finger in and began scissoring them inside him, before managing to sneak in a third.  
  
"See, it's pretty great isn't it?" I asked, but he seemed no longer capable of words, and a glance down to his leaking cock told me he was as ready as he'd ever be.  
  
He let out a moan of complaint when I finally pulled my fingers out and instead spread his legs further, pulling up one to rest over my shoulder and then the next.  
  
"Oh God, be gentle," he groaned as I lined my cock up.  
  
"This won't hurt," I said and suddenly pushed forward, letting my cock push up in where my fingers had been. "After a bit that is."  
  
He squirmed and I'm sure I heard a slight sob (I kid you not), but I held him in place and continued. Slowly and gently. Fighting the urge to just fuck him hard, straight into my mattress. Going against what my body was screaming to do. Thankfully it didn't take long for the moans of pain to be replaced by deeper ones of what was unmistakably pleasure. Which was a good thing as I don't think I could've held back much longer.  
  
But now his moans weren't good enough, I wanted to make him scream. To reduce this arrogant, self-loving, pretentious git into the screaming mess I just knew he had in him.  
  
It turned out not to take much; a twist of my hips here and a powerful, deep thrust there and he started coming undone before my eyes.  
  
"F-U-C-K!!!" he yelled after one particularly hard one, his fingers digging deep into my skin- no doubt leaving marks.  
  
"That's it, scream for me, Matthew! Show. Me. That. You. Love. It!!" I yelled right back, between grunts of effort. His skin- and no doubt my own- was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, our bodies sliding even easier against each other.  
  
"Oh, God!!" He screamed again, now pushing himself down on me too. Our pace quickly increased in tempo and before long I was properly pounding into his slender body, tearing the most unbelievably erotic screams from him.  
  
I could tell he was close, when his eyes started to flutter and roll back, and thank goodness for that because I could feel myself reaching climax too; that familiar deep burn building in me and my hips' rhythm verging on uncontrollable.  
  
"Dom, I-I think I'm, I'm- FUCKING--UNGH!!" I tore one final scream, I'm sure the loudest too, from his now trembling form; which was quickly followed by the sensation of his warm cum spewing between us. My release instantly following, while we rode out our orgasms.  
  
"God, Matt...fuck..." I sighed, finally collapsing onto him, happy and spent, the smell of his shampoo and sweat strong as I nuzzled into his damp hair. The poor thing had passed out practically straight after he'd climaxed, though, the afterglow sending him straight under. Clearly the booze and fucking amazing sex had just been too much for him.  
  
' _Sweet_ ,' I thought, as I kissed his lips lightly, before reaching over to retrieve the duvet, which had been knocked down, and pulling it over us. Another look in his direction, and I was gifting his sweet lips a few more kisses. The generally ruthless bastard he could be, looking just as sweet as an angel in slumber, how could I not just want to take advantage of the situation?  
  
Pulling his slim frame into my arms- ignoring the sticky results of our actions- and with a content smile on my own lips, I let sleep quickly claim me too.


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of a car hooting on the street outside woke me. My head was pounding like something awful, and I couldn't remember much from the previous night, everything after the shots came into the picture just seemed to hang in a blur.  
  
 _Fuck, where was I even?_  
  
When I tried to move though I became only far too aware of what I'd undoubtedly done last night.  
  
 _Shit._  
  
I was stiff all over and had the most unpleasant ache in the direction of my arse. The aches and pains, probably gave as good as any indication, but noting the fact that I was also butt-naked and in someone else's bed? Yeah, there really was no doubt about what I'd been up to last night.  
  
I felt gross and hungover, yet no matter how badly I wanted to, I couldn't deny that I felt far more lighter and relaxed. The uncomfortable stiffness, was rather more pleasurable than I'd ever be willing to admit.  
  
I yanked myself out of the less than spotless sheets and was greeted by the delight that is dried cum; all along my front.  
  
 _Argh, disgusting. I could definitely do with a nice, long shower._  
  
I spotted the bathroom easily enough and, stepping into the shower, was met with the sight of more products than I'd ever seen assembled together out of a store, which, along with the relaxing stream of warm water, helped to trigger the rest of my hazy memory...  
  
 _Holy fuck. Seriously Bellamy? Couldn't keep it in your pants once the booze came into play? And_ Dominic, _Dominic Howard? Jesus Christ._  
  
As I grabbed one of the numerous bottles that appeared to be shampoo, I had to roll my eyes. The wanker even had "blonde specialised shampooing lotion."  
  
After washing my hair with his, no doubt ridiculously priced, hair products and scrubbing myself raw with some of the fancy shower gel, I quickly finished up and, towel firmly wrapped around my waist, went around the small apartment, trying to find him. He was nowhere in sight. Fuck, I desperately needed to find him. This was not good. None of it.  
  
The bastard has fucked everything up. At least he stands a chance to...  
  
Fuck, what was I thinking? I knew I should've held back on my drinking, and then when he'd come up to buy me drinks?  
  
I should have known. The blonde creep's been eyeing me up for weeks and doing his best to be all kind and sweet to me. None of the other guys do that around the office, only the women still try to be friendly...  
  
The offered cigarettes also should've been a sign. Nothing's really ever for free after all is it?  
  
I eventually managed to find all my things lying around near the front door (always straight to the point, as usual, Bellamy) and got dressed. I was already horribly late for work, but I needed to go home and change first. Then I could go and sort this damn fucked up mess out.  
  
When I reached for the front door I saw a piece of paper with my name on it was attached to the door, just above the handle.  
  
 _Hey, sorry about me just ditching and all, but I have work and unlike some of us, my dad's not one of the bosses and I can't afford to skip work. Maybe see you there if you do show up- you refused to wake up- so sorry if you did plan on coming in... Anyways help yourself to food or anything else, make yourself at home! :D_  
  
I stared down at the note. Shit. I still can't fucking believe it, and then he has the nerve to go and do this?! After feeding me drinks until I could barely see straight and then taking advantage of my inebriated state, he's all "Oh yeah, help yourself to some breakfast"?! He didn't even have the gall to face the music!  
  
Well I don't think so!  
  
My hangover putting me in an even worse mood than usual, I scrunched up the note into a little ball and threw it to the ground. That's it, I'm gonna have to deal with this, but first; home and a fresh set of clothes. Probably another shower too...  
  
He's not about to get away with it that easily. Fuck, this goes beyond personal, and the fact that I feel like I've had a jackhammer pounded into my arse.  
  
No, this, this could ruin any hope I have left of going back out there to report and I'm not about to let some dumb blonde get in the way of my passion.  
  
  
                                        

                                             ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"So, you still haven't told me," Tom pointed out, for about the hundredth time since I'd come in to work, as we now stood taking our 'illegal' smoke break.

He'd been trying all morning to get me to tell him what had happened last night. I was refusing to spill.

"Nothing, honestly," I replied as casually as I could, stubbing out my cigarette. Hey, we've all lied in our lives.

"Really, then why is he storming at us right now? I highly doubt he looks that pissed-off because of our little sneaked smoke break..." Tom said stubbing out his cigarette now too.

"Come again?" I asked, but turned to see for myself, where he was looking.

_Oh, fuck._

Tom wasn't kidding... To say Matthew looked "pissed-off" was the understatement of the year. He looked absolutely furious, and the next thing I knew; he had me by the collar and rammed up against the office building.

"WHAT THE FUCK, HOWARD?!" I could feel his long fingers digging into me, his blue eyes trying to burn me with his very gaze. "What were you thinking?! Or are you physically incapable of thought?!"

"Whoa, Matthew, what are you doing?!" Tom asked, trying to step in and help me.

"Mind your own damned business, Kirk, and fuck off back inside! And anyway I don't believe you're supposed to be on break now!"

Tom made as though he was about to act, but I managed to catch his eye first. "Don't Tom, just, just go back inside, yeah? I'm fine," I managed to say, despite the pressure on my throat from Matthew's grip.

"Fine...but I don't like what's going on here," he said and reluctantly turned to leave, before spinning around once more. "But if you lay one hand on Dom, I swear I'll beat the shit out of you Bellamy- even if your father is one of the bosses!"

Matthew just grunted and rolled his eyes, as if the very thought was absurd and Tom wouldn't stand a chance against him. With one last glance in my direction, Tom finally headed back inside, leaving us all alone.

"What's your deal Matthew?" I asked, finally managing to shove him off me. The guy really was surprisingly strong for his height and build.

"'What's my deal'? What's my deal?! You got me fucking wasted last night and then dragged me back to yours, where you took advantage of my drunken state!" he yelled in response, his hands curling into tight fists, the whites of his knuckles showing through his pale, thin skin.

"I got you drunk?! Excuse me! I just offered you one drink, you did the rest all on your own! And for the record, you were the one that made the first move!" I countered, my voice rising to match his own.

"I was drunk off my face! And yes, maybe I did start it off, but you kept on buying me more- you should've done the right thing and sent me home, not take me to fucking bed with you!!"

I was furious now. How dare he?!

"You were the one that claimed you'd 'forgotten' where you lived, you were also the one that shoved your tongue down my fucking throat the minute we reached mine! I thought you could just sleep on my couch!"

"I was DRUNK, what the fuck did I know?! For God's sake, Howard, don't you understand what this could do to me?! You've gone and just about fucked up my whole life!!"

"'What did you know'? Well you certainly knew how to take off my pants! And so fucking what Matthew? People know I'm gay- it hasn't killed me!" Talk about over-reacting, jeez; he was the one that initiated everything. I won't let him put it all on me. "And you can't blame me for the fact that you wanted to screw me, drunk or not, don't make your shame for liking cock my problem!"

"'Shame'? I'm not fucking ashamed- I love who I am, and I don't deny that I like to shag men, the problem has nothing to do with that! Aside from the fact that you purposefully got me drunk so I'd lose my goddamn sense and finally sleep with you- don't deny it; I've caught you staring- the issue is work! I could stand to lose everything!!"

What?! Vain much? And anyway, I'm sure I was far more discreet... Well at least now I also know he doesn't need to be drunk to realise he likes guys...but still, what is he on about?!

"Excuse me? I'm gay, and I work just fine here- why would it be any different for you? Your father's certainly not a homophobe," I said, lowering my voice now a bit, but still returning his glare in full force.

"I couldn't give a fuck what my father thinks; hell he's put up with a lot worse from me over the years! The issue is my specialised line of work..." his voice had calmed down a bit more now too, but he still looked pissed-off (and if I'm honest, still a bit scary).

I just stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "So?"

"I'm not some flamboyant fucking anchor- I actually go out there and get my hands dirty, just think about it. Where does my specific journalistic field take me?" His voice even sounded normal now again. Too bad I was still clueless.

"Um...uh-"

"Places like the Middle East and to counties like Libya, The DRC, Uganda and Cameroon- places where I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near if they knew I were gay. Homosexuality is not only just frowned upon there... You see, if word got out? I'd never get to go back." His eyes had even softened now, inside them I'm sure I could even see hurt and frustration...sadness.

"But what does it matter anyway? You're here, working in London, now," I replied like the complete idiot I am.

I should completely have expected it, it was no secret that he hated being stuck here and not running around avoiding getting shot at anymore. But his sudden, and instant, flip back still caught me off guard.

"That's exactly why!! And it matters everything!!" He yelled, his deep set eyes darkening once more. "I will NOT be stuck in some stuffy office for the rest of my career!"

"Well there are other places and stories you could work with." I could've hit myself in the face.

_God, why was I so stupid?!_

"Are you a fucking moron; why would I?! They are where my passion lies, where I stand a chance to make a difference! God, surely by now you've realised this?!" he said shaking his head.

I just stood there staring at him, completely caught up in his tirade. Fuck, I was instantly reminded of what drew me to him in the first place: his passion. He was so intense and passionate about making a difference, about going out there and helping show the world what was wrong with it and make us face what we let happen just under our noses.

His eyes had a way of lighting up, his stare so intense one couldn't dream of looking away. He just seemed to have this way of drawing your attention and making you listen, whether you wanted to hear what he had to say or not.

But I was quickly snapped out of my little state when he suddenly changed again and had me pressed up against the wall once more.

"So, let me make this especially clear to you now; if you tell anyone- and I mean anyone- about last night, about me, I will make you sorely regret it. Because if this stops me from getting to go back out there, I'll make sure you bloody rue ever getting me drunk and fucking with me." He wasn't even shouting this time, instead his voice was now just calm and threatening. I didn't know whether to shit myself or be extremely turned on.

"That also includes your idiot friend- a word out of him and I'll have both your heads. Have I made myself clear?"

"Um, uh, yeah, uh, I promise- I won't tell a soul. In fact it never happened!" Yes I know. I'm not only incredibly stupid, but also a huge fucking coward. Why else do you think I let people like Matthew run around in war-torn countries, while I keep myself safe and comfy behind a flashy desk and studio lights?

His grip instantly let up and he dropped me; thankfully I managed to stop from adding to my, already long, list of displays of idiocy, by not stumbling over.

"There's a good boy, now don't forget," he said and slapped me condescendingly on the cheek, before spinning on his heel and heading inside himself, without so much as another word in departing.

And, as much as I hate to now admit it, I could feel a tightening in my trousers, only made worse by the sight of his gorgeous arse (in those form-fitting black pants he so likes to wear) heading inside.

God, who knew I loved to be dominated? Oh right, I did.


	7. Chapter 7

I'd tried everything, but my father refuses to even consider me going out again until the minimum nine months were up.  
  
Great that only left me with five. Five incredibly long, painful months full of boredom and frustration.  
  
"And in other related news..."  
  
Yes and in other news I was a whole lot more than frustrated. It's been well over a month since my drunken night with Dominic. More than a month of trying to deny it, but...  
  
I needed a good fuck. And not just any, please, I've already shagged quite a few women since then and sadly they just didn't cut it.  
  
I've always thought myself bi, but to be honest as I go along I find myself more and more interested in men rather. For all I know it's probably always been like that, Lord knows that that could explain why I go through more women than the amount of times I've changed my socks. And why I find myself sitting here, in the control room, doing cues and technical directing, with my eyes glued  to that ridiculous blonde with his completely inappropriately long hair. Did I seriously have to reprimand him on it again?  
  
God, what was wrong with me? Just looking at him like this, while he and Jessica finish up the evening's prime time news slot, makes me get all fidgety- even more so than usual- and hot.  
  
I'd been perfectly fine, perfectly. Until that damned smartarse had gone and stepped into the picture. Well actually, in the beginning he'd been fine- and by fine I mean completely irritating and infuriating to work with. Only now he was all of that for a completely different reason.  
  
I was horrified when I caught myself beginning to smile when he and Jessica wrapped up with a parting joke, his perfect white teeth breaking out in full display, those full pink lips curving up to his eyes in his trademark sunny smile.  
  
What really was wrong with me? I hadn't noticed all these things before- like how his golden hair glints in the most beautiful way under the studio lighting- at least not really. I hadn't given him a second glance. I hadn't even thought of him like that; I'd just been so focused on my unfair situation, that a hot blonde was the last thing on my mind.  
  
That is until that night. Now it seemed like he was the only thing on my mind.  
  
"...aaand that's a wrap! Nice work people, really nice!" Chris, the director, cheered as the two news anchors got up to go do whatever it is they do before heading home for the night.  
  
Though just the thought of Dominic "doing" something other than me made my insides knot. Shit. What the hell _was_ wrong with me lately?  
  
I wasn't like this. Ever. People chased me, I didn't go after them, and I certainly didn't get all attached and like a little bitch about them.  
  
  
  
"Nice work tonight though, Dom! I swear, if you keep it up like this you'll definitely win another mention in one of those celebrity magazines' 'Hot' lists," I could hear Tom say, his voice travelling in through my office's open door. Dom and him must be sitting just outside my office, no doubt at one of the intern's desks.  
  
"Aww," I could hear Dominic reply. I couldn't help myself, I leaned over, still in my chair to sneak a peak through my still open door; and there he was, golden hair all messed up again now that he was done, his tie hanging loose around his neck.  
  
"But we both know you're just saying that 'cause you want something! Let's face it, I know you too well Tommy-Boy," he laughed and ruffled Tom's mess of brown hair.  
  
What I wouldn't give to have those fingers in my own hair...  
  
"Damn you Howard, damn you! All I'm asking for is just a little something, not much. And we both know you know how to do it just right..."  
  
I knew he wasn't talking about what my depraved mind was jumping at, but I could still feel my fingers twitching. Shit the finger twitch; my craving call...  
  
I was dying over here. I needed to put this to an end, something needed to be done. Stupid Dominic Howard and his Goddamn messy, unprofessional hair and laid back, happy-go-lucky personality.  
  
Who did he even think he was? I'd caught him still staring at me, yes admittedly I'd also recently started to catch myself doing the same to him, but there's a difference. I wasn't the guilty party here. I wasn't the irresponsible moron.  
  
I actually did things right. I was professional.  
  
I could see my hands had started to shake a bit and I was practically biting through my lip. The same symptoms I get around cigarettes... Ok, that does it.  
  
I got up and stormed over to my open door, kicking aside a ball of paper I'd thrown aside earlier when I'd been editing one of the countless morons that surround me here's article.  
  
"Howard, in my office NOW!!" I shouted, sticking my head out of my office door, loving the way everyone jumped at the sound of my voice.  
  
                                        

                           

                                                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Howard, in my office NOW!!"

I practically fell off the desk I was sitting on when Matthew bellowed out across the office for me.

"What does he want?" Tom asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

In the end, after that day, a month or so ago, when Matthew had been so furious at me and Tom had demanded answers; I'd just told him that I'd let Matthew sleep on my couch and that he'd been so angry because he'd had a dreadful hangover and put all the blame on me for making him late and 'forcing drinks down him'.

Yes, I'd lied, but hey, it was partly true, no? And I'd done it for everyone's good, so surely it doesn't count then...

Either way, Tom's dislike for Matthew just increased. He didn't trust him- and I quote- 'as far as that scrawny little cocksucker could throw me! No offence intended there Dom, but he's not really gay so it doesn't really count.'

Oh Tommy-Boy, if only you knew...

"How should I know?" I asked with a shrug.

"What part of 'NOW' is so hard for you to understand, Howard?! Or would you prefer it if I spelled it out?!" God, he's such an impatient little git. "N-O-W, as in of this second!!"

"Wow, you really are his bitch, Dom," Chris laughed as he came to join us at last, Jess at his side, both finally ready to leave- only much too late as usual.

"Yeah, you better get going, Dom, we'll save you a place at McCullum's," Jess smiled sweetly.

Great, stupid Matthew Bellamy was not only continuously trying to make my life miserable, as well as make me look like an idiot at every possible opportunity, but was now also going to make me late for evening drinks with my mates.

Now that's it. That's the final straw. That pompous, arrogant little-

"HOWARD, GET THE FUCK IN HERE _NOW!!!_ "

"See you in a bit, Dommy," Jess said.

"Yeah, hope you're still in one piece..." Tom agreed.

"Cheers," I replied and turned to go face him. But I wasn't about to be intimidated. No, I will stand up for myself, he can't just think he can keep treating me like this!

And anyway, what was there to be so scared of? After all, I've seen him at his most vulnerable; quivering and sweating beneath me and unable to control his voice. The same voice that he's trying to scare me with now, is the very one that's also screamed my name loud enough for all my neighbours to hear and for a completely different reason.

Straightening up the loose tie around my neck and with one last deep breath for confidence- determined to have my say- I finally stepped into his office.

He was sitting at his desk, his smart, black shoes resting on its surface and with his hands folded.

"Took you fucking long enough. Now close the door- didn't your parents teach you anything?- and please this time do it before we both go grey with age."

Could he possibly be any more condescending?! I grit my teeth as I pulled the door shut and then locked it for good measure in case he questioned that too.

When I looked back, expecting to have heard another smartarse comment from him, I saw that he was no longer sitting at his desk anymore. He was walking straight to me instead.

_Oh shit, oh fuck, oh fucking shit. What did I do wrong now?!_

I didn't tell a soul, I hadn't spoken about that night with anyone- he was the last I'd spoken to about it.

Oh God, what if Tom had figured it out and told someone, who'd told someone, who'd then also told someone, who in turn had told someone else, and so now- now he can't, and if he can't, well then-

But instead of the expected backlash or implied suffering brought on by such actions, what I got was very different. Very different and definitely very unexpected.

He instantly pulled into me the second we were close enough, drawing our bodies flush to one another, and slammed our mouths together. Using my sudden gasp of shock to his advantage, by slipping his tongue in my mouth and greedily sliding it against my own, sucking my very breath away.

Like before, he didn't waste much time, quickly undoing my tie, before his hands were already sliding up under my shirt, his long fingers seeking out every inch of skin they could find.

I felt him sigh into my mouth at the sound of my groan, when he'd located one of my nipples. The feeling of those fingers stroking and toying with the, now no doubt, rock-hard nub made my legs feel weak and like jelly. His kisses were deep and desperate, just like I remember them being that night, but they were even more forceful and urgent now, his hands starting to travel more south.

Suddenly something in my head snapped. I'd decided to stand up for myself and do something for myself for once- yet here I was just standing there and letting him do all the work and have all the fun. I don't think so.

If he wanted to now suddenly just shoot for it? Fine, let's just see how much he's up for.

I let my hands, that had been hanging limp at my sides, spark to life. I undid his tie as well and threw it aside, before I started unbuttoning his dark blue shirt, my fingers showing their expertise as the cloth quickly gave way to the pearly-white skin beneath. But instead of copying his actions I let my hands sneak behind him and run down along the curve of his back, only stopping when they reached his trousers.

All it took was a grunt on my part for his fingers to abandon their pursuit of my front torso and waist, and instead move to start undoing his belt.

Ah, so he really was up for the whole shebang, so to speak...

 

                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Oh, God," I managed to hear Dominic sigh. His hands slipped down inside the back of my pants and cupped my arse, while I pushed his unbuttoned shirt off of him, revealing deliciously bronzed skin.

Taking this as I sign, I quickly stripped his belt off and undid his button and fly in a matter of seconds, before yanking his trousers and boxers straight down. I was instantly rewarded with the sight of his erect and over-eager cock. Shit, it was like being greeted with a glass of fresh water after being stranded in the ocean; so much around torturing you and at last some you can finally drink.

Wait, did I just say drink? Hmm... Maybe later, but right now I need a whole fucking bath!

"Share for share," he said with a wicked smirk, pulling back into a quick kiss, before breaking off and grabbing my pants now. "I've wanted to see you again so badly..." he said, though I think more to himself, and undid my trousers' fly.

Judging by his little sigh and the way he instantly grasped my straining cock, pulling it out of my boxers, he wasn't too disappointed.

"Fuck, Howard," I gasped as he began to jerk me off with firm, quick strokes, while I stuck two fingers in my mouth and sucked on them.

"Please. Call. Me. Dom," he said back, between his heavy breathing, my- now wet- fingers starting to brush against his entrance.

"Whatever," I replied and then pushed him off me and into my desk, his tanned back and arse at my full display. "Don't move now," I instructed and headed over to my desk's top drawer.

"What're you doing?" he asked, clearly upset that we'd stopped, his darkened grey eyes focused on me.

"Getting a condom obviously, surely you're not thinking I wouldn't use protection," I replied simply, finally locating them and tearing off one.

"Um, uh, no- no- of course not..." was his lame reply as I tore open the packet. At the sound his eyes returned to look up at me from his position over the desk.

I just raised an eyebrow and smirked as I rolled the condom on, watching his eyes widen as he took it all in, his tongue snaking out to lick his lips. In reply to that I leaned over and shoved my fingers in his mouth this time. He gladly ran his tongue over the long digits, before I pulled them back with a small "pop."

"Now where were we?" I asked, walking over to him again and got straight back to starting to finger him, this time much faster, quickly slipping in two fingers to stretch his tight ring of muscle.

But when I added a third his hips bucked forward and he let out a loud moan. I instantly pulled my fingers out.

"What the fuck Howard? We're still in a fucking office, surrounded by other people! If you make that much noise you can fucking forget this right now," I said when he turned his head back to look at me in surprised disappointment.

"What, whoa, wait!" he said, reaching his hand back to grab mine. "I'll be quiet, please, don't stop..."

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand back, then, using my left hand, forced his head forward again, my right returning to its previous duty.

This time when I pulled my fingers out from his shuddering, slim frame and used my hands to line his hips up, his head turned to look back at me in surprise.

"What now?" I asked in a justly irritated voice, letting out an equally frustrated sigh.

"What about some lube? Surely you're not just gonna start pounding away without any?!"

"You're kidding me right? Where exactly am I supposed to miraculously pull some lube out of?!"

"Hey, it's my arse; lube is a must have. How can you have condoms in this office- which by the way is highly questionable- yet not have any lube?!"

"Well the past people I fucked in here didn't exactly require any lube- women are pretty handy in that department. And anyway you'll be fine- this condom already has some lubrication on." His eyes were still the size of dinner plates though and he looked very doubtful, his gaze focused on my now impatiently throbbing cock.

"Fuck, what a baby. If it makes you feel better I'll even use spit!" I said, promptly spitting into my palm and coating my already fairly slick cock with it.

His eyes were still trained down at my crotch.

"Okay, that's it, turn back around," I instructed and pushed him back hard against the desk.

"Fine, but I better be able to walk out of here- I mean I still have to go out for drinks!"

"God, will you just fucking shut up already?!" I said and lined us up again. "But I must admit that you may just stagger a bit after," I added, as I suddenly thrust myself forward and past his resisting muscle.

I was momentarily sidetracked by the tight feeling of him surrounding my cockhead, until a deep groan escaped his lips. I instantly whacked him on the side of the head.

"Sorry, sorry, but God...I don't know whether it hurts more or- unghh!" Another swift blow to the side of his head.

"Shut the fuck up, dammit!" I hissed into his ear and, as if to prove a point, started to properly 'pound' into him. It didn't take long for his slender frame to start trembling and for his breathing to become even more laboured. But I had to hand it to him; he really bit his lip and shut up, I ended up only needing to whack him a few more times.

"I-I-I think, I think I'm...close," he gasped, but I just grunted in reply, before twisting my hips, feeling my own climax fast approaching.

Then, with one last deep thrust, my hips seemingly having taken on a life of their own, I felt his heated skin shudder as he came with a deep moan. Luckily for him I was too far gone myself to hit him for his infringement, and instead, biting down on my own lip now, rode out my own orgasm, trying my best not to scream like I was dying to. Though by now I doubt many people had stayed around outside in the big office.

"So...hot...oh, my...God...that was...wow," Dominic managed between heavy breaths, as I collapsed over him, feeling completely finished myself.

When I'd finally caught my breath, I pushed up off of him and pulled out, Dominic letting out a sigh from the release. I just let out a small grunt and pulled the used condom off, before disposing of it and tucking myself back in and zipping back up. I then went off to retrieve my shirt from its crumpled place on the floor.

As I put it on, I noticed he'd barely moved since- having only pulled up his trousers. He was just staring at something on my desk and when I made my way over, I saw that he was zoned out on the sight of his cum marring the polished black wood.

"I hope you're planning on cleaning that up," I said buttoning my shirt up.

"Huh?" he said, looking up at me with a blank expression on his face.

"My desk, clean it before you leave," I repeated, fastening the last button, before retrieving my tie and doing it up.

"Oh, uh, yeah sure," he replied, and I noticed how his eyes quickly gave me a once over.

I just sighed and rolled my eyes. "So yeah, clean the desk- and I trust I don't need to remind you of my...situation," I reminded as I did my best to neaten up my hair.

"I know, I know. I won't tell a soul." He then stepped away from the desk and made for his own shirt. "So...are we gonna, um, do this again? Just so I, you know, know what's going on..."

I just turned to look at him, having already grabbed my jacket and slung my laptop case over my shoulder. "Don't forget to clean the desk."

And with that I left the stunned blonde, his question still unanswered, to himself.

Hey, I didn't even know what was going on anymore myself...


	8. Chapter 8

"Well, well, well, look who's finally decided to join us!" Tom grinned as I made my way to their corner booth, having finally spotted them.  
  
"And don't you look a mess too!" Chris added with a chuckle before he sipped at his pint.  
  
"Har, har, you lot are hilarious," I said slipping in next to Jess. "So did you even bother to get me a drink while you waited?"  
  
"'Course Dommy," Jess smiled and motioned with her hands for me to move back out. "You'll just have to join me in going to buy it."  
  
"Seriously?" I asked, but couldn't make a convincingly annoyed voice. Fuck, I was just too happy.  
  
"Indeed..." she replied and I could see a knowing smile shape her perfectly red tinted lips. Jess was always on top form, even for evening drinks after work at the end of a long week. She always looked camera ready, not a hair out of place.  
  
"Hey, what're you smiling about Dommeh?" Tom asked, leaning over the table towards me as I stood up. Him and Chris clearly hadn't waited for me to join before hitting the drinks...  
  
"Yeah, you're definitely smiling a lot for a bloke that just got shat on by one of his bosses. An utter bastard in particular; even if he thinks the bloke's got a cute arse!" Chris agreed.  
  
"CHRIS!!" I said jumping with surprise.  
  
"Hey, don't think we haven't caught you staring!" Tom agreed. "You even admitted a bit at Jess' party!"  
  
I could feel myself going a bright shade of pink and Jess' ever growing smile at my side only made it even worse.  
  
"Hush, you two don't even know what you're talking about. I'm just smiling 'cause I've been dying for a drink all day!" I declared as Jess popped up next to me.  
  
"Hmm..." They didn't seem completely convinced.  
  
"Well the bloke's a complete twat anyway," Tom pointed out. "So you're just wasting your time drooling over his skinny little arse."  
  
"Yeah, and anyway, you don't seem his usual type..." Chris added.  
  
"Yup, from what I know he likes himself a pretty little P.A. or-"  
  
"He banged Stacy, I know that for a fact, haven't you noticed how she always death stares him when he walks past? And the way she argues with everything he has to say about Weather. She definitely doesn't like him."  
  
"Don't most of us?" Tom asked, sending them both off into giggling fits.  
  
I felt like standing up for Matthew, but I knew it would be pointless arguing with the two of them, they'd be able to match each of my points and then some. It would be a losing battle from the beginning; I could also hardly add in the fact that he fucks like a champ as my argument. And at the end of the day they were right: Matthew was a complete arse.  
  
"Come Dom, let's get you that drink," Jess said, rolling her eyes at them and taking my hand.  
  
"So, spill." She had barely waited until we were out of earshot.  
  
"Wh-what?" I asked, surprised by the determined look on her face.  
  
"Come on Dom, you don't think I don't know something's going on. Something went on when we left you, didn't it?" she replied raising a perfectly tweezed eyebrow.  
  
"Um, uh, what are you even on about, woman? Make some sense." Nice defence there Dom, there's no way she won't believe you now.  
  
"Cut the crap, Howard, you've got that 'just fucked' look plastered all over your face!"  
  
'Howard.' Just hearing her say it made my stomach flutter and twist.  
  
"Ah-ha! Something did happen!!!" she yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Oh my God, Dom! _Matthew?_ Matthew Bellamy?!"  
  
I knew I'd been found out. The jig was up. My face probably going the deepest of pinks.  
  
"Well...you've gotta promise not to tell a soul-"  
  
"Holy shit! I'm right!! My God, Dom! I am so fucking impressed right now!!! How did you even-"  
  
"Shhhh!!" I grumbled, putting a hand over her now hysterically giggling mouth.  
  
"But, Dom, how did you? I mean...does he even like, you know, like..."  
  
"Cock?" I asked with a sneaky grin.  
  
"Dom!" she gasped, hitting me on the shoulder, and laughed even more.  
  
"Well...okay, but you've got to promise me now you won't tell anyone- and I mean *any*one," I said, getting serious, to show her just how big a deal it was.  
  
I know, I know, I told Matthew I wouldn't tell anyone, but Jess had (as always) figured it out all on her own. And hey, I really wanted to actually talk to someone about it; Lord knows Matthew would die before he even talked about it with me.  
  
"I promise Dommy, you know you can trust me. I won't let it leave my lips," she said making as though she were zipping her mouth shut.  
  
"Okay, fine. I'll tell you after drinks, you can come over to mine for a coffee or something."  
  
"Oh Dom, if I didn't know you were gay and clearly having something with Matthew Bellamy, I would think you were trying to get it on with me."  
  
"Oh Jess, as lovely as you are, I am indeed gay and as for Matthew?...well you'll just have to find out," I replied just as the barman finally handed me my drink.  
  
                                                                                                      ***  
  
"...so basically that's it," I said sitting back in my sofa, having finally finished filling Jess in on everything; starting from her birthday party, until earlier that evening...  
  
"Oh my word...I still, wow, I can't believe it..." she said, staring at me intently.  
  
"Yeah, I know..." was all I could manage in reply.  
  
"So...what's he look like?!"  
  
"Huh?!" I asked, surprised by her sudden question.  
  
"Oh you know what I mean, 'Howard'," she said smiling evilly- knowing now that that's all Matthew would refer to me as. "His dick, Dom, what's it like?!"  
  
"JESSICA!!!" I yelled, completely shocked by her forwardness, but soon joined in with her giggling fit.  
  
"Come on, Dom-mie! Tell me, tell me!! Has he got a scrawny little knob or is it...well, I've seen the size of those feet!!"  
  
"Jess!!" I could feel my cheeks burning up like mad, but she just poked me in the stomach, using her best puppy eyes on me. "Okay, okay...."  
  
"So? So?!" It was ridiculous, she was practically bouncing up and down on the sofa now.  
  
"Let's just say my arse is going to be killing me for awhile! Why the hell do you think I'm sitting on one of the cushions?!"  
  
"Really? God...knew it! And, was he any good?! Details, Dom, I want proper details!!"  
  
"You know you're crazy right?" I smiled at her.  
  
"Come on now!"  
  
"Well he was...wow...but..." my voice trailed off on it's own, certain flashbacks coming into focus.  
  
"What Dom?" she asked sounding more concerned now too.  
  
"Well...he...he's not exactly, what's the word...gentle? He's also soooo condescending it's crazy!"  
  
"Really? Huh...funnily enough though that's not all exactly surprising..."  
  
I just nodded, the thought of the way he just seemed to dominate and take no shit, playing through my mind. A small smile crept onto my face.  
  
"But, fuck, is he worth it."  
  
  
                                        

                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I walked into work on Monday to find a little note left on my desk- no doubt from Dominic, when he left the other night.

_Hey, I cleaned your desk like you asked! See I'm a nice guy :) but you never answered my question...what's going on?_

At least the idiot had had some vague amount of sense not to sign his name, but still: he'd left evidence! What an utter fuckwit.

 

I hoped I could just ignore it, and all his pointed looks at me, when he thought no one was looking, during prep. Like the professional I am, I just acted normally and treated him like I would any other day, or any of the other employees...

"What the fuck, Howard? Why would you even suggest something like that?! Who the fuck, aside from your own weirdass self, would give a fuck that leopard print is starting to make a come back?!" I yelled shooting down his proposal. "Please! Can one of you other morons suggest something at least somewhat more meaningful and with a purpose?!" I asked appealing to the others around the table. "Not that topping Howard's completely shit idea should be too hard!"

 

This of course carried through till the end of the day, me keeping the perfect example of professionalism, and down right ignoring his toned, tanned arse when I didn't need to address him. I just wish I could say the same for him. I knew it had been a bad idea, it was only a matter of time until someone else would notice his pathetically pleading eyes.

Of course, when we'd finally wrapped up our side of things, I retired to finish one of my own articles and proposal plans in my office. I hadn't realised how much time had gone by, until I looked up to see a pair of big grey eyes staring down at me.

"Howard, what the fuck are you doing, have you never heard of knocking?!" I yelled in fright, pulling my earbuds out.

"I did. You just didn't answer, clearly you couldn't hear," was his simple reply, and he looked down at me with a smile.

"Still, you shouldn't have snuck up on me like that! And what exactly are you even doing here- why haven't you gone home like the rest?" I asked glancing at my watch. It was way past home time for our lot.

"I, I, uh...was waiting for us to be alone...?" he replied looking down, probably in the hopes that I wouldn't see the blush spreading over his face.

"And why's that?" I asked him, leaning back in my chair.

"What do you mean 'why'?!" His head had instantly snapped up to look up at me.

"Exactly what I said..." I replied raising my eyebrows.

"Well, you know, we could...repeat the other evening?" he said, his nervousness painfully apparent.

Looking at him from my comfortable position, just seeing him begging like this... I could feel myself already getting hard.

But I wasn't about to let him think he had even the slightest bit of control here; in whatever the hell was going on between us.

"I don't think so," was instead my reply. His face quite literally fell.

"Wait, what?"

"Go home, Howard," was my only reply and I went straight back to typing.

"But...what?" he repeated, but more to himself. I refused to look up again and after a short bit I heard the door close.

When I looked up again he was gone. Sadly my hard-on wasn't and any attempt to continue working with it would be hopeless. Luckily though I was now probably the last person in, so it should be okay to...

With a frustrated sigh, I unbuckled my belt and undid my button and fly, then lifted myself up a bit so I could slide my boxers down a bit. Hey, I was all alone now, why shouldn't I be allowed to have a quick wank in my own office, especially when the rest of the office's floor was empty too?

My right hand slipped down easily and grasped my cock, the welcome sensation sending shivers down my spine; it didn't take long for me to start up a good rhythm. Fuck, it felt good. Too good.

_Golden blonde hair. Shimmering grey eyes. That perfect movie star smile. Impossibly evenly tanned skin, stretched over tight muscle that-_

"Wait! I still want to say-"

_Aw- fucking- hell. Surely not?_

"Matthew?!!"

_Oh shit. Shit, shit, fucking shitting hell._   



	9. Chapter 9

"Matthew?!!"  
  
I'd been on my way down towards the elevator when I'd thought, 'What the fuck is your problem, Dom? How can you just let him have all the say?! Stand up for yourself man!'  
  
So I'd instantly spun on my heel to go give him a piece of my mind. How dare he just treat me like shit all day and then blow me off in such a way after I'd waited hours- HOURS- for everyone else to leave?!  
  
But when I walked in- hell yes I didn't knock the fucking door- I found a whole lot more than I'd been expecting.  
  
Matthew. Matthew Bellamy, the mean arsehole who'd been a dick to me all day and then turned me away like he was way too fucking perfect for me, was jerking off in the same place I'd left him!  
  
"FUCK'S SAKE!! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO KNOCK?!?!" he yelled, but more in surprise, as he quickly tried to hide properly behind the desk. But it was too late. I'd seen him. I'd caught him wanking.  
  
Ha, not so perfect now! And what pray tell had brought on the sudden urge to jerk off? He'd been lost in his work when I'd first walked in; which can only mean one thing...  
  
With a sudden swell of confidence stemming from my little deduction, I just smiled at him and sauntered over. Not saying a single thing in reply to his startled demand.  
  
"What are you doing, Howard?!" he asked, clearly trying to quickly pull his pants back into place.  
  
"Here! Leave those, I need to see you," I replied stopping by his chair and spinning it to face me directly.  
  
"Excuse me?!" The cute little look of indignation and annoyance, mixed with the bright flush of embarrassment colouring his angled cheeks, went straight to my groin and put a (no doubt filthy) grin on my face.  
  
"Well I need to see you if I'm gonna be able to do this," I laughed, and went down on my knees, parting his legs with my hands so I could slide in between them.  
  
At first it looked like he was going to push me off and have a major freak out, but something stronger won over- something that made him lean back instead and look searchingly at me with those impossibly blue eyes.  
  
"Well?" he asked still looking at me. "What are you going to 'do' or did you just want to stare up at me from between my legs?" His arrogant tone was back in place, the blush all but faded back to his naturally pale hue.  
  
I just laughed. "Oh, I'll be doing something alright." And with that, I quickly undid his fly- which was all he'd been successful in sorting out- and opened up his black trousers and still half pulled down black boxers. "Well don't you seem to like black," I commented laughing again, and then slid my left hand down them to pull the rest of what I really wanted to see, out again.  
  
God, I'd forgotten, in just this short amount of time, how gorgeously flawless he was everywhere and how absolutely perfect his cock was. A small sigh escaped his lips as I began to start stroking, his head of dark hair fell back in response too.  
  
Already so hard, but the taut skin was so soft, creating a deliciously perfect contrast.  
  
I let my thumb swipe some of the already oozing pre-come down so I could use it on his shaft. My thumb returning to his slit made him let out a hiss.  
  
"You like that?" I asked, knowing full well what the answer was, but wanting to hear some actual words in response from him.  
  
"Fuck," he groaned and then his hands were in my hair, pushing my head down. "Suck me."  
  
Plain and simple. No skirting or sweet talking. Just the straight out request- or rather command...  
  
I briefly considered stopping and not doing it; he hadn't even said 'please'! But then who was I trying to kid? My mouth was already practically watering at the very thought.  
  
"Fine, but then you're gonna have to do something for me then..."  
  
"Wait, what? How can you poss-"  
  
But I cut off his little objection speech, just going straight for it and putting my mouth right over his head and then, tightening my hold (my cheeks most likely hollowing in the most unflattering of ways), I took him in, as far as I could; and my God was there an awful lot of him!  
  
His responding groans were all I needed, I then pulled back a little and began swirling my tongue around his head, letting it brush hard against his slit. That did it, I swear I heard him nearly shout out, while his hips bucked forward, straight into my mouth.  
  
His cock hit the back of my throat though and I felt myself begin to splutter over his well endowed member.  
  
"God, where did you learn to give head, Howard?! This is pathetic."  
  
Seriously?! I'd just heard him groaning and nearly shout out! So what if I'd misinterpreted his, well his size, and choked a bit? I was fucking pro at giving blow jobs, what did he even know?!  
  
As if to prove a point I let my tongue slide over his slit again, before releasing his head with a small "pop."  
  
"So what, you're just gonna stop now? God, can't you take even the smallest of constructive criticism without being a baby about it?!"  
  
I was horrified. Doubly.  
  
But instead of replying to that, I just continued with what I'd been about to do.  
  
I took hold of his cock with my left hand and squeezed, ever so gently, and then blew cool air over his wet head. The deep groan that resulted was more than enough of an indication.  
  
"Urgh..." His fingers laced in my hair tighter. "Okay, wow, now stop teasing- let's see if you have what it takes to make me come."  
  
"Oh, I think we both already know the answer to that," I replied before surrounding him again with my wet mouth.  
  
It didn't even take too long for his hips to start thrusting more and more, so I tightened my hold and let him just fuck my mouth. His groans were music to my ears and at this point I was already painfully hard.  
  
And, just as I could feel he was close to his climax, I loosened my grip and held down his hips, pushing him back into the chair.  
  
"Wh-what?" he asked, too out of breath to even sound threatening.  
  
"Let my mouth do all the work," was my simple reply and I went down on him again.  
  
When I started to gently scrape my teeth along his shaft and then ran my tongue roughly under the ridge of his head, I finally struck gold.  
  
"Unnggghhhhh," he groaned, his body shuddering a bit in his seated position as my mouth filled with his hot, creamy cum. His hands then fell off my head and he too fell back in the seat, his eyes closing dreamily in the most perfect of ways, his mouth still open.  
  
I don't know what came over me (most likely that seeing him so open and vulnerable just seemed to have such an effect on me), but then I swallowed and quickly gave the head of his softening cock a quick peck and tucked him back in, zipping him up, before hopping up and straddling his lap, laying soft kisses to his eyelids and all over his flushed face.  
  
"See, I do know how to give damn fantastic head," I murmured into his ear, letting my tongue slide over its shell.  
  
"Well...you weren't bad, I'll give you that," he replied, his eyes still shut, but his thin lips fluttering as he tried to prevent a smile from shaping them.  
  
"Sure, sure," I said and then snaked my tongue into his still slightly open mouth. After running it along his tongue and the roof of his mouth, he quickly began to reciprocate and kissed me back, his own tongue properly joining in. The kisses were painfully sweet and rushed straight to my head, making me feel almost dizzy, his taste still in my mouth, tainting it all deliciously.  
  
I could soon tell that his strength was returning as his tongue began moving more roughly against mine and his lips started properly devouring mine.  
  
"You ready?" I asked managing to pull away, after gathering every ounce of will power to do so. One thing was for sure; the man knew how to kiss like a bloody demon.  
  
"'Ready'? What for?" he asked, his stunning blue eyes finally opening to look at me questioningly.  
  
"Oh, you know, for what you're gonna do to me as thank you; after all wasn't that better than having to wank yourself off?" I replied easily, my hands now running over his chest and untying his tie, before starting to undo a few buttons of his deep red shirt, revealing the silver chain he wore.  
  
"It was- there's no denying it- but I never agreed to a trade off here." God, why does he always have to be such a stubborn bastard?  
  
"Trust me, you'll enjoy this just as much," I said and ground down into him. "Plus, I can feel that you are indeed ready." And I could, grinding down again, his own hardness ready to meet mine. Pretty impressive how quickly he'd recovered.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?" he asked. Wait, what?! Did _he_ just ask _me_ what I wanted to do?!  
  
"This is pretty good," I replied, pleased that my surprise, and downright embarrassing pleasure that he'd actually asked what I wanted for a change, didn't show in my voice.  
  
"What, you just want to dry hump?" he asked raising one of his eyebrows as our eyes studied each other. "What are we, teenagers?"  
  
And Matthew Bellamy was back.  
  
"Yes, I do. And no, we're not- but hey, we could be for now." My voice sounded just as confident; I was definitely getting used to his douchebag routine and it didn't effect me as much anymore.  
  
His dark eyebrow stayed up, but a small (barely there, but I'd seen it!) smile ghosted his kiss-swollen lips.  
  
"Are we now?"  
  
"Yes," I purred and began grinding again, this time though his hips rose to meet mine.  
  
We quickly picked up a rhythm, the heat of our groins and the friction created by the thin fabric separating us, spurring us on. His hands pulled out my shirt from my trousers and slid up under it, his long fingers getting their feel of as much of my heated skin as they could. I just continued to explore his mouth properly with my tongue, my hands getting straight to the point, popping open as many buttons of his shirt as I could, so that I too could get a good feel of his heated skin.  
  
"Urghh, okay...maybe...you were...onto...something here..." he managed to rasp out, before my mouth captured his again.  
  
Our quickly worsening and less rhythmic grinding was one of the many signs that we were both close.  
  
"H-Howard, I don't know...if I'm so...keen to come in my...pants," Matthew said pulling out from our, very heavy, kissing, his hands having now slid into my back pockets to cup my arse.  
  
"Oh don't be such a spoilsport, this'll be more than worth it," I said and tried to snag back those delicious lips of his.  
  
"I still have to catch a cab or something home and with...well, interesting stains...it would be weird to say the least."  
  
"Fine, I can just drop you off, I brought my car today, luckily," I sighed, giving up on my pursuit.  
  
"You have a car?" Yip, not 'oh that would be amazing, thank you so much you beautiful man.' No, instead I was met with the shock that I- a fully grown man- actually had a car.  
  
"Yes. It's not the most flash, but it works. So are we gonna finish this or not?"  
  
He looked at me, his eyes seemingly gazing straight through me; considering it. Considering what this could possibly mean or lead to.  
  
I felt my heart rate- that had begun to slow down with the abrupt end to our activities- pick up again. Was I actually nervous about him turning down my offer? What did it really matter if he said yes or no anyway?  
  
It was silly, but I felt like he was about to agree or disagree to something a whole lot more than just a car lift home or whether we finished this to my dying relief.  
  
"Okay, but you better be a decent driver."  
  
I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me and a strange burning warmth fill me up. Were we really gonna make a proper thing of this now?  
  
I wasn't a moron, I knew this didn't mean a relationship, but did it mean this would properly become a regular 'thing'...  
  
"Oh, I'm the best driver, but by now I would've thought you'd know that already," I grinned, unable to properly hide my excitement as I picked up my grinding again.  
  
In reply he just rolled his eyes, but I caught that strange ghost of a smile again.  
  
  
                                        

                                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I woke up slowly, my eyes still closed as they still felt heavy.

I felt completely at ease. So relaxed and, for the first time in ages, I actually felt somewhat content and happy.

I snuggled my head deeper into my soft, warm pillow; its rising and falling motion completely soothing. Slowly I was beginning to fall back asleep once more...

_Wait. Rising? Falling?_

My eyes flew open, instantly forgetting about being heavy, and fell into the soft, grey gaze of another set of eyes, looking down at me.

"Morning, Sleepy-head."

I tried to pop up now too, but his firm embrace tightened around me.

"Oi, where you off too? It's Saturday, we don't have to get out of bed yet," Dominic said, smiling more brightly at my, no doubt still, surprised expression.

"Howard, what the fuck am I doing in your bed?!" I demanded, managing to break free from him and sit up properly.

"Don't you remember?" he asked, a small smile gracing his ridiculously soft looking lips. "You were exhausted last night, what with working so hard and then my little fun with you; you were passing out and my flat was way closer- so here we are."

"Wait, I agreed to stay here? In this house, in your bed, with you?!"

"Um...yes? Though you were a bit of a zombie at the time and I ended up practically dragging you up the stairs. I also only have one bed. Naturally you refused the sofa- even in your state- and I certainly wasn't about to not sleep in my own bed!"

I rolled my eyes, exasperated by the obnoxiously forward blonde before me. Looking down I could see he'd also taken the liberty of freeing me of all my clothing, even my fucking boxers!

"Why the fuck am I naked though?! Why the hell did you strip me- you're a pervert aren't you?!" I said, grabbing some more of the duvet to help cover myself up better.

"Um...your pants? Yeah well, they need a decent wash after...and you'd climbed into bed by the time I pulled out some of my clean ones to offer you, refusing point blank to budge," he said with a shrug, that stupid smile still on his lips. "And it's not like I haven't seen it all before! Plus _I_ am wearing boxers at least- so sorry to disappoint; not a pervert I'm afraid."

He got up then, realising that I definitely wasn't about to lie back down with him again, and, wearing only boxers like he'd said, sauntered over to his cupboard.

"You can borrow some now- unless of course you still aren't interested. Personally I'd prefer to see that gorgeous little arse of yours some more without anything..."

"Howard, just hand them over already," I stated firmly, not at all in the mood to play games, and stuck my hand out expectantly.

"Oh come on, Matthew! Why must you always be like this? Stop putting up a front, I get it; you feel hard done by in your situation, but come on, get over it and make the best of it!" he said tossing a new pair of bright yellow (I kid you not) boxers at me.

"Seriously, yellow?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, my nose curled in distaste, ignoring his statement.

"Yes. Don't like it, then wear your soiled ones or nothing," he said, stalking off out the room in an annoyed huff.

Jeez, what a damned drama queen.

With a deep sigh of defeat, I quickly hopped into the offensive item of clothing and headed after him. My stomach having reminded me of its presence with a loud growl of hunger.

"So, you got anything to eat around here or not?" I asked, having followed him into the small kitchen.

"Depends," he said, turning to look at me after he'd turned on the kettle. "You gonna start being nicer?"

"'Nicer'? I don't know the meaning," I said with a slight scoff, but could feel a sneaky smile building on my face.

"Well then, maybe I should show you..." Dominic said, pushing off the counter he'd been leaning on, and walked up to me.

Without another descent thought of what else to do, I just stood, rooted to the spot and let him reach me, closing the distance with only a couple small steps.

"You may be rather a bit of an arsehole, Matthew, but thankfully for me, you're also a fucking brilliant kisser."

I tried to think of a quick come back to that. Something mean and witty. Anything; but nothing came. All that did come to me, were those soft, full lips of his, followed by the slide of his warm tongue into my mouth.

The whole thing; hooking up with Dominic, in the past and in my office, had been a bad idea, but this- staying over at his and being showered with morning heavy kisses? This was a disastrous idea. I mean how could this possibly ever work out well?

I knew I should push him away and get him to give me a lift to the safety of my own home, but those kisses were just too sweet and addictive.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't missed this, this close warmth. Someone to have to hold and kiss- even if it was just one of Sky News' stupid, flashy anchors: idiot show-off that he is.

"See? You can be nice when you try," he said, finally pulling out, and looked deep into my eyes.

"Oh really?" I asked. _Nice?_ I don't think so.

"Yes, ve-" but I cut him off, shoving him hard into the kitchen door and brought my lips crashing to his once more. All previous thoughts of hunger abandoned.

"Let me show you just how 'nice' I can be," I growled and, without another word, yanked his boxers down and gripped him; causing a small yelp to resonate through the kitchen from him.

"Whoa, look who's no longer upset about being here," he said with a laugh as I began to start stroking.

"Well..." I said, biting on my lower lip as I took in the way his jaw was beginning to slacken. "While I'm here, I might as well make the best of it."

With that I was pushing him out the kitchen and back into his small bedroom, not letting go of his rapidly hardening cock the whole time.

"Oh God, I love this," he groaned as I shoved him down onto the, still unmade, bed.

"What, you like it a little rough?" I asked, managing to break my grip so I could pull off my own (completely horrendous) boxers, before I spat into my palm so I could return to business. He just groaned in reply when my hand returned to roughly jerking him.

"Do you? Do you like it rough?" I demanded, now straddling his bare hips and leaning in, my teeth seeking out his sensitive earlobe and my hand letting him go.

"God, just give it to me already!" he gasped, blindly reaching for my hand to return, while his lips stretched out to find my skin.

"You sure about that?" I asked, tauntingly holding my hand just out of his reach.

"YES!!" he groaned, no longer in any mood for joking around.

"Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you," I said, but he'd already managed to reach my hand and, with his own over it, put it back to work.

"Shut up already and show me what you've got," he rasped as he let go and now gripped my own, rather neglected feeling, cock. His touch sent warm shivers up my spine and my hips began to follow his lead.

Done playing, I gripped his chin roughly with my free hand and smashed our lips together. My tongue making quick work of him, and already running along over every inch of his smooth, warm mouth. Devouring all his responsive groans, as I began to work him harder.

Just as I could feel him starting to lose control, I flipped him.

"Wh-what you doing?" he asked, confused and muffled by the mattress.

"What do you think?" I replied, my voice coming out gruffer now, the lack of his contact making my cock twitch with frustration.

"Oh... Top drawer on the right side of the bed," was his simple reply, and I leaned over him to hunt out the necessary supplies.

I saw him strain his head back so he could get a better look at what I was doing. I just shot him a sinister little grin, before ripping open the condom wrapper with my teeth.

He was completely captivated, his eyes firmly focused on me as I rolled the condom on. Their usual grey-ish colour, now darkened deeply with lust.

"Hurry up," he demanded as I squirted out some lube onto my fingers.

"Well, well, well, look who loses all their sweet kindness when they're all horny and dying to be fucked."

He was about to say something in reply, but quickly stopped as I began fucking him, first with one finger, before adding a second and then third.

"Whoa, a...little...quick there," he said, with a strange mixture of a gasp and pant.

"Not even close," was all I said in reply. My free hand then grabbed a chunk of his hair and I wrenched his head back, so that my mouth could gain access to his once more. I sucked his tongue into my mouth, enjoying the noises that followed the action. "Let's kick it up a notch," I said pulling away briefly, before returning to give his full bottom lip a good chew.

"Argghhh." His hands were now in my hair, trying to get as good a grip as I had on him. "I'm definitely ready, what's taking you?"

I pulled my fingers out and slapped his arse in reply. Cheeky bastard.

I then shoved his legs further apart and in one quick, fluid motion, was pushing up into his slicked and stretched entrance.

Instead of easing in slowly, I went straight for the kill, thrusting in deep and hard from the beginning. Muffling his cries with my mouth over his, the hand that wasn't pulling his head back, was holding him down and in place as he wriggled beneath me.

As I picked up a good, steady rhythm, the cries turned from discomfort (to say the least) to deep, guttural groans of pleasure. Our bodies, now both covered in a thin sheen of sweat, moved easily against each other and no longer happy just to kiss him anymore; I yanked his head back even more and away from mine.

"Huuu?" he whined, but was soon at my mercy once more. I scraped my teeth up along his jawline and down his throat. My teeth grating against his light stubble in the most delicious of ways. My mouth then started sucking and licking, leaving a trail of marks on his skin. When I reached his Adam's apple I ran my teeth along it, before sucking down hard on it- loving the way it trembled under me as he started becoming even more vocal.

"Fuck, Matt, that's just...urghhhh..." his arse pushed back more onto me as his hips rose off the bed.

I let go of his hair, letting his head drop forward, and started having my way with the warm tanned skin of his shoulders and back, continuing with proper bites now as my hips began to pick up the speed, snapping faster now. The impossibly tight, warm feeling of his muscles gripping and pulling on me just spurred me on.

"Fuck, you're like an animal," he gasped, as I bit down on his shoulder, sucking the skin until the blood vessels popped, leaving my mark on the previously spotless, tanned expanse.

"You know you like it," I whispered into his ear, before pulling his head back with a good chunk of hair again, so I could attack his juicy throat some more.

"God do I," he groaned, surrendering completely. "But I'd love to get a taste of you too..."

"Well, if you're a good boy," I drawled, before he reached back and pulled me into yet another mind-blowing kiss, effectively silencing me for now; our tongues and my snapping hips left to do all the communicating.


	10. Chapter 10

"Jesus, Dom, you look like you've been through the wars!" Jess said as I rushed into the main office- late for work.  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked, still breathless from my sprint up the stairs (of all the days for the elevator to need repairs!), and tried to smooth down my tie.  
  
"Dom, are you kidding? Just look at your neck for starters- yes I did actually get a look before you covered it up! And your face; is that stubble burn?!"  
  
Shit. Why did Jess have to be so damn observant.  
  
"...plus I think your lip's a bit swollen...Make-Up are gonna go berserk!" she laughed some more, as I tried to hush her.  
  
"Shhh, dammit, Jess, keep it down," I said as she dragged me off to her small side office which was right next door to my- equally small- one. "I don't look that bad, surely, though...do I?"  
  
"Dom...you look...well, happy as hell, but otherwise? You look exhausted," she said, reaching a hand out and squeezing my shoulder. "You're also walking like a complete freak..."  
  
I just shrugged, blushing despite my best efforts, in response.  
  
"Oh my God, you obviously got laid all weekend long, didn't you?! It's soooo obvious!!" she practically squealed, causing me to look past her out the door to make sure no one else had heard.  
  
"Maybe..." I replied, blushing deeper, after being satisfied that no one was listening in.  
  
"Who was it?! Do I know him?!"  
  
"Well..." Pinker still.  
  
"No shit. It was Matthew again wasn't it?!"  
  
"Could be-"  
  
"Seriously?! OH MY GOD!!" She looked like a little kid that had just been told Christmas was moving to an earlier date. "Dom, spill!! When was this and what was it like? God, it must've been seriously crazy, judging by the state of you!"  
  
"Well...it kinda started Friday night, when I walked in on him after hours and he was busy jerking himself off and-"  
  
"Wait, come again? Did you just say Matthew Bellamy- MATTHEW BRELLAMY- was wanking in his office?!" she interrupted, her face now positively breaking open in a giant grin.  
  
"Yes...so anyway-"  
  
"How am I ever going to look at him the same again?!" she interrupted again in uncontrollable giggles. "Or ever go into his office again, without breaking out into a giggle fit?!"  
  
I waited patiently for her giggling to die down before I told her everything, reluctantly (oh, who am I even trying to fool) giving details when she demanded more.  
  
"...so yeah, I spent the whole of yesterday trying to sleep off the fuck marathon that my Saturday turned into, and ended up over-sleeping this morning. Thing is, I'm really feeling the after effects now..."  
  
"Oh Dommy! Wow, I still can't believe it!" she exclaimed, and before I could stop her, she was popping open the top buttons of my shirt to get a better look at my mark covered skin. "But my, does the bloke like to taste you; you're fucking covered! They don't seem to even stop..." I managed then to bat away her hands as they continued undoing more and more buttons, following the trail of marks. "How far do they go?" She raised an eyebrow, eyes scanning along the trail.  
  
"Yes. As far as you think," was my simple reply as I began the task of doing up my shirt, her explorations having been put to an end.  
  
"Huh, so he must be quite a descent shag then, no?" she asked, smiling cunningly at me, a mischievous glint in her pretty eyes.  
  
"You have no idea." Just thinking about it got a responsive twitch from my cock. Though then I felt the ache in my arse twitch too; instantly calming me down.  
  
"And what, so he doesn't mind, you don't mind? And...? Is this a thing now or what?" So many questions Jess!  
  
I don't even know exactly what's going on myself, heck, I doubt Matthew does either. So I decided to just go with a shrug.  
  
"You think there'll be any repeats?"  
  
God I hope so.  
  
"Um...I don't really know...but he did leave his boxers at mine- though they desperately needed a wash after Friday- so who knows? He'll have to come over if he wants them."  
  
"Ooh, I see what you're doing there. Taking control of the situation- hostage negotiation- I like, and by what you've told me about Matthew; the little freak'll just love it too..."  
  
"Oh, I'm hoping so," I replied, unable to hold back the smile creeping onto my face.  
  
"Though, Dom, I hope you're not getting too attached...the guy's an arse, there's no better way of saying it. No matter how cute he may be- don't get too invested, please. I don't wanna see you getting hurt," she said, suddenly serious.  
  
"Relax Jess, it's no big deal. I'm cool with it. If it continues, it means I get a regular shag to help with the stress- all the benefits without the hassle of a boyfriend." She just laughed and shook her head, the strange serious edge, that had developed, dying down.  
  
"So tell me again; what was his-"  
  
"Howard! You can't just come in late and then hide out in your little girlfriend's office- you're supposed to be at work: working. Hence why it's called work, or is that too hard for you to get?!"  
  
Our heads instantly snapped to look at the intruder in shock, both our faces the colour of beetroot. Thank God Jess hadn't finished what she was about to say. Especially as Matthew wasn't looking especially pleased with us as it was. Just great.  
  
"Um, uh, I was- was, uh, just..." I was unable to speak any sense. Just seeing him there, leaning, just inside the office, against the door, his slim body stretched out. The same slim body I'd had naked and before me not too long ago...  
  
He looked so fresh, not at all tired and worn out like me. He was positively glowing; his shirt, tie and- deliciously fitting- trousers all neat and tidy.  
  
I just wanted to cross the short distance between us and mess it all up, devouring every inch of him as I made him messy and dirty like I'd had him in the weekend. I wanted to run my hands through that soft, dark hair and scrape my fingers down the silky flesh of his back again. I wanted to taste his tongue in my mouth. Taste those dark nipples of his. Taste his great, big-  
  
"HOWARD?! Have you gone brain dead or something?!" Matthew demanded, snapping me out of my quickly darkening thoughts.  
  
"Hmm?" I asked.  
  
I swear his blue eyes were trying to incinerate me on the spot. He looked so pissed off.  
  
"Um, Dom's just tired. Maybe you should give him a break, yeah? He'll do all the work soon, no need to worry," Jess said, stepping into the rescue. Her words holding a very strong underlying message I wasn't sure I appreciated that much.  
  
"Um, it's fine, I'll get straight on it. Sorry I zoned out there for a bit," I managed to say, finally starting to sound like a normal person again. Then of course I had to go and yawn loudly.  
  
"Best you hop to it then, we don't pay you to sleep. You too Jessica, enough gossiping." He then shot me a pointed glance. It was brief, but I'd caught it.  
  
So what if I'd told Jess, she wasn't gonna let out his big 'secret' and I deserved to be able to talk about it with someone, and who else? He certainly wasn't interested. When he'd been at mine and I'd tried broatching the subject, he'd just silence me with a breathtaking kiss or straight out changed the topic.  
  
"Will do," Jess replied and went to sit in her seat, as he- after giving me one last stern look- left us again.  
  
"Jezz Dom, tell your boyfriend to cool it down a bit. He doesn't always have to be a complete douche."  
  
 _'Boyfriend.'  
  
I wish._  
  
  
                                                                                                     ***  
  
  
Nearly a week had gone by, yet Matthew hadn't approached me again and every time I was in the same room as him he'd just ignore me or give me more work, or lecture me on my last broadcast.  
  
It was torture, seeing him- just there, right in front of me- and not being able to do anything about it. There were always people around. And besides I still had no idea where I stood in this 'thing' that we'd started.  
  
The worst was when we'd have meetings and he lead them, pacing about in that restless way of his, shooting down most of our proposals or dishing out a very seldom- and not always so warm- acceptance of an idea. I had nowhere else to look, but at him.  
  
Even when he tore apart my suggestions- something that seemed to happen more to me than the others I'm sure- I was still left lusting after him. Gazing at those lovely tailor fitted pants of his, that hugged his arse in just the right way, dwelling on certain memories. Looking at the way those long fingers raked through his dark hair or, worse still, when he'd turn his back to us and point at something on the projector, his slim frame stretched out in front of me, my mind could only go south.  
  
I liked to think it was just for me, picturing him turning briefly to-  
  
"HOWARD?! My office NOW!"  
  
"Looks like your master's calling," Chris laughed as I shook my head, coming back down to Earth.  
  
"Argh, I swear you really are like his bitch or something," Tom added in agreement.  
  
"Well I guess I should go," I said, doing my best to sound reluctant. In actual fact I was hoping that this meant something promising- I mean Matt wanted to speak to me, alone!  
  
"Probably, can't believe the little twat can just summon us like that. I mean we've worked here much longer, he just used to prance about reporting, and what? Now he runs the place here?" Tom grumbled, rolling his eyes as I neatened my tie.  
  
"His dad is one of the big bosses, he has connections. He's also- and you know I hate to admit it- a pretty decent producer, once you get past the fact he's a knob," Chris said, still leaning out of his office window to smoke his pipe.  
  
"Howard, before Christmas would be nice!!"  
  
"Complete knob," Tom agreed, and I just laughed.  
  
"Well, wish me luck," I called as I left Chris' office and went off to Matthew's.  
  
As I was walking I couldn't deny that a part of me curled inside with excitement. Who knows, maybe he wanted to try have a quickie in his office? The blinds were down... We'd just have to try and be quite. God, I was dying to taste those thin lips again, feel that delicious ache...  
  
When I eventually was safe inside his office, the door closed behind me, I turned to see that he was still sitting behind his desk. I briefly wondered why he wasn't already standing, but quite frankly if he wanted me to do all the work I wasn't complaining...  
  
"Sit."  
  
 _Okaaay,_ so maybe I wasn't going to do all the work?  
  
"You wanted to see me?" I asked, doing my best not to smile. His light-blue shirt brought out his beautiful eyes in the most stunning of ways.  
  
"Yes. It's about your tardiness."  
  
Tardiness? Oh, was I supposed to make the first move this time after all? I liked how he'd put the whole 'I'm your boss' spin to it though. Role-play, brilliant.  
  
"Oh, uh, I don't know what you-"  
  
"It's completely unacceptable and unprofessional. As for that hair of yours? You have to get it cut, you get broadcast on live television to homes all over the world, reporting on the latest events shaping our world; it simply won't do to have you look like complete riff-raff. You should..."  
  
It just continued. Insult after insult. All my wrongs and flaws being pointed out. He wasn't playing either, his tone and face were dead serious.  
  
"...I trust you will start sorting this all out and begin acting like the professional you ought to be. The one that we pay, else we might have to reconsider our contract with you..."  
  
  
When I eventually did manage to leave his office, it was with my mouth still open in shock. Disappointment biting at my insides. All the previous excitement and promise died down.  
  
It was stupid of me to think anything would come of this all. Even just a simple 'fuck buddy' status was reaching too far. Clearly he'd had all he'd wanted from me.  
  
I went about the rest of my day in a dead and mechanical way, batting away my friends words of concern, desperate for the day to just end. I even missed my smoke breaks, choosing rather to hide in my tiny office, afraid to go out and run into Matthew again. It was ridiculous, but at last all his harsh words had finally gotten to me, and I was afraid of how I'd react if he dealt out even more. I'd never live down bursting into tears at work...  
  
I felt wretched and stupid. Why was this affecting me so much?! This sort of thing never had in the past, and I'd known he was a complete arsehole all along. Yet still, his ignoring me and then finally tearing me apart had been too much. And just when I'd thought I'd begun to break through to him too...  
  
My office sulk had to come to an end however, when my treacherous body had decided it was time for me to take a leak.  
  
Cursing, I tried to slip past, seeing Matthew on the other side of the big office shouting at one of the new editors.  
  
 _Good, at least he was distracted._  
  
Quickly I made a dash for it and was pleased to make it to the completely deserted bathroom, without alerting any unwanted attention.  
  
A satisfying piss later; I was just busy washing my hands when I heard the door behind me open. I reached for one of the paper towels and dried my hands, choosing to ignore the newcomer, I was in no mood to talk to anyone.  
  
I was about to turn around and head for the door, when I felt two arms wrap around my waist and spin me to face the mirror.  
  
My heart practically leapt out of my chest with fright and confusion, but when I was facing the mirror I looked back into two startlingly blue eyes, that were sparkling mischievously with a rapidly darkening edge.  
  
"M-Ma-Matthew?!" I asked as he began kissing along my jaw line, hands travelling to undo my belt.  
  
"Hmm?" he asked, managing to undo the buckle.  
  
"Wh-what are you doing?!" I managed, frozen in place as I watched him in the mirror.  
  
"What's it look like?" he asked and I saw him roll those blue eyes of his.  
  
I wanted to push him back. Wanted to scream and shout at him, demand to know what the fuck was wrong with him, or even just point out the fact that anyone could walk in here. What the hell was he playing at?!  
  
Instead I found my left hand starting to loosen up my tie, the right pulling on his, bringing his face up closer to mine as I turned to face him. His hands slipped up to help my left, undoing my top buttons, just so that his mouth could replace them in kissing down my throat.  
  
"I see you still have the marks," he practically purred, before I felt him lick a long line up my chest, stopping to suck on my Adam's apple. "Wanna see some of mine?" He then pulled away, pushing my hand away from his tie, so that he could loosen it and undo most of his shirt buttons.  
  
Sure enough, there were still marks, somewhat faded by now, but still prominent against the rest of his pale skin, his silver chain shimmering in the bathroom's lighting.  
  
"Every time I take my shirt off I think of you, your mouth, hot and wet against my skin," he said almost moaning. I was completely stunned. Where had all this come from? His personality completely flipping on me was terribly confusing and I ended up just gaping back at him.  
  
He just laughed, before he pushed me back into one of the nearby stalls, the look on his face just screaming sin.  
  
"Turn around," he said as he shut the stall door behind us.  
  
"But, what? What about-"  
  
"Hush." And with that he spun me around himself, my body leant over the toilet. Next I heard the unmistakable sound of his own belt being undone, followed by that of his, now unzipped, fly. "Drop your trousers." This time came the sound of what I realised was him ripping open a condom and putting it on.  
  
Without a further thought I complied. Despite the way he'd been treating me and now this sudden flip; I still let him get what he wanted. After all it was still painfully obvious to me that it was what I wanted too.  
  
 _Dominic, you're such a whore for a man in control with a gorgeous dick and the knowledge of just how best to use it. Shameful._  
  
In no time at all he'd stuck his fingers in my mouth, before pulling them out and sticking them somewhere else. One at a time. making my job of trying to not make too much noise very difficult. After three he decided I was ready; the sound of him spitting into his palm as good as any indication.  
  
"Spread your legs more, Howard," he grunted and I could feel one of his feet kick my legs further apart.  
  
"It's Dom," I tried. "Just call me Do-" but I was cut off by the sudden ache and then resulting pleasure of him filling me. "Oh God!"  
  
He just let out a low, throaty chuckle, his mouth right by my ear as he immediately began to pick up a pace of thrusting. In and out, then twisting his hips in a way that made my legs give out, his arms and the toilet flusher all that was supporting me. To think that that first time, without proper lube in his office, had scared me to death, yet here I was eagerly melting away without a care...  
  
I was doing my best not to make a noise, but it was so damn hard, and then when his right hand snuck round and grabbed hold of my cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, I was done. Small groans and moans just escaped, mixing with his heavy breathing.  
  
"Shhh," he grunted and his hand, much to my protest, left my aching cock, to instead cover my mouth. "We can't have you drawing any attention." I continued to whimper into his hand in protest, so he started to gnaw on my earlobe, sucking and nipping in the most amazing way that I almost forgot my abandoned dick. Almost.  
  
In no time I could feel his body begin to shudder as he teetered over the edge; this of course triggered me to finally come, biting hard into his hand to stop from screaming the way I wanted to.  
  
"Fuck," he moaned, as quietly as I supposed was possible, before he followed my lead.  
  
  
After we'd managed to catch our breath, he tossed me a wad of toilet paper (maybe there was hope for him yet!) to wipe myself clean; as well as the wall that had caught some of my release.  
  
"So, should we make this a regular thing then?" he casually asked as he was doing up his fly.  
  
I nearly dropped the toilet paper I was using. Had I honestly just heard him right, was he actually asking if we should officially make our fucking regular? Had he actually realised, at last, that he was just as keen about all this as I was?  
  
"Um, yeah, sure. Why not?" I replied, doing my absolute best to sound as casual about it as he was.  
  
"Alright then," he nodded, fixing his tie up as I flushed the toilet paper, but I couldn't help but notice a slight smile gracing the thin lips on his still flushed face. "We should get back to work now, don't take too long," he warned and with that left the stall. As I fixed up my own clothing, I could hear the taps turn on as he cleaned up, before the sound of the bathroom door shutting sounded, just as I left the cubicle.  
  
Regular fucks for sure now. Shaging Matthew Bellamy on a consistent basis...I couldn't help but grin at my reflection as I washed my own hands.


	11. Chapter 11

"Wow, fuck, I don't think I'll be able to walk after that," Dominic said panting, trying desperately to catch his breath.  
  
"Good. Means I've done my job right," I replied, my eyes closed and voice gruff and breathless as I lay on my back, chest still rapidly rising and falling.  
  
Much against my best interests I'd given in to Dominic's request to start taking this back to his apartment, after one storeroom cupboard fuck too many. He'd wanted to "be able to scream as much as I want." So here we were, a couple consecutive fucks later and out of breath, sprawled out on his bed; something we'd started making a habit of the past couple weeks or so.  
  
"And boy did you," he sighed and suddenly I could feel his fingers caressing up along my side.  
  
I opened an eye suspiciously, to find him propped up on his right elbow, his left hand dancing over my skin and his gaze far and distant, but clinging to my clammy skin.  
  
Finally noticing he was being watched he halted his movements, cheeks flushing pink. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself...you're skin is just so smooth and silky," he apologised shyly, removing his hand as he'd become even pinker.  
  
"No don't, don't stop. Please," I said, suddenly stopping his hand's retreat with my own, shocking us both.  
  
 _Whoa, Bellamy, get a hold of yourself._  
  
"Um, okay," he said, a small smile playing on his lips as he went back to tickling my skin, but this time was more bold in his actions. The cheeky bastard beginning to shift over and his lips joining his fingers in his explorations.  
  
"Howard, what are you-" I began, but was cut off when I felt his tongue dart out and curl into the hair under my left arm, which was bent up as a pillow for my head, leaving the sensitive area exposed to him. "Oh, God," I mewled unable to stop myself as he lapped away, the breaths coming out of his nose tingling the dampened skin.  
  
"Mmm, you taste so good here, like sex- all salty and divine- and your scent? Fuck, so hot, manly and sexy and...mmmm," he drawled, now nuzzling the hollow and making me squirm. Shit, it felt nice and I was beyond controlling myself, the sensation too good to make him stop and my body too tired to even bother. I was just left a wriggling, mewling mess at his mercy. Fuck, but had he found my weak spot.  
  
"Mmm, I can tell you like this," he said grinning and the next thing I felt was his fingers curling around my already hardening dick. "That's what I love about you, you recover so quickly, always ready for more..." he continued and began to languidly tug the stiffening flesh.  
  
I wasn't used to this, I was always the one that took control, but with him back to lapping and sucking away at my sweet spot and his hand expertly jerking me off, increasing in vigour, I chose to give him the honour. For now. Heck, I was jelly to begin with and now he was rapidly turning me into a puddle of moaning pleasure.  
  
"Ungh, ah-ahhh, okay, wow. Whoa, watch it there- oh shit yes..." I babbled as I could feel that tight curl in the base of my spine winding up, my back arching and fiery warmth building up in my groin. I'd already given up on trying to keep my eyes open, deciding to just given into the sensations. My mouth gaping open as the muscles in my face were also too blissed out to function properly.  
  
"Come for me, Matthew, I can feel your body wants to. Open those beautiful blue eyes and let me look into them when you come spurting into my fist," he said, his voice all husky as he tried to coax my response.  
  
"Excuse me?" I managed, heavy eyes barely able to glare up at him, as I tried to sit up. In the time since I'd closed them, he'd shifted again and was now leaning over me, his head having just lifted from my armpit. "What gave you the idea you could tell me what to do? I'll come when I bloody well wa- FUUUUCK!!"  
  
But my weak reprimanding was cut off when he gave me one last strong tug and ran his thumb through my slit. That was all it took, as embarrassing as it was, mid rant I lost control and spasmed as I came hard and hot, covering both his hand and myself with my own cum. I felt my eyes roll back as I collapsed back down onto the pillows, fully spent and absolutely knackered.  
  
"See, I told you your body was ready," he chuckled softly to himself and peppered my heated face with kisses, my eyes fluttering closed with exhaustion. I felt mortified that my body had just given in so quickly without my say, but then I'd already been so finished to start with...  
  
...a few moments later my eyes opened a bit at the sensation of a warm, damp cloth being wiped over my stomach. Dominic smiled down at me and kissed the newly cleaned skin, swirling his tongue briefly in my bellybutton. Before I could react however, sleep took hold of me and I yawned instead and shut my eyes...  
  
...I eventually woke to the sounds of someone typing away on a keyboard, and sure enough when I opened my eyes I found myself looking straight at Dominic, who had pulled on some sweatpants at some point and was sat over his laptop, next to me on the bed.  
  
"Howard, what're you doing?" I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep, as I rubbed at my eyes. The blonde had even gone to the trouble of tucking me in, under the covers.  
  
"Well hello there," he grinned looking back at me. "I'm just quickly finishing off my proposal for a story on- never mind you'll see soon enough."  
  
Yawning I nodded in response and sat up, my body still jelly-like, as I tried to get up.  
  
"What's with the hurry?" he asked, setting his laptop aside. "You can feel free to stay the night, I was thinking I'd make us some pasta or something for dinner?"  
  
Still yawning away, I stood up and stretched, not giving a shit that I was still completely naked. He could feel free to enjoy the show, I thought as I gave him a good view of my arse in an upward stretch.  
  
"I have somewhere to be this evening, what's the time anyway?" I asked, scratching my stomach. When I didn't get an immediate response I turned to see that he was indeed devouring my body with his eyes. With a deep sigh I rolled my eyes, "Howard?"  
  
"Um, uh, sorry. It's..." he said snapping out of it and leaned over to check on his phone, while I went to find my boxers and various other items of clothing. "It's just gone seven."  
  
"Shit," I swore, pulling on the located pants and grabbed for my trousers. "I'm running late."  
  
"For what?" he asked curiously, sitting on the end of his bed and watching as I did up my trousers.  
  
"Nothing of your concern, don't worry about it," I replied, snatching my shirt which he now offered to me.  
  
"Oh, okay..." was his reply. Was it just me or did he sound disappointed that I was leaving? Whatever, I don't have time to worry about his clingy little feelings.  
  
"You just gonna go in that?" he asked as I began to button up my powder-blue shirt.  
  
"Of course not, I'll stop home on the way to shower and change," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Now where the fuck are my shoes?"  
  
"Here," he said, getting up and walked out the room. "You took them off in the entrance hall."  
  
With a sigh of annoyance I went over to retrieve them from him and promptly began to put them on, after he'd handed over my socks.  
  
"So..." he started, his voice trailing off like he wanted to say something, but couldn't bring himself to say it.  
  
"Yes?" I asked, doing up my right shoelace. "What is it?"  
  
"Um, uh, nothing major...I just...I wanted to say I had a great time this afternoon," he said, his hand awkwardly brushing through his blonde hair. I just looked up at him as I stood up, now fully dressed.  
  
"Okay then," was all I could bring myself to say. "Perhaps you were right," I managed to add though.  
  
"About?" a pitifully hopeful look brightening his eyes, he perked up considerably as I grabbed my laptop case, with all my work in it, and my jacket.  
  
"About taking it back here, it's better now not having to worry about being too loud or the fact that someone could catch us any minute. The past few fucks have been pretty good," I replied with a shrug, as we went over to his front door. "Anyways..." I said, as we stood awkwardly, me waiting for him to let me out and he...well Lord alone knew.  
  
Finally getting the picture, the moron hopped to it. "Shit, sorry, here," he said unlocking the door and opening it.  
  
"Well, see you at work then," I said and stepped out, but not before I saw him sway awkwardly toward me, only just managing to recompose himself.  
  
Weird, was he actually expecting a goodbye kiss or something equally as ridiculous?  
  
"Oh, um, uh, yes. See you, see you there, Matt," he said smiling, clearly proud he'd taken charge and used the shortened form of my name.  
  
 _God, what have I gotten myself involved with?_  
  
I was about to walk away, but couldn't help but call out behind myself as I did leave, "Oh and, Howard?"  
  
"Yes?" he asked, but I didn't bother to turn and see.  
  
"Please, can you get that fucking hair sorted out and arrive on time for once?"  
  
                                                                

                                     ***

"Have I mentioned how handsome you are?" Caitlin asked, leaning over the table to run her manicured fingers over my hand, which was curled around my glass of merlot. "At first when Father said he'd planned a date for me with one of his friends' sons, I'd had my doubts, but look at you, those eyes...I'm also definitely having a lovely evening after all..."

After I'd left Dominic's, I'd rushed home and had that shower and had only arrived a few minutes late in the end to the 'date' my father had set up for me.

Convinced a pretty girlfriend was all I needed to cheer me up to the idea of having to be stuck in London, Dad had arranged a date for me with a wealthy connection of his' daughter. Caitlin was definitely pretty enough, long auburn hair, longer, tanned legs and a rack that most woman would pay millions for, but truth be told I wasn't very interested. The same however couldn't exactly be said for her, as I felt her foot rub up along the inside of my leg.

"Um, no, but thank you. I guess," I said, pulling my hand, and glass, away.

"I mean it," she grinned, fluttering her long lashes, her foot moving dangerously close to the crotch of my pants as she rubbed my inner thigh.

"Oh, I'm sure you do," I said, managing to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I couldn't upset this girl, her father was an important connection to mine. Then again...why shouldn't I? My father would certainly deserve the loss after what he's done to me. I'd simply be returning the favour.

She just giggled in response, "Oh, Matthew, you're so funny." I sadly chose this moment to take a sip of my wine, only to nearly spill it all over myself and the table as she finally decided to just shoot and massage my crotch with her toes.

"C-Caitlin!" I yelped as she applied firm pressure and rubbed in circles. My treacherous body eagerly responding and springing to life.

"Oooh, I'll bet your big," she grinned slyly, unashamedly continuing with her assault. "What do you say we ask for the bill and make this date _really_ worth our while?"

"Excuse me?" I managed, putting the glass down.

"Oh, Matthew, don't even pretend. I know about you, I've heard the stories...and anyway I can already *feel* you want to..." the little vixen said, biting her bottom lip as she rubbed down extra hard to prove her point and what we both already knew. I was rapidly getting hard.

"Well then," I began, sitting up a bit straighter and grabbed her foot under the table. If she wanted a good fuck, I'd give it to her. "If you think you're up to it," and with that I pushed her foot firmly against the hardening bulge in my trousers. I swear she practically squealed with excitement as she stuck her arm high in the air to call for the bill. "What are we waiting for?"

Women.

But then why not? I could do with a bit of variety, lately I'd only been fucking Dominic, which as great as his arse is, is a bit stupid. I could have so much more fun. Plus I could tell he was getting the wrong idea about it all, the last thing I needed now was for my own body to join on board with him and think that whatever is going on between us is more than just the convenient shag every now and again.

'Cause that's all it is. What Dominic and I have been doing. He's just a piece of arse for me to fuck when the need calls.

 

                                                                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Dom? Oi, Dom! Earth to Dominic?!" Jess said, snapping me out of my brief shut-eye.

"Ummhmph?" I said, sitting bolt upright.

"Oh, Dommy," she smiled shaking her head. "What have you been up to that's finished you so?"

We were busy taking a break and eating chinese take-out. I'd gone over to hers so we could both wrap up a new story we were to do tomorrow's prime time, but I was completely knackered. After having spent the better part of yesterday tangled up in bed with Matthew, followed up by a sleepless night of trying to finish the article I'd put aside so I could fool around with him.

"Oh, just work," I tried (hey it wasn't a complete lie), but my blushing cheeks gave me away.

"Are you and Matthew still going at it?" she asked, her eyebrows rising.

"Um, yeah...why do you look so surprised? I thought we'd already established this..." I said looking back at her, setting aside the chinese take-out box I'd been eating from.

"Well..." she began, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Yes?" I asked, sitting up straighter.

"It's just that, well, I saw him last night," she said putting her own box down.

"Yes, and...?" I asked, my voice getting impatient with her sudden reluctance. There had to be a reason for her bringing it up, so why couldn't she spit it out already?

"Um, that's just it...I was out with Kevin- as it was date night, being Friday and all- and well, at first I didn't think it was him, but then the slag he was with finally stopped eating his face and...well it was him."

My heart suddenly slowed painfully, surely I hadn't heard her right?

"Come again?" I asked, and even I could hear the squeak my voice emitted.

"Matthew; I saw him swapping saliva with some tart outside this fancy Italian place Kevin took me to."

"Really?" I asked, still not believing it. "You sure it was him?"

"Um, positive. I'd recognise that slim frame and ever present attitude of his anywhere," she said, shifting around to her hand bag. "I even took a picture- much to Kevin's utter annoyance- so I could show you, but I'd thought you'd clearly finished having your fun and we could laugh about it..."

"Oh, um, uh...no, he was at mine just yesterday too..." I said feeling awkward. "Maybe it wasn't what you thought?"

"Um, sorry, Dom, but look," she said having found her phone and the picture and handing it over. "With his hand up her dress, I highly doubt it was anything innocent."

And sure enough it was unmistakably Matthew, his hand indeed disappearing up the leggy girl's dress, her own hands pulling at his thick dark hair. The same way mine had only hours before the picture must've been taken.

"But in public though?" I said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Exactly! The two couldn't even wait to get home it would appear, not very classy at all. I'd never be caught dead in that state waiting for a cab!" she scoffed, trying to pretend she couldn't see the hurt that was no doubt all over my face. Finding my continued silence unsettling, she just continued. "What my main question is, is where the hell does he find it in him? Spending the afternoon at your place- I take it that's why you two disappeared early- only to go traipsing about with some slapper later. No wonder you're so tired, the bloke must just keep going!"

"Yeah, he's insatiable alright," I said, braving a smile. She was only trying to fill the silence, I couldn't be mad at her, but bringing up something I'd actually playfully teased him about stung. The joke was on me...

"Oh, Dom...I warned you, he's a complete arsehole...but I'm sorry none the less," she said leaning over to hug me, only for me to bat her off.

"It's fine, really. I know he's an arsehole. It's not like we're really anything either, he has every right to shag whoever he wants. It's none of my business."

"Oh, Dom, but I can tell you're upset. It's okay, you know. To be upset," she said and this time I let her hold me close. "You can do so much better for yourself anyway."

"But what if he's what I want?" I asked, sniffing into her shoulder like a complete and utter baby.

"Dom, you're only gonna get even more hurt," she said handing over one of her napkins.

"I can't help it, Jess. I can't remember the last time I felt like this about someone..."

"Oh, Dom...Tom and Chris were right to be appalled: of all the guys," she exclaimed with a sigh. "But then the heart wants what it wants...Just look at me with Kevin. I've got a bit of an arsehole problem of my own; the douche takes me to this expensive place and then 'accidentally' realises he's left his wallet at home when it's time to pay..."

"He didn't!"

"Oh yes he did! I was so furious, the whole cab ride home I..."

And just like that we spoke about Kevin the douchebag, who thankfully was still at work, leaving us free to throw around his name and all his physical flaws, and I could be distracted from all thoughts of Matthew.

But when I eventually made it home, collapsing in bed and ready for the sleep I so desperately needed, my mind just tortured me with images of Matthew and that woman; haunting me and distorting my dreams...

                                                                                                        ***

"Oi, Howard, stop drooling on the proposal!" Matthew shouted, snapping his fingers in my face and startling me. "We don't pay you to sleep. Get back to work."

I wanted to shout at him or scream. This was all his fault. I hadn't managed to get any sleep this weekend, so obsessively fretting about him and why I was so upset about him hooking up with other people too. Yet here he was, back at work and acting the same as always, being a douche to me and the rest of them. I'd learnt to ignore it and rather zone out looking at his pretty eyes (or any other feature of his that came to mind), but this time it just wasn't working. My hurt at Jess' news still fresh in my mind.

Thankfully I managed to hold my tongue and the worst I got was the trademark roll of his crystal-blue's, before he left me to finish going over what I had to say when Jess and I went on.

"What a prick," Tom said coming to sit down next to me. "Just ignore him, Dom."

"Don't worry, Tom, I know to," I responded massaging my temples.

"But you look exhausted, mate. When was the last time you had a decent night's sleep?"

"I can honestly say I have no idea," I sighed. "Why don't we take a break? It's about lunch now anyway."

"Shit, that's not so good... Um, yeah, sounds like a plan. Will Jess be joining us?" he asked, his body language completely changing at the mention of her name.

"Uh, I'm sure if we ask her? Should go find Chris too..." I replied, looking at my friend quizzically. In the end we managed to round up the other two and were just heading out when Morgan, of all people, ran up to us.

"Oi, Howard, I thought Matthew told you you had to work," Morgan said stopping us at the doorway. "You're behind with that proposal." Fuck. I was exhausted and all I wanted was a strong coffee and something to eat to boost my energy.

"I'll do it after lunch," I said, after insisting the others go ahead so long.

"'fraid that's not an option. The board are here today and want to do a run through before we air, so it needs to be finished A.S.A.P." the smug look on his face as I stormed back to my pitiful office only set me off even more. I was livid. I fucking hated Matthew Bellamy. The life ruiner that he is.

As I sat back at my desk, hurriedly reading through the numerous papers on my desk, I heard my phone announce a text message. With a huge sigh of frustration I located the damned thing, only to find a text from my least favourite person at the moment.

_~So ur place 8pm?~_

It took everything in me not to throw the phone out the window, but I took a deep breath and went back to my work, only for another one to come in.

_~Unless you're not up to it~_

My first mistake was to think he meant it in the terms of being concerned for me. My mistake. For I looked up to see him standing at one of the desks facing my office's window. At first glance it appeared he was talking to the intern, but- as if he could sense my gaze- he looked up and smirked, before holding his phone up and pointing at it with a raised eyebrow and then typed something. It came through almost immediately.

_~And need some beauty rest~_

I looked up again to see he was pouting at me. Mocking me. I saw red and the phone saw the glass of the office's window. He just laughed at the spectacle though and returned to no doubt scaring the shit out of the intern.

Attempting to recover and just get back to work, I heard my phone actually ring now. I pounced on it.

"WHAT?!" I yelled down the line as soon as I'd hit green.

"Um, Dom?" Shit. It turned out just to be Jess checking where I was and why I hadn't joined them yet. Apologising profusely I explained myself to her and what had happened.

"Seriously?!" she asked, after having assured me she'd excused herself from the other two, to go to the bathrooms so we could talk. "Well that's definitely not the way for him to handle things, especially since you haven't been around each other since I saw him with that slag."

"Well he doesn't know that I know about that, but still. Argh, I'm furious! And the way he just assumes we should always use my place!" I bitched through the line, kicking my legs up on the desk. Fuck work.

"Well then, as an outsider the main problem I see, is that he's the one with all the say! You're just letting him get his way, you should have just as much say in...whatever it is that's going on between you two!" she said, sounding just as pissed off. God I loved her.

"But he's just like that, he always has to be in control! Sure that has its ups in the bedroom, but stuff like this? Argh, I could just hit him!" I complained, eyes glaring holes in my black leather shoes.

"Well, it's simple. You've got to show him he's not the only one in charge. Fuck him- as in don't let him fuck you- make him beg for it!"

"Whoa, who are you and what have you done with sweet Jessica?!" I asked laughing, my bad mood put on hold.

"Haha, sorry, it's just that I'm having similar issues with Kevin. He's a total control freak! But this isn't about me, back to your issue. Lemme see...so wait, you've never been to his place?"

"No, never," I replied only realising it now. We always went back to mine, that is if it wasn't just a quickie somewhere around the office building. "I've never even seen the outside of his house, I don't even know where he lives exactly, let alone what it looks like inside...I don't know if he's a neat freak or a messy pig..."

"Shit, Dom, really? But this little thing of yours has been going on for ages now," she replied, her voice reflecting my own feelings.

"I know, it's been regular for over a month now..." I said with a deep sigh.

"Well, that's it then isn't it? He's gotta invite you to his before you even vaguely consider continuing things, and that's completely ignoring the fact that he's still screwing people on the sidelines..." she said, her voice rich with disapproval.

"Yeah...well it's not like we're going steady or anything...but you're right. No more push over Dominic, he's gotta do something for me too and actually invite _me_ over," I agreed, sitting up straight and taking my shoes off the desk.

"Well I'm afraid I've got to go, Tom's knocking on the door to check if 'the toilet hasn't swallowed me up'..."

"Sure, have fun, Jess."

"Oh, I will. It sucks so much you couldn't come...you better give Matthew bat, he deserves blue balls for not letting you come to lunch!"

"Jess! What *has* gotten into you?!"

"Nothing, nothing. Now I've really got to love and leave you, Dommy. Remember though, don't give into that skinny little jerk! Stand your ground!"

"You're crazy!" I laughed and we bid each other goodbye once more before I put down the phone. She was right, I'd just go home as soon as I'm finished up.

 

And I did, as soon as I'd wrapped up, I popped in to Chris' office to wish him and Tom good evening and was surprised to find Jess there too. After our farewells for the evening, I headed straight for the elevator. It felt weird, but empowering. The past few weeks I'd always waited around for the others to leave and for Matthew to finally finish with his responsibilities, before I'd see if he wanted to go to mine or (on the particularly desperate nights) just fuck in the nearest office.

Tonight, I was going straight home, no waiting around. I was showing initiative and responsibility, I'm my own person after all. That's what I was running through my head when I made my way to the doors of the lift, only to hear the sound of footsteps catching up with me. I turned, only to see Matthew approaching, a confused look plastered on his face.

"Uh, where you going, Howard?" he asked, his voice full of uncertainty, as he reached me.

"Home, obviously," I replied, trying to keep stern. I couldn't let down Jess or- more importantly- myself.

"Oh, but I'm not finished yet. I have one more article to proof read..." he said, his blue eyes regarding me, filled with confusion.

"That's nice," I replied, attempting a nonchalant shrug. "I'm just gonna head home and make myself some dinner, see you tomorrow then I guess." Nice Dom!

"Um, but, what about-"

"Fucking? Yeah, I think you've fucked me over enough for one day, cheers," and with that I walked into the lift and the doors closed on his utterly shocked face.


	12. Chapter 12

  
"You don't look so good, mate," Morgan said, sure to keep a safe distance.  
  
"No shit, you don't say," I grumbled before following it up with a massive sneeze. "I feel fucking awful too."  
  
"Maybe it's just one of those 24 hour bugs?" he suggested with a shrug. "What were you up to yesterday and the day before?"  
  
"Um..." I began, thinking about it. Well after Dominic had practically told me to go fuck myself- but not in so many words- what _had_ I done... "Shit, Caitlin."  
  
 _"Matthew, I think...I think I need to-to...snee-sneeze," Caitlin said, after suddenly pulling her full-red lips off my pulsing cock._  
  
"Seriously? Now?!" I asked, so close to coming, my toes were even curling.  
  
"I-I can't, can't help...it- ah-ah-achoooo!!" she gasped before a powerful sneeze shook her half-dressed body.  
  
"Fuck that's disgusting!" I complained, very quickly coming down, away from being on the edge, as I scrambled backwards, further up the bed.  
  
"Sorry, Matty, I don't know where that came from all of a sudden...anyway, back to business. Where were we?" she said, shrugging rather unapologetically. Like the temptress she is, she then crawled onto the bed to reach me. "Don't tell me that scared you off now, seriously?" she asked, reaching out and tracing her finger along my length.  
  
"Of course not, but what the fuck?" I huffed, but instead of answering vocally, she stopped tracing and just properly gripped my still-hard cock and immediately resumed with her expert sucking and licking, successfully blanking my mind out of all else.  
  
"Caitlin?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"That bird my dad set me up with...that's what I was up. Come to think of it she might of sneezed a bit too..." I said recalling a few things that hadn't seemed like much at the time. Heck, I'd just been eager to get my mind off Dominic's behaviour and for someone quick to shag.  
  
"Seriously, Matt, you fucked a sick girl?" Morgan asked trying his best to hold back a laugh, but only succeeded in bursting out into loud, full-blown hooting laughter.  
  
"Hey, she seemed okay at the time! She never said anything, she-" but I was cut off by another powerful sneeze.  
  
"Jesus, Matt. You really don't sound too good. Maybe you should just go home, I'm sure your dad and the rest won't mind..."  
  
Groaning I nodded my head in response, my hand covering my nose which had exploded with delightful mucus from the sneeze.  
  
"I'll stop by with some meds for you later, but for now...here, take a few of these when you get home," he said handing me a tube of prescription meds, sure to avoid my gross hand. Noticing my sceptical look, he just smiled, "Relax, mate. They're just supposed to dry you up. I get allergies and they work a dream."  
  
"Thanks, Morgz," I said, my tone giving away how sorry I felt for myself. I was never any good sick.  
  
But he just laughed, "Now go home and drink lots of fluid and next time, please reconsider shagging a sick bird."  
  
"Hilarious, truly," I grumbled as I got up and began to pack my office up and collect all my things.  
  
  
When I eventually got home, feeling particularly pitiful, I took a few of Morgan's tablets, changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt and crawled into bed. I very quickly fell fast asleep, the medication knocking me straight out.  
  
  
                                                                                          ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
I was just packing up my laptop, my spirits fairly high as Matthew had left early this morning and I'd managed to go through the first day in a long time without being shat on, when bloody Morgan- of all people (a habit of his I'm beginning to hate)- waltzed into my small office.  
  
"Howard, before you go." Shit.  
  
"Yes?" I asked, trying my best to sound as polite as was possible when talking to the obnoxious prat.  
  
"Do us a favour and drop these off at Matthew's, he doesn't stay too far away from here. I'll quickly write down his address for you," he said, handing me a paper bag, before helping himself to some of my stationery and scribbling down an address. I tried to object but he just spoke over me, "I'd do it myself, but I have to go help out with the next broadcast and I know you're finished. Thanks." And with that I was left staring after him like a moron, the paper bag and address in my hands.  
  
                                                              

                                         ***

Curiosity naturally got the best of me and on the drive over to Matthew's, I couldn't help but peek inside the bag. Flu medicine. No wonder he'd left so early. Damn, I'd been expecting something a lot more interesting...oh well, at least I was still gonna finally get to see Matthew's house.

I eventually pulled up outside his block of flats, which was indeed near the office and also in a rather smart neighbourhood. One more look at the address paper, to make sure, I pressed his intercom, only to get no response.

So I pressed again. And again. And a few more times after that. I just wanted to get home and cuddle up in front of the TV and was in no mood to stand waiting in the cold. Eventually though I heard the sound of the door being buzzed open. Sheesh, and without even checking who I was? For all Matthew knows I could be some kind of serial killer!

Regardless I opened the door and marched up to his flat, where I knocked on his door, which (thankfully this time) opened soon after.

"Howard?" he asked completely surprised and confused, he also sounded way out of it at the same time.

Jeez, he looked a sight. I'd never seen Matthew Bellamy in anything less (well apart from obviously naked or in boxers) than his fairly smart work attire, yet here he was in nothing more than a pair of joggers and an old band tee. His hair was all messed and mussed up to one side, no doubt the side he'd been sleeping on, and he was even paler than usual, except for a few pink blotches and a bright-red nose. His eyes were glazed and looked at me from behind heavy eyelids.

"Um, uh, I brought you some medicine from Morgan," I said, sounding as startled as I felt, holding up the bag for his approval.

"Uh, oh, okay. The lazy bugger couldn't even bring it himself," he said with a nasally voice, his small speech impediment also made much more noticeable by it, before his skinny body was suddenly wracked with vicious sneezing mixed with coughing and spluttering. Lovely.

"Um, here, you should lie down," I said, leading him back inside his apartment, and so inviting myself in. "I'll get the medicine ready for you with a big glass of water." After a bit of weak protesting he quickly gave up and stumbled (no joke) down a passage and no doubt to bed. Which left me alone to look around his house, while I helped myself to the kitchen to prepare one of the effervescent tablets.

Like I would've expected, all the furnishings were modern and looked rather expensive. He had a huge, overflowing bookcase to one side of the large open-plan area which included a TV room (with a rather impressive flat-screen) and a small dinning room, and then the kitchen opened up to them; rather similar to my, slightly smaller, apartment then. It wasn't the neatest though, with dirty cups, articles and paper and other things lying all around, but it wasn't exactly untidy either. Looking around a bit as I waited for the tablet to dissolve, something pink wedged between the couch cushions caught my eye. Upon closer inspection I found the object to be a fairly generously sized bra, which I immediately tossed aside. Disgusting.

My mood quickly worsening (so what he brings her back here, but not me?!), I grabbed the glass of medicine, a bottle of cough syrup and a teaspoon and headed off in the same direction I'd seen Matthew go. A quick shot at trial and error, opening first a bathroom door and then a cupboard, and I found his room. Fuck, why hadn't we ever come back to his? His bed was bloody massive and he had another flat-screen set up on the opposite wall. I could also see the room had a window with a lovely view and an en suite bathroom.

"Matthew?" I called looking around to see a small lump in the bed stir, a mess of dark hair popping out from the covers.

"Hmmm?" came a very groggy sounding reply.

"Sit up and drink this," I instructed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Slowly he emerged once more and sat up, looking very much like a bear out of hibernation, his dark hair all over the place. Reluctantly he stuck his hand out to receive the offered glass. Only to spit out what he drank.

"Pphhhffft, what the fuck is that?!" he cried out spluttering all over himself and I snatched the glass away from him, before he spilt it all over the bed too.

"It's to help clear your sinuses, now look at you! You're covered in spit and medicine!" I pointed out, for his t-shirt was indeed sporting a large wet patch, some of the offensive liquid still running down his chin and dripping down his throat. How the mighty had fallen.

He just looked back at me sadly with his big, blue eyes, still startlingly beautiful despite their puffiness. I couldn't help but feel moved, my stupid feelings getting the best of me. Sometimes I was just too good for my own good.

"Oh, fine. Come, let's get you cleaned up and back into bed. Then maybe we'll try the cough syrup instead?"

"Okay, sure," he nodded, his voice still all nasally, but I could tell he was also still a bit distant. Man, what had he taken already?

With a grumble and moan he followed me into his bathroom and promptly began to strip, never one for shy modesty. Not that I suppose he needed any.

"Um..." I began looking around, "Do you want to bath or shower?"

"I'll just shower..." he drawled, before walking into its glass door.

"Shit, Matt, are you okay?" I asked rushing over. Yip, he was definitely out of it and all drugged up.

"'s the door, it got in my way," he grumbled, rubbing his forehead clumsily, while he grimaced.

"Here, let me help you," I suggested as he kept swaying. "Maybe a bath would be better?" He just nodded in response, so I sat him down on the closed toilet seat lid and drew him a steamy bath, while he watched on dreamily, eyes fluttering shut every now and then. Jesus, he was even worse than that first night when he'd been so drunk.

After I'd gotten him into the bath, I decided I may as well help him with it, I'd already done so much and didn't quite trust him on his own.

"This is so undignified," he grumbled as I lifted up his arm to run a wet cloth under it and so over a place of his which I knew would make him squirm. I wasn't disappointed. He burst into little giggles, before they turned into violent coughing. Taking this as a sign I quickly finished cleaning under his arms and instead wiped the cloth down his perfect, pale chest, before moving down.

"Oi, Howard, watch it," he squeaked, only to end up coughing some more, as I (perhaps too thoroughly) cleaned his crotch area, also maybe enjoying it more than I should've considering the owner of the fine set of balls and gorgeous cock was not feeling his best. "Also, I dont-" but he was briefly interrupted by a gigantic sneeze, before continuing. "-recall spilling anything down there."

"You can never be too sure," I reassured him with a wink, only to receive his trademark eyeroll.

I then quickly finished up and helped him out, handing him one of the nearby towels.

"I take it you can dry yourself?" I asked as he grabbed for it.

"'f course!" But I couldn't resist going over and rubbing his slender frame with it myself anyway, enjoying the appreciative humming he made in response, even though at first he'd tried to insist on drying himself.

I didn't know why I was being so nice to him, especially after he's always such an arse to me, but I guess that's just my flaw. I get attached and let people take advantage of me. Besides, the guy looked like he was having a rough time and could use some tender loving care. God, maybe his drugged off state is wearing off on me too...

After I'd dried him off, his lengthening, dark hair now fluffing in every direction, I steered him back into the bedroom, where he promptly plonked himself down on the bed. He then just sat there sniffling away, his blue towel pooling around his slender waist, revealing that tantalising trail of dark hair leading down from his navel and his dark nipples hardening against the change in temperature...

_Stop it Dom, stop perving over a sick man. Jesus, what's wrong with you?!_

"What, do I really look that bad?" he asked, startling me. The uncertainty in his question sounding so foreign coming from him, the mucusy edge to his voice and worsened impediment not helping either.

"Um, no, no. You look fine."

_Dammit Dom, why are you further comforting and reassuring him? You should give him a taste of his own medicine (as ironic as that sounds right now), you've got to stop folding to him!_

"Hmmm," he muttered not sounding convinced, before he pointed at his cupboard with one of his long, elegant fingers. "Be a sport and grab some sweats for me, please."

I should've told him to get off his lazy arse and get them himself, but like the pushover I am, I did as he'd asked. Hey, he is sick. He'd also used 'please' for once. I then handed him a fresh pair of track pants, boxers and a t-shirt (which I couldn't help noting happened to have a rather large hole just under where his right nipple was, when he put them on).

Luckily I didn't expect a 'thank you' though, as none was given after he'd changed and, towel discarded carelessly on the floor, crawled back under the crimson covers of his bedding. I bit my lip, annoyance building up once more as I picked up the towel and hung it up in the bathroom, never one to tolerate such a mess. I then returned to the side of his bed remembering the cough syrup.

"Oi, Matt," I said, now having confidently started to use the nickname, as I poked the small, red lump that was his body under the duvet. "You still need the syrup."

"Hhmmph, no," came his muffled response, but taking no more shit I began to tickle him out from under his hiding place. "Eeeh, DOM!!"

It had been squealed, but I'd heard it. My nickname. Not 'Howard', but rather 'Dom'. I was completely frozen with a mix of shock and (as ridiculous as I am) joy. When I finally snapped to, I was face to face with big blue eyes. So he'd realised he'd said it too.

"Um, uh," he began, fingers fidgeting with the hole in his shirt. "So, you, uh, gonna give me some of that cough syrup or not?"

"Oh, uh, sure," I said, unable to not notice how his cheeks were now flushed even more pink. "Here," and with that I handed over the teaspoon and medicine bottle and watched as he poured some onto the spoon, pink tongue poking out in concentration.

A face pulled in disgust and a few choice words later, and he was back snuggled up under the covers, while I put the medicine on his bedside table.

"So yeah, guess I'll go now..." I said standing up and heading for the door, not really expecting a response from him. "Feel better."

I was just walking out his room when, to my surprise, I heard a soft muffled reply, "Thank you...Dom."

_Dom._

"No problem, Matt."

I left his apartment with a big smile and the strangest of warmths building in my gut.


	13. Chapter 13

"So what did you do last night, Matt?" Morgan asked as I yawned before taking another gulp of my coffee.  
  
"Nothing much, still getting over my cold you know."  
  
'Who', would've been a more accurate question on his part of course, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I was finally starting to feel healthy again and, in celebration, Dominic and I had been going at it like rabbits all of last night, hence my current state of exhaustion.  
  
  
 _"God, you're like an animal tonight!" Dominic cried as I relentlessly pounded into him. I'd had him naked and on his hands and knees the second we'd gotten to his, impatient to get things started already.  
  
"Well now that I'm a lot better I have to make up for lost time," I grinned, my hands gripping his hips roughly for support as I continued my onslaught. "Why, have you got a problem with it?"  
  
"Nope...none...'fact I love it!" he cried again, as I hit his sweet spot.  
  
"That's what I thought," I growled before, leaning back over him and latching my mouth onto his shoulders, dragging my teeth along the blades and nipping the skin.  
  
"God, that feels...sooo good," he groaned.  
  
"Well aren't you glad I'm feeling better?" I asked, finally reaching under us to grab hold of his cock, before starting to firmly stroke it.  
  
"You have no idea."_  
  
  
Having a lot of pent-up frustration though, I'd given Caitlin a good fucking the night before, which probably hadn't helped with the lack of energy either. It may have verged on almost violent too, but- like the slut she is- she'd happily taken it.  
  
  
 _"Matt?" Dominic asked, I'd had my eyes closed, choosing to just let the sensations take over. This go we'd changed position, with him riding me, while I lay with my head supported against his pillows.  
  
"Yes?" I responded, rather unpleasantly if I'm honest, my eyes somewhat narrowed as I regarded him with annoyance. I'd been enjoying just hearing the sound of our heavy breathing and skin moving against each other, filling the otherwise silent room.  
  
"What're all these bruises from?" he asked, lightly poking one of the angry marks, this one near my right nipple; the rest were located all over in various other places. "Are those teeth marks?!" he added, slowing down the movement of his grinding down on me. "And these look like scratch marks," he said, stopping now completely, as his fingers tracing the red lines down my chest. "What the fuck have you been up to?!"  
  
"Fucking Caitlin last night; it got a bit rough," I stated simply, dropping my hands from his hips to knock his hands away from examining all the marks. "So what, you're just gonna stop now? Surely you don't give a damn that I fucked someone else last night? 'Cause it definitely wasn't the first time and probably wasn't the last either."  
  
"Um..." he began and I could tell he wanted to say something else, but couldn't bring himself to do it. "It's...it's fine," he tried unconvincingly.  
  
"Clearly I still need to lead things," I grumbled, rolling my eyes, before, grabbing hold of his hips again and rolling us over, putting myself above him. "You're not all upset are you now?" I pouted at him, teasingly.  
  
"Uh, n-no. Why would I be?"  
  
"Lord knows," I said with a careless shrug. "Anyway, back to business; now where were we?"_  
  
  
The briefly awkward moment had come when Dominic had asked what the bruises he found scattered in various places on my body were from. I'd then obviously told him, only for him to start acting like a little bitch. Sure he claimed he didn't care, but his face had given him away. I'd then had to screw the look off his face, and luckily in no time had him forgetting his own name, let alone the stupid marks.  
  
The other awkward development, which thankfully neither of us had brought up, was the fact that, in my drugged up state, I'd actually called him by his nickname the other day. Big mistake. Start doing things like that and the bitching over bruises will only be the beginning. He'll start thinking- which I fear he may already have started doing- that what we do is a whole lot more than what it really is: a convenient fuck.  
  
After our lunch break Morgan and I headed back to the office, but he had to quickly head straight into a meeting, so I was left strolling along leisurely alone at my own pace, when I reached the side of the building where most of the employees loved to take their smoke breaks. And sure enough, Dominic and his horde were there, laughing and joking away. As long as it had been since I'd had a smoke, I just wanted to head back inside, but sadly Dominic had other plans.  
  
"Hey, Matthew! Why not join us for a smoke?" The looks of shock and horror on Chris and Kirk's faces were hard not to laugh at, but I just shook my head and tried to keep walking. Only for the determined blonde to jog up to me, having passed his cigarette to his little girlfriend, Jessica.  
  
"Oi, why not? Why don't you get to know the others better?" he asked, his voice barely soft enough to be considered a whisper.  
  
"'Cause I have no desire to, and anyway, are you mad? When exactly did you think we'd become friends? My threat still stands," I warned and tried to move past him, but he latched onto my arm.  
  
"I don't know about you, but perhaps when you started putting your dick up my arse?" he said, causing my eyes to bulge as I frantically looked around to check if anyone had heard the moron. "God, relax, Matt. There's nothing suspicious about us being friendly at work! Just come join us for a fag, yeah? It's not like gaining some popularity would hurt you."  
  
"Fuck's sake, Howard," I grumbled, but let him pull me along anyway.  
  
"So guys, Matt's agreed to join us," Dominic announced cheerfully, creating a complete paradox with the looks on their faces.  
  
"'Matt'?" Kirk asked, looking at Dominic sceptically. Dammit, I knew the idiotic blonde was being too familiar.  
  
"Hey," Chris greeted me, nodding his head before he took a puff from his pipe. I just nodded back and ignored Kirk.  
  
"Here you go," Dominic smiled and handed me a cigarette, before leaning over and lighting it for me too, kirk staring on incredulously.  
  
"Cheers," I muttered and took a deep drag. Well if I was gonna be forced to endure this I may as well get the most out of it.  
  
"So, _Matt_ ," Jessica began, speaking for the first time. Her green eyes scanning mine carefully. "Since when have you and Dom here been so matey?" she asked, a strange tint to her voice, as she flicked the ash of her fag off. I'd long suspected Dominic had said something to her, but now I'm pretty sure about it, judging by the way those emerald eyes of hers were tearing into me...  
  
"Um," I began, but luckily Dominic came to my aid. And so he fucking should.  
  
"Awhile; from pretty much just sharing cigarettes and chatting out here really," he said, shrugging and doing his best to sound nonchalant.  
  
"Funny, I didn't really take you for a smoker," Kirk said looking at me suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah well, I tried to give up, personally I blame Howard here. He's my supplier you might say..." I said, exhaling a long plume of smoke.  
  
"Oh, I think he's responsible for aiding all of our habit," Chris said with a laugh. "I bet one day we'll all sit like this on chemo drips and he'll no doubt be the only one unaffected."  
  
"Oi! I don't force you to smoke, it's not my fault you all give in so easily!" Dominic objected, trying his best to not smile.  
  
"Aww, but, Dommy, who could say no to you?" Jessica joked and ruffled his hair with her free hand. "With these puppy-dog good looks, we're all just putty in your hands!"  
  
At this I couldn't deny my stomach knotted a bit as I laughed uneasily along with the rest.  
  
In the end the conversation went easily enough though and later on when I was working late, as usual, trying my best not to fall asleep, Dominic came in bearing hot coffee and pizza as a form of thanks for letting him get his way. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was training me to allow him to get a say every now and again...  
  
  
                                                    

                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"So, how come you're not off shagging 'Matt' then?" Jess asked me with a strange smile. "He still not invite you to his yet? 'Cause you don't still look very angry with him lately..."

"He needed to sleep, it's fine. We don't have to get together every night," I replied, hoping I sounded more sure of myself than I felt. "And of course, I've been to his, you should know this, I told you all about when he was sick."

"Dom, that didn't count! And just because he called you 'Dom' a few times, doesn't mean you should forgive him. Don't think I haven't noticed how he still calls you 'Howard' anyway," she said shaking her head in frustration. "Plus I can tell something else is up, spill!"

Dammit, I can never keep anything from her, she's just too good.

"Well...um, I don't think I believe him; about the whole 'he needs sleep' thing. I think he's with someone else. Caitlin to be more precise." Saying her name made my skin crawl and eyebrows instantly frown. "And I know I could ask him and press him, but I'm scared of the answer: 'cause he _will_ tell me the truth. It's better not knowing for sure."

The look on Jess' face spoke volumes. "Are you serious? He's still going on with other people?! Who's this Caitlin anyway?! Don't tell me she's the slag I saw awhile ago!"

"Well, she, um, actually is...I think..." So I told her; all about the bra and the bruises and the perfume I could often smell on him, and then of his casual admission that he was sort of seeing someone else now and again too. Some heiress his father was eager he get with, who turned out to be a sort of wild sex demon in the sack...

"Excuse me, a 'wild sex demon'? He told you that?!" Jess asked in horrified shock.

"Word for word," I admitted shamefully. I tried to ignore it, but saying it out loud now only made it all the more real. "And from all the marks she left on him last time, I can't say I don't believe it either..."

"Oh my God, he doesn't see anything wrong with telling you that?!"

"No, it's Matthew remember. What you see is what you get- mostly. He's always pretty frank with me...I'm just waiting for the day he suggests we all have a threesome or something equally as fucked up."

"Well I'll be fucked sideways... Jesus, Dom. What are you still doing with him? The guy's beyond being an arsehole, he doesn't treat you right and you're just being used! You deserve so much better!"

"Well that's just it, Jess. I'm not 'with' him..." I said, getting a bit nervous about how worked up she was getting.

_Fuck it Dom, you should be just as angry! Jess has more respect for you than you do for yourself!_

"Well, Dom, then what are you doing? What do you want from this? You're a grown man, you can't just keep fooling around forever you know."

"I don't know, Jess. I just don't..."

"Please, Dom! I'd know that look anywhere, it's the only thing to explain why you just let him walk all over you; you've only just gone and fallen for the arrogant little twat," she sighed and fell back into my couch with a deep sigh.

I didn't know what to say back to that, I wanted to argue and debate that it simply wasn't the case, but the truth of the matter was that she'd hit the nail on the head.

The more and more I thought about it, the more it became glaringly obvious. I was a sucker for the man. His mesmerising blue eyes easily held me at their mercy and that voice of his...God, I could go on about it for ages, and that's before I even started on his beautifully slim frame and the way he knew how to move it in just the right way to-

"Oi, Loverboy, snap to. This is a serious issue!" Jess said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Jess...I think you're right," I finally said, my voice full of defeat and in my mind I could see those blue eyes of his glinting with all his arrogant smugness. "I have fallen for him."

"No shit."

 

                                                                                          ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Matt, can you just listen? I have something I've been meaning to speak to you about."

I just looked back at Dominic, my eyes trying to watch his face and the main office, which I could still clearly see through my open office door, at the same time. Anyone could come in at any moment.

"What?" I hissed warningly.

"Why do we always go back to mine and never yours?" I nearly fell off my chair, was he insane?! Someone could've heard him!

"This is not the place for your little insecurities," I growled, standing up from my chair.

"Yes? Well then where is? Quite frankly this seems to be the only place I'm gonna get an answer!" he shouted stepping toward me, away from the, still wide open, door.

"Shut up, Howard!" I warned again, but he was having none of it.

"No, Matthew, not until you give me a straight answer!" I could just see a few heads turning in their cubicles, vaguely aware of the disturbance. If I didn't put a stop to this shit now I'd be screwed.

"Howard, for fuck's sake! What's your problem?!" I demanded, glaring daggers.

"The fact that we never go to your place! 'Cause I know you take those slappers there; so what, am I not good enough? Just because I don't have a pussy?!" he growled back, matching my glare. Some of the heads were beginning to rise, people getting more curious as to what the noise was about. I could only pray they hadn't heard any specific words. "Hey, Matthew? Answer me dammit! Don't make me have to raise my voice even more, 'cause I'm not leaving until you answer me!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, if it means so fucking much to you, we can go to mine after work then! Just get the fuck out of my office now, I don't want to see you until tonight- I'll get a cab. I trust you remember where I live? Unless your too fucking retarded to get that right either!" I was spitting mad, I could feel my eyes popping and the veins raised in my neck. How fucking dare he be so reckless, have I not stressed how much this needs to be kept secret?!

"Cool, see you there," he said simply, his voice and body language having completely relaxed, and just like that he turned and left the room, closing the door behind himself. I kicked my waste bin in frustration and knocked over my pen holder.

Fuck I was furious. All I know is that he had better be ready for tonight, it's time I really put him in his place.

 

                                                                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Guess what, Jess?" I asked her on my hands-free set as I pulled up outside Matthew's flat.

"What, Dommy?" she asked, though she sounded a bit distracted, her voice strained.

Choosing to ignore it, I just went on, "I am about to ring Matt's intercom as we speak! I finally took your advice and am taking charge, today I demanded why we never went to his and refused to leave until he agreed we come here for once!" I felt so proud as I parked and got out of my, admittedly ridiculous looking, car.

"Ah, really? Well that's great, Dom, but what about all those other _people_ \- after all with him we can't be sure which sex- and that Caitlin? You can't just ignore the facts, dear."

Fuck, why did she always have to be so right and burst my bubble?

"So he's a man-whore, I'm prepared to do something about that too, trust me, Jess, I'm gonna find a way to turn this into something more!" I declared and rang the intercom's button dramatically to prove my point, even though she couldn't see.

"Hmmm...we'll see about that, well, Dom, I've got to go- Kevin's being an utter bastard- but good luck anyway," she said and before we finished up and ended the call she added, "Even though I honestly don't know what you see in the bloke, I'm telling you, Dom, speaking from experience: don't fight for the bad boy, they're never worth it."

"But I think it's worth a try, I know he is-" but she'd already put down the phone, the sounds of her and Kevin arguing in the background the last I heard.

Before I could let concern for her take hold I heard the sound of the door being buzzed open for me, thoughts of what's to come (and the fact that Matt never seems to check who's at his damn door) taking over.


	14. Chapter 14

Walking up to his front door I quickly checked my clothing. The ridiculous school girl in me rearing her ugly head again; I'd dressed to impress.  
  
It was stupid, we'd just get straight to fucking anyway, especially when considering Matt's foul mood because of my sneaky tactics. No fooling around. But still, I couldn't help it; I wanted to look good.  
  
I adjusted the collar of my leather jacket and the necklaces hanging against my chest, my low cut t-shirt allowing for a good view of my tanned skin, before running my fingers through my hair. I'd gone and had that bloody haircut today in the end, seeing as I didn't have to wait for Matt to finish up. It wasn't exactly short now, but the ends were no longer brushing my collar or covering my ears. I'd loved that hairstyle, Matt better be fucking happy.  
  
With a deep breath I knocked on his door, only to find it open anyway. So I let myself in. Instantly I sensed his gaze on me, but instead of turning around immediately, I closed and locked the door. Ok Dom, you can do this.  
  
I slowly turned around to see he was standing just a few paces away, a completely unreadable look on his face, yet totally commanding and firm. Shit, he was probably still pissed off. What if he'd just asked me back here so he could tell me he was putting our whole little 'arrangement' to an end? Fuck, what would I do?  
  
We regarded each other for what must've only been a few seconds, but seemed to last forever. I couldn't help but take in the fact that he was still wearing his work clothes, so must've only just gotten back before I'd arrived. His crystal-blue eyes were picking me apart and suddenly I felt self-conscious. What did he think of the haircut? Did he think this outfit was sexy too? Or was he just waiting to deliver that final blow?  
  
I was about to say something to break the silence, but he beat me to it, by tossing something purple my way. The gods must have finally been on my side as I caught what could only be some form of clothing and didn't drop it and make a complete tit of myself.  
  
"Strip and put that on," he commanded, his voice cool and collected.  
  
I felt a bit miffed as he hadn't said anything about my hair and I'd also taken rather long to pick out my clothing, only to now have to put some _purple_ something on instead.  
  
"But Matt-"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
Still not sure of his intentions and not wanting my earlier worst case scenarios to hold true, I began to strip. Hey at least he didn't seem like he wanted to put an end to... _us._  
  
However, when I picked up the silky purple garment again, my clothes in a neat heap on the floor, I started reconsidering what I'd thought to be the worst case scenario. For, in my hands, I held lingerie- and no- not just any lingerie, but a women's corset, complete with black lace and light leopard print worked into the purple material.  
  
 _What...? Why hadn't I checked what it was when I'd first caught it?!_  
  
"What the fuck..." I started, only to find that he was no longer in the room with me. The sneaky little bastard having no doubt left while I'd undressed.  
  
I was furious, what the fuck was this now?! I could smell perfume on the damned thing, so clearly it had come from one of his women. No doubt fucking Caitlin. How dare he just expect me to wear it and dress me up like one of his tarts? I'm a fucking grown man, if he wanted a woman then he should've bloody well asked one over. I refuse to degrade myself in such a way!  
  
In a blind fury, still clutching the offensive garment in a tight fist, I stormed off in the direction I remembered his bedroom to be in, to where he was probably waiting for me and- knowing him- fully expecting me to have complied!  
  
"What the fuck is this?!" I demanded, barging into his room, still completely naked and flailing the corset around for emphasis. He was waiting for me, just like I'd suspected, sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his thighs. He was completely unmoved or phased by my display.  
  
"Just put it on, Howard."  
  
"LIKE FUCK I WILL!! What in the sweet fucking name of our Lord Father gave you even the slightest impression I'd be alright with this?!" I yelled, still thrashing the purple nightmare about.  
  
"Fine, then don't put it on; but if that's the case you may as well let yourself out," he said, loosening his tie, before adding, "For good."  
  
His sharp tone and words cut right through me, slicing through to my veins, filling them with panic. My mouth going dry as I tried to see any hint of a bluff in those azure eyes of his. I was met with none.  
  
"You can't be serious," I said, my arms dropping at my sides, the corset still loosely clutched in my left hand.  
  
"Oh, but I am," he assured me, as he began to undo the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing his silver chain, before sitting back to regard me. "So, what will it be? The choice is yours."  
  
My palms felt sweaty and my breathing didn't feel like I was getting in enough oxygen. I had to make a decision. What was it gonna be? To finally just fully degrade myself to his whim, or actually make a stand and get out of this whole thing with the last shreds of my dignity? Jess was right, I deserve so much better. All of this was just self destructive, he really was just using me. At the end of the day it didn't matter who's place we were at, it didn't make a difference, it would always just be me giving and him thanklessly taking. I should get it together and just walk out. It would be the healthiest decision, fuck what my heart wanted.  
  
"You gonna take all night?" he asked, a hint of annoyed impatience present in his voice, as he undid the rest of the buttons of his white shirt, revealing more and more of that tantalising skin of his, his silver chain glinting in the dim lighting.  
  
Half of my conscious was screaming for me to just scrape together the last of my self-respect and tell him to get fucked. The other half had other ideas. Him tossing his tie aside and running his hands through that glossy dark hair of his, causing the muscles in his torso to flutter, was doing no good for the first half's cause.  
  
"Time's running out," he said, raising a dark eyebrow challengingly, his eyes glinting with that same unreadable edge. "Tick. Tick. Tick..."  
  
"Oh, fuck it!" I relented, despite my better judgement, the fact he didn't look surprised by my decision somewhat disconcerting. With a huge sigh and grumble I clumsily put it on, him not even bothering to assist in my struggles, choosing rather to just continue sitting and observing. "Jesus Christ," I swore as I pulled something in my shoulder trying to do up the cording. "Thank fuck my father's not here to see this," I continued to curse having finally secured the damn thing, my breathing more laboured.  
  
"Really? I'd think he'd be rather surprised by how hot his son looked, dressed like the bitch he really is," Matthew said, his voice suddenly much closer and making me start. He'd gotten up and had slowly made his way over, now doing an up-close inspection of my deepest shame...but wait. Had he just said I looked 'hot'?! But then he'd also said I was a 'bitch'. What the actual fuck?  
  
"Hmm, sure," I grumbled, regardless. Choosing to ignore what he'd said. My dad would've gone ballistic, me being gay in the first place had been a big enough pill for him to swallow. This? Yeah I think it would take a lot longer than a few months to recover from, this time...  
  
"'Cause, _Dom_ ," he said making my ears perk up and warmth flood my system, only to be brought crashing down when he continued. "That's what you are: a bitch. A whiney, needy little bitch and so you should dress like one too."  
  
"I'm no such thing!" I yelled back, my hand instantly shooting out and striking him across the right side of his face with a satisfyingly loud slap, startling us both briefly. It was brash, but he'd deserved it. Asked for it in fact.  
  
 _How dare he fucking even...?! Ooh, I could just kill him! Who did he even think he was?!_  
  
"Nice," he said, his voice still cold and cut, as he rubbed his jaw. "Way to prove my point by bitch-slapping me."  
  
That just did it, I completely lost it and pounced. He was ready though and braced himself in time, managing to hold his ground as I tried to get his scrawny neck into a vice-lock.  
  
"Fuck you!" I cried managing to finally succeed, overpowering the smaller man. Only for him to elbow me hard in the gut as he broke free. I tried to stop him and grab at him, only succeeding in tearing his shirt off the rest of the way.  
  
"No, Dominic, fuck you!" This time the fact that he'd called me by my name barely registered, as I was turned on and shoved roughly down onto the bed. "As in that's exactly what I'm gonna do, you little bitch!" He then leapt onto the bed too and climbed over me, grabbing onto a good chunk of my shortened hair and wrenching my head back as he bit down on my jawline.  
  
"Jesus, get off!" I yelled in pain and kneed him straight in the crotch with a good deal of force, the sound of his strangled gasp strangely turning me on beyond belief as he fell to the side and curled up in on himself, clutching his wounded groin. "Who's the bitch now, huh?!" I challenged smugly in a rare moment of even more uncharacteristic behaviour. Only to chicken out at his pained expression, eye's firmly shut and mouth in a tight line, while he was left in an answering whimper.  
  
"Oh, shit. Are you okay, Matt?" I asked leaning down to check on him. "I'm sorry, I don't even know what-" but I was cut off as the seemingly incapacitated man instantly shot up and grabbed hold of me. Hair pulling, skin twisting and biting and hitting filled wrestling abruptly ensuing.  
  
I don't know who made the first move, but suddenly the sounds of cries of pain, gruff curses and hurled insults were replaced with that of our mouths violently merging. Teeth clashing, lip sucking, saliva slurping, breathless cries and grunts from our tongues competing for dominance, taking over from our limbs, which now scrambled for purchase, pulling on hair, faces and shoulders and hipbones.  
  
Before I knew it, Matthew had flipped us and was straddling me from above as he began to grind down on me, all previous thoughts of his injured groin clearly tossed aside. Then, deciding that simply devouring my mouth wasn't enough, he began to move lower, roughly ravishing a trail from my mouth down my chin, before latching onto my pulse point, where he sucked for dear life, making me #wail# like the whore I was dressed as.  
  
"Shit, Matt, fucking hell," I gasped as he increased the pressure of his grinding, the material of his trousers rough on my sensitive, unprotected skin, but he was oblivious, or- most likely- just didn't give a shit, as his mouth returned to smother my cries. One hand still tugged my hair forcefully, while the other began to stroke over the lavish material of the corset tenderly, almost reverently, as he continued to mercilessly grind his restrained arousal against me; the contrasting sensations driving my body into overdrive.  
  
"So this...Is your kink?" I gasped between all-commanding kisses. "Corsets...weird fetish, mate," I continued, knowing full well what I was doing. Hey, we might as well go the whole hog here, right?  
  
I was quickly rewarded with the anticipated reaction, but still caught slightly off guard, as he growled and suddenly grabbed my paining cock for the first time. "You're one to talk, you're getting off on this just as much, bitch."  
  
"But. Am. I?" I managed, trying to sound as normal as possible, as he started to roughly jerk me.  
  
"Oh, we both know you are," he chuckled darkly and suddenly let go of me. My cock twitched with the loss of contact, desperate for more, but when I realised he was beginning to undo his belt and fly my excitement quickly shifted.  
  
Shit, I know we've fucked countless times the past two or so months, but I could still never get over the sight of him. Now not being an exception as he finally got up and yanked his trousers off and then his socks, his shoes having fallen off at some point during our scuffle. Noticing my intense stare though, he halted his actions, thumbs teasingly curled under the elastic of his black boxers.  
  
"You enjoying the show?" he chuckled, his small mouth spreading into a haughty smirk, skew tooth only adding to the sex appeal for some reason.  
  
"Well I thought you were gonna show me how exactly I was getting off on this too," I stated, propping myself up better, after indicating towards the purple monstrosity stealing my already limited breath.  
  
His grin just darkened and his eyes, barely still blue, twinkled mischievously. I was so busy holding eye contact with him, that I hadn't noticed him slipping his right hand under his pants, until I saw his eyes briefly widen as he gripped himself. 'Holy shit', was all I could think as he began to touch himself, stroking his cock under the problematic black fabric. Dammit, why did he have to be such a tease all of a sudden? This wasn't how he usually did things.  
  
I wanted to get up and just rip the interfering boxers off and continue in our previous direction, but I knew he'd spaz out on me and freak if he didn't get his fun. So I just sat back, torn between watching the movements under the material, or the expressions starting to come over his face. His eyes never left me though; instead he appeared to be consuming my very essence, so piercing was his gaze, helping hold me the perfect captive.  
  
Matthew. Matthew Bellamy was shamelessly wanking off to the sight of _me_ in a purple corset...well I'll be damned.  
  
"Fuck, Matt, please," I cried eventually, unable to take anymore as he'd begun to whimper, his eyes struggling to hold their stare. "Stop, don't finish yourself yet. I want to see you."  
  
At first he appeared to look defiant, but then his body suddenly let out a tremor that made his eyes flutter shut as he was rocked with pleasure, causing him to shake his head, as if to clear it, and wordlessly, he nodded. I sat up straighter then as he, in one precise and quick movement, striped the offending boxers off and chucked them over his head with his left hand, while the right instantly moved to tightly clamp down on the base of his gorgeously swollen cock. The action caused him to let out a guttural groan and he rolled his head forward, eyes temporarily hidden behind his dark lashes.  
  
"Matt?"  
  
With a heavily laboured breath he then looked back up at me and let go of himself, a childishly adorable grin on his face, creating such a paradox to the rest of him.  
  
"Are you ready for me, bitch? Are you ready to be *my* bitch yet again?"  
  
He looked like what could only be described as pure, unadulterated sin. His skin glossy with perspiration, lazy eyes with pupils practically fully blown, kiss-swollen red lips, his dark nipples hard and extended and his rock-hard cock on full display; its head having gone a dark shade, while pre-come could be seen oozing from the tip. He looked like sex personified...


	15. Chapter 15

  
I couldn't help but lick my lips at the sight of him, stretched out over my bed, his bronzed skin already glistening with sweat, the purple corset clinging tightly to him.  
  
Mine. He was all mine, to do with whatever I pleased.  
  
"What you waiting for, _Matt_?" he teased, spreading his long graceful legs. "Or are you no longer interested, prefer to rather wank yourself off, than let me take care of you?"  
  
I just shot him a dark look, smirking as he squirmed in his place. "Let's get this straight first, you are _my_ bitch and so, _I'll_ be taking care of _you_ ," I growled, stepping back up to the bed, my body positioned just between his feet, which hung off the bed.  
  
"Oh, really, then get with it you tease!" he laughed, crooking his finger at me.  
  
"Cheeky little slag," I spat, but could still feel a grin tugging at my lips, so I turned it into a smug smirk. "You're not gonna be able to walk when I'm done with you."  
  
"Oh, we'll see about that," he insisted to irk.  
  
So, before he could let another cheeky word out, I made my move, mounting him faster than either of us had seen coming. My knees clenching both sides of his waist in place, while my forearms graced either side of his head, our faces left only inches apart. He tried to lift his face up for a kiss, but I just shifted and snagged his lip instead, biting down until I drew blood.  
  
"Like I said, you're my bitch, and so shall be fucked like one," I informed him, after I'd let my tongue dart out to clean the blood from my own lips. His eyes just widened, before a knowing smile fixed itself upon his features.  
  
"Fine, but then I'm gonna fight back like one," he sneered and took my pause as a chance to lunge forward and bite my nose.  
  
"Fuck!" I yelled, quickly sitting up and rubbing my aching nose. I fucking hated the thing enough as it was, my one flaw I'll admit to, but for him to use the damned thing against me? Game on.  
  
"What's the matter, big boy, too rough for you?" he jeered, only for me to lift my hand and clasp it over his mouth.  
  
"You talk to much," I said, my other hand running along his collarbones and down his chest, my short nails digging into his supple flesh, leaving track marks in their wake, until they reached the purple fabric of the corset. "Let's try and make that harder shall we?"  
  
"W-What do you mean?" he asked suddenly confused, as I let go of his mouth to quickly flip him over. "What are you doing, Matth-oumphh-ew," he gasped, as I broke his sentence, pushing down on him, while pulling the corset's ties tighter.  
  
"Making things harder for you; naturally," I smirked, flipping him back over. "Now suck on these," I instructed, shoving three fingers into his mouth.  
  
He just bit down hard on them though, spitting "Bastard!" at me as I yanked them out in horror, sucking on them myself to help quell the pain.  
  
"Fucking bitch," I growled and slapped his face hard, despite my throbbing fingers. "For that you're really gonna feel it!"  
  
"Wait, what?" he gasped, his eyes going wide as I leaned over to retrieve a condom from next to the bed.  
  
"Oh, you're about to find out," I smiled darkly, positioning myself between his legs. I then tore the condom wrapper open with my teeth and pulled it out, before stretching it over my darkened cockhead and rolling it down my shaft. "Though I do recall you liking it fairly rough, so this shouldn't be too bad," I added, my hands grabbing his legs and spreading them further apart.  
  
"Wait, Matthew, you can't honestly mean- FUUUCK!!" he yelled, his legs kicking out as I just plunged myself, balls deep, straight into him, pushing straight through his tight, unprepared muscle. "YOU FUCKING CUNT!!" he screamed at the top of his lunges as I immediately started to pound into him.  
  
"Let's face it, Howard, it's not like you haven't messed me about yourself, now it's just my chance to finally get you back!"  
  
"Are you mad?!" he howled in pain. "I have to put up with your arrogant twat of a self everyday at work!" With that he grabbed onto my hair, my hands too busy holding his body down, and pulled me to his face.  
  
"Fuck, Howard!" I yelled back in pain now too, as he twisted and pulled on my lengthening strands of hair, which were just a bit longer now than the length of his newly cut ones. When I tried to pull his hands off my hair though, I'd freed him up and he used the opportunity to flip us.  
  
"My name's Dominic!!" he spat at me, as in actual saliva sprayed onto my chest as I glared up at him, finding myself now pinned to the bed.  
  
For a moment I thought he'd pull off of me, but instead he chose to grind down, moaning as he did. Clearly he'd already adjusted, as he leaned down to lap the saliva back up.  
  
"Like that, huh? My big cock up your tight arse," I leered, rising my hips to meet his downward grind as he began to ride me. He just rolled his eyes, but didn't show any sign of stopping.  
  
As his eyes began to shut while he groaned deeply, I caught him off guard and shoved him backwards, moving with him, so that I was now on top again.  
  
"At the bottom again, where you belong," I growled into his ear, before biting on the earlobe, my thrusts now deep and hard.  
  
"B-but, Matthew," he said, trying to keep his voice steady, but it trembled with every powerful snap of my hips. "W-We both know just how much y-you enjoyed being at the bottom! 'UUNGH, DOM!! YES, FUCKING HELL, LIKE THAT!! RIGHT THERE!! OH GOD DEEPER!!! FUCK ME LIKE--'"  
  
"Cheeky little fuck!" I quickly shut him up with an even harder slap to the side of the face, before my mouth moved to smother him for good measure, his hot breath filling our fierce kiss, as I grabbed hold of his necklaces and snapped them off, throwing them somewhere behind me.  
  
"Bastard!" he gasped, breaking the kiss, as he delivered me the hardest slap yet, right across my face.  
  
I gaped back at him, slightly stunned, as I brought up a hand to rub my stinging cheek. "Well that was rather hard," I pointed out accusingly, as I narrowed my eyes, but he just chuckled in response, before leaning forward to smother me this time with his full lips. So I just rolled my eyes and kissed him back.  
  
I could feel his hands running along my skin, tracing the contours of my spine, before they cupped my arse cheeks and squeezed, causing me to buck forward in reaction. I just gripped him tighter, my free hand travelling along the corset, gliding against its silky texture.  
  
Cross-dressing had never really been my thing, but after all Dominic's shit...and then when I'd seen Caitlin had left her's, I'd just thought, 'Why the fuck not?' and it's certainly paid off. I wouldn't really say I've been converted, just that the fucker can really pull anything off and- if I'm truly honest- he wore it better than Caitlin could ever dream to.  
  
I was beginning to lose myself, sucking wetly on his throat and Adam's apple, moving also to his pulse point, the slight bit of dark-blonde stubble scratching my lips and face, while my hips continued their powerful rhythm. I could tell he was getting pretty close too, as I repeatedly pounded into his prostate, making him scream and moan like a common whore. Like the whore he was dressed as.  
  
It was just as I was sucking some juicy skin on his collarbone, leaving more marks, that I felt him reach over and actually manage to squeeze my balls, making my hips leap even more as I was taken by surprise, my voice squeaking at the sudden gesture. Deciding he rather liked the sound, he did it again, my voice betraying me once more too, despite my best efforts.  
  
"Stop that!" I growled, but he just grinned back defiantly and did it again, his eyes rolling back a bit at the sudden deep, hard thrust and squeak it provoked.  
  
"God, but that noise, you sound so...just so..." he smiled lazily as my thrusting came to a halt and I glared down at him, reaching back to smack his hand away.  
  
"Now you've really gone and done it," I hissed and, pinning both his hands above his head, pounded the hardest I ever had into someone. One of the best things about being with a man, is that I didn't have to worry too much about hurting him. He just moaned and screamed in a perfect mix of pain and pleasure, his hands twitching beneath my right, as my left desperately tried to help support my weight.  
  
"Oh, God," he groaned, his jaw hanging slack and his eyes disappearing behind two heavy lids. "I-I...ung--Aarghhhh!" His eyes instantly snapped open to try look down and see what had prevented him from coming. My left hand had abandoned its efforts, as I'd sat up a bit more, and was now tightly wrapped around the base of his cock.  
  
"Let go dammit, Matthew!" he groaned and pleaded, a man desperate for release.  
  
"Not until I'm ready and say so," I growled and jerked his swollen cock to the side a bit, just teasing him, before I leaned back down to thrust again, hand still tightly curled in place, while my other abandoned his wrists.  
  
I could feel a warm burn in the pit of my stomach, spreading rapidly to my groin. I was close. I could feel my orgasm fast approaching, as my hips pistoned frantically, ramming against his sweet spot and making him scream, while I grunted in effort.  
  
"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, let go, Matt!!" he pleaded, bucking his hips up, one of his hands clutching tightly onto my shoulder, fingers digging into my skin and no doubt leaving angry bruises, while the other held my head in place, yanking on my hair, so that we could crash our mouths together between desperate gasps for air. I refused though and just squeezed tighter, feeling his body writhe and tremble beneath me, just begging for release, as drops of pre-come oozed down onto my fist.  
  
I continued to just pound away mercilessly, until suddenly I was coming, hot and hard, as I bit down on the part of flesh that joined Dominic's neck and shoulder. My hand, having loosened enough for Dominic to join me, allowed his sticky, warm cum to coat our fronts and most likely ruin the bottom half of the corset, as we roughly rode out our orgasms, Dom crying out, while I continued to bite down like a bloody vampire.  
  
  
It didn't take too long to recover and soon enough we were at it again, but this time I'd managed to help rid him of his purple punishment, so that we could have full skin-on-skin contact.  
  
After about our third and final round I collapsed, completely finished after the long week and its explosive ending, and let my latest orgasm just wash over me.  
  
"You're...you're smil-smiling," Dominic panted from under me.  
  
"No...no I'm n-not, and anyway...how-how would you know?" I protested, but I could feel his body shake with tired laughter beneath me, as he cupped my face to look directly at me.  
  
"Just...li-like...that," he replied victoriously, as he then shifted me off of him.  
  
I just groaned and rolled my exhausted eyes, in no condition to argue, the damn smile still undeniably tugging at my lips.  
  
"You look... _hot_ when you smile like that," he stated suddenly, after we'd laid side by side, attempting to catch our breath, for a while in complete silence, our ragged breath all that had filled the room.  
  
"Sorry, what?" I asked, managing to prop myself up a bit to regard him suspiciously.  
  
"Your smile, it's the first time I've seen you properly smile, with nothing else behind it, except honest happiness," he replied, mirroring my positioning, his own smile stretched across his full lips, his newly-cut, blonde hair sticking up in all directions. "Oi, don't just roll your eyes!" he said as I did just that.  
  
"I'll do just what I bloody well want," I grumbled and turned over, tiredly pulling up the bed covers with difficulty, so drained I didn't even care about the drying cum plastered to my stomach, as I snuggled into my pillow. I didn't particularly care if he stayed or not, he always seemed to make a big show of it when I was at his and the few times I had been similarly tired out, he'd eagerly let me spend the night. As long as I got to sleep now, he could do whatever.  
  
I was just starting to drift off, when I was suddenly pushed over onto my back.  
  
"What?!" I jumped, but Dominic just smiled and produced a wash cloth he'd dampened in the time I'd begun to check out.  
  
"Can't have you waking up to all my cum smeared down your front, I'll never hear the end of it," he laughed and promptly started to wipe me off, like I was a little kid who'd been fooling around in the dirt. I seemed to often find myself in this situation; with him caring for me.  
  
I wanted to push him away or sneer something back at him, but I quite honestly just did not have the energy and so left him to it. When he'd finished and returned the cloth, having cleaned himself too, I felt the bed dip as he crawled under the covers too. Clearly he did indeed plan on spending the night...I guess a morning fuck won't be too bad.  
  
"Goodnight, Matt," he sighed. Now generally I wouldn't even bother answering, but for some reason my exhaustion-riddled brain had me doing the opposite.  
  
"Night, Dom."  
  
Then there was silence, but I was sure I could hear his head working, processing the simple greeting.  
  
 _No, don't do it. Don't, don't, don't-_  
  
There was then movement and Dominic did something we never did- it was a sort of unspoken rule if you will- and wrapped his arms around me, spooning me from the back.  
  
"Sleep well," he breathed, my hair fluttering from his breath and my skin raised in tingles in response.  
  
His arm tightly draped over me in a close cuddle, let his hand brush against my cheek as I felt myself slipping into dream, no longer caring where he was or that he was holding me.  
  
Perhaps it was because of my barely conscious state, or the fact that I was still riding high on the afterglow from all the sex, but either way, for some reason, I pulled his hand more to myself and cuddled it under my cheek. Before long I was out like a light, Dominic's body heat warming up my back and his hand the perfect pillow.


	16. Chapter 16

  
"Hmmmph....mmf...mm-oooom...

Mmmhmm..."

I lay dead still, afraid to wake Matthew, as he mumbled peacefully in his sleep, though it took everything not to. At some point he'd cuddled up properly right into my arms, his own wrapping around my waist tightly, while he softly snoozed on my bare chest, even somewhat drooling ever so slightly.

It was completely bizarre and at the same time absolutely amazing for me. We never had any physical contact when we weren't fucking and never showed any affection; I hadn't even known Matt was a cuddler. Yet here we were, snuggled up tightly, Matt holding on like I was a teddy, indeed a cuddler after all.

I'd taken advantage of his sleepy self the previous night, but had most definitely not expected to wake up to this, with him actually holding on back. What could this all possibly mean for our relationship?

Did this mean we actually might be moving forward into one? Was there even a possibility of him even vaguely returning these feelings I couldn't help but have for him?

"Hmmm...fuuuck yeah...mmm...yes, Dom...hummm..."

_Wait, had he just said my name? What was he even dreaming about?!_

I could feel his chest rising and falling rather steadily against my side, when I suddenly became very aware of something else sticking me in the side. That is, when he shifted and...

_Wait...no. He can't be. Surely?_

No, there was no doubt about it. Jesus, he really does keep going! After last night's epic session, I'd have thought he'd still be all tired out like me, but no. The man was grinding against me, in his sleep.

_Whoa, okay..._

"Dom, hhmmm...yeah...mmmph...ummm...yes..."

I just stared down at him, my mouth agape. His face was completely calm, his nose just scrunching up a bit when he smiled secretely to himself. At first I thought he was just messing with me, but when I tried calling his name he didn't respond and when I nudged him he only let out a small snort and nuzzled his head into me, before going straight back to his slow and steady grinding...

"No way," I whispered in disbelief to myself. Now this really was a surreal morning.

"Hmmm...sooo hot...you're a great fuck...mmmm...Dom...gonna make you all...mine...Dom..."

I don't know whether it was my disbelief of what he was doing or saying, but suddenly I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Loud and hysterically, my body began to shake with laughter, sending his head, which was still rested on my chest, bouncing.

I knew I should stop, but I couldn't help it! This was so unlike the 'holier than thou' Matt he always conveyed, that I was completely overcome.

And when I did end up waking him, his confused sleepy expression, as he lifted his head to look at me, hair all mussed to the side that had been on my chest and the tiny trail of a bit of drool on the side of his mouth, it only helped to make matters worse.

"Wha-ahhhoo-t?" he yawned, dark lashes blinking as he tried to adjust to the morning light.

I just giggled some more though, but manage to reach over and wipe away the shiny bit of spit with my thumb, making his angled cheeks go a shade of pink in embarrassed realisation. Poor sod, I hadn't even started.

Just then, he also seemed to realise that we were still tangled up in each other, his arms still around me, his right leg thrown over me, as he shifted and went pinker still. It was so weird for him to actually be the blusher for a change. I'd never seen this side of him.

"What was so funny, though?" he asked, trying to untangle himself, but I held on anyway. I just enjoyed holding him too much, not even minding his morning wood pressing into my hip. Continuing with his uncharacteristic behaviour, he just complied and let me hold on still, even though he'd withdrawn his own arms.

"You. You talked in your sleep," I grinned and risked kissing the top of his mop of dark hair. He frowned and grumbled at the action, but didn't move away.

_He so does like it, the stubborn little bastard._

"So what," he grumbled. Trying not to sound like he cared though, he couldn't help but add, "What about?"

"Oh, you know, just about what a good fuck I am and that you were gonna make me all yours..." I replied casually, absentmindedly stroking the silky skin of his back under the covers.

"You're lying," he objected, this time trying to move away for sure.

"Then why are you hard?" I asked, allowing him to scoot away this time. "Though I suppose the fact that you were humping me in your sleep too, might also explain your current erection."

At this his eyes widened, as if to deny it again, but there was no denying it and I'd made his sleepy self aware of his, er, current state. His cheeks instantly went pink once more, even though he tried to blow it all off with a grumbled "whatever" and turned away from me.

"He admits it!" I cheered and pulled him straight back, wrapping my arms tightly around his slender body.

"Lemme go," he complained and squirmed in my arms, trying to pry them off of him, only for me to wrap my legs around him too.

"Never!!" I declared and began to blow raspberries on his neck, making him squeal with laughter and thrash about helplessly, my arms and legs trapping his own from fighting back.

"DOM!!!" he cried, peeling with extraordinarily high-pitched laughter and giggles, which shook his skinny, hysterical body.

It was completely surreal, from the moment I'd woken up, this had all just started off so differently. Being in his bed for once and his strange behaviour and the complacency once he'd woken, had spurred me on to take full advantage of the situation and do something I'd never do usually; something I usually also couldn't have dreamed of getting away with. And my God was it worth it.

I'd never heard Matthew really laugh before, he was always so fucking uptight and absorbed in his own bitterness, but hearing it properly now? I never wanted to not hear it, his laughter was one of the sweetest sounds and I also couldn't help but take in how he'd called me 'Dom' again.

"What's that?" I asked, now actually properly tickling him, letting go of my hold in favour of teasing the skin of his sides and underarms.

"STOP!!" he begged, still rolling about, now beneath me, his insane laughter filling the room.

"Hmm..." I teased, and continued mercilessly, his legs kicking so much the bedding went flying off of us. "Should I, or shouldn't I? Decisions, decisions..."

"I'm serious!!" He cried. "Gonna...wet...the...bed!!"

"Okay, okay, okay, I'll stop," I grinned and did so, but pulled him up against me, wrapping my arms around him once more, while his small frame heaved as he tried to catch his breath and calm down.

"You were joking though, right? I mean about the humping..." he finally asked, once his erratic breathing had slowed down.

"'Fraid not," I smiled and kissed the top of his head. God, I love this new mood of his, why can't he always be like this?

"Fuck, that's so embarrassing," he groaned and buried his head into the hollow between my head and shoulder. He was never so touchy. The action caused a warm buzzing sensation inside of me.

"Haha, it's alright, I forgive you. Even if you do keep insisting on poking me with your boner," I laughed and he tried to pull away. "Hey, where you off to?"

"Where do you think? Seeing as you'd far rather tease me, I may as well go take care of myself," he muttered, the light tone of his voice having left.

"Oh, don't sulk now," I said, but couldn't help giggle at the way he rolled his eyes and tried to get up.

"I'm not sulking," he grumbled, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down onto the bed.

"You are, Matty my love," I corrected, and before he could object to my choice of words I quickly added, "But anyway, here, let me help you."

He halted his retreat briefly, considering my offer, until he nodded. "Fine, you may help."

' _Fine, you may help'?! Aaand Matthew Bellamy was back; oh I don't think so..._

He'd laid back down, his lean body stretched out in invitation across the red sheet of his bed, his pale skin creating- an admittedly- fantastic contrast. He'd also shut his eyes, resting his head on his up-stretched, folded back arms, exposing his underarms and their soft dusting of dark hair.

_Perfect._

"DOM-I-NIC!!!" he cried out as I pounced, my left hand trapping his arms above his head, while I sat on his thighs, immobilising his legs and  leaving my right hand free to torture his especially sensitive armpits.

"And just when I thought you were starting to be nice!" I declared, tickling him senseless as he furiously squirmed about, crying out with his unique, hysterical laugh.

"WHAT?! WHAT...DID...I DO?!" he yelled, as his body twitched and trembled and shook.

"You honestly don't know? God, you really are an arse," I said, shaking my head, before beginning to shower him with raspberries.

I wasn't really too angry. Please, I knew him well enough by now to simply expect behaviour like that, but it didn't mean I couldn't take advantage of this opportunity and have a little fun.

"I DON'T!!! JESUS...STOP...DOM!! PLEASE!!!" he cried out and I could see tears gathering in his eyes, one even rolling down a sharp cheekbone, he was laughing so hard.

I was just having too much fun though, perhaps all the past couple months' frustrations had finally boiled over and this was his sort of punishment. I didn't know for sure, but suddenly a certain memory from last night popped into my head.

I just had to do it again, to see if it really did illicit the same fantastic noise.

So, still pinning his arms in place, I stopped my tickling and used his exhausted recovery to my advantage, by making my move. His eyes were closed and he didn't notice me lift up and push his legs apart, only to grab hold of my goal: his balls, which were lying unprotected between his legs.

His eyes instantly shot open and he tried to kick me off with his legs, but it was too late; I was already safely between his thighs and in the position of power, despite his feet kicking at my back.

"Don't you fucking dare!" he hissed, but I just grinned back and squeezed. The sudden resulting squeal and upward thrust of his hips, a sight I knew I'd never get tired of.

"You're such a cunt! I-" Another squeeze, another delightful thrust and squeal. I could do this all day.

"Just say you're sorry," I said, before gifting his silky balls with another good squeeze.

"For what?!" he demanded, earning him another, harder squeeze. God, but the noise he made...like sex for my ears, it was so unique and cute.

"Pretty much for everything, for always being such a twat to me for one," I said, my eyes drifting to his fully erect cock. Despite all his complaints, the leaking pre-come from his darkened cockhead was an obvious sign that all the tickling and teasing was only adding to his earlier arousal.

"Excuse me? I have not! You've been a complete menace all along, to be honest, why must you be so clingy? You're the one that basically fucked up my already screwed up life as it is," he said, earning him his hardest squeeze- and loudest squeak- yet.

"Oh please, you know you have! And I'm probably a Godsend to you, I just go along with your ridiculous situation and let you beat me up like an emotional punching bag, and then still gift you with mind-blowing sex! Plus this whole thing with Caitlin and the rest? Seriously, I think it's time you choose- them or me." My heart was now actually beating crazily, I hadn't originally meant to take it this far, but the words had just slipped out, after weeks of being shoved away. Dammit, what if he didn't choose me?

_'Oh, come on, Dom. Then he really doesn't deserve you!_ ' I could heard Jess say in my mind.

He just looked back at me, his azure eyes completely unreadable, but I could tell he was actually processing it all. Fuck, my heart was hammering with nerves. What would he say?

What did I want him to say?

'Yes'? But would that really be what I wanted? Wouldn't it be better for me- healthier- if I stopped it all? He'd never want a proper relationship with me, not when his job was on the line. And even if it wasn't, I don't even really know for sure if he would even want me. And say he would agree to sticking to just me, that still doesn't mean we'd be in a relationship. And at the end of the day, that's what I want. I want a relationship; anything less shouldn't be good enough for me.

"So? The ball- so to speak- is quite literally in your court. What will it be: your- no doubt numerous- other fucks, or a _proper_ relationship with me?"

_Fuck, Dom, you just went and said it. Now it really is all or nothing..._   



	17. Chapter 17

"Well?!"  
  
He asked yet again, he'd, by now, already let go of me and I was free to sit up and look at him properly, my balls and cock aching for completely different reasons.  
  
"A relationship with you? That's it, we can't just continue with what we're already doing?" I asked, and for once he was the one that rolled his eyes.  
  
"No, Matthew, that's not good enough. I deserve better."  
  
Whoa, where had this serious, determined, ultimatum-making Dominic come from?  
  
Since when was _he_ the one telling _me_ what to do? How dare he just put me on the spot like this?  
  
"But haven't I already made it clear to you that I can't be in a relationship with you? I shouldn't even be doing what we do do!" I pointed out, my annoyance at the change from how everything had been going, clear in my voice.  
  
"Yes, Matthew, you have. Trust me- and I get it- but can't you see; what we're already doing is practically what we'd do in a relationship! I'd even keep quite about it, no one else would have to know- just so that I could have some reassurance for myself. The fact you wouldn't also be sleeping around with other people wouldn't hurt either."  
  
"What sort of relationship would that be anyway?! One shouldn't have to hide away their partner- neither of us 'deserve' that- so what's the point?! And I'm sorry you don't like it, but you have no right to actually make me conform to whatever you want, just so that you can feel 'reassured'. What the fuck, you really are like a little bitch- in fact you're actually worse than a woman!" I said, my voice raised.  
  
"You really are a complete and utter self-absorbed arsehole, aren't you?!" he shouted, his voice raised louder than mine, as he got off the bed and stormed out of the room.  
  
"Fuck you, Dominic! What would you even know? Just because I don't want to settle down and play 'house' with you!" I yelled after him.  
  
"No, fuck _you_ , Matthew! You can have all the slappers you want, but we both know that what we had was mutual- something you probably haven't felt in ages- and you'll start craving it without me around!!" he yelled straight back, the unmistakable sound of him getting dressed carrying through to my room too.  
  
"And you have the nerve to call me self-absorbed! You fucking hypocrite!!" I yelled back and threw one of my pillows out the bedroom door.  
  
"Whatever, Matthew! You'll regret this, and when you come crawling back to me, you're really gonna have to make up for all your shit!! And even then I'll probably still say no!!" he shouted angrily, making my own blood boil.  
  
"Like fuck I will!! Get the fuck out of my house already, you're no longer welcome!!" I knew it was childish even before I'd said it, but I couldn't help it, I was completely enraged.  
  
"I'm already fucking leaving, enjoy being alone then for the rest of your uptight, miserably lonely life!! 'Cause you're clearly gonna end up alone; no one else would've put up with all the shit I already have, and those that would- like your slutty Caitlin- will never truly hold your interest. Trust me, I obviously know you better than you even know yourself!!"  
  
I jumped off the bed, ready to fucking shove him out the door myself if I had to and grabbed my pair of boxers off the floor and pulled them on- all thoughts of my hard-on completely dissipated- before screaming at him again. "GET THE FUCK OUT!!"  
  
"WITH PLEASURE!!" And with that my apartment finally rang with the sound of the front door slamming shut.  
  
"What a fucking cunt!" I growled to myself, and threw my bedside lamp against the wall, before ripping down the curtains. I knew I was behaving even more childishly, but I couldn't stop, I was just too fucking pissed off. I was furious and just needed to let off steam, so I continued to decimate my room, yelling and swearing as I went along.  
  
Ripping and smashing and throwing and screaming; only stopping when- in my blind rage- I slammed my fist into the mirror on my wall with a sickening crack.  
  
The screaming shock of pain that ran straight through my arm and the resulting crack lines spreading in the once smooth surface, slowly filling with the red of my blood, finally brought me straight back down to earth.  
  
 _Jesus Christ, look what you've done now, you fucking moron!_  
  
I glared back at my shattered reflection, millions of copies of my blazing blue eyes ripping into me with that same stare.  
  
 _Well fine, fuck you, Matthew._ _ _Fuck my fist too for that matter._  
  
No, actually, fuck him. _  
  
_You know what- better yet?_  
  
Fuck us both.  
  
  
                                        

                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"I don't even know why I'm so surprised! We all knew he was a douche, you even warned me this would happen! Yet I still went along with it and now am falling apart!" I wailed into Jess' shoulder. "I just let him walk all over me like a doormat and was stupid enough to think that something would come out of the situation."

It was selfish, burdening her with my troubles, when I knew she had some serious ones of her own to deal with already. But after I got back from storming out of Matthew's apartment, I'd really needed someone's shoulder to cry on. Jess had just always been that shoulder in the past, so my first instinct had been to call her and like the amazing friend she was, she'd come straight over and heard out my entire sob story.

"Oh, Dommy, I'm so sorry," she said, for about the hundredth time this afternoon. "He's a complete bastard, he never deserved you anyway. This probably is for the best- he wasn't worth it. He just isn't worth your time!"

"But, Jess, I really fell for him- the arrogant little twat that he is- and then this morning, before it all? It was like I was seeing a whole new side of him, I honestly thought...I thought..." but I couldn't finish as a new wave of tears suddenly hit me.

"Here, Dom," Jess said, handing me a tissue and stroked my hair as I blew my nose.

"I even cut my fucking hair!" I pointed out, her gesture reminding me of yet another something else to be upset about.

"It looks good though, Dom, so what," she tried reassuring me.

"Maybe I just fucked it all up though? I can't help think that, if I hadn't asked, if I-"

"No, Dom. You did the right thing! He didn't want to give you what you wanted, something so important...he doesn't even truly deserve to be cried over, but I understand. Just cry and feel better, we can go out sometime at the end of the week. It's time the two of us move on and start over! The sooner the better!"

It was while I was busy wiping my eyes dry yet again, that the penny suddenly dropped.

"Did you break up with Kevin?!" I asked, the question just the distraction I needed from thoughts of Matthew.

"Yes, last night, soon after you called actually," she said, nodding, her own eyes beginning to swim with tears.

"Oh, Jess, I'm so sorry," I said and pulled her into my arms instead now. "And here I've been going on about my stupid little fling of barely over a month, while you just ended your relationship of three years!"

"No, Dom, it's fine," she said, shaking her head, causing her full eyes to leak a bit. "It was for the best. Anyway, you also needed the support- still do- and it doesn't matter how long either thing was; what matters now is that we improve and learn from our mistakes."

"Hear hear!" I grinned, before groaning when I realised something else.

"What is it?" she asked, dabbing at the tear track on her cheek.

"I have to now still go work with Matthew; and we thought he was an arsehole to me before! Can you even imagine what it'll be like now?!"

"Shit, Dom...I forgot about that..."

Yeah, we both had.

 

                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I arrived at work my usual time and headed straight for my office, ignoring the attempts at pleasant conversation people tried to engage me in on my way through the building and main office.

If I had to hear one more person go 'Oh my, what happened to your hand?' I think I may just split the stitches open again, while smashing in their face.

I managed to stick to my office for the better part of my work shift, but eventually I had to go on and help with the prime time casting, which as luck would have it, was Jessica and Dominic's turn to anchor.

I ignored them all flat, just shouting out a "I trust you all know what your different jobs ask of you by now" and headed over to my seat off the set, putting on my coms-set, ready to work with technical directing.

They all just slouched into action, Dominic and Jessica sitting at their places behind the anchor desk, while Make-Up gave them a quick one over. I turned to look away, but wasn't quick enough to avoid seeing how Dominic's eyes had glanced sadly in my direction.

Fucking moron, it was all his fault, what did he have to be upset about? He'd gotten his answer.

"Okay, people, we're about to go on air in, five, four, three..." Chris began the countdown, his own coms-set in place as he took his spot behind the cameras.

I operated like a machine, not fully there, but aware of what cues to give and what to direct and fix, and when at last we were finished, my back aching from sitting so ridged for so long, I headed straight to my office to finish up on my last proof read, before I could finally go back to my apartment.

I just sat, typing away, my earbuds playing some or other new indie band that I wasn't really properly listening to, pausing every now and again to take a sip from my mug of coffee.

I felt utterly miserable. Admittedly still feeling sorry for myself after Dominic's sudden ultimatum on Saturday morning, I'd spent the whole weekend in a completely foul mood. A mood which had just carried on through to the week.

How could he just spring something like that on me? Fucking bastard. Well I didn't need him, I didn't need a clingy little bitch dragging me down, this was all really just a blessing in disguise. This way I had at least one less thing to fret and worry about, though I can't lie; I wouldn't mind having the possibility of a good shag to relieve the day's stress after I finish up here.

I guess I could always call Caitlin, or any one of the other people I occasionally fooled around with, but to be honest I just didn't feel it in me. Just the thought of their company ticked me off. No, I'd just go home and have an early night, Lord knows I could do with a few more of those after the past couple exhausting, non-stop months.

After what felt like forever I finally finished up and packed up, before heading to the elevator, the miserable feeling still twisting in my gut. At least I'd brought my car along today, I really didn't feel up to any public transport.

And when at last I got home, I just dumped my stuff down and headed straight for my room. I was exhausted and my bed was desperately calling for me.

When I started stripping down to my boxers, something on the floor caught my eye though. Hopping on one leg as I yanked my trousers down and off, I made my way closer, only to recognise the object as the two necklaces Dominic had been wearing.

They just brought everything rushing back; the way Dominic had just casually jumped me with his preposterous question, even after I'd long since made my stance clear, then also the way he'd looked at me today on set: sad and pityingly.

"Fuck you, Dominic Howard," I growled snatching them off the carpeted floor.

_Couldn't the bastard just leave me alone in my own house?!_

Fully enraged all over again, I threw them out my bedroom door with as much force as I could muster, then turned, only to see my fragmented reflection in the mirror I'd smashed the other day. Just looking at it, I was reminded of the ache in my fist, I could literally feel my heartbeat in its throbbing.

I felt like screaming; where had all this anger come from? Why was I so upset by it all, what was my problem?

‎Maybe sleep was all I needed to calm down and get a hold of myself again, I shouldn't be letting this all effect me so much.

_Relax, Matthew. Deep breaths, deep breaths._

I shook my head, perhaps in the vain hope of clearing it, and made my way back to my large bed. The new, blue bedding reassuring me somewhat as I crawled under the covers.

Sleep, yes, that's all I needed. I hadn't really managed to get any during the weekend, perhaps that's what was mainly to blame for my short temper and this heavy sadness that seemed to be following me.

_Sleep, Matthew. Just go to sleep._

I pulled the duvet over my head, praying for sleep to come, but even as I shut my tired eyes I knew I'd be lucky if I even got an hour.


	18. Chapter 18

  
"Well doesn't he look just awful for a change," Tom grinned, his gazed trained on Matthew, who stood a few desks away, furiously typing away at Mark's laptop, while the poor reporter was left to watch on. Even from here I could hear him growl, "Must I do everything around here? Where did you even learn to write?!"  
  
"Doesn't he just," Jess agreed with a smug grin of her own.  
  
They weren't kidding either, Matthew looked exhausted, he had dark rings around his eyes, with his clothing not as neat and tidy as it usually was and was constantly putting back coffee, clearly desperate to be able to keep functioning, as a result he was even more fidgety than usual, his hands actually now trembling.  
  
"Still wonder what's up with that hand of his..." Chris suggested, as we all waltzed off to his office for our usual sneaked smoke break.  
  
"He took the bandages off, you should see it, his knuckles are virtually every colour of the rainbow and criss-crossed with stitches... Must've obviously been in some sorta fight," Tom suggested with a shrug.  
  
"Over what though, is the question," Chris pointed out, before the two lunged into possible causes for Matt's injured hand, rapidly getting more and more ridiculous as they went along.  
  
"How are you holding up though, Dom?" Jess asked me as we stood by the window lighting up, quiet enough for the other two not to hear. Though they were so distracted with their ridiculous guessing game it was probably hardly necessary.  
  
"I've been better, but it's been a week now...and...I still feel like I may have made a mistake; something is surely better than nothing?" I said, lighting up her cigarette first, before moving onto my own.  
  
"No, Dom, you did the right thing. You're worth so much more than what you were getting; you stood up for yourself and I couldn't be anymore proud," she reassured, after she took a long drag.  
  
"But Jess, you don't understand, every time I walk past him, or we have to talk? I just wanna reach out and beg for us to go back to the way we were; though that's virtually impossible as he flat out ignores me nowadays," I sighed sadly and inhaled from my own cigarette.  
  
"But I do understand, Dommy. Don't you think I feel the same about Kevin? My only saving grace is that I don't have to see him anymore, now that I've moved out," she pointed out, waving her cigarette in the air as she spoke, the smoke dancing about in circles too.  
  
Since their break up, she'd been staying with her parents, with all her stuff put into storage. Out of the two of us she was definitely having the harder time, yet here I was, yet again, going on about poor old me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jess..." I apologised with a deep sigh, twiddling my cigarette about in my fingers. "I just...I really...look I've never really felt this way for someone and what if I've now just thrown it all away? What if I never feel like that again? Maybe I could've waited it out and slowly convinced him, make him realise he felt the same and then wait for him to make a move?"  
  
Jess just shook her head, before #exhaling# a new plume of smoke from between her cherry-red lips. "No, Dom. You couldn't have done it any better, and sure it still hurts like hell, but you will heal. Anyway, if he really did feel the same, as you seem to have convinced yourself, then maybe he's currently having the same issue?- it would certainly explain his current state- so why not wait it out; who knows, maybe he'll break first and come running to you?"  
  
I could've kissed her! Instead I just grabbed her into a hug, just as she was taking another drag from her cigarette- my own now completely forgotten- and spun her around. "Why didn't I think of that? Oh my God, Jess, you're a genius!!"  
  
"Whoa, hold on their, Howard. I didn't say it was for sure, just that it may be a possibility, relax," but she couldn't help smiling along with me.  
  
"Oi, what're you two going on about?" Chris asked as he and Tom finally snapped out of their childish game.  
  
"Oh, nothing, nothing," I grinned and Jess just smiled and gave me a secretive wink.  
  
"I wonder about you two sometimes," Tom grumbled shaking his head, as he and Chris lit up.  
  
                                                                                                     ***  
  
I was still riding on my hopeful wave that evening when I got into the elevator, only to see Matthew follow me in.  
  
My heart was hammering with a mixture of nerves and shameless hopefulness, but I may as well have been part of the walls for all the attention he showed me. He just continued to type away on his stupid iphone, eyes never even glancing up for a second.  
  
I couldn't help but look on at him, he really did look rather a mess, I wasn't used to seeing him look like this. He always seemed to be so in control and sure of himself, yet here he was, paler and skinnier looking than ever and in desperate need of a good night's sleep. What else but our fight could've brought this on? I know it sounds vain and all, but I can honestly think of nothing else that may have happened to him...but who knows?  
  
Perhaps something else had happened- would possibly explain his hand, which I could now see rather well. Tom wasn't kidding, his right hand truly was fucked up good, no wonder he's typing with the left.  
  
It was so weird standing there, in the confined surroundings, with him so close, yet not talking to him. It was ridiculous, just standing and staring in silence, after everything. I mean, I'd had sex with the man countless times, yet here we were, neither properly acknowledging the other's presence. We were acting like immature children.  
  
It took everything for me to stop from saying something- anything- to him, shit I was so close to breaking, but Jess was right. If I ever hoped to have anything more I couldn't give in, and if he really did have feelings for me, he'd come. I just had to be patient.  
  
But what if he never did come? Would I always be left wondering 'what if'?  
  
Well, 'what if' he actually really didn't feel the same? I couldn't just keep waiting around for something that may never happen... But likewise I couldn't even bring myself to do anything else. I'd tried going out with Jess, but I only found myself hung up on thoughts of Matthew, leaving no interest for anyone else. Heck, Matt wasn't the only one with bags under his eyes, I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten a proper night's sleep myself.  
  
Maybe this really is all pointless, wasn't I just happier before? I'm pretty sure he was...  
  
 _No, Dom, quit being so bloody useless. You know he was beginning to feel something too, he's just too damned big-headed and proud to realise it himself, but he will. Just give him time.  
  
Don't settle. You really deserve so much more, you weren't really even asking for a lot and if he can't compromise, what business did you two have even attempting to fool around?  
  
For once just take control properly. Assert yourself. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. You deserve proper love too, you're not just some cheap fuck at the end of the day_.  
  
With all that in mind I managed to tear my gaze from the stubborn bastard and survive the rest of the lift ride down. As soon as its doors opened I was gone, without so much as a goodbye grunt.  
  
I was done being useless, it was his turn to fold. If he finally managed to see sense I'd most likely end up taking him back. Maybe.  
  
If he didn't fold? Well then, fair enough, but I'm not gonna wait around forever.  
  
  
                                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Something had changed.  
  
Over the past months I'd become so accustomed to always catching Dominic staring- or just simply zoning out on me- even after our explosive ending I'd still catch him staring, albeit differently, but he'd still be looking.  
  
Yet suddenly I could no longer sense his gaze and even when I looked his way he'd ignore me flat. We still only ever communicated when it was absolutely necessary for work, though even then I felt this new change. It was something in his voice and eyes...  
  
Perhaps he'd already found someone else, someone who did actually wish to be in a relationship with him. Someone who could actually be in a relationship with him.  
  
Whatever, he had every right to move on. Good for him that he could in fact, I'd grown tired of those stupid, big, grey eyes staring sadly at me, like a dog that'd just received a beating from its master.  
  
The only real problem was that *I* couldn't seem to move on. It was ridiculous. Completely. Yet sadly was indeed the case. I didn't even know why, but I just didn't feel inspired to call on any of the others, or even go out and find someone else. I also just ignored all Caitlin's texts and calls. I was no longer interested. That wasn't anything particularly new, I easily bored of people and quickly moved onto new ones, but this time it just felt different with Dom.  
  
Night was definitely the worst though, sleep just seemed to elude me, no matter how desperately I needed it.  
  
Why not take sleeping pills?  
  
Well I'd tried that, let's just say it's one thing to have the infuriating blonde constantly popping up in my thoughts, but then to have him haunting me in my induced dreaming? Worse even when I'd wake up to spunky boxers and with the faint memory of his sweet lips on my own...  
  
So instead I just lived from one coffee or energy drink to the next, until eventually I'd just pass out on my couch while working (one good thing was I was working incessantly and getting so much done; desperate for distraction), or wherever I happened to be.  
  
The scariest had been waking up with my face squashed against the shower wall, the shower head still pelting my back with icey streams, long since having run out of warm water. I could seriously have hurt myself or even ended up drowning myself in the inch of water on the tiles. How embarrassing would that have been?  
  
Jesus, I had to do something. It was getting beyond ridiculous now. What was my problem? Why couldn't I just forget about him like I did with everyone else?  
  
It was as I was reaching for one of my shoes, that had somehow ended up under my couch, that I came across those fucking necklaces again. Could I not be left in peace for one second?!  
  
I wanted to throw the bloody things out of the window this time, as I got back to my feet, gripping them so tightly I could see the whites of my injured knuckles. I'd stupidly torn my stitches open again- just as they'd begun to heal too- but I didn't care; it was completely irrelevant now, as I'd suddenly been struck by something.  
  
Wasn't I about to throw away a whole lot more than just his necklaces? Didn't this stand for so much more- 'symbolically'- me throwing them away?  
  
Suddenly I wasn't so quick and eager to toss them aside... Did I really want to put an end to all of this, to what we'd been doing? To him? To _us_?  
  
 _What_. _No. Can't be...but..._  
  
 _Shit, Matthew... Could you have been even more of a complete and utter idiot if you'd tried?_  
  
It was so obvious all along, the way I'd been feeling lately even more of an indication, I'd just been too blind and self-centred to even believe for a second that he'd been the only one starting to get serious feelings. Why else had I stuck it out with him so long? Sure he was a good shag and all, but usually by now I'd have long since lost interest; especially after a fight like we'd had.  
  
Was this all also why I'd been even harder on him than all the rest, treating him the worst? Because subconsciously I'd always known. My mind was just too busy making up dumb excuses to protect my vain interests?  
  
 _Fuck's sake, how had I not realised sooner?_  
  
I'd even also always loved that ridiculous, floppy hair of his!  
  
Still holding onto the necklaces tightly, I grabbed my coat and keys and headed for the door, before my mind could fuck with me anymore and tell me to act otherwise.  
  
My bleeding hand could also wait.  
  
                                                                                                             ***  
  
Typically it was raining like a bitch and as a result I could already see the traffic was going to be a nightmare and there was no way I could sit still for a second, not now.  
  
So I decided I may as well walk, his apartment wasn't too far away and at least this way I wouldn't have to sit still, I'd be kept busy.  
  
The rain was ruthless, I'd barely reached the end of my street when I was already practically drenched to the bone, it was like rubbing salt into the wound. How could I have been so stupid?  
  
Why had it taken so long for me to realise? It had taken seeing his damn necklaces in my bloodied fist to open my eyes. Did I really want to throw him out my life? Did I really just want to toss him aside like I'd been planing on doing with those necklaces; wasn't this constant anger and lack of sleep just a sign?  
  
As much as I'd tried to deny it, the fact was just too hard to ignore any longer; I actually liked being around the flashy blonde. I really always had. He'd been right, I was just too damn full of myself to realise I was slowly falling for those big greys and perfect, warm smile.  
  
I just always had to be the one in charge, the one in control and too bloody Goddamn stubborn to see what was right in front of me. Though I still didn't even know why I was heading over to his, what was the point? Nothing had really changed.  
  
It was still impossible for us to have an actual relationship and I'd been serious when I'd told him that I didn't consider it a proper relationship if we couldn't even let anyone else know about it, so what was I doing? He'd only be happy if I agreed to a relationship- and that's if one's even still on offer- but then it wouldn't really be a proper one. It was so counter productive, we'd really just be continuing on like before. Sure I'd only stick to him then, but... Was that really good enough then?  
  
Didn't he deserve better than to just be a secret?  
  
 _Dominic deserves better..._  
  
Here I'd been so self-absorbed, I'd completely ignored his sacrifices and everything he'd done. He didn't have to keep running after me the way he had, he could be in a perfectly functional, normal relationship with any bloke he wanted, yet he was set on me and my fucked up situation and even more fucked up personality.  
  
I was probably wasting my time, he'd most likely moved on by now and wouldn't be interested, even if he hadn't I doubt he'd even be interested in my apology; heck, Lord knows if the situation was reversed I'd most likely turn him away. That's what I deserved after all. I didn't deserve his seemingly endless understanding and forgiveness, it wouldn't be surprising if I'd finally pushed him too far.  
  
The pelting rain, soaking through my clothes, seemed to be clearing my thoughts as I went along, helping to fully open my eyes as well as my mind. I'd been such an idiot. It really shouldn't have taken me this long to figure it out, then again I'd never been any good with relationships, but still, that wasn't a good enough excuse.  
  
When I finally reached his apartment, the doorman, taking pity on me in the freezing rain as I shivered away and also probably recognising me (hey, I'd definitely been there more than enough times), thankfully let me inside. With a nod of thanks, my soaked shoes squelching away, I headed straight up the stairs to his door, I wasn't about to impatiently stand still inside a lift, I needed to keep moving.  
  
Though, when I reached his front door however, I froze. Should I really go through with this, wasn't he better off without my 'arrogant twat of a self'?  
  
Wasn't I just being selfish again, by barging back into his life and therefore putting him in an unfair situation? A relationship with me, where no one could really even know about us, surely wasn't good enough? He'd just be sacrificing for me all over again, 'cause at the end of the day that's how everything between us so far had really been: him giving and me just taking.  
  
If I really did now supposedly have feelings for him, wouldn't it be best if I just turned and walked away now, and for once do the unselfish thing?  
  
He deserved so much more...  
  
...but then(if our whole relationship up to this point wasn't a good enough indication) I'd never been very good at being selfless.  
  
With a deep breath, I pushed back my sopping-wet fringe out of my eyes and knocked on his door, thankfully remembering at the last minute to use my left hand.  
  
My right hand was still clutching his necklaces though, so even if he did- rightfully so- tell me to get fucked, he could at least have them back, though I very much so doubt he'll want them either. Apart from having been snapped broken off his neck in the first place, I don't think he'd enjoy the new blood stains on the cording either.  
  
I listened carefully to the other side of the door, until I heard the click of the key in the door and then turn of the handle.  
  
My heart was pounding in my ears, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so nervous, shit what would he say? What was I gonna say? Would he forgive me? Did I really want him to forgive me? What was going to happen now?  
  
Then suddenly there was no more time for the countless questions running through my mind as the door opened, revealing the man in question, his much shorter blonde hair neatly brushed for a change, his clothing too was rather respectable. Clearly he had been doing much better than me. His expression on the other hand, could only be described as pure and utter shock.  
  
"Matthew?!"


	19. Chapter 19

"Matthew?!" I asked in complete shock, when I'd opened my door to find the last person I'd expected in front of it. "What are _you_ doing here?!"  
  
And I'd thought he'd look bad before... He stood there, soaked to the bone, a puddle even forming at his feet, his thin jacket not nearly enough to protect him from the raging storm outside. His dark hair, plastered to his face, looked almost black with the water still dripping from the sopping strands, leaving long lines of the moisture running down his now ghostly-pale face, his lips were even tinted a faint blue, due to the no doubt freezing rain. He looked so small and miserable, the drowned rat look making him appear even skinnier and fragile.  
  
"What do you wa-" I began, but he cut me off.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Dominic. I'm so so sorry." I just gaped back at him in disbelief. Surely not?  
  
"Please will you let me in, so that I can try to explain?" he asked and I was so taken aback,  that I backed more inside so he could step into my open-plan entrance hall/living room, completely forgetting myself.  
  
"I'm such an idiot, Dominic, I was just too fucking pig-headed and stubborn to realise it. You were right all along, but I refused to even listen; too self-absorbed and arrogant to properly hear you out and realise my own feelings. I know I don't even-"  
  
"Um, Matt, hold on a-" I tried to stop him, but he just continued anyway.  
  
"-deserve to try and ask for your forgiveness and ask if your offer still stands, but I'm going to try anyway. Please, I know I can be a complete fucker most of the time, but you actually put up with it and when you asked for a little in return I told you to fuck off. I'm a complete cunt- I know- but I just hope-"  
  
"Matt, wait a sec-" but, determined for me to hear him out, he held up his hand.  
  
"Wait, just let me finish, please, it took me this long to come to my senses, I don't think I could wait another second, I need to get this off my chest. So basically, what I'm trying to say, is that I desperately want your forgiveness and for you to take me back. I know I can't really offer you the relationship you deserve, but I can try make it worth your while regardless. I'm so sorry I've been a real dick to you- more so than to anyone else- but it was only probably due to my not fully comprehending what it all meant: I actually do feel the same. Please, can you forgive me? Look, I'll completely understand if you'd rather tell me to fuck off, I will, if that's what you want. I'll leave you alone and stop being such a douche," he continued, his naturally fast paced speaking even speedier than usual, as he tried to get it all out.  
  
I stared back at him, his azure eyes holding me fixed in place, suddenly it felt like it was just the two of us in this world, in this situation, in this moment, everything else just seemed to fall to the wayside.  
  
"God, and I'm sorry I look a complete mess, I couldn't wait, I had to come straight over. My sleep-deprived mind is a bit riddled, but I hope I'm still managing to get across to you. I don't even know how I can make it up to you, but I'll try, you deserve more say and...heck, I'll even actually let you top when we fuck occasionally- and coming from me that's quite something!" he said with a dry, humourless laugh, though I felt my own lips tugging somewhat. "So, what do you say, will you take me?" he asked, only to suddenly realise the double meaning, his pale cheeks actually flushing. "Well as your boyfriend of course, but the other meaning still applies I suppose."  
  
I was still in shock, I'd begun to think for sure nothing was going to happen, that I'd just have to move on. Sure I'd hoped and dreamed (especially after what Jess had said), but I never really thought this would happen. I was lost for words.  
  
He bit his bottom lip nervously, clearly having now said all he'd wanted, his crystal-blue eyes never leaving me, as he waited for my decision.  
  
"Um, I really am sorry, I don't know how else to tell you just how much...but I guess if you're not interested I can't force-" he began again, his face dropping with obvious disappointment, but I cut him off for the final time, not sure of what else to say or do, I grabbed the back of his head and brought our lips together, all else completely forgotten.  
  
I'd never had to really decide in the end, as I'd told him; the ball was in his court, all he had to do was stop being so damn stubborn and realise it all and do something.  
  
In just this short amount of time I'd forgotten what an amazing kisser he was, and how perfect it always felt to taste those delicious, thin lips of his (despite them now feeling like icicles), but I was very quickly reminded. Our mouths had barely joined before his tongue was lapping against my own and seeking out every surface of my mouth. There was a light "clunk" sound, before his hands mirrored mine, by grasping my hair, as my own tugged on his sopping-wet mop of ebony hair, our bodies pulled flushed together as the kiss deepened.  
  
"Ah-hum, aghm, ah-hum."  
  
"Dominic!!"  
  
Suddenly, brought screaming back down to earth, Matt dropping me like a hot coal as he leapt back, blue eyes wide as a deer in headlights, I was reminded of why I'd tried to stop him from his apology, as we both turned to look at the two other people in the room.  
  
 _Whoops._  
  
Shit, how could I have just suddenly forgotten about them and then gone and snogged Matt's face off in front of them?! And he'd spoken about our sexual positions! Not to mention all the curses he'd used...  
  
I could feel my skin glowing bright pink as I nervously cleared my throat and introduced them all. "Matt, this is my mum and dad. Mum, Dad, this is Matthew...I suppose you could call him my _boyfriend_ now."  
  
"Um, hi?" Matt said quickly, before shooting me a startled and mixed look.  
  
"Oh," was my mum's reply as she got up to shake Matt's hand. Dad on the other hand, got up and marched off to the guest room where they were staying, muttering under his breath.  
  
"Don't mind him, Brendan will just need to have some more time to get used to all this," Mum said reaching out for Matt's hand, only to gasp. "My dear boy, what ever has happened to your hand?"  
  
"Oh, uh, don't worry about it," he blushed, swiftly shoving it in his pocket, but not before I'd seen the bloodied wound too.  
  
"No, no, nonsense, let me take a look, I'm not a nurse for nothing after all," Mum tutted, taking hold of his left arm and dragging him to the kitchen, before he knew what was happening. Typical Mum, always has to be the carer and never takes no for an answer. Thankfully, unlike Dad, she was also very understanding and accepting.  
  
Matt glanced back at me helplessly as Mum grabbed a chair and sat him down by the sink, helping him out of his sopping jacket.  
  
I just shrugged apologetically, but made no move to rescue him, instead just taking a seat of my own.  
  
"Come on now, Nicky, don't just laze about; put the kettle on," Mum instructed, before turning her attention back on Matt, rolling up his right shirt sleeve. "My, my, my, what have you done to your poor hand, dear?" she tisked and began to fuss over it.  
  
As I made tea, I couldn't help but notice how Matt was biting down on his lip, face contorted in pain, as he no doubt tried desperately to prevent himself from swearing, as Mum began to clean out his wound, grabbing supplies from my small first-aid box.  
  
When I'd finished the tea, she was busy bandaging him up, before helping him to his feet, a new little rain puddle having formed where he'd been seated.  
  
"Now let's get you into some nice dry clothes, dear. I'm sure Nicky here won't mind lending you some. We can't have you catching a cold too now," Mum suggested, happily taking charge, as she turned to me. "Honey, why don't you lend Matthew some jimjams, after all he may as well stay the night; we can't let him go back out into that."  
  
I could've hugged my mum for hours, she truly was the best, which I suppose she had to be, considering my father could be a completely close-minded arsehole at times. Typical Dad, he was no doubt sulking now, due to the fact I'd been kissing another man and now had a boyfriend, even after the fact that he'd supposedly long since accepted that I was gay. Be gay? Fine. Act on it? No. Well it's his problem, we're under my roof now, so I'm the one who gets to make the rules.  
  
"Well, only if he doesn't mind staying," I said with a shrug, afraid of his answer. Sure he'd just asked to be in a relationship, but that didn't mean he'd want to spend the night with me and my crazy parents.  
  
"Um, sure. Thanks," he replied, and I shot him a grateful grin, which he thankfully returned.  
  
"Also you may want to wash your hair, sweetheart, as you have blood in it," Mum added, Matt giving me an apologetic look.  
  
"Sure," I shrugged and grinned reassuringly at him.  
  
                                                                                                            ***  
  
After I quickly rinsed my hair and insisted Matt have a warm shower (I also carefully wrapped some plastic wrap over his bandaged hand, so it wouldn't get wet), I lent him a pair of boxers, sparing him of the yellow ones he so detested (I mean come on, what's wrong with them?), and a pair of blue pyjama pants and my old Queen tee. The clothing, ever so slightly large on him, and his fluffily drying hair just made for the cutest picture ever and I'd snuck a few more kisses, before grabbing some blankets and a pillow for the couch and leading the way back to the lounge.  
  
I didn't want to push my father too much, so planned on sleeping on the couch and letting Matt take my bed, but he was having none of it. Still completely taken aback by this new Matt, I'd just simply left him to the big couch.  
  
My mum and I had left him alone to make the bed for two seconds, while we made more tea, only to return to a Matthew fast asleep on the couch-bed. The poor thing was simply finished; so Mum took the armchair, while I scooted Matt's feet up a bit to sit on the couch, I knew I wouldn't be able to escape her questions as easily, as we sipped at our fresh cups of tea.  
  
"So, Matthew?" Mum grinned, her eyes travelling back to the sleeping man who'd promptly shoved his feet on my lap.  
  
"Yip, that's his name," I said with a shrug, taking another sip of tea.  
  
"Well he's definitely a rather good looking young man, isn't he? I never knew you liked them slim and brunette," she giggled, making me flush bright pink all over again. "So, how long's this been going on for and why didn't you think to tell your dearest mum about it? You know I worry, Nicky."  
  
"Um, well, officially? Since I introduced him I guess...otherwise? Well, it's been...complicated- I'm sure you got the just of it in his apology- but for a couple months now. I'm sorry I never told you anything, Mum. It's just that it's a rather strange situation," I answered, but she gave me the look. I knew she'd want to hear what I meant so I briefly explained who Matt is and why we couldn't really be in a proper relationship.  
  
"Oh, my, no wonder I thought I recognised him," she said, giving his peacefully sleeping face another once over. I was so tempted to lean over and kiss his slightly open lips or dust his porcelain skin with butterfly-kisses, but I really didn't want to push it. I still had to give my mum some time to adjust too.  
  
"Well he's definitely a very outspoken young man," she said, slightly blushing, no doubt thinking back to his apology speech.  
  
"Um, uh, yeah." I could tell I was blushing even more furiously.  
  
"I trust you're safe though, you know when the two of you engage in sexual relations; HIV is a major risk factor, especially in the gay community-"  
  
"Mum!!" I groaned in desperate embarrassment. "You brought me up well, we've always used protection. God, how embarrassing." I felt like being swallowed up by the couch, meanwhile Matthew just continued to sleep on happily, stretching out even more on my lap.  
  
"Oi, Nicky, I have to check, and there's no need to feel awkward, I'm a nurse, I give hundreds of people advice about sex, so what's wrong with discussing it with my only son?" she said, unapologetically. "Plus I can tell you really like him," she grinned, her eyes fixed on my hands, which had been absentmindedly stroking his feet and lower legs. "I used to have to pay you to massage my feet!"  
  
"Mum," I grumbled again, but she just laughed and stood up, before giving me a kiss goodnight.  
  
"Now don't stay up too late, sweetheart, I'm going to make French toast for breakfast," and with that she was gone.  
  
With a content sigh I looked back down at Matthew again, I couldn't believe the way the evening had turned. I most definitely hadn't expected it to end up like this.  
  
When my parents had called to say they were stopping by London to drop by on their way to visit my older sister Lisa and her family, I'd just thought I'd have to put on a brave face and avoid Mum's nagging. She could always tell when something was up. It had taken her only a few minutes upon arrival to suss something was wrong, I hadn't known how long I could avoid her questions, but then low and be hold, the source of my troubles had turned up in person. Needless to say I think she has her answer now.  
  
I still can't believe the stubborn bastard finally saw sense. With a big smile I followed through with the kissing shower I'd wanted to gift him with earlier, making him hum cutely in his sleep. So what if I'd simply forgiven him, what could I say?  
  
Life's too short to stay angry and hold grudges.  
  
Somewhere between kissing along his beautifully defined cheekbone I fell fast asleep, finally overcome by my own exhaustion and the warmth his slim body provided, as well as his deliciously familiar scent mixed with my own. Everything felt perfect and right at last.


	20. Chapter 20

"Matt, Matt, move over a bit, you're hogging the couch."

Still rather comatose I scooted over a bit, my body mourning the loss of the warm embrace, so I reached over to grab back an arm and pull it over me again.

"Seriously, Matt? But you're like a freaking giant hot water bottle, how can such a small body generate so much heat?" he grumbled again, but his arms wound around me regardless. Just in time too for me to elbow him in the gut for his comment.

"'m not so small," I mumbled, my voice sleep heavy and rather muffled by the pillow I was sleeping on.

"Aww, but you're still the perfect size to fit in my arms," he cooed, pulling me close, tucking my head under his chin. Despite the fact that I knew he wouldn't see it in the dark, or behind my eyelids, I still rolled my eyes in reply.

"You better not be rolling your eyes," he grumbled then, the movement of his jaw knocking my head. He already knew me too well.

"So what if I did?" I challenged, slowly waking up more.

"Well then I'd need to teach you a lesson, wouldn't I?" I could practically hear the grin in his voice, before I was suddenly flipped round to face him in the dark, causing me to yelp in surprise, before I composed myself.

"Oh yes, and how exactly are you planning on doing that? You do know neither of us can see a thing in the dark right?" I asked, before I felt one of his hands start to caress the side of my face, the other running along my chest, before slipping under the hem of the tee I was wearing, to caress my bare skin there too, stopping when his fingers reached my rapidly pebbling nipples.

"We don't need to _see_ a thing," he purred and the thumb of the hand caressing my face traced along the shape of my lips, before I felt him lean in closer and the digit was replaced with his own soft lips.

The kiss was painfully sweet and breathtaking, as my own hands found their way, one knotting into his thick hair, the other mirroring his one, by sliding under his t-shirt. I rubbed my bare feet against his socked ones as our legs began to entwine, while our tongues knotted in the most fantastic of ways, our hushed moans echoed into each other's mouths.

It was while I was beginning to lose myself in the kiss, his one hand still lightly teasing the hardened nubs of my nipples, that his other hand took a completely different path.

Him suddenly groping me through the borrowed clothes, completely unexpected from the tame kissing we were engaging in, made me let out a surprised squeak. A squeak which resembled a certain noise he'd discovered I could make and enjoyed hearing all too much.

"God, you make the cutest noises, yet they always still manage to really get me going," he said with a husky voice, due to the kissing. "But we should keep it down, I'd die if my poor parents were to walk in. I think Dad would quite literally have a seizure."

"Then you should warn me before you do something like that," I huffed, after managing to pull my bottom lip from his greedy mouth.

"But I know you like it, hell I can feel you do," and as if to prove a point he swiftly began to palm me through the two thin layers of material. Shit, it felt good. I'd really started to miss his touch, he always knew how to do it just right and what was called for in a situation.

I must've started to outwardly mewl too though, as the next thing I knew was that he'd covered my mouth with the palm of his other hand. "Can't have you waking anybody up now," he hushed. Before I could protest, the other hand that had been palming me through the material, had moved and instead slipped under the loose-fitting PJ bottoms and then the waist band of the boxers, so that it could properly curl around my hardening flesh. And thank goodness he'd covered my mouth too, as my responsive sigh was even a little loud despite being muffled.

"God, I've missed the feel of you under my hand," he groaned, as his hand began to now caress my eagerly responsive cock, his thumb tracing along the ridge of my cockhead...

"Hmmm...mmmph...hummm," I mumbled and pushed his hands away, rather reluctantly.

"What's the matter?" he asked in confusion, his voice barely still a whisper.

"I don't want to ruin your clothes; plus let's just say it's been awhile and I'll probably make quite a bit of noise if I come," I answered, my cock still twitching, no doubt in frustration. "Anyway, I should be making things up to you, not just have you spoil me yet again."

He just answered with a soft laugh and I could feel his head shake next to mine. "It's gonna be weird getting used to this new 'selfless' you."

"Please, I never said it was gonna last forever," I teased and he chuckled again, before pulling my lips into another sweet kiss.

"I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep with your boner poking into me though and seeing as you won't let me finish you, you should just turn around," he said, but not without giving my now hyper alert crotch another cheeky rub.

"Oi, excuse me for being the good guy for a change," I grumbled, but turned and was soon pulled back into his arms, only to feel his own half-hardness poking into me. "You really are a hypocrite, you know."

"Hush, just go back to sleep," he tutted, but I could hear the smile in his voice as he gave my head a quick kiss and snuggled us back into our original position, my head safely tucked under his chin. It didn't take long for my eyes to shut again, my mind already beginning to drift.

The last thing I heard was too soft a whisper to properly be heard, but I could've sworn I heard those famous three little words...but then I was truly finished and already slipping into dream, so I can't be sure.

The feeling of his left hand slipping under my tee again, to softly stroke my stomach as he spooned me from behind, lulled me quickly under...

                                                                                                        ***

"Nicky, wake up. Nicky sweetheart, wake up, let's not completely isolate your father just yet."

"Hmm? Oh, okay, Mum."

Suddenly my back felt cold, no longer heated up by his warmth.

I yawned deeply, reaching back for my comfort, only to find he had left. I wanted to cuddle into his warm embrace again, but was too sleepy still to get up and find him, so instead cuddled more into myself and the back of the couch, eyes still yet to open...

                                                                                                        ***

"Matt, wake up, Mum's making some French toast and it's gonna be cold if you don't get up now," I heard his voice slowly bringing me around once more, only to then feel his hand brushing my fringe back as he gifted me with a quick peck on the newly unveiled skin.

I sleepily reached up for more as I sensed him standing up, my eyes still firmly shut.

"What are we gonna do with you?" he sighed in mock frustration, but I could hear a lilt of affection in his voice.

"Oi, you two boys, stop messing about, I'm making Nicky's favourite breakfast and I'd hate to see it go to waste. So up you get, Matthew dear," I heard Dom's mother call as the unmistakeable sound of a table being laid filled the room.

"You heard her, stop messing around, Matt my love," before I could react to his choice of words however, I was suddenly yanked to my feet, vertigo rendering my vision temporarily useless as I stumbled into Dom's arms.  
  
  
                                                                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Matthew waltzing about in my slightly too-big PJ's was definitely a sight I wasn't used to, especially while my parents were about; it was like a strange sort of sweet torture.

It was weird, but true; what they say about seeing your sexual interest in your own clothes. There was just such a tempting pull, it was insane. I would never get used to the sight; it was a beautiful mixture of cute and sexy, all in one package.

And it was all only made worse when he helped Mum get cups and plates.

He had to reach up to grab them from the top cupboard, which caused the Queen t-shirt to lift up rather a bit; exposing a good deal of creamy-white flesh, the very low slung bottoms not helping at all. I kept nervously looking over to Dad, who was thankfully reading the paper, leaving me free to sneak peeks at my boyfriend's (God I couldn't believe he was actually now my boyfriend!) gorgeous hipbones and tempting treasure trail.

They were in fact _too_ low slung to be decent and I couldn't bring myself to look away, until he caught me drooling and cheekily flashed the t-shirt the whole way up, teasing me with the sight of his cute bellybutton and dark nipples, before turning around to help Mum with the tea, back to playing the innocent helper. I then quickly nervously looked at both my parents who thankfully hadn't seen the cheeky bastard, before sneakily returning to my perving.

"What are you so pink for now, Dominic?" Dad suddenly asked, making me jump as I pretended not to have been staring at Matt's arse.

"Uh, um, nothing, no reason," I shrugged, only going pinker.

"Hmm," Dad said not sounding too convinced, his own eyes now drifting towards Matt and Mum who were laughing about something in the kitchen. Mum was even rubbing his back encouragingly as he tried making some French toast too, the action driving me insanely jealous. "Well your mother certainly seems to like this 'Matthew.'"

"Of course, you would too if you gave him a chance," I grumbled in reply, as I got up from the table to go and help out. I wasn't in the mood to listen to him, I shouldn't have to defend my chosen relationship.

"Ooh, so you've decided to get off your lazy arse and help us out have-" Matt began to tease as I joined them, but I surprised us all by just pulling him into a brief, but extremely delicious, kiss.

I could hear my father grumble something and a rustle of the newspaper as he went back to reading, Mum gave me a warning look as she took the spatula from Matt, who was looking back at me with a strange little twinkle in his stunning, blue eyes.

I mouthed a little "I'm sorry" at him, but to my surprise, he reached out and gave my hand a squeeze, before turning to offer his services once more to Mum.

                                                                                                            ***  
  
"So, _Matthew_ , what do you do for a living?" Dad asked, timing his question just as Matt took a bite full of food. Seriously, how childish; I knew Matt wouldn't fail the old 'test', and thankfully he didn't as he chewed and swallowed before he replied.

"Um, I'm a journalist-"

"Just like our Nicky," Mum informed Dad happily, offering him some more tea.

"-um...not _exactly_." I could hear him trying his best to say it nicely, in the past he'd never made any secret of how much more noble his usual line of work was than my 'glammed up' excuse. "I actually go out and report, so I generally travel a lot, but not at the moment..."

Dad's ears perking up a bit at this, he continued the interrogation, "And why is that?"

"My father isn't too keen about me putting myself in danger, and seeing as he's one of the main honchoes at Sky, I have no choice but to keep him entertained. For now. So, yeah, anyway I've been producing, technical directing and writing articles in the mean time," Matt answered with a shrug and took another bite of his French toast. He was sitting directly opposite me, Mum having declared she wished to sit next to him.

"Your father's one of the heads?" Mum asked, now perking up herself quite a bit. God my parents could be embarrassing. "Ooh, nice work indeed, Nicky, he's not just got the looks and brains!" At this I think both my dad and I wanted to crawl under the table, while Matt just laughed good-naturedly.

"So, how old are you, sweetheart?" Mum asked, clearly not finished with the 'Ask Matt' debacle.

"27," he replied, as he reached over for his coffee, while his sneaky foot began rubbing against my leg under the table.

27...that's right he was several months younger than me, huh, funny to think that we'd been shagging like rabbits for awhile and yet there was still so much I had to learn about him.

"Ooh, and a younger man!"

"Mum," I groaned begging for her to stop, meanwhile Matt's foot was getting all the more cheekier, now sliding up along my inner thigh.

"So, Matthew, do you have any siblings?" Mum asked curiously, neatly cutting a bite out of her French toast.

After swallowing his mouthful he shook his head, "'fraid not, I'm an only child- hence all my father's fretting I suppose." He was looking at her completely innocently as my dad continued to study him carefully, all the while Matt had now begun to start rubbing my actual crotch with those long toes of his. God what a bastard, there was not so much as a hint on his features of what he was up to! "Probably why I also always managed to get away with so much too," at that I couldn't help but notice the brief look he shot me. Cheeky git.

"Hmm...like what pray tell?" Dad asked with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, the usual rebellious nonsense, I don't really wish to bore you," Matt shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee to hide the small smirk on his lips, from the fact that his touch was rapidly making me hard.

"No please, I insist, tell us a bit more about yourself, I'm curious to learn more," Dad insisted, while Mum shot him a warning look.

Matt, unperturbed, rose to the occasion as only he could. Shit, he really could be an arse when he wanted to be, though granted, Dad had quite literally asked for it.

"Oh, you know, just the usual drinking and partying from a young age, even dabbling rather a bit with narcotics and such, which evolved into a bit too much drinking and then all the sleeping around. The poor sap was concerned about all the girls he'd see me with, little did he know there was a good deal of blokes involved too, sometimes at the same time even. He thought it was brought on by my mother leaving us when I was a teen, or some such thing and hoped I'd grow out of it. So he was pleased when I wanted to work as a journalist and even helped get me my first job. At first I think he was glad when I began working on the field, it was no secret that I'd slept with most of the decent birds in the office or go out drinking until I could no longer see straight, though then his worrying only seemed to increase tenfold and I guess he'd rather have me home, so after 'putting up with it for too long' I ended up at Sky headquarters again," he finished with another shrug and sip of his coffee.

Shit, I really knew so little about him; about him growing up or that his mum had just left him and all the little issues he'd had to go through...

Both my parent had stopped eating and were staring back at him, rather taken aback, definitely not having expected him to be so forward and open.

"Don't worry though, when I got back I was too pissed off to even think about going out and drinking, I guess you could also say working out in the field sorta sobered me up a bit. I've also always been a good worker though, despite my outside behaviour."

"So, wait, you still also like women?" Dad asked, typically finding that to be of the most importance.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," Matt answered, now sinking a bit in his seat as he managed to get a better position to tease me. I was so grateful all the attention was on him; I was really beginning to get hot and flushed and despite my best efforts was squirming in my seat. "There's just something about both sexes to love..."

_Cheeky little shit._

I couldn't help smiling as I shook my head. My dad just went bright pink and nodded, suddenly finding eating his food far more interesting than interrogating my new boyfriend.

"Oh...so wait, does your father not know that you like men too? I just couldn't help but pick that up. Or am I mistaken?" Mum asked, sadly not as easily shaken off as Dad.

"Um...well, no, he doesn't. No one really does, except for Dominic. In the past it's really always just been hook-ups and one night stands when it came to blokes," Matt said, before finishing his food.

"Oh..." Mum said, clearly not too sure of what to say to that.

_Well you asked woman!_

"Well, it's mainly because of my line of work, " Matt corrected, his toes now making circular movements and causing me to have to bite down on my lip, so as not to moan.

"Oh, really, and why's that?" she asked- despite me having already informed her the previous night- so Matt explained his situation, Dad risking to look up at him and Mum again, to join in on the conversation, all the while I was forced to increase the pressure of my bite as he increased the pressure of those damn toes.

Why not try remove his foot? Well I'd tried that; only to receive a nasty little kick, before he'd just continued to shamelessly talk to my parents.

In the end, what I supposed he'd been most worried about, Matt managed to get them to promise not to mention our relationship to anyone. Though he may not as well have bothered when it came to Dad, most of his friends still didn't even know I was gay; he was hardly about to inform them that his only son had at last gone and found himself a man. Mum was obviously a different story and the look of disappointment was clear on her face. Such a contrast to Dad's of relief, perhaps there was some hope for him and Matt after all.

After breakfast I'd been grateful for the distraction of them asking more questions, but about the places he'd been to, and had used it to quickly excuse myself so I could take a (cold) shower. Thankfully Matt was the only one who looked up as I got up, smirking as I discreetly covered the tenting in my PJ's.

When I'd showered and changed, Mum had to shoo Matt away from the dishes, declaring that Dad and I could have some bonding over them later, seeing as how she and Matt made the food. It was still so weird to see him being so helpful and pleasant; he was getting along so well with mum and I could also tell Dad was desperately struggling to still not like him.

Matt then hunted down his clothing, which we'd put on the radiator to dry the night before, and got dressed, before saying he should head home as he still had work to do for tomorrow; Mondays always being the craziest.

"Well it was lovely to meet you, dear. You're the first boyfriend of Nicky's we've ever met, even if it was all by accident," Mum grinned and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. "Ooh, you've got lovely skin, you know? And you smell so good too!"

_And just when I thought I couldn't get any more embarrassed..._

"Oh, thanks," he smiled and shot me a sneaky smirk. Clearly I'd be hearing about this again later.

"Yes, well I'm glad we could get to meet you," Dad began, shaking his uninjured hand, thankfully choosing to end things off far more politely than they'd begun. "You must just be sure to treat our son right, as well as forgive me for still not being overly found of this whole thing. I'll try get used to it, it's just still too new for me. Luckily you seem nice enough."

"Uh, yes, of course I will. And don't worry about it, it's all pretty new to me too," Matt replied, still shaking Dad's hand, not the slightest bit intimidated by the bigger man. Something I knew my Dad was rather impressed by.

"Now we'll give you two boys some time to yourselves to say goodbye," Mum said grabbing Dad's hand and pulling him into the kitchen. "Come along, Brendan."

"So...they were a bit of a surprise," Matt said as I led the way to my front door.

"Well I had no idea you'd be randomly turning up, now did I? If only you'd opened your Goddamn stubborn eyes way back when I'd first asked you, you may not have had to been exposed to them for quite some time," I said with a shrug, as we stood in front of the door.

"Oh, Dominic, I'm so sorry I was such a bloody fool, and I promise I will try to do everything in my power to make it up to you," he said, his big blue eyes all sad as they stared searchingly into mine.

"You can bet damn straight you will!" I grinned, typical me avoiding the serious tone and trying to bring back up the mood. "Besides, I'm just glad you decided to give this a shot in the end; there's still plenty of time for you to make it up to me. Add on to that the fact that you started to give me a foot job right in front of my clueless parents!"

He just smiled back and shook his head, "A 'foot job'? Where did I find you? But I believe we're even in that department, as I was just getting you back for last night."

"True, true," I laughed.

"Anyway, I hope you're free Friday night; I have to get going on making everything up to you after all!" he grinned brightly, his wonky tooth poking out sweetly.

"Ooh, what have you got planned?" I asked as his unbandaged hand reached for my left.

"Oh, nothing too special, I thought we could just have a nice night in at mine and that I'd cook us some dinner; why not start with a simple first date?" he said, trying to shrug nonchalantly, but I caught the slight blush to his pale cheeks. I instinctively squeezed his hand affectionately.

"Ooh, sounds lovely. I'm already excited." And with that we both snuck a fairly awkward goodbye kiss, all too aware that despite what she'd said, my mum had an eye trained on us, before he called out his thanks once more and departed.

I was then left spending the rest of the day with a huge smile on my face, still not quite believing how everything had so suddenly changed in such a magnificent way.

Matthew. Matthew Bellamy was my boyfriend.


	21. Chapter 21

It was a tough week and it had just begun! Being back at work, but secretly dating Dominic felt so weird and surreal.  
  
So far though I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job of not blowing our cover, by basically keeping things the same as they always had been. Except now, when Dom came to me afterwards, or even risked following me to the bathrooms, I'd have to turn him down.  
  
'Turn him down? Why?!' You ask? Well simply because I wanted the next time we had sex to be special. Okay, yes, what happened to me, _why_ am I suddenly such a sentimental sap? Well I blame it on these new... _feelings_...  
  
I can't remember the last time I felt this way about someone- anyone- and it had taken me fucking up to realise it all, I don't want to ruin it again; Dom deserves so much more and I made a promise to him. I promised I'd make it up to him; and I don't go back on my word.  
  
So however tempting his, now near constant, attempts to get my pants down were, I had to turn him away. Trust me, it was most definitely not easy on me; going from shagging nearly consistently, at least twice a day, to having gotten none for 19 days (I'd been counting- naturally), with only a little feeling up from him somewhere in between. I was quite literally dying.  
  
 _Jesus,_ 19 _fucking days?! Bloody hell, what_ is _happening to me?_  
  
But hey, we only had to wait until Friday, until our first date. He could totally handle that, surely? I could survive. We could definitely wait... Right?  
  
  
                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"I still can't believe you actually managed to do it, I'm still in a state of shock, I swear...but then how do I know for sure you're telling the truth- aside from the fact you're looking so much happier lately?" Jess asked, twiddling a pen in her hand as I sat leaning in my chair.  
  
We were on set, waiting to start, the others still hurrying around and setting up.  
  
"It's the truth, I promise! Haven't you noticed how he keeps sneaking a glance my way every now and then? It's so cute, he thinks he's being so discrete," I chuckled, looking over at Matt, who was talking to Chris a little way away from us.  
  
"Huh, so...well if it is true-"  
  
"Which it is," I hurriedly reassured her.  
  
"-then how's the sex, now that you're an 'item'?" she asked, the both of us trying not to giggle as, at that moment, Matt snuck a glance our way, only to frown when he saw us both shrug questioningly at him.  
  
"Well that's just it, every time I try to make a move he just brushes me off- going on about 'I want it to be perfect', 'Not now', 'Wait Dom, you can do that surely?'; it's aggravating- what's the point of us now being together if we do even less than when we weren't dating?" I asked, rolling my eyes.  
  
"Seriously? But after everything, I would've thought he'd be desperately trying to make things up to you..."  
  
"Hmm, that's the main problem; it's the whole reason why we now have to 'wait'," I said, shuffling the notes in front of me.  
  
"But what's the point of your boyfriend having such a cute arse and you not being able to have your way with it?" she asked with the most innocent of voices, while I caught her openly staring at said arse, while he bent over a table to go over some things with Chris.  
  
"Jess! Oi, keep your eyes to yourself! Plus, it doesn't usually work like that..." I said, feeling my cheeks going pink.  
  
"Dom? What do you mean? Surely you top too?" she asked, thankfully looking back at me.  
  
"He's just a natural top, plus I've always liked being at the bottom, it's really fine. He also said we could switch it up sometime. In front of my parents in fact, before he was aware they were there..."  
  
"Oh, my God! So not only did you two kiss in front of them, but he also spoke about your sexual positions? That's hilarious!!" she sniggered, holding her hand over her mouth to stop laughing.  
  
"Dad wasn't too impressed..."  
  
"No, I can't imagine he would've been," she giggled, shaking her head. "Well then, Dommy, it's clear."  
  
"It is? What is?" I asked confused by her sudden statement.  
  
"You're just gonna have to take control! Plus he still needs to be punished- if you know what I mean," she said with a secretive wink. "He should be put in his place. Plus the bloke's still rather an arse and I'd just love to see him being controlled! He just used you in the past- it's now your turn!"  
  
"JESS! Voyeuristic much!" I said in a mock shocked whisper. "And what exactly are you insinuating?"  
  
"Oh God, Dommy, you can tell me about it- I don't really fancy getting in on the action...but then again, I'm not exactly getting any lately either, now am I?" she joked, her eyes teasing as she comically dragged them over Matthew's arse again.  
  
"That's it, never mind my troubles! We've got to find you a man fast, if only to keep you away from mine!" I laughed, just as Chris and Matt parted, both barking orders to the various people around. "But for now? Work time."  
  
"Good luck guys!" Chris grinned at us as he took his place, I also caught Matt's wink at me as he went to his, before shouting at Tom to 'stop fooling around'.  
  
Maybe Jess was on to something? I don't think I can wait until Friday...plus she gave me a really good idea... Jeez, how the hell am I supposed to go through prime time now with all these thoughts?  
  
  
                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
When I could at last pack my stuff up and head home, my work for the day finished and the office area empty, except for myself, I couldn't help but feel a little miffed that Dominic had clearly already left and without having bid me farewell even.  
  
But then I suppose he's miffed himself, with me having refused hooking up again all weekend and then again the past two days...but I was sticking to my word, Friday was going to be perfect. He (and myself) just had to wait.  
  
As I gathered my laptop case, after having put my jacket on, I turned off my office light and locked the door; surprised to see that the main office's lights were also off...  
  
 _Okay, just a little weird..._  
  
Shaking my head, and the strange feeling that had taken over me, off, I kept walking towards the elevators. I was just being silly right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and something was pulled tight over my eyes, blocking out my vision completely. I was just about to seriously make a go at my assailant, preparing to give them a vicious back kick, when suddenly they decided to speak.  
  
"Matthew, relax, it's just me."  
  
"Dominic?" I gasped, halting my actions. "Jesus, I was just about to put you out of commission! What the fuck are you doing anyway?" I asked the blonde, trying to pull my hands out of his grasp.  
  
"You've been a bad boy and need to be punished," he growled into my ear, in an uncharacteristically firm voice.  
  
"Sorry, _what?_ " I asked, as I felt him push me forward.  
  
"After everything, you said you wanted to make it up to me remember? Well this is it; I'm going to punish you," he growled, properly shoving me forward. "So keep walking, I'll guide you."  
  
"Um, _okaaay_ _?_ " I answered, still somewhat startled by his sudden change of character. Dominic wasn't the dominating one in our relationship, he'd also never really showed any signs of this side before; perhaps that's why I just let him keep shoving me forward.  
  
The fact that I was also still desperate to make things up to him and better, also helped let me follow his instructions, something I usually wouldn't do. I'm my own man after all.  
  
When we approached the front desk, he finally removed the blindfold, but warned me not to look back at him, I had to just keep walking to the car park and then just wait outside his car for him to put it back on. No matter what I wasn't allowed to look at him.  
  
  
After riding in the car with him, blindfold firmly in place the entire time, I felt all hyped up with a strange mixture of feelings: ranging from annoyed to excited and confused, even strangely turned on...but mainly confused, as he pulled me along carefully up stairs. We were clearly at his. Yes, after what must've been four flights we came to a stop and I heard the sound of keys as he finally let go of me.  
  
"Don't you dare move or take that blindfold off," he warned, and for some reason I obeyed.  
  
When at last I heard the door open, he shoved me inside, shortly before the sound of it being closed and locked again.  
  
"Um, Dominic, what exactly do you plan-"  
  
"Ah-uh, no talking, don't make me gag you too now," he warned in the same commanding voice, prompting me to follow his request as he pushed me forward. I'd been to Dom's more than enough to know the direction of his bedroom, even blindfolded.  
  
"Dom, not the bedroom. I've already explained to you that we need to make our first time as a couple something special and-" he instantly silenced me with his hand covering my mouth, after I heard the bedroom door close behind us.  
  
"So, I can see we're gonna need a gag then too...and trust me, Matt, this _will_ be special," and just like that I was shoved into his room. "Now start stripping, sexy," he said slapping my arse suddenly and causing me to jump a bit.  
  
"No, Dominic, I'm serious," I said, finally putting my foot down. "I don't know what the fuck you've gone and planned, but I must insist we wait."  
  
He just ignored me flat and I could hear him rummaging around, cursing as he searched for something. Naturally I lifted the blindfold a bit to see what the crazy blonde was up to.  
  
"Dom, seriously, did you even hear what I said?" I asked, my voice showing my annoyance: the emotion that had finally won. He was still wearing his work clothes, so he clearly hadn't left and instead had just waited, hidden, to pounce at the office.  
  
"Matt! I told you not to remove that!" he growled and stormed over, the items he'd found behind his back. "Put it back on now!"  
  
"But you can't be serious?! What-"  
  
"Do you want to make it up to me or not?" he asked, stopping just in front of me, the smell of his aftershave reaching me and making my thinking more sluggish. I did want to make it up to him, I just didn't think this was the way... "Please, Matt, just do it."  
  
It was the sad, pleading look in his grey eyes, despite his controlled and stern looking features, that made me do it. Albeit with a frown and grumble.  
  
"Fine, but I don't know if I like what you're planning."  
  
"Matt," he sighed. "Just shut up and strip."  
  
So, begrudgingly I followed his orders, loosening and taking my tie off, before pulling my shoes and socks off and then my shirt and trousers, pausing when I reached my boxers.  
  
"Will you at least tell me what you're up to?" I asked, thumbs dipped under the waistband of my boxers.  
  
"What the fuck do you think?" he asked.  
  
 _Okaaay._  
  
And just like that, before I knew what was happening he'd shoved me onto his bed and grabbed one of my hands, before strapping something around the wrist and pulling it back above my head. Then he pulled my other arm up to join the first, strapping it in too. Cuffs.  
  
"Like I said, Matthew, you've been bad and need to be punished," he growled into my ear, licking the shell, before swiftly pulling off my boxers, leaving me completely bare and vulnerable to him, all the while unable to see a thing. I'm not even really ashamed to say that the thought heated me up a bit and I bit my bottom lip, before asking, "So, what exactly are you planing on doing? Seeing as you're determined to ruin making our first time as a couple something special."  
  
"Oh, but Matthew, Matty-Matt-Matt-Matthew, haven't I already informed you that this _will_ be special?" he asked, his hand stroking along my side, invoking a slight tremor from me.  
  
"That may very well be, but you still haven't answered my question," I stated, only to receive a little chuckle from him.  
  
"Why don't I show you instead?" he asked, his voice thick with persuasion, while I felt his hands move down along my body, both countering one another as they stroked down my sides, dipping between my thighs halfway down and nudging them further apart.  
  
  
                                                                                             ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
I could see he was trying his hardest to go along with this and not shoot back rude comments, Matt was definitely not a natural sub by any means, but that just seemed to get me all the more excited as I leaned over to the bedside drawer to pull out the remaining supplies.  
  
"What are you up to down there?" he asked, annoyance, with a hint of something else (desire?), clear in his voice, as I settled between his legs, pushing them even further apart.  
  
Instead of answering him however, I picked up one of the items- I'd especially bought it yesterday after thinking about what Jess had said- and the lube, so that I could apply some on the red, ring-like object. Deciding it was sufficiently lubricated, I reached out and took hold of Matt's balls, causing him to instantly tense up, his legs curling behind me, trying to kick me to let go.  
  
"Dominic, I'm all for going along with whatever hair brained scheme you have planed to 'punish' me with- I've even let you cuff me up to your bed- but this is where I draw the line," he warned, still seeming threatening despite the fact he was cuffed butt-naked to my bed with a blindfold over his eyes.  
  
"Relax, Matt. Jesus, no need to get your nuts in a knot," I laughed and I swear I could sense him roll his eyes, even with the blindfold on!  
  
Shaking my head though, I just got back to work, pulling first one and then the second of his balls through the rubber ring, before squeezing his half-hard cock through the rest of the little remaining space.  
  
"Is that what I think it is?!" he asked, voice raising in pitch, his hips bucking up a bit as I pulled the ring down and in place.  
  
"A cock ring?" I asked, my voice perfectly innocent. "Yes it is; it's a little gift I bought you. I'm rather impressed myself that it would appear I guessed your size pretty well, but then again it's not like I'm unfamiliar with your gorgeous cock, now am I?" I said, licking up along his shaft, enjoying the whimper it drew from him, as his cock twitched in response.  
  
"So-so how are you...planning on...punishing me?" he gasped as I repeated the action, his cock very rapidly hardening fully.  
  
" _Slowly,_ " I said, drawing the word out, as I quickly lubed up the second item I'd purchased. " _Teasingly_ , I'm gonna make you beg for it, and then-" I continued, before pushing the butt plug all the way home, into his incredibly tight entrance.  
  
"HOLY CUNTING FUCK, WHAT THE-"  
  
"-I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before."  
  
"JESUS! WHERE WAS THE FUCKING WARNING?!!" he cried out again, his voice a strange strangled sound of surprise and anger. "You should know by now I'm not used to that sort of thing," he finished off on a whimper of pain, I could feel his legs curling around me, his knees trying to conk in.  
  
I can't lie, I felt a major stab of guilt as I looked down at him pulling on his restraints and the hurt sound in his voice, his face (of what wasn't covered by the blindfold) contorted, but then I had said this was punishment hadn't I? He'd also said he'd do pretty much anything to make it up to me. Not to mention that I could also top occasionally; well, quite frankly, the time had come!  
  
The guilt quickly faded however, when I got a proper good look at his body, cuffed to my bed, ready and waiting; his trapped cock swollen considerably, veins having become more prominent, as it throbbed eagerly, despite his complaints, the butt plug firmly in place. He looked divine, stretched out before me, his pale skin tempting me, the long column of his throat stretched out as his head fell back, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed; he knew he was trapped and helpless.  
  
"Fuck, you look incredible," I moaned, taking off my tie and throwing it aside.  
  
"I wouldn't know, it's not like I can see anything," he grumbled. "Plus my nose is really starting to itch and I can't scratch it. I'm sure the plug is also fucking tearing me open from the inside."  
  
"God, Matt, maybe I really should just gag you, you're killing the mood," I bitched, as I clambered onto him.  
  
"Well it's true! I'm lying here, unaware of what's happening, trapped, while you shove things in me and try to squeeze the life out of my dick. Seriously I sh- urngghhh, oh God," he groaned, instantly stopping his complaining as I began to lap away at his exposed left armpit.  
  
"That's what I thought," I drawled, curling my tongue into the feather-soft hair, revelling in his mewling and the way he'd begun to start rubbing his bare feet against my back.  
  
"I...thought...I thought this was...supposed to be...punishment?" he managed, as I'd started to tug teasingly on the hair now with my teeth.  
  
"Well, who said punishment couldn't be sweet?" I asked, managing to pull away from the sweet musk of his underarm, only to stroke my hand teasingly over his prominent hipbone, bringing it painfully close to his visibly twitching cock.  
  
"Howard, touch me, please," he begged, his hips rising to try and meet my hand.  
  
"Ooh, but I thought you wanted to wait until Friday?" I asked coyly, tracing the dips of his hips with both my index fingers. "And like I've told you a billion times, call me Dom," I added, teasingly stopping at the top of the dark hair surrounding his swollen cock.  
  
"Fine, fine, _Dom_ , please would you touch me? Fuck friday!" he asked, hips squirming, causing his flat stomach to bunch up, as his breathing speed up too.  
  
"God, you are easy, I didn't think I'd have you begging so quickly," I chuckled, straightening back up, my legs straddling his thighs, as I finally began to unbutton my own shirt.  
  
"Well what the fuck did you expect? You know how long it's been since someone touched me," he grumbled, settling for rubbing his- apparently still itchy- nose against the inside of his left arm.  
  
"Do I, do I really know? Let's not forget you never made it a secret that I wasn't the only one..." I stated, unbuckling my belt now, shirt long since having hit the floor to join my tie. I couldn't help but smirk at the way his impatient cock reacted to the sound of my trousers' fly being undone.  
  
"Well you do, you were the last, after everything I just was too confused and pissed off to even bother with anyone else...I couldn't get you off my mind," he replied, his voice barely audible.  
  
"Really?" I asked, getting up to pull my trousers off, leaving me in just my boxers as I mounted his slim waist again. He just nodded, turning his head, as if trying to hide from my gaze. "Well then, you really are a stupid man," I growled, making his head snap forward again at my sudden change of tone.  
  
"Excuse you! I was _being_ stupid, but that doesn't make me stupid," he objected, trying to draw his legs up, only to wince as he only succeeded in pushing the butt plug in deeper. "Fuck," he groaned, only making my smile even bigger and my boxers all the more restricting. "Why must you insist on this thing? Take it out dammit!"  
  
"Hmm, let me think about that," I said, tugging the base of the plug out a bit, enjoying the way he bit his bottom lip at the release, spreading his legs a bit more to allow me better access; only for me to laugh, before jamming it straight back in, "No."  
  
"FUCKING HELL!!"  
  
"Now that's the Matt I remember," I grinned, crawling to lie over him properly, before licking from his sharp collarbone, all the way up his throat to the corner of his mouth. "A screamer."  
  
"Stop fucking with me," he groaned, bringing his hips up to rub himself against my own, boxer-clad, crotch, the action causing him to shudder with pleasure.  
  
"Extra sensitive now, eh?" I grinned, my teeth tugging on his earlobe, as I brought my left hand up to rake through his dark hair, which was quickly dampening with sweat as he continued to grind up against me, his body still shuddering, deep groans escaping from his open mouth.  
  
Looking at his pink lips reminded me that I still hadn't kissed him in what felt like forever, so I very quickly fixed that, by leaning in forward and roughly covering his mouth with my own. Like clockwork, his tongue eagerly began pushing against my lips, so I allowed him access, enjoying the familiar feeling of his greedy tongue dominating my mouth. He really did always love cutting to the chase, especially when kissing was involved. But then I was reminded that I was supposed to be in charge, so I grabbed hold of his lower jaw, securing it between my thumb and forefinger, as I pulled away.  
  
"Ah-uh, I'm in charge, Bellamy," I reprimanded, as he panted, jaw still firmly in my grasp.  
  
"Oh, really?" he smirked, his hips now rising to grind more roughly against my hardened arousal. "We both know that no matter whether I'm tied up or not, I'll always be the dominant one."  
  
"Oi, do you want to make it up to me or not? I'm supposed to be desciplining you, you cheeky bastard!" I growled, letting go of his jaw to reach between us and finally grab him, putting a stop to his hip actions and making him let out a deep wanton groan.  
  
"Well then, why don't you?" he challenged, only to start grinding into my hand, a cheeky smirk stretched across his face.  
  
"Be careful what you ask for," I grinned and licked my lips.  
  
"Oh, I think I'll take my chances," he replied, his shoulders attempting to shrug, despite them being pulled back due to his cuffed wrists above his head.  
  
"Is that so?" I asked, sliding down his body, dragging my hands all the way from his trapped wrists, down his restrained arms and along his finely toned torso, sure to skirt his groin as I moved my hands down his slim thighs; getting my fill of his addictively silky skin.  
  
"What're you doing now?" he asked, his head leaning forward as he blindly tried to see through the scarf tied over his eyes.  
  
"You'll enjoy it, trust me, this is supposed to be blissful torture after all," I said, a hand on either thigh, while I leaned my head down to lick at his retrained balls and then straight along his length. I definitely got the desired reaction, as his head rolled back and he began to moan as I repeatedly did it again and again, the stimulation to the extra hypersensitive area driving him wild.  
  
And just when he started raising his hips to meet my touch, I drew away, licking instead up along his treasure trail, nipping at the dark hair, before briefly dipping my tongue into his bellybutton and swirling it around, inducing a high-pitched moan from him, and then continuing up to his nipples.  
  
"Please, Dom, God," he groaned, the colour draining from his bottom lip as he bit on it, my slow caressing of the darkened nubs with my tongue too much. I knew if it hadn't been for the ring, he'd definitely have come by now, his fists continuously clenching and unclenching in their cuffed state.  
  
"What's that?" I asked, before sliding my teeth over his left nipple, only ensuring more moaning and squirming from him.  
  
"Just untie me and let me take this blindfold off, so that I can fuck you already!" he begged, pulling and struggling with the leather cuffs.  
  
"Sorry what? Hasn't the object shoved up your arse or what I told you earlier even vaguely registered? I'm going to be the one doing the fucking around here," I growled, before biting down now instead on a nipple, making him cry out. "Exactly; it's time I hear your screaming again, Matthew," I chuckled, caressing the side of his face.  
  
"Was that really necessary?!"  
  
"Well you always liked it a bit rough in the past," I pointed out, before roughly grinding down on his sensitive crotch, only encouraging him to meet me for every roll of my hips; his only answer.  
  
Well if he thought I was just gonna take him like that, he had another thing coming. I wanted to hear him beg and plead for me to fuck him, to finally put him in his place.  
  
With that in mind, I began to teasingly suck on his pulse point, before moving back down to his perfectly sensitive underarms, my left hand toying with the sparse hair leading down his navel and also near his cock, the right massaging the top of his scalp, careful not to move the scarf acting as his blindfold. I can't say I was too surprised that he very quickly came undone completely, desperate for more, but I just lifted my hips too high off him.  
  
"Why don't you just ask? That's all you have to do and I'll stop playing," I whispered into his ear, before licking along its ridges. At this point he was trembling and moaning constantly, clearly having reached breaking point.  
  
"Please," he finally whispered, as I sucked on his bottom lip, pulling at it as I snagged the juicy flesh between my front teeth, before releasing it to grin at him.  
  
"Sorry, what? I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little more specific," I said, ceasing my hands' sweet teasing, to trace his cheekbones, which were poking under the azure scarf, with my thumbs.  
  
"Dom, please, just do it," he pleaded, his voice still soft, as he pulled some more on his wrists' restraints.  
  
"Come again?" I said, feeling a huge grin spread across my face as I climbed off of him, to strip my boxers off.  
  
"Dom?!" he suddenly asked, no longer sure of where I was, as he tried bringing his head up.  
  
"Oh, I'm right here, just waiting for you to say it properly," I answered, tearing open a condom as softly as I could, before quietly rolling it in place. I can't really say I was a fan of the damn things, but like I'd assured Mum: I always was safe. Seeing as Matt and I are together now though...I'm sure if we got tested and, well, if we were both cleared...  
  
 _God that would be good._  
  
"What? What do you want me to say?!" he demanded, banging his cuffed wrists against my headboard, his patience having now completely evaporated.  
  
"Oh, but you already know," I chuckled, popping the lube open to coat myself now. The sound of the cap opening clearly carrying through to him, as he whined (I kid you not) and thrashed, desperate to break free. "Come on, Matthew, we don't want you to hurt yourself on those cuffs now. Don't forget your injured right hand either."  
  
Clearly it was finally too much and he grumbled, but mainly to himself, "Okay, fine, please fuck me."  
  
"Sorry?" I asked again. "I'm not quite sure I heard you properly." It was just too good, I could feel my cock throbbing, desperate and just as impatient as he clearly and obviously was.  
  
"Fuck me, please," he said a little louder, his struggling having come to an end.  
  
"Again?" I couldn't resist.  
  
"JUST FUCK ME ALREADY!!" he shouted, spreading his legs wide and raising his hips.  
  
 _Fuck._  
  
No further encouragement needed, I happily crawled back onto the bed and between his legs. After all the teasing and coaxing, I couldn't wait any longer, foreplay was definitely over and I thanked the stars that I'd thought of a butt plug before hand.  
  
"You ready, babe?" I asked, knowing I'd get a rise out of him. I naturally wasn't disappointed as his mouth went into a hard line.  
  
"Just get this fucking thing out of me, and maybe I'll go easy on you for that," he growled, while I pushed his knees up against his chest.  
  
"Your wish is my command!" I sang, as I grabbed hold of the base of the plug and yanked it out with a 'delightful' squelching sound, his body stretching out, relaxed, in response, as I threw the plug to the floor, before getting ready to line us up.  
  
"Thank fuck. Never again, that was literally _the_ wors-" but before he'd even finished his new round of complaints, I went straight for it and pushed my rock-hard cock home, easily managing to pass through his slicked and stretched entrance.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AND WARNINGS ALL OF A SUDDEN?!!" he yelled as I pushed forward, moving his legs further apart so I could go deeper.  
  
 _God, I'd forgotten how perfectly tight and warm he was, and so bloody flexible, he really should bottom more._  
  
"JESUS, WATCH IT!! FUCK IT HURTS!! GODDAMMIT!!"  
  
 _And then again..._  
  
"Hush, stop freaking complaining for a moment and just let me take care of you!" I instructed, face-to-face with the- cursing and whimpering, blindfolded man beneath me.  
  
"Easy for you to say! You're not the one with someone's giant fucking dick jammed up your arse!!" he whined, before crying out loudly as I pushed deeper still.  
  
"Aww, you think I have a big dick," I cooed, ignoring his constant swearing and moaning.  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" he growled, just as I'd began to withdraw a bit.  
  
"Come on, Matt. If you'd stop being so bloody dramatic and just let me get on with it, you'll really start to enjoy yourself. You can't fool me! You liked it last time!"  
  
"Fine! Then start 'getting on with it' already!!"  
  
 _Okay, that's it. Next time I'm gonna get him pissed up. I can't deal with him bottoming sober if he's like this._  
  
Just then however, when I plunged back, balls deep, I must've hit his prostate, as he cried out (the loudest yet I'd like to point out) in that, almost forgotten, lust-filled scream of pleasure I recalled from our first time.  
  
"Better?" I asked, even though I new the answer as I began to build up a rhythm of slow, deep thrusts, his restrained cock trapped even further by our bodies, most likely only adding to the sudden pleasure I knew was burning him up as he cried out now in desire and no longer pain.  
  
"Yes, yes, fuck yes, yes..." he nodded furiously, trailing off in a mantra of sorts as the rhythm steadily picked up.  
  
"Okay then," I smiled down at his unseeing face, before I gave him one beautifully deep thrust, in which I tried to mimic this weird twist he would sometimes use on me, which never failed to drive me insane.  
  
I'm pleased to say I must've done it right as he really showed me what those lunges of his could produce; one erotically long, deep cry, in which I'd finally had enough. I wanted to look into those perfect, ridiculously pretty eyes of his. So I reached over and, in one rough pull, yanked the damn blindfold off of him, throwing it carelessly to the side.  
  
His eyes instantly snapped open, blinking in the sudden light, but quickly tried to focus on me, their usual startling-blue almost completely swallowed up by his lust-filled pupils.  
  
"Dom," he rasped, my thrusting having halted as I was lost in his mesmerising gaze.  
  
"Matt?" I asked, my breathing already heavy and matching his.  
  
"Just fucking...kiss me...already," he breathed, our faces already so close that I could feel his warm, panted words on my skin.  
  
He didn't have to ask again this time. I leaned forward that last inch and our lips quickly reunited, tongues sneaking out to lap against one another and seek out each other's mouths. As we continued our hot kissing, I picked up the thrusting right where I'd left off, but this time much quicker and harder, my mouth stealing all his screams and cries.  
  
It didn't take long though for him to break off the kiss to scream "DOM!!" as his body convulsed and he came, probably the hardest I'd ever seen him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as hot, sticky wetness shot between us, slicking up our- already sweat covered- rubbing bodies even more. Quite frankly I was surprised he'd managed as long as he had, ring or not.  
  
The tremors and flutters from his orgasm washing over him, his core gripping and pulling at my cock erratically and powerfully, were what finally did it for me, helping to pull me over the edge too, as I continued to pound away into his slender body, unable to tear my eyes from his erotically blissed out face.  
  
When I'd eventually rode out all I had to give, I noticed he'd finally managed to gain focus of his eyes and was staring deeply at me, his dark fringe hanging over his, now lazy, eyes. Still breathing heavily and not keen on speaking just yet, needing to properly catch my breath still, I simply brushed the sweaty, dark hair out of his face and pressed a kiss to his already kiss-swollen lips.  
  
He contentedly sighed into the kiss, the sound of his tired arms clinking the metal rings between his leather cuffs, reminding me he was still tied up. So I drew together what was left of my strength and moved to free him, only for his arms to fall down limply once I'd completed the task.  
  
"And? Thought you'd at least use them to hold me, or at least use your hands," I sighed, my voice all husky and weak.  
  
"Too...tired. Not. Now," he- just- managed, his eyes beginning to flutter shut. I was just about to exclaim in amazement that I'd out shagged the demon he was, when all of a sudden he jerked straight up into a sitting position.  
  
"What are you up to?" I asked, only for my question to quickly be answered when he reached between his legs and tried to remove the red cock ring, but his movements were slow and clumsy. "Here, let me help you," I smiled and batted his long fingers out the way so that I could quickly do the honours, of pulling his softening cock out of the ring, before gently freeing his balls too and tossing the rubber ring aside.  
  
"Perfect, now sleep," he said yawning and stretching his stiff arms, briefly rubbing his raw wrists before collapsing back down on the bed. "Haven't used one of those in a long time," he grumbled, his injured right hand lightly rubbing his balls and the base of his cock soothingly.  
  
"Like I said earlier: dramatic," I commented, rolling my eyes. "And anyway we both know you enjoyed it."  
  
"Oi, did you just roll your eyes?" he asked, narrowing his own at me in mock offence. "Only I'm allowed to do that!"  
  
"Oh really?" I asked, getting up to dispose of the condom quickly, too lazy to go get a cloth to clean us off with, so I just went and joined him, lying back down on my bed, absolutely finished.  
  
"Really," he grinned mischievously, before scrambling on top of me.  
  
"Matt, as much fun as it is that we can now shag again, I'm sorry; I'm just far too tired for another round. It's been a crazy past couple weeks."  
  
"Oh, I know, and trust me, you're not alone," he replied matter of factly, stretching his body tiredly over mine, before collapsing properly on top of me.  
  
"Um, then what are you doing exactly?" I asked, curiously, but could already feel myself slipping into sleep, despite his extra weight atop me. It wasn't like he was particularly heavy.  
  
"Oh you know, revenge," he stated simply, before his wicked long fingers began to attack my sides, his fatigue clearly having been forgotten. "For kidnapping me, sticking things into me and 'torturing' me- you must remind me to show you proper sexual teasing some day- and then making me bottom. My arse is already killing!"  
  
His fingers were making me squirm and laugh, despite my body being so finished, but it was too much and some how- thank the gods- I managed to use my last ounce of energy to grab the little nuisance and draw him up in my arms, before turning us so that I could spoon him from the back.  
  
"Firstly, aren't you thankful I grabbed you? Friday was just too long to wait. Secondly, you enjoyed all of it you stubborn arse and, thirdly, you told me I could top now and again too! So stop bitching," I said, wrapping my arms tightly around him to prevent a counter attack, but none came.  
  
"Fine, okay, whatever," he grumbled, only to yawn loudly, before snuggling up against me. "Well, we're even now. I do believe this more than made up for everything."  
  
"Hmm perhaps, yes," I smiled into his hair, the familiar scent warming something within me, as I buried my nose more into the still sweat-dampened locks. "Thank you, Matt."  
  
"Sure," he yawned again, pulling his right arm out from under my hold, only to put it over mine, to pull me even closer, as he snuggled up to it.  
  
"Goodnight, babe," I said, unable to help myself.  
  
But much to my surprise he just let out a tired chuckle. "G'night, Dom."  
  
And just like that, my chest incredibly warm within and my boyfriend (Yes I still wasn't over that fact yet!) tightly cuddled against me and in my arms, the sounds of his dreaming soon filling the now quiet room; I fell asleep, perfectly content and happy, the biggest of all smiles stretched across my lips.


	22. Chapter 22

"Matt, Matty, we've gotta get up, babe," I could hear Dom say, as he pulled me off of him.  
  
"Hmmph..." was all I could manage in reply, as I then turned and curled up in the duvet, desperate for more sleep.  
  
"We still have work today," he urged, pulling the duvet off of me, leaving me to shiver naked in the cool breeze, no doubt coming from an open window.  
  
I just whined this time, not fully coherent as I reached around blindly for the duvet.  
  
"If you could see yourself right now, you'd definitely cut it out," he pointed out in a light, amused tone.  
  
"Piss off," I grumbled, grabbing a pillow from where he'd slept and cuddled into it.  
  
"Well that's a nice greeting, especially after how I rocked your world last night," he huffed, though his voice still sounded playful.  
  
"Pleasure," I replied, in no mood to be properly responsive or to even open my eyes.  
  
"Alrighty then, I can see I'm gonna have to take things into my own hands- literally."  
  
Then, before I could even fully register what he'd said, I suddenly felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, as he yanked me out of bed, causing me to shriek with fright as my eyes shot open.  
  
"You really are rather light," he giggled shifting my weight, so that I was properly cradled in his arms. I just glared back menacingly at him, only for him to lean his head forward to peck me on the forehead. "Morning, not so sunny, sunshine."  
  
"Put me down, Dom, before I hurt you," I said, with my customary eyeroll.  
  
"With pleasure," he grinned, suddenly dropping me.  
  
"What the fuck?!" I yelped, rubbing my butt as I struggled back to my feet. "You think my arse's not sore enough?"  
  
"Oh, Matt, stop being so damn grumpy," he laughed, before swiftly slapping my arse as I bent to grab my boxers off the floor, only for him to then also toss them further aside.  
  
"Dominic!!"  
  
"Come, let's shower, then we should really get ready and rush to work- separately of course," he added, as I shot him a look.  
  
"Fine. I'll shower first," I said, stretching my arms above my head, still stiff from being tied up the previous night, conscious of the way his eyes were watching the movement closely.  
  
"Well, actually, I was just thinking...we should shower together?"  
  
"As much as I love that suggestion- and I really do, don't get me wrong- but; firstly, I don't wanna wear a condom in the fucking shower and I'm not about to have you near my throbbing arse just yet and, secondly, let's at least leave some build up for Friday, eh?" I said, now rolling my hips.  
  
"Um, what if you didn't need to wear a condom?" he asked. "I wasn't suggesting we get up to anything...we hardly have the time anyway."  
  
"Hmm..." I considered as I bent to stretch my back, only to feel a stab in my arse. Jesus, surely it hadn't hurt this much last time?! But then I'd been hungover and had had a spliting headache and was stressed about Dom telling someone...lot's of distractions then.  
  
"Come on, Matt, it'll save time and water," he insisted, grabbing my hand and whisking me off to his bathroom, but walking hurt like hell and I was definitely bandy-legging it. "You really are very over dramatic, you know?" he asked with a grin and laugh, as he turned the shower on, watching me hobble into the bathroom after him.  
  
"Har har," I grumbled, still rubbing my butt. "I've told you, I top- this is exactly why."  
  
"Come on though, it really isn't that bad," Dom argued. "You're acting like a first timer, I swear."  
  
"Well I'm not used to it, it was only my third time ever, for God's sake," I said, as he tested to see if the water was warm yet.  
  
"Wait," he said, suddenly stopping his actions. "Surely you've done it more?"  
  
"Nope, you're only the second bloke who's had the privilege of getting anywhere near my arse," I admitted, making his mouth hang open even more.  
  
"Seriously? But, what, how come?" he asked, the running shower water long since having been forgotten.  
  
"The first time was horrendous, I told the guy to pull out the second he'd put his cock in- since then I'd just avoided it; until you got me hammered that is..." I shrugged with a sigh.  
  
"Wow, huh, their loss; you've got a bloody fine arse on you," he grinned cheekily, before hopping into the shower. "And I promise, it really gets better with more practise," he added with a wink.  
  
"Please, I said 'occasionally', let's not get carried away now," I reminded him, as he beckoned for me to join him.  
  
"Oh, Matt, you really are a real ray of sunshine, you know," he sighed, but smiled, as he drew the curtain and pulled me under the spray.  
  
The warm water felt amazing on my aching muscles and I started to instantly relax; only blissing out even more when he grabbed some shower gel and began to scrub me clean. It definitely never felt this good when I washed myself, I thought, sighing deeply as his hands swirled around my chest, only to be distracted from his hands, as he pulled me into a heavy kiss. Until his hands reached back behind me, grabbing my arse and making me yelp and jump.  
  
"Watch it!"  
  
"Oh, Matt," he sighed, but pulled me back into a kiss and started kneading my arsecheeks cautiously instead, leaving me to hum appreciatively into his mouth.  
  
"Can I wash your hair too?" he asked, pulling out of the kiss, his hands still rubbing all over my body, despite all the gel having long since been washed away.  
  
"Of course, I'd love that, it got so sweaty last night," I grimaced, only for him to kiss the tip of my nose, before spinning me to face the shower wall.  
  
"'s fine, you looked hot the whole time," he grinned and, as if to prove the point, I could feel his half-hard cock pressing into my lower back.  
  
"But then when don't I?" I joked, shoulders briefly tensing as I felt the squirt of cold shampoo land on my head. I very quickly relaxed though, when I felt his hands build up a good lather, fingers rubbing my sculp divinely, as my head rolled back into his touch, my throat humming away happily. "Hmmm...s'good," I groaned, as his lips began sucking wet kisses along the back of my neck and shoulders, his fingers still thoroughly scrubbing away.  
  
"I can tell," he grinned into my ear, just as his hand curled around my cock. "You're as hard as fuck."  
  
The action caused me to shiver with pleasure, as he began to firmly tug and tease me. Panting, my soapy hair completely forgotten, I turned to grant him better access and let my head drop to rest on his shoulder.  
  
"I-I thought you said we...didn't have...time for this?" I managed to ask, my body was still so tired and sore, but the fresh round of stimulation was all encompassing in the best of ways.  
  
"Well, so what if we're a little late- we're both doing prime time tonight, last I checked. It's only like half eight," he said, smiling against my wet cheek, as he pushed us back into the spray.  
  
"Fuck, this...feels sooo good," I groaned, my mouth sucking hotly on the curve between his neck and shoulder, the warm stream from the shower raining down on my back as I leaned my weight against him.  
  
"Mmm, _you_ feel so good...so big and hard," he sighed, his free hand fisting into my, still somewhat soapy, wet hair, which was plastered against me due to the shower water.  
  
In response, I just happily began to fuck his fist, while I lapped away at his left ear shell now, nibbling on the earlobe. I could tell I was very close, my 'stamina' all but nought after last night, as that all too familiar warmth began building up in my gut and pooling in my groin. My aching arse be fucked, I was enjoying this, as I moaned and mumbled in pleasure.  
  
When he started to twist his fist and thumb my slit, I knew I was done for, as he sped up his pace, unbelievably so. It wasn't a surprise- to either of us I'm sure- when I came shortly, spilling all over his fist, only for my cum to quickly be washed away and down the drain, as I moaned his name. Spent I collapsed into his arms, and he held me, whispering words into my ear, as he ran his hand through my hair, allowing the shower's spray to flatten it again, before raking his hand up, against it. Properly rinsing the last of the shampoo off.  
  
"Dom," I said, finding my voice after I'd had a moment to collect myself, my arms wrapped around his waist.  
  
"Hmm?" he replied, his other hand now mimicking the flowing water down my back, by fluttering his fingers down my steamy skin too.  
  
"I've never sucked you off, have I?" I asked, his own cock still very much so hard, as it stabbed into my hip, while my own spent one softened between my legs.  
  
"Um, uh, no?" he replied, voice sounding a mixture of confusion and something else...(desire or excitement?), as I finally lifted my head up from the crook of his neck, to regard him.  
  
"Huh, well then I really was a moron," I said, dragging my hands down his water slicked body, as I travelled down to my knees. "Especially when you did me so many times," I added, my hands now firmly holding his hips.  
  
"Well it's not like I ever asked, and besides, I'd be perfectly happy to suck your cock all day," he said, but I could see his swollen cock twitch with my warm breath hitting it, my mouth only inches away.  
  
"Hmm, but you've got such a gorgeous fucking cock, just looking at it now I can't imagine why I never just went for it immediately, let alone ever," I said, pushing him properly against the shower wall, leaving me kneeling alone under the running water.  
  
"Well you could always make up for lost time- work can wait," he practically moaned, as I leaned forward, panting hotly on his throbbing length.  
  
"Best I get started then," I grinned, before I did just that, my fingers digging into his hipbones, while my mouth opened and engulfed as much of his cock as I could in one go; not in the mood to dance around things.  
  
"Jesus, Matt," he moaned loudly, his one hand grasping the curtain railing, while the other grabbed the low shower wall behind his head.  
  
I could already tell he wasn't gonna last too long, so decided to go straight for it- we could do this nice and slow when we had the time. I let go of a tanned hip with my right hand, to instead cradle his balls with it, massaging them while my tongue worked away, curling around his cock and tracing all of its contours, my teeth then joined in too. I let them gently scrape along his length, before I pushed forward some more so that I could deep throat him. Hey, I hadn't been gifted with a virtually non-existent gag reflex for nothing.  
  
At this point his mouth was just garbling nonsense, while I breathed heavily through my nose, ensuring my mouth had a water tight seal. However I sadly had to close my eyes, because I was just being blinded by the streams of water anyway. It was fine though, as I just let my mouth and back throat do all the work, allowing myself to hum around his heated cock and eliciting frantic cries from above me.  
  
The taste of his pre-come was already tingling around my mouth, while I ran my tongue through his slit, before nibbling on the ridge of his cockhead; so it wasn't too much of a surprise when I suddenly struck gold and he came, shooting hotly into my mouth, with a loud cry of my name. I just continued though, sucking until I was satisfied I'd milked him dry, my throat only too happy to swallow down the creamy cum.  
  
When I'd swallowed every last drop, I got back to my feet, wincing slightly at the stab in my arse (yip, I'd definitely need a fuckload more practise), so that I could capture his heavily panting mouth into a firey hot kiss.  
  
"Like that?" I asked, pulling away and causing him to whine with the loss. "The taste of you in my mouth?"  
  
"L-Love it," he gasped, grabbing hold of the back of my head to pull me back into yet another, hotter kiss. "I should definitely wash your hair more often."  
  
  
                                                    

                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"But don't you just look like the cat that got the cream," Jess grinned, shaking her head, as she watched me closely.

"Well..." I began, grinning straight back, my stomach afloat with butterflies at just thinking about last night and then this morning's perfect start. "Let's just say I took your advice and you were very right."

"Oh, really?" she said, brightening up even more, as she sat up straighter on Tom's desk. We were sitting around, waiting for Tom to finish up with the lunch time slot, in the bigger main office area, so we could all head off to lunch. We also just so happened to have the perfect view into a certain one of the meeting rooms. "Details, Howard, give me."

"Firstly, 'Howard' has long since been tossed- 'Dom' seems to have finally stuck! Amazing what being tied up and desperate to be fucked can do to a person." I smiled proudly, just as I caught sight of Matt through the glass window in the meeting room. Like usual he was busy shouting at some of the researchers, flapping around some papers.

"And what, you denied him? Seeing as how he's in just as bad a mood as ever," she said with a raised eyebrow, also taking in the sight.

"Well, no, I couldn't have even if I'd wanted to; the sight of him cuffed to my bed, with a butt plug and his cock swollen and hard in a cock ring-"

"Jesus, Dom! I said details, sure- but not graphic!" she yelped, as we both checked to see no one had heard, but I'd been whispering and we appeared to be pretty damn safe.

"Hey, you ask and you shall receive!" I laughed evilly, as she shook her head, her eyes glancing Matt's way.

"And what, he just let you do all that?" she asked, doubtful.

"'Course not, I blindfolded and 'kidnapped' him. Talk about fun foreplay- and yes; he fucking loved it. Though he did kick up a fuss when I took him at first...but when I started to fuck him hard he lost control of his uptight self."

"Oh, Dom, what's gotten into you? You're never usually this...'sharing'," she laughed, her cheeks having gone bright pink. "Though you got to top, kudos to you, that would also probably explain why I saw him wincing when he just sat down- temper tantrum over."

"Haha, yeah, the poor guy's still quite new when it comes to that sorta thing," I said with a little smirk, looking over at him, while Chris now began lecturing the researchers, Matt shuffling- clearly uncomfortable- in his seat.

"So, you really are 'together' now then?" she asked, shaking her head slightly in wounder and disbelief.

"Well, yeah, if the added fact that he also gave me head in the shower this morning- something he'd never even come close to doing before- is any indication," I said with a shrug, my own cheeks blushing at the unbelievably brilliant memory.

"Jeez, Dommy, you seem to really have the little twat wrapped around your finger now, don't you," she marvelled.

"Oi, he's my little twat," I laughed, just as I caught sight of Tom heading over at last.

"Hmm, maybe it's really you that's whipped!" she teased, but I just pulled my tongue at her, Tom nearly having reached us.

"Hey, Dom," Tom greeted, before looking at Jess. "Jess," he grinned dorkily.

Rolling my eyes (a trait of Matt's that really seems to be rubbing off on me), I sat patiently waiting for him to stop prattling off his latest cheesy jokes to us, also unable to help but noticed how he seemed to be paying more attention to Jess, who also seemed to actually enjoy the jokes for a change.

                                                                                                       ***

"So, I'm excited for tomorrow," I informed Matt, between tongue-heavy kisses, my hands gently massaging his sore arse, despite the fact that I couldn't really do much for the specifically painful area.

After spending most of lunch sighing and practically as good as third-wheeling with Tom and Jess, seeing as they'd done most of the talking, I'd just found myself missing Matt and whatever snarky comments he'd no doubt make about Tom's obvious infatuation (which just seems to have gotten worse lately, since Kevin and Jess split) with her. I know it's rather silly, as Matt and I have hardly done much chatting and hanging out since everything between us began- both too busy with fucking one another and Matt being a douche- but it didn't take a genius to pick up on his sense of humour. Plus I undoubtedly loved his company- more so lately obviously.

So I'd been impatiently waiting around for most of the people to head home after we'd finished the show; finding Matt's presence and not being able to do anything about it, completely frustrating. When at last I'd decided it was empty enough, I'd headed straight for his private office and closed and locked the door, surprising the man as he was busy finishing some or other article for tomorrow's show. I'd just had to get a feel of him again before tomorrow's impatient waiting. Clearly he'd felt similarly, as he'd had me sitting on the edge of his desk in no time, fitting himself between my thighs, so that we could snog like the two horny teenagers we undoubtedly are at heart.

"Hmm? That's good to hear, just don't expect anything too fancy. Seriously, it's gonna be completely relaxed; just a chance for us to get to know each other better," he sighed in reply, one of his own hands knotted in my hair, while the other squeezed my upper left thigh.

"That's fine- plus let's not forget all the sexual hype you've been hinting at," I grinned, pulling out a bit so that I could wink cheekily at him.

On cue, as usual, those pretty, blue eyes of his rolled. "Well I don't know if it'll be so special now, but it's fine- maybe a decent slow fuck is just what we need after everything? Or maybe we just won't shag at all! Surprise being the element."

"Ha, don't even try; we both know you wouldn't be able to let that happen- sore arse or not!" For this little comment my bottom lip received a rather spitefully mean nip. "Oh stop being such a grump! It's exactly what I love you for!" I defended, trying to recapture his lips, but he was having none of it.

"You do know there's a whole lot more to me right?" he said, offended, his arms dropping to his sides as he stepped away from the desk.

"Oh Matthew," I sighed. "Of course I do, why do you think I was so interested in you right from the beginning? Even before you came back to London. Though it certainly helped me coming back each time though; when you were just a complete arsehole to me."

"Yeah, sorry about that, yet again," he said, sinking down into his swivel chair, his face somewhat creasing with discomfort.

"It's okay now, seriously. Let's just move on and take things the way they should've been from the start," I suggested, sliding off the desk, to instead climb into his small lap. "Hmm,  what do you say?" I asked, pecking his cheek.

He shrugged and nodded eventually, leaning in to gift my lips with a sweet little kiss, before his face scrunched up. "Okay, up you get. I physically cannot sit."

"Seriously, Matt? Surely it can't still be that bad?!" I asked in disbelief, but got up anway, offering him a helping hand as he got to his feet too.

"It really is," he grimaced. "I'm also reluctant to take anything for it. You've seen me on meds; I have low tolerance and they go straight to my head."

"Aw, but you were also so sweet for a change on them!" I argued, pulling him into a tight hug. I swear I could just not get enough of the man, it felt like we were two opposite ends of a magnet.

"Argh, don't remind me," he grumbled, but his arms wound around my waist none the less and he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

"See, kind of like how you're being now," I cooed, patting his back and breathing in his smell.

"Shut up."

 

                                                                                        ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After spending the whole day fretting about tonight- I honestly don't even know why I'm so worked up- I was finally home, having managed to excuse myself marginally earlier than usual.

What also wasn't helping much, was the fact that my arse was still fucking sore- perhaps even slightly worse, so I'd taken a couple painkillers, at last having given up. I wasn't about to let my arse get in the way of what I hope would be a pleasant evening.

Dom had been a complete pain, constantly sending me secret signals throughout the day at work, leaving me to shoot back warning looks. Luckily it seemed people only thought I was glaring at him as per usual, so at least that's okay...until the pestering had started in the form of annoying texts too...

So now, here I was, quickly throwing together some pasta- hey I'm not the most amazing of cooks, but I _love_ pasta, plus isn't this whole date supposed to be about getting to know each other better? Easy way to show him my favourite food. As unimpressive as boiling pasta in a pot is, I'd decided to at least make the sauce; one of my specialities I suppose. It's just a simple, yet effectively divine, tomato based sauce, that if he doesn't like it he can quite frankly jump in a lake.

Pasta put on to boil, sauce simmering in a pan, my greek salad already finished and in its bowl, I rushed off to quickly shower and change out of my work clothes before he arrived.

And in good time too, as just as I was pulling my head through one of my numerous t-shirts, I heard the buzzer go.

"Whoa, you're actually on time," I greeted him, as I opened the door to let him in.

"Hey, what kind of greeting is that for your beloved boyfriend on our first date?!" he asked in mock offence. "Plus, it really bugs me that you never answer your intercom...you always just buzz me up."

"Eh," was my simple reply as I shrugged, but- pretty much what I expected from him- he lunged forward and pulled me into a hug.

"You really are difficult, you know?" he said into my ear, as he rested his head on my shoulder in our embrace.

"And yet you still can't seem to get enough of me," I stated and pulled out of the hug, to go check on the sauce. "Also, I hope you like pasta."

"Love it," he grinned enthusiastically, as he followed eagerly after me. "Mm-hmm, smells good, babe."

"Argh, what is with all this 'babe' nonsense lately? Just because we're 'together' now, doesn't mean you can abuse the situation," I complained, as I stirred the sauce, turning down the heat a bit.

"Aw, but all couples need good pet names for each other! And you're hardly a 'sweetie' or 'darling'. Plus, what're you complaining about, 'babe' is hot," he grinned, sneaking up and putting his arms loosely around my waist as I stirred.

_God, Matthew, look what you have degraded yourself too... It's never too late to back out now._

"So therefore it suits you perfectly," he elaborated, kissing the side of my face sweetly, his left hand going rather close to a certain area that was certainly no longer my waist.

"Fine, fine, snookims," I shot right back, turning the stove off and turning to face a rather incredulous looking blonde.

"'Snookims', are you fucking kidding me?! What the hell kind of pet name is that?!" he objected, having dropped his arms and stepped back incredulously.

"The perfect one for you, my cute little snooky-wooky-kins!" I smirked in reply, as I dabbed the stirring spoon on his generously proportioned nose, leaving a red blot of tomato sauce.

"You, sir, have over stepped the line!" he objected further, as he wiped his nose clean.

"Exactly, so drop the nickname, Howard," I replied, bending down to pull out two bowls for us, only for him to seize the opportunity- like I should've guessed he would- and give my arse a hard slap. "OUCH!!" I yelped, only to then wack my head on the counter as I leapt up. "FUCK'S SAKE!!"

"Shit, Matt, you okay?" he asked, rushing to try help me out, though I could tell he was desperately trying to hold back giggles.

"That really fucking hurt!" I bitched, rubbing the back of my head with one hand and my arse with the other.

"Oh come on, I get the counter head bang, but surely your bum's _still_ not sore?"

"Well actually it is, thank you very much! Talk about an abusive relationship!" I huffed, avoiding his attempt to pull me into an apologetic hug.

"But it really shouldn't hurt quite so bad...next time I'll just have to prep you properly then," he said with a shrug, abandoning his efforts at hugging me, and instead opting to steal cherry tomatoes from the salad.

"If there _is_ a 'next time'," I muttered, as I went to strain the pasta.

"Oh, Matt, you're so cute! After you're little apology speech you owe it to me, just like you said..." he said, stepping suspiciously closer, as I was leaned over the sink. "Also, how could I let such a gorgeous little arse go to waste?" he added, groping my arse.

"DOMINIC!! Have I not made it clear my arse is sore?!" I yelled, hands dropping the strainer in the sink to automatically protect my bum from further attack.

"Matt, the noodles!!" he exclaimed instead, rushing to rescue them.

"It's pasta, not 'noodles', dammit," I grumbled, walking over to get us some wine, before grabbing my own glass and leaning against the counter; leaving him to finish with the preparations.

"Why am I not surprised that I'm left to do all the work?" Dom asked, failing to sound even slightly annoyed.

"'Cause you're my bitch," I grinned, winking cheekily at him, the mood suddenly hopping back, before I took another sip of red wine.

"Oh no, Mr Bellamy, let's not forget who was who's bitch on Wednesday night," he shot right back, matching my grin.

"Argh, as if I could forget..." Just thinking about it all, yet again, made that all too real stabbing sensation flare. That's it, clearly more painkillers would be necessary.

I waited for Dom to be distracted with dishing up; to grab a few more pills, reaching quickly into the cupboard to grab them, and quickly downed them with the rest of my wine. I wasn't really in the mood to hear him go on about me overreacting again.

"Well, even if I did have to do the 'pasta' rescue and dish up, I must say, this looks pretty yummy, Matt," Dom grinned, picking up both our bowls, so I grabbed his wine glass as well and followed him to the dinning table.

 

                                                                                          ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Matt, are you feeling okay?" I asked him, as his slim body swayed.

I'd noticed slowly throughout dinner, how he'd begun to drift a bit, his eyes growing glassy and heavy, and the way he'd forget what he was saying mid-sentence, he'd also begun yawning constantly. Now, as we'd finished up and moved to the large, comfy sofa, he'd begun to sway too, mentally checking out every now and again.

"Hmm? M'fine...relax," he grinned wonkily at me.

_Okaaay...well, if he says he's fine... Then why aren't you doing anything? Let's get serious, Dom, you're hardly paying attention to the film- you can't even name it!- and there's no doubt about it that Matt's hardly watching either. Those lazy, amazingly-blue eyes have just been trained on you._

So, deciding that I was just looking too into things, I leaned forward and captured his thin lips in a sweet kiss, which he happily smiled into.

As the kiss deepened however, his grip on my thigh and shoulder lessened and, when I opened my eyes to regard him, he had to pull away to yawn widely, exposing the fleshy, pink inside of his mouth, which my tongue should currently still be exploring.

I regarded him again, as he shrugged and yawned again- this time covering his mouth properly.

"Wh-aouhhh-t?" he yawned, his voice slurred, as a little tear, from having yawned so fiercely, rolled down an angled cheekbone.

"Are you _tired?_ " I asked incredulously, sitting up straight, having given up on our snogging, as his eyes now too, had begun fluttering shut. "What about tonight's 'amazing' time?!"

"Dom, m'not tired-" he began, breaking off for yet another yawn. "-I just..." His voice was definitely slurry and his eyes were unfocused.

"'You just...'?" I asked, crossing my arms. That is, until the penny suddenly dropped. "Matt, what have you taken?"

Of course. The only times I'd seen him like this was when he'd been drunk and the time when he'd been sick and taken lots of medicine. And he's definitely not drunk, he hadn't had a lot and he'd been perfectly stone-cold sober when I'd arrived...it could only be something he'd taken. The man really did have a low tolerance, though I suppose him hardly being the biggest and stockiest bloke around didn't help either.

"Hmm...nothing," he mumbled, his head falling to rest on my shoulder, clearly unable to hold itself up anymore.

"Matt, come on. You must've taken something- something since I got here- 'cause you weren't like this earlier," I insisted, stroking my hand through his thick, dark hair.

"Hmmm," he just hummed, his head sliding down against my chest, enjoying the touch. Just when I thought I wasn't going to get an answer, I heard him mumble one into my shirt. "Just- you can't tease me- more painkillers."

Seriously? Was he still really that sore? He shouldn't be. It shouldn't hurt _that_ much...but then he did say he was still new to all that and I hadn't prepped him at all. Funny how he could do it to me and I was fine; his turn? Not so much. But then, again, I was hardly new to it...

"Matt, how much did you take? Painkillers shouldn't knock you out like this...you look _high_...plus you've been drinking wine; I don't think you're supposed to do that..." I asked, lightly pinching his cheek to gain his attention.

"Hmm...lots...don't know how much...but don't...usually get-get so-" Another yawn. "-sleeeepy..."

"Matthew, seriously? That sounds worrying, I wond-"

"Shit, I think I know what's happened," he said suddenly, his head snapping up briefly, so that his heavy eyes could blurrily look at me, as they popped more open.

"Take it easy," I said, steadying his clumsy body as he tried to right himself up. "What?"

It was so weird for him to seem so clumsy, with laboured movements, especially because he was usually so lithe and smooth, always in absolute control of his body.

"The painkiller's cylinder is very similar to the sleeping tablets...fuck...I must've taken them instead," he groaned and looked like he wanted to bang his head against a wall in frustration.

"Wait, sleeping tablets?! Jesus, Matt, how much did you take?! This is serious!!" I mean, if the guy could barely handle allergy and flu meds!

"Only, a couple..." he said, then yawned again, briefly shutting his eyes.

"'Only a couple'?! Matt, you could've fucking overdosed!" I yelled in fright, but when he just rolled his heavy lids in response, I felt a wave of relief flood me.

"Look who's...fucking-" Biggest yawn yet. "-dramatic now...I'll-I'll be fine...just need...need sleep..." And just like that I watched on, as his eyes rolled back, right before his eyelids finally closed and he dropped like a stone, the left side of his face buried into my lap.

"Matt?!" I yelped, and tried to shake him back awake, but he was out. Dead to the world, finally having been overcome by the pills, as he began to lightly snore in my lap.

_Well I'll be fucked- more like I won't be- there goes our sexy evening..._

To be honest though, he was rather sweet looking when he was fast asleep, that nearly constant crease between his eyes (as he was forever frowning at something or another) was relaxed and his eyebrows were set neatly, though a little giggle did escape me as I noticed he was drooling ever so slightly. The sight strikingly similar to the one which felt like so long ago, when I'd woken to him talking and humping in his sleep. Hopefully this time will end far better...

It was ridiculous, but I'd always held him up so high on a pedestal of sorts, thinking he was so great and letting him get away with so much shit, but moments like this just bring me straight back to reality. Matt's human. He is, just like me, and so he fuck's up too (God does he)...though I must say; I've never been dumb enough to accidentally drug and knock myself out. This round most certainly goes to you, Mr Bellamy.

His right hand had curled around my left knee and I was reminded once more of its abused and maltreated state. Though it was healing once more, quite well, it was very colourful indeed, what with all the bruising and sutures. I let my hand lightly trace along the new set of stitches he'd gone and gotten- probably after he'd left my parents and I on Saturday.

_Which reminds me, I must really ask him how he got his hand into this state...have to see who won the bet after all_.

Okay, yes, as bad as it sounds, Chris, Jess, Tom and I had placed bets on the cause of his injury; hey, in my defence it had been before he'd come to apologise.

Huh, I'd pretty much forgotten all about his hand on Wednesday night too...though he hadn't complained even once. About his hand that is. If anyone knew how to bitch and moan, it was Matthew Bellamy.

He suddenly snuffled and dug his head into my lap some more, trying to get more comfortable, judging by that frown showing up. Just then I realised the cause of his discomfort in my lap.

_Shit, seriously, Dom? Are you really that deprived?_

Just thinking about Wednesday night had made me hard, as if my body were trying to mock me with the way the evening had ended up going.

Hmm...what I needed was a distraction; I wonder what Jess is up to. So, just like that, I gently reached into my pocket and pulled out my mobile, to give her a call.

"Dom?" she eventually answered, after I'd began to think the phone was just going to ring.

"Yeah, it's me," I replied, my free hand absentmindedly running through Matt's tufts of silky hair. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well isn't tonight the big night? Aren't you meant to be busy shagging that jerk?" she asked, but then spoke again before I could explain. "Or, don't tell me, the twat's gone and done something again?" I could hear the annoyance in her voice, but there was also the sound of music in the background...what was _she_ up to this Friday evening?

"Um, yeah, I am _supposed_ to be shagging _my boyfriend_ , but yes, he has gone and fucked up..." I confirmed, but spoke again quickly, before she could go all protective and on overdrive. "But not in the way you think."

"No? Then what _did_ happen?" she asked, her voice calming down a bit, and I swear I could hear faint laughter coming from her end of the line.

"Have you got company?" I couldn't help asking.

"Maybe," she replied coyly. "But this isn't about me, come on now; tell me. What did the moron do now?"

"Fine, be like that, I'll just share everything with you and-"

"Dom."

"Okay, fine, fine..." So I filled her in on Matt's mix up of medication and his current occupation: drooling on my lap.

"No ways!" she practically squealed in delight. "Send us a picture!!"

_Wait, had she just said 'us'?_

"Jess, who's with you?" I asked, the laughter in the background having increased, while I could make out Jess hurriedly hushing someone.

"Send a picture first, then I may drop a hint..." she said, trying to sound mysterious. But I wasn't born yesterday, despite all the Matt drama in recent months and especially in recent weeks, I'd noticed things.

"It's Tom, isn't it," I said, not even pretending to sound like it was a guess.

"How'd you-"

"Hey, Dommy-Boy!" Tom's bright voice called across the line. Gasp, there's a shocker.

Though... Shit.

"Jess, you're on loud speaker?!! Tom knows about Matt and I?!!" It wasn't really a question.

"Um, well, I didn't want to hide anything from him and-"

"Yes I do! God, everything suddenly made so much more sense when Jess told me, but I didn't really believe it, until just now!!" he laughed loudly. "Though I honestly don't know how you do it, mate. And then after everything you _still_ took him back? You must really love sucking his cock!"

"TOM!!!" I yelled, absolutely horrified. This is why I could never have confided in him. Oh, I know he'll keep things secret, but having to put up with shit like that? No ways.

"Send us a pic, Dom! Come on!!" Jess demanded, laughing along openly with Tom now. "I'll even send you one of Tom in his Micky Mouse pants!" At this Tom had to object, while I was left to shudder in memory.

"Um, no thanks, I've already had the misfortune of seeing that in person. I'll send it, if you promise not to plague me with one of Tom."

"Oi! I take offence!" I could hear Tom grumble, but Jess just demanded I send a damn picture already.

I know Matt would go absolutely berserk if he knew, but hey, he'd probably already be pissed enough to know they knew about us; I also know I can trust them. So, without a second's thought, I snapped a picture of the sleeping man on my lap with my iphone, and sent it to my two friends (hey he did look rather cute and I couldn't help feel a flutter in my stomach at getting to show them he was truly mine), after having wished them goodnight and leaving them to whatever they'd been up to before I'd interrupted their 'secret' shenanigans. Lord knows, as happy as I was that they'd finally gotten their shit together and hooked up, I certainly didn't want to think about what they did.

Plus the fact that they were both getting laid and I wasn't? Yeah a tad bit o' green jealousy running through my veins.

"Come on, Matt, let's get you in bed."


	23. Chapter 23

"Morning, smartness," I greeted Matt, as he finally stirred.  
  
"M'rnin'," he replied sheepishly, his pretty eyes and mop of dark hair the only things poking out of the blue duvet cover he was hiding under.  
  
"You do know it's already Saturday night right? So perhaps 'Evening' would've been a better greeting," I informed him, turning the flat screen off and putting the remote on the bedside table, before turning to face the now bright pink- of what I could see of it- face of my boyfriend.  
  
"Seriously? Shit...I'm so sorry, Dom," he apologised, sinking even lower under the covers.  
  
"Yeah, I was so worried, you were literally in a deep, deep sleep and I began to freak, but when I called my mum and explained to her, she said you'd be okay. I didn't want to leave you alone like that though, so stuck around to keep an eye on you, dear little genius that you are," I said, my left hand running through the strands of his dark hair poofing out from the duvet.  
  
"Oh God, I'm so sorry- again- you really didn't have to wait around-"  
  
"Oh, it's fine. I've had a perfectly relaxed Saturday and even managed to get quite a few things sorted out... Even booked us an appointment for tomorrow at a clinic," I said, kissing the frown away that was forming on his forehead.  
  
"'An appointment'?" he asked, his voice muffled a bit by the duvet he still insisted on hiding under. "For what?!"  
  
"Why to get tested of course! I've been thinking about it and, well, just think of how much better it would be if we didn't have to worry about a condom the whole time, now that we're properly together, hmm?" I asked, tentatively pulling away the covers, slowly off his face. "Plus, knowing us, we'd also save a ton of cash," I couldn't help adding with a grin, as his own mouth and chin were now revealed to me, his angled cheeks still somewhat a pinkish hue.  
  
"Okay, fair enough, can't deny I'm all for you riding me bareback and all, but on a Sunday?" he asked, one of his dark eyebrows raising.  
  
"Ha, so presumptuous always," I smirked, shaking my head, as I swung my left leg over the lump of duvet that was his body, so that I was now straddling him, a forearm either side of his head to help support my weight. "But, yeah, don't forget my mum's a nurse, I have connections," I answered, gifting his light morning-stubbled chin a kiss.  
  
"Oh God," he groaned. "Please tell me your mum's not gonna be handling my junk."  
  
Laughing I shook my head, "Of course not, you silly man. She just managed to help me get an appointment with a doctor she's friendly with and who specialises in that, um, area of...expertise."  
  
"Good, think I'd die if she were the one doing it, as if it wasn't awkward enough as is," he grumbled, like the little grump he is and tried to retreat under the covers again. "Not that I'm overly keen for anyone to 'handle' me..."  
  
"Lies! You never complain when I do," I grinned, letting a hand run along his covered body, until I could make out round about where said area should be, and proceeded to give him a good rub.  
  
Like clock work his hips rose into my touch and a deep sigh escaped his mouth.  
  
"That's different..." he said, his right hand finally emerging- healing injuries and all- to lace into my hair, so that he could bring my mouth down to his for a proper 'good _evening_ ' kiss.  
  
"Hmmm, is it," I managed around the kiss, still not quite used to 'morning kisses' with Matt and adjusting to his toothpaste-lacking mouth. To be honest it really wasn't so bad and I found myself deepening the kiss. I guess I'd just always find his taste addictive, regardless.  
  
"Most definitely," he grinned pulling out, before swiftly joining our lips once more.  
  
                                                                                                       ***  
  
Matt's state of being awake didn't last much longer though, only really allowing for him to quickly pop off to the loo and then grab a banana, before he passed out next to me on the couch during an old episode of Q.I.  
  
So, the ever dutiful boyfriend I'm turning into, I carried him back off to bed. Mum had luckily warned me it would still take a bit for him to recover from his hefty dosage, also taking into account his size. So I wasn't too concerned this time, and instead just dressed down to my boxers too and joined him for an early night's sleep. As I'd fallen asleep I couldn't help but thank our stars that we had this weekend off, if this had happened on one of our busy weekends? Lots of explaining would be needed.  
  
When Sunday did eventually roll around, I awoke to the sound of Matt showering at six o'clock in the morning, the pills having clearly worn off.  
  
Groaning I'd submerged myself in his posh bedding and made an attempt at sleep again, only for the sound of him re-entering the room again- shower now over- to distract me. The prospect of catching a glimpse of that pale expanse of flawless skin in full, too much to fight.  
  
So like the little sneak I am, snuggled under the covers still, I'd peaked out to get my glimpse. I couldn't have timed it any better either; as just as I caught sight of him, he'd dropped his towel carelessly to the floor (a habit of his I really need to fix) and was bent over to rifle through a draw in his cupboard- no doubt picking out just the right pair of boxers- but gifting me with the most glorious sight of his perfect little arse.  
  
If I hadn't been so terribly comfortable in my cocoon of bedding, I'd most definitely have seized the opportunity and goosed the two spotless, pale spheres, but instead I just watched on as, having found his chosen pair, he triumphantly tossed them onto the foot of the bed over his shoulder, before they were followed by a pair of black jeans and a red tee.  
  
 _Red and black, of course._  
  
I still hadn't been spoiled with his front view, when he bent (God yes) to pick up the towel again (Fuck no).  
  
I must've let out a noise of disappointment, as I heard a little giggle, which I was still getting used to hearing, as he chose to forgo covering himself and instead quickly towelled his hair, sending it fluffing crazily every which way.  
  
"Enjoying the show?" he smirked, finally turning around, only to have tied the infernal towel loosely around those narrow hips of his anyway, further delaying my view. What a tease.  
  
"Well I _was_ ," I muttered, my tone now mirroring him more and more lately. "Considering the fail of our 'romantic' first date and you waking me up at an ungodly hour, one would think it was the least you could do for me."  
  
"Ooh, so grumpy! What are we gonna do with you, Howard?" he smirked crookedly, as he stepped closer.  
  
I just rolled my eyes, doing my best to ignore the irony of our role reversal. "Well..." I began, deciding a different approach was definitely needed. "I can think of a thing or two..." Who was I trying to kid, I'm just too happy with life at the moment to even pretend.  
  
"Oh really?" he asked, his crooked smile growing, and he stepped right up to the bed.  
  
"Oh indeed, though all require you to shed that irksome towel," I stated, rather plainly, as I sat up in the bed, my own lips spreading into a smile.  
  
"Well then, best I do something about that then," he continued to grin, playing along, as he promptly undid the towel and thoughtlessly threw it aside. I didn't even blink at the annoying habit, how could I with all of him at my display.  
  
"Fuck, Matt, what're you waiting for?"  
  
"This," he replied cheekily, before swiftly pulling back the duvet and climbing up onto the bed, to mount my boxer-clad hips.  
  
"You can be a savage, you know?" I said, my giant smile no doubt ruining the whole effect though, as my hands naturally gravitated to cup his silky-soft arse cheeks, which fitted perfectly in my hands.  
  
"But you like it," he replied, with a suggestive wiggle of his dark brows, before leaning in to kick-start a very sexy make out session.  
  
  
                                                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Oh God, Dom, don't be such a damn coward, you wanted to come and now here we are," I said as the doctor called for- a now suddenly very reluctant- Dom.  
  
"Easy for you to say, you haven't known the guy since you were a kid and are now about to have him feel you up so that you can know if it's safe for you to have unprotected sex with your boyfriend," Dom muttered unhappily, standing up to go behind the curtain in the small check-up room we were in.  
  
At his words though my eyes instantly shot up to look at the doctor in question.  
  
"Oh please, Matt, he won't tell anyone about us, doctor patient confidentiality and whatnot," Dom- clearly bitchy when nervous- grumbled, before heading over for his examination.  
  
A few "Oi, watch it"'s and muffled yelps later and he was done, still only pulling back on his tee and sweater as he emerged from behind the curtains, having finally been allowed to discard his own hideous papery gown we'd been given to wear for the tests.  
  
"The blood sampling is the worst," he assured me, rubbing his arm for good effect, as I felt my stomach now squiggle with my own nerves. "Good luck, Matty- I've at least passed the physical observation- now it's your turn."  
  
"Argh, easy enough for you, it's more likely that I have something," I grumbled, scratching my neck where the gown was itching me.  
  
"Nah, you'll do fine, babe. At least for the physical, let's face it, I've had a good look and haven't noticed anything myself," Dom said, in some attempt at reassurance. "Though I'll be sad to see that gown go, love the rear-view," he added winking at me.  
  
"Piss off, Howard," I growled, self-consciously reaching behind myself to try hold the open back closed.  
  
Before he could reply a "Matthew, you can come through now, son," sounded.  
  
With a nervous swallow despite myself, and after Dom gave my left hand a squeeze, I headed over behind the curtain.  
  
"You can relax, dear boy, it'll all be over before you know it," Dr Richards, a kindly looking, middle-aged man, reassured me.  
  
And so, just like that, a syringe-full of my blood taken later and a pair of uncomfortably cold, gloved hands were touching me in a way in which nature had most definitely never intended.  
  
"So far it all looks good," he informed me, his intrusive latexed fingers taking liberties which I wasn't all too happy with. I just nodded, biting down on my tongue, my mouth set in a line; most definitely not in the mood to talk while I was undergoing this.  
  
Just when I thought things couldn't get any more uncomfortable, he did it.  
  
When those fingers had first grabbed hold of my balls I'd honestly tried my best, but, typical as always, he'd just had to go and squeeze didn't he?  
  
"Oh my, relax, Matthew my boy, I'm just checking for anything that shouldn't be there. Are you okay?"  
  
No doubt the colour of a fire truck, I simply just nodded my head curtly, completely and absolutely mortified.  
  
When at last I was finally put out of my misery and allowed to change back into my clothes, I slunk back to a near hysterical Dominic who thought the whole thing was the funniest thing ever.  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Howard," was all I had to say as I marched out of the clinic, him and his shameless laughter following behind.  
  
                                                                                                         ***  
  
"So, what's the verdict?" he asked, after finally having managed to hold back his giggles at last, only having taken the whole car trip to recover.  
  
"Have to wait for blood results like you, else I'm good," I muttered, having already reached his apartment block. "Out you get."  
  
"Aw, Matt, don't be such a bore. You've gotta admit it was at least a little bit funny? I mean even the nurse popped her head into the check-up room to ask me what was going on!" he persisted to annoy, his hand hovering over the car door handle, but making no attempt to open it.  
  
"Out. See you tomorrow, and don't be late."  
  
"Oh, Matt, don't be like this," he said, turning around to fully face me and completely abandon any hope I had of him leaving me be any time soon.  
  
I didn't reply, instead, eyebrows and mouth set in hard lines, I glared daggers at him. I was most definitely not even the slightest bit amused by it at all.  
  
"Oh, Matt, babe. I'm sorry, I won't laugh anymore. Just please stop being grumpy with me," he pouted with his full lips, his big, grey eyes doing a perfect impression of a pleading puppy-dog.  
  
"Fine," I relented, softening my features a tad. "But out with you." There was just no saying no to that face.  
  
"Without even a goodbye kiss?" he asked, putting his puppy-dog face on maximum.  
  
"Cheaky little slag," I muttered, as I let him reach over and pull our mouths together.  
  
"But you like it," he grinned, mirroring my words from earlier, before he hit the button that made my chair go back into a lying position. "There we go, much better," he grinned, as he climbed on top of me for better access.  
  
Time quickly became irrelevant as we just lay back and snogged, the car's windows fogging up; we kept things tame enough, only interested in slow, long kisses. I soon had my hands safely at home, snug in the back pockets of his jeans, while one of his latched onto frame my face, thumb running over a cheekbone, the other hand nestling under my jumper and tee, to simply rest against the skin of my stomach.  
  
"Could kiss you like this until kingdom come," Dom sighed, my teeth pulling at his juicy lower lip.  
  
"Hmm, I could think of something else we could do for that length of time," I grinned, letting his lip go with a "smack", as I suggestively brought my hips up to rub up against him.  
  
"Matt, I still have to walk up to my apartment," he objected weakly, arse pushing back into my cupped hands.  
  
"Hmm," I sighed, while his hand on my stomach pushed me down back into the seat. "So?"  
  
"So, I actually do now have to go," he grinned, pulling away, to stare down at me, his liquid-grey eyes glittering back at me.  
  
"Fine," I sighed, releasing my hold on him so that he could quickly peck me on the lips, before he shuffled back to his side and got out at last, closing the door with a light "click".  
  
Sighing, I brought my seat back up again and was about to start the car when I heard a tap at my fogged window. Startled, I jumped, only to see a finger draw out the shape of a heart through the frosty outside, allowing me a snippeted view of Dom on the other side, before a pair of full, pink lips appeared in the centre of the heart.  
  
After the, most likely freezing, kiss his lips pulled a bit back and he mouthed something at me that looked suspiciously like something he most definitely should not be saying. He then pulled his lips away and brought a twinkling grey eye to fill the newly made clear patch of glass, so that he could wink at my gawping face.  
  
Completely stunned and with an uneasy feeling churning at my gut, I shook my head, eyebrows drawing together, and drove off back home. I must have just imagined it.  
  
 _Definitely_.  
  
There's no way he'd already dropped that bomb, surely not?


	24. Chapter 24

"...so yeah, we just don't mention it. God, I still can't believe I said it though, I should've known he'd have a freak out," I said over my pint, before taking a sip.  
  
Jess and I had gone out for our usual Friday drinks after work, Tom had of course tagged along as always, but Chris sadly couldn't make it and it was the first time we'd all been alone since I'd found out about the two of them, as Tom had about Matthew and I. So of course they'd drawn the conversation to my relationship with Matt. Tom still found the whole thing beyond hilarious, and now that they'd managed to woozle out the fact that I'd let slip of that famous four letter word to a stunned and freaked out Matt, I probably wasn't going to hear the end of it.  
  
"So wait, you didn't actually mean it though, did you?" Tom asked, leaning over the table in astonishment.  
  
"Of course he did, I mean, one only has to look at the way his little cheeks flush and his eyes brighten whenever he even hears the skinny, little prat's name," Jess said shaking her head, but I could see the smile she was trying to hide.  
  
"Oh shit, I really did, didn't I?" I sighed in defeat. "Like, I know I fell pretty quickly for the bloke, but...wow, I didn't even know why I really said it..."  
  
"'Cause you love him, for whatever inconceivable reason, he's managed to steal your heart, Dommy," Jess said, unable to hold back her smile anymore.  
  
"Naww, Dommy-boy's whipped!!" Tom roared loudly, making the surrounding people in the bar look over our way.  
  
"Shhh, goddammit, Tom, could you be any louder?!"  
  
"Relax, Dom, he's just playing, there's no need to get worked up now," Jess laughed, before promptly gifting my insufferable twat of a mate a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Yeah, I think your twiggy boyfriend's foul temper is beginning to rub off on you," Tom agreed, before turning to lock lips with Jess.  
  
"Argh, why am I even still friends with you two? If you're not making fun of Matt or me, you're constantly all over one another!" I grumbled, before downing the last of my beer.  
  
"Ooh, sounds like someone's a little jealous, Matty-boy not giving you a good seeing to then?" Tom teased, pulling away briefly from their act of gross public indecency.  
  
"Hmm...he drug himself out again?" Jess added, before recapturing Tom's lips, the two giggling into each other's mouths.  
  
"You people aren't funny, you know," I muttered and pushed up out of my side of the booth.  
  
"Aww, don't go, Dommy!" Jess called.  
  
"Yeah, why not take some of the edge off with a good bit o' voyeurism?" Tom persisted to tease.  
  
I just flipped him the sign. "Actually I do have better things to do, plus I received my mail today," I said, pulling out two envelopes from my jacket pocket and flapping them about.  
  
"Ooh, yes, go home and read the mail. My, you're a dearing one, you are!" Tom laughed loudly, the other people in the bar glancing over again warily.  
  
"No, you moron! It's our results!" I hissed at him, losing my temper a bit after all. Perhaps Matt really was beginning to rub off on me...though I think the lack of sex and Matt keeping things casual and always being 'busy' lately, wasn't helping matters either.  
  
"Results?" the tool he is, Tom just had to ask quizzically.  
  
"For their STI check up, Tommy," Jess laughed, before trying to reach out for one. "So, let's see 'em then."  
  
"Ah-uh, I don't think so," I tutted, pulling them far out of her eager reach, Tom's face having lit up now too.  
  
"Oh, _those_ results," Tom grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
"Argh, you two are impossible. Tom, you've ruined her. I'm leaving."  
  
"Dom, don't be like that!" they both cried out, but I shook my head and waved goodbye over my shoulder. "Fine!" they laughed, before noisily locking lips again.  
  
Yikes, the two can never seem to get enough of one another, I thought with a shudder. Ever since I'd caught them out, they now seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable to be all over one another whenever I was around. I'm sure Matt and I are never that touchy, sheesh. Thinking about Matt again though, made my stomach knot up. Ever since I'd snuck the world 'love' into the equation, he'd been rather standoff-ish and I could also only be reminded of the two envelopes, which I'd returned to my jacket and were currently burning a hole in the pocket. These results...they could really bring about a change in our relationship...  
  
If I now really did love Matthew... He can't not be feeling anything either, surely? I mean he did come knocking at my door to apologise, something I know not to take too lightly. To have made the stubborn man admit his fault? Yeah, he just had to be buzzing with something as well.  
  
Plus I'm sure once we open these and can start shagging again in ernest, he'll soon forget I even let slip. Time, I just had to give it time. He'll come to his senses, just like last time. He's just a little slow is all.  
  
I couldn't help smiling at that, as I finally pulled up outside his apartment, his red, bet-you-wished-you-had-me car thankfully parked before me. So, at least he's back from work.  
  
My stomach a flutter with nerves, I walked up and rang his buzzer. We hadn't exactly arranged to meet up, 'cause every time I tried to organise he'd just scuttle off complaining about having a ton of work he needed to get through. Which, seeing as it had never stopped him in the past, only proved he was avoiding me.  
  
But now, well I had the little sucker trapped, there would be no ducking out now. Plus I couldn't wait to see the results of our tests, and he deserved to find out when I did.  
  
Like usual, he simply buzzed me up, not even bothering to check who it was. I really do need to get him to start being more safety conscious.  
  
So I let myself in and headed up the stairs and over to his door, which I knocked on.  
  
"It's open!" I heard him call from somewhere inside, and with another roll of my eyes (sheesh, I am beginning to be more and more like him) at his carelessness, I opened the door and locked it behind myself, just in time to see him emerge from the passage which led to his bedroom.  
  
"Oh, Dom," he smiled towelling his hair, clearly having recently just gotten out of the shower.  
  
"Yes me, were you expecting someone else?" I asked with a huff, trying to take my focus off the fact that he was only wearing a pair of tight, black jeans, which he hadn't even bothered to do up yet, the blue boxers underneath peaking through the open fly.  
  
"No, of course not. I knew you were probably gonna come round, it being Friday night and all," he shrugged, draping the towel around his shoulders and gripping either end.  
  
"So, you not gonna give me a proper hello then, a little kiss too much to ask for?" I complained, walking over to plop into his large, leather couch.  
  
"Oi, aren't we grumpy this evening?" he laughed, shaking his head. "It doesn't suit you, snookims." Argh, he just _had_ to add that, didn't he?  
  
"Matt, I've told you that's a retarded pet name, _babe_ ," I shot back, unable to hold back the smile which snuck onto my face. The little bastard just has such an effect over me.  
  
"Well that's a bit more like it!" he laughed and walked up to me. "If you must know, I was getting ready to take you out for dinner- unfortunately, obviously somewhere low-key- but here I'm not even ready; thought you'd only come a bit later."  
  
"Yeah, left drinks with Jess and Tom early," I explained with a mock shudder. I'd told him about them being together now, though I'd still conveniently not informed him that they knew about us.  
  
"Argh, I don't blame you. Kirk's a complete creep, as for your little girlfriend..."  
  
"Matt, you're not funny. They're also still my friends, let's not forget, eh?" I complained, a smile tugging at my lips while he just laughed and shrugged, completely unrepentant, as always.  
  
"Hey, when you're not with me, it's only you problem who you choose to spend your time with."  
  
"Anyway," I began, eager to get back to what had pleasantly shocked me. "Were you really going to take me out?" I asked, still surprised after the way he'd been acting all week and not to mention the risk of him being recognised if we went out in public.  
  
"Yip, we can still go. You'll just have to wait for me to finish getting ready though," he grinned, scratching the side of his head lazily with one of the corners of the towel.  
  
"But that'd mean you'd have to put on more clothes," I whined, sitting up straighter to grab hold of the two ends of the white towel around his neck.  
  
"Well of course, plus I'd freeze my balls off going out just like this," he laughed, leaning in to finally give me that kiss hello. "And I'm rather partial to them, as I'm pretty sure you are too."  
  
"Very indeed," I chuckled, cheekily groping him, which only made him grin wickedly back. "Even if I'm not really allowed to squeeze 'em," I winked, pulling him even closer by the towel end, so that his hands were now pressed into the couch either side of me, his nose nearly touching mine.  
  
"Ah, you're learning, but please, feel free to grope me in my trousers like that more often," he leered, before replacing his hands with his legs, as he moved to straddle my lap.  
  
"Shameless as always," I laughed, before he silenced me with a proper, deep kiss, chuckling to himself as that sneaky tongue of his quickly pushed its way into my mouth. I couldn't help sighing into the kiss, we hadn't kissed like this since I'd misjudged and told him I loved him. Right now it was like we'd just rewound time back to before that.  
  
And my God, the man really could kiss, I could feel my toes curling in my boots, while my hands grabbed handfuls of his tight, little arse through his trousers, his tongue caressing the roof of my mouth with godlike skill.  
  
"Mmm...we could also always just stay here instead?" he offered, eventually having pulled out to rest our foreheads together, giving me a close view of the way his pupils had expanded rather a bit, taking up a lot of their azure surroundings.  
  
"Hmm..." I said, making a big show of having to think about it all. "I don't know...more of this, or eating out...hmm, decisions, decisions."  
  
"Oi, don't be a tosser, Howard," he grumbled, poking me in the stomach with a bony finger. Sadly the action also only helped remind him of how I could also sometimes get rather a little ticklish, as I squeaked in response, and I knew I was done for when he looked back up at me with a wicked glint in his eyes and a naughty smile on his lips.  
  
"Oh, shit, Matt, don't!" But it was too late, before I knew it I was under siege, the sadistic bastard he is, he had me kicking wildly on my back, while he continued to straddle me as his terrible, spidery fingers wiggled away. This wasn't right, he's the one that gets ticklish, not me.  
  
That high-pitched laughter of his that I'd been starting to miss, filled the room as he took great delight in making me squirm. But then, suddenly he stopped.  
  
"Dom, are these what I think they are?" he asked, scooting back to sit between my legs, while I tried to recover and sit up straight. In the process of tickling me, he'd managed to locate the envelopes in my pocket, and now had them in his hands as he looked at me, a dark brow raised in question.  
  
 _Jeez, how'd I forgotten about those?_  
  
"Yeah, um, I got them today and was waiting to open them together with you," I shrugged, fixing my hair, which had been messed up in the struggle.  
  
"Oh," was Matt's simple reply. "Why didn't you say so earlier?"  
  
"I meant to, I don't know, when I walked in and you weren't wearing a shirt, I guess it just kinda slipped my mind," I grinned, trying to lighten the mood again. His suddenly grave expression somewhat worrying.  
  
My comment seemed to have the desired effect as he glanced up at me from the envelopes again and then at his bare chest, before looking me in the eyes again. "Guess I can't blame you then," he grinned and handed me the envelope addressed to a 'Mr Dominic Howard'.  
  
"So, should we open them now then?" I asked, my curiosity reignited.  
  
"Well, I don't know about you, but the wait to know has been killing me, I don't know what I'll do if I do have something...shit, what if I have something really bad, like...I don't know, aids?" he said, his quick speech picking up pace and his eyes blowing a bit wide with growing panic.  
  
"Whoa, relax, Matt. Let's just see what the results are before we get too carried away now," I soothed, brushing down some of his crazy, towel-dried hair.  
  
"Okay, fine, you're right. Let's open them, together?" It was still so weird to see him like this, after our first months of him just being a tough, uptight son of a bitch, to now opening up and allowing me to see just how very human he really was. Maybe I was also starting to rub off on him too...  
  
"Of course," I smiled encouragingly and then with a nod of his head, we tore open the results and began to skim through them.  
  
My heart was practically racing with nerves and anticipation, but once I'd finished reading to find I'd been given the all clear, the biggest wave of relief washed over me and I let out a deep breath I hadn't even realised I'd been holding. Clean and safe. Thank God.  
  
Setting aside the papers I turned to look at Matt, my smile instantly fading and heart dropping when I saw that he was frowning and still scanning his results intensely.  
  
  
                                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"What does it say, Matt?" Dom asked, worry thick in his voice. "I'm sure it's fine, I mean, it's not like I'll think any worse of you or leave. Please, it'll take a lot more than that to get rid of me!" he attempted with a smile, scooting closer to me, hands nervously rubbing up both my thighs.  
  
I just read the page again, not believing what I was seeing. Needing to read it yet again to be absolutely sure of what it was saying.  
  
 _Surely not, they must have done something wrong..._  
  
"Matty, babe? Please tell me, you're scaring me. It'll be fine, we can just treat you and, and..." He was clearly really starting to panic and moved yet closer, to perch himself on my lap. "What does it say?" he asked again, brushing some of my fringe aside and gifting me a kiss on the tip of my nose.  
  
"Well, according to this..." I finally began, setting aside the papers.  
  
"Yes?" he encouraged, his fingers still nervously fiddling with my hair. "Come on, what? Really, it's okay. Just please tell me, no matter what I'll still lo-"  
  
"Whoa, hold on, let's not get all emotional," I said, holding my hands up and stopping him from finishing. I mean really, after getting these results _that_ little issue was the last thing I needed to deal with. "According to this," I repeated, starting again, as he abandoned my hair to instead hold tightly onto my hand, no doubt thinking the worst and luckily forgetting about finishing that sentence of his. "I'm 100% clean; completely free of any nasty infection."  
  
"Seriously?" he asked, dropping my hand to gaze at me in astonishment.  
  
"Seriously. I've been cleared. Not a sight of anything to be found," I confirmed, nodding my head, still somewhat in disbelief.  
  
I couldn't believe I was absolutely scot-free. I mean, after everything I've been up to... My last tests had also always been clear, baring in mind though. But still, I'd just thought...I don't know, that I'd have finally pushed my luck for long enough or something. What with everything with Dom going so well- ignoring certain slip ups- I'd been sure that _something_ would have to crop up and fuck everything up for me. Yet, no. Absolutely nothing. Clean and clear.  
  
"You're not lying right? I mean, it's okay if your not. We can alw-"  
  
"Relax, Dom. I'm telling the truth. If your faith in me is really that small, feel free to read it for yourself. I just would've thought you'd have been happier about the news, seeing as how it was your idea after all..." I interrupted, shaking my head.  
  
"Argh, you had me so worried there for a sec, you wanker!" Dom cried, suddenly finding himself once more, as he shoved me hard in the chest, but he wasn't fooling anyone, the smile creeping onto his lips giving him away.  
  
"Naww, you should've seen your face, completely shattered you were. It was like I could taste the disappoint you had, at the thought of not getting to feel my huge, thick cock, bare and fucking you so hard up the arse you wouldn't be able to sit for days," I grinned mockingly, taking delight in the way his mouth dropped open.  
  
"Well someone certainly feels self-assured all of a sudden," he said shaking his head, but still unable to hide the sneaky grin playing on his lips. "Not to mention rather full of himself."  
  
"Ah, but you'll be full of me, and just me. Aching as I take you, pounding into you and making you cry out, before filling you completely with my hot cum, driving you-"  
  
"Jesus, Matt. The mouth on you all of a sudden," he breathed, his cheeks pinking a bit. "You really can be a right savage, you know?"  
  
"And I know you _luur_ -ve it," I shot back with a grin as I leaned over to push him on his back and began kissing him in ernest, my fingers deftly beginning to undo his shirt buttons. "Therefore it's simply my duty to continue being so," I chuckled, licking and sucking my way up his newly revealed chest now, which was thumping with his excited heart rate.  
  
His beautifully tanned skin was so perfectly delicious, I could quite literally just lick him all over. Not that I hadn't already done about as much since knowing the delectable tease. Smiling to myself, I began thumbing his extended nipples, my mouth travelling to lick along the outline of his subtle pecs.  
  
"So, what, we're just gonna have sex now?" he panted, my tongue having moved to lap at his quivering bellybutton.  
  
"I can't really think of any better sort of celebration, can you?" I asked, briefly looking up into his stormy-grey eyes, his pupils dilating by the second. "God, I'm going to fuck you so hard...hmmm..." I continued to hum, undoing his belt and trousers. "...you'll be coming like a fucking fountain."  
  
"Fuck, Matt," he gasped, as I immediately grabbed hold of his freed, rigid length, the weight of it, expanding even further in my fist as I began to pump him, igniting the familiar burn in my lower belly even more. He was starting to rise his hips up into my grasp eagerly, his head thrown back and eyes, heavy and lust-filled, struggling to focus on me. "That...that feels so... _gooood_."  
  
"Shit, your trousers. They need to. Come. Off. Now," I growled, letting go of him to pull the infernal things off. "Your shirt too, don't be so useless, Howard. Shrug it off or something."  
  
"Whoa, getting bossy now, aren't we?" he laughed, but I just rolled my eyes in reply and he hastily complied, tossing the shirt aside as I did the same with his trousers.  
  
"God, why is the fact that you weren't wearing any boxers turning me on even more?" I moaned, hurriedly trying to yank my own trousers off now too, pulling them and my boxers down, but getting a little impatient as it was difficult in my position over him on the couch. Shit, I could still just fuck him with the damned things around my thighs. I just needed to be in him now already.  
  
"'Cause I knew it would get you going," he grinned, teasingly pulling on the chain around my neck with a finger.  
  
I just groaned in my throat, hastily spitting on my hand so that I could slick up my impatiently pleading cock. "What are you waiting for? Prep yourself already, Jesus, I'm dying here, Howard!" I spat, the feeling of my hot, pulsing cock in my hand as I wet it, sending my body into flames of desperate need.  
  
"Sheesh, no need to yell, _Bellamy_. I mean, have you noticed how, now when you're ordering something or shouting at me, you revert back to calling me 'Howard' again?" he complained, looking far too self-righteous for a man with his cock ramrod straight in the air.  
  
"Well, _Howard_ , if you don't get going with the prepping already, I'm just gonna take you. As is," I shot back, before I needed to briefly shut my eyes, the pleasure coursing through me from my hand starting to tug roughly on my erection, too much. I needed in. Now.  
  
"God, if the sight of you wanking yourself right now wasn't driving me so crazy, I'd really be giving your ear a good chew off!" he bitched, but through my heavy lids I could see he'd began to suck on his fingers already, before bringing them down to begin stretching himself as ordered.  
  
Not satisfied with the- steady, but not nearly fast enough- pace he was using, I abandoned my, now leaking, cock to suck fiercely on two of my own fingers, before batting his away.  
  
"Here, bloody hell. I'm sure your grandmother could fuck herself faster," I muttered, pushing his legs up onto my shoulders so that I could replace his fingers with my own newly slicked ones.  
  
"God, Matt. Do you want...me to lose my...hard-on? Let's please...refrain from mentioning my...grandmother while you've got your...fucking fingers up my arse!" he spat out, but the thorough finger fucking I was giving him proved that he wasn't about to go flaccid anytime soon, his hands now clutching desperately at my shoulders, driving his own sharp fingertips into my skin.  
  
"There, that should be good enough, surely?" I eventually asked, satisfied by the cries he was releasing as I jabbed spot on at his prostate. "If I don't get in you now, I swear my dick's gonna snap it's so hard right now."  
  
"Jeez, someone's in a hurry this evening," he managed to grumble, a grunt of protest escaping from him as I pulled my fingers out.  
  
"Well just look at you, Dom. If anything you should be flattered that I'm dying to get to actually feel the inside of your peachy, firm arse on my sensitive skin for the first time," I pointed out, taking a breath, trying to calm myself down a bit. He had a point, I had a habit of getting a bit too hyped up, and this was looking like one of those times.  
  
"It amazes me that you can be such a douche and then throw in a- _sweet?_ \- compliment the next. You're a wonder, Matthew Bellamy. Plus your mouths on fire tonight," he sighed, rubbing the back of my hair with his toes, as he tried pulling me down with his legs still wrapped around my neck, the towel long lost at some point during my tickle attack.  
  
"Hmm, but it's true, just look at you. Why else do you think I put up with all your shit when you first started stalking me?" I teased, having been brought down enough to capture his bottom lip between my teeth.  
  
" _You_ put up with _me?!_ Ha, let's not kid ourselves now! As for 'stalking'? Don't even," he laughed, pulling his lip free, before snagging my lips in a heated kiss.  
  
"Ok, that's it. I'm serious now, if I'm not fully sheathed in you in the next few seconds, I'll scream," I gasped, his sneaky hand beating me to it and grabbing hold of my twitching cock, leading it toward his inviting entrance.  
  
"So then, what're you waiting for?" he asked, looking up lustfully at me, a shudder running through both of us at the feeling of my tip just pushing through his resistant muscle.  
  
I simply just grinned down at him and pecked at his lips once more, a strange warmth, beyond the heat that was burning through my veins and gathering at my groin and lower belly, flooding somewhere deep inside. The unique and strange rush tugging at me had me about to say something, my kiss-swollen lips even managing to part, just before I could finally push forward with my hips, when suddenly there was a loud bang out of nowhere on my front door.  
  
The sound so uncalled for and unexpected, and the both of us so absorbed in our own little bubble and so tightly wound up to spring; that we got the fright of our lives; with me ending up sprawled on my back on the floor with a hard _thump_ , after also wacking my head on the coffee table, as a result of quite literally having leapt with fright.  
  
"Shit, Matt, are you okay?" Dom asked with worry, popping up on the couch to stare down at me with alarm.  
  
"Jesus fucking Christ, who in God's name is that?!" I yelled, rubbing my smarting head and shot straight up in a sitting position. I was completely and utterly pissed off. But I'd probably sat up too quickly though, as I was starting to see black spots in my vision, which was beginning to blur at a worryingly rapid rate, my head positively throbbing. "Fuck, my head," I groaned, sounding distant to my own ears, before looking down to see the bright red of blood on the hand that had rubbed my head.  
  
"Matt? Whoa, Matt!" Dom yelled, his voice distorted, as I looked up from the warm red, and I could see him jumping up to support my head, just as everything went black...  
  
  
                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
In my rush to get to Matt before he knocked his head again, his eyes rolling back in his head for the first time in a way I'd never wanted to see, I burnt my knees on the carpet, but before I could even cuss at the pain, the loud, sudden knocking at the door sounded again.  
  
"Matthew?! I know you're in there, boy, I heard you just swear like a trooper!" My stomach gave an instant lurch as I looked from the front door, to the very much unconscious- practically completely naked- Matt in my arms.  
  
 _Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I was screwed. Matt was screwed. Holy shit... We were both screwed. Okay, calm. Breathe, Dom. Breathe. It will all be okay, just relax._  
  
"Matthew!!" The loud knocking now turning into pounding.  
  
There was no way around it, he was not going to leave. After all, since when did Ian Bellamy allow anyone to ignore him? Matt certainly hadn't just developed his self-confidence and approach to life out of nowhere. Although a sweeter version, his dad also had an issue with the word 'no'.  
  
Suddenly kicking into action, I lifted Matt's limp form up onto the couch and pulled up his boxers and trousers, putting them back in place and buckling him up. My heart hammering, I scrabbled around for my own clothes, throwing them on as fast as I could.  
  
"Matthew, open this goddamn door now! I couldn't care less about whatever little tart you have holed up in there. Just let me in already!"  
  
"Matt, psst, Matt," I tried in a hissed whisper, buttoning my shirt with one hand and desperately trying to shake my passed out boyfriend awake with the other. It was no use, like a cruel repeat of last Friday night when he'd accidentally taken sleeping pills: he was out.  
  
 _Bloody hell, now what?!_  
  
"Matthew, don't make me ask again!!" came Mr Bellamy's loud pounding on the door.  
  
 _Well, if he really didn't even have an idea about Matt fancying both sexes; he was about to get quite the shock, wasn't he?_ I thought, hurriedly belting up and zipping my fly.  
  
 _It would be fine telling Mr Bellamy, surely? I mean, he's Matthew's father, it's not like this'll effect his career then, right? Fuck._  
  
Well, Mr Bellamy was one of the few people at the office who knew about my sexuality and he sure didn't mind, so he clearly couldn't have a thing against homosexuals... But then Matt was his only kid...what if he didn't take the news too kindly? Not to even start on the fact that Matt was currently out cold!  
  
"Matthew, you are making me extremely angry right now!" The man was practically growling now.  
  
 _Well, here goes nothing._  
  
Taking in a deep breath and neatening up my hair and rumpled clothes as best I could, I took a final glance down at Matt. Dammit, I should've grabbed him a top of some sort at least, now it really wouldn't leave a doubt in his father's mind.  
  
 _Fuck. Was Matt even okay though? His chest was rising and falling evenly enough...must've just been a nasty bump...but I could see blood was even starting to seep out from the knock he'd sustained..._  
  
"MATTHEW JAMES BELLAMY, IF YOU DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR WITHIN THE-"  
  
"Coming! Coming, sorry!!" I yelled out, desperate to keep the man as calm as possible. The knocking and shouting instantly stopped, him clearly recognising my voice as most definitely not his son's.  
  
I'd never felt so scared about opening a door in all my life. This could change so much. It had the potential to blow everything up in our faces. What if Mr Bellamy was absolutely furious and fired me? I couldn't afford to lose my job. Or, even worse, if he prevented Matt and I from being together? With all these feelings and my newly discovered love for the man, that would be even worse than losing my job. And what if he gets so angry and can't accept Matthew and then I'll have ruined Matt's relationship with the only family he has. But then on the other side of the coin; what if he accepts us and it allows my relationship with Matt to grow even more. It would be less of a secret, perhaps he could even help me to convince Matt into outting himself and realising that his career will still be safe...  
  
No, I just had to stop thinking about it all. There were too many 'what if's'. What would come would come. I loved Matt, surely that was enough to get past whatever would come as a consequence?  
  
One last, nervous, kiss to Matt's forehead, as I grabbed his discarded towel and folded it under his head, not sure what to do about the blood and too terrified to keep his father waiting any longer, I straightened and headed over to open the door to face our fate.  
  
"Sorry for the wait, Mr Bellamy. Um, there was an, uh, accident," I greeted awkwardly, holding the door open to the man.  
  
He was fairly handsome in an older man sort of way, no doubt quite a looker back in his day, his hair now more salt than pepper coloured, he always looked smart and proper and this evening was no exception. He was neatly dressed in one of his usual tailored suits, his haircut tidy and cut short, an air of professionalism and class constantly just hovering around the man.  
  
"Howard?! What pray tell are _you_ doing here? And what accident, where's my son?"  
  
"Well, er, sir, you see..."


	25. Chapter 25

"Matthew, wake up. Come on now, Matthew, wake up..."  
  
"Matt? Please, Matt, your, er, your father's here too."  
  
My eyes felt heavy and there was a searing pain coming from the side of my head.  
  
 _Shit, I'd knocked it on the coffee table hadn't I? When Dom and I were at last about to-  
  
Wait, Dad was here?! Shit, shit, shit shitting fucking shit. Fuck, were we still, still..._  
  
My eyes finally managed to shoot open, only for the harsh light on the ceiling to blind me momentarily and definitely not help with the splitting headache I'd seemed to sustain. So, groaning, I tried to bring up a hand to shield my eyes as much as I could, trying to adjust, only to then look up into the faces of Dominic and my father, who were leaning over me.  
  
"Oh thank God, are you okay?" Dom was first to speak, kneeling next to my head.  
  
"Matthew, I do believe you have a lot of explaining to do, but regardless, I came here to discuss something most pressing with you. It pertains to your planned trip to Somalia," was my father's curt statement, but I also noticed the way he cringed when Dom tenderly brushed my fringe up to bring a wet cloth to the side of my head that felt like someone had kicked me there.  
  
I must have looked like a trapped animal, my eyes bugging out of my head, darting between the two while I tried to push aside a frowning Dominic so that I could sit up.  
  
"Somalia?" Dom asked looking at me with an unreadable look in his eyes, that frown very much in place. But I was eternally grateful to see that he was wearing clothes again, as well as the fact that I noticed my own trousers had been pulled back on.  
  
The thing is, I still wasn't wearing a shirt and Dad's not the stupidest person around, it wouldn't take a genius to arrive to some sort of incriminating conclusion. The looks that he kept shooting between Dom and I weren't too comforting either.  
  
 _Fuck, he knew. Of course he did, it was all over. The jig was up. Did he look angry?_  
  
Managing to focus on my father I could see more worry and concern than anything else in his eyes, he certainly didn't look like he was about to have a complete mental attack at the fact that it was glaringly obvious that something was going on between Dom and I. Or even just that I'd kept the fact that I was interested in men too. So, that was a good sign, right?  
  
"Matthew, have you lost the ability to speak, child? Your _b-boyfriend_ \- yes he told me, we will have words later- just asked you about Somalia. Something I'd very much like to know more about myself," he spoke again, Dom not having moved much since Somalia had been mentioned.  
  
Ignoring my dad as per usual, I instead chose to look back at Dom, a glare of note aimed squarely at him. What exactly had he told Dad? I must've been out for a while clearly, he could've told the man anything!  
  
"What did you tell him, Howard?" I asked, my eyes narrowed at the blonde, who's frown automatically deepened.  
  
"Well what else was I supposed to do, I could hardly lie! The man walked in to find you half naked and passed out with me in the vicinity and it's hardly like we're known to be friends! Isn't it better that he know this is a proper relationship, rather than think you're just sleeping around with employees?" Dom asked, immediately going on the defensive.  
  
 _Oh fuck, well if Dad didn't suspect fully, well there was all the proof he needed. Holy shit, my father knew I fucked other men. F-u-ck._  
  
I was about to growl something back at Dom, but my father held up his hand. "Now, Matthew, do control your temper. At least Howard here did the right thing, when were you going to tell me? Though, knowing you, you were probably planning on never doing so," he sighed, gripping the bridge of his nose in exasperation, a habit I knew I was partial to myself. I tried to dispute the fact but he just kept talking. "Come on now, Matthew. I do think I know my only child well enough by now, I have had 27 years to do so after all."  
  
I sighed in defeat, though could feel a strange trickling sensation over my right eyebrow and running along my temple.  
  
 _Shit, the knock, I'd been bleeding!_  
  
I instantly brought my hand up to check. Yes, red liquid coated my fingers. Fuck, it hurt. I'd begun to forget about the other two in the room, when Dominic suddenly brought the cloth back up to my head, his right hand flattening on my chest to lie me down again. Grumbling I did as instructed, glowering up at them both.  
  
"This is your fault anyway, Dad. If you could've just phoned like a normal human being, I wouldn't have bashed my head."  
  
"Matthew!" Dom gasped in horror, obviously not used to the complex relationship I shared with the man. Namely he'd been my first punching bag growing up. Not that he didn't sometimes scare the shit out of me too though.  
  
"I did, you never answered though, clearly you were too... _busy_ ," he choked out, going an awkward pink instead of the expected angry red. "You should listen to your, er, _b-boyfriend_ though, Matthew. I sometimes wonder if you even realise the way you speak to people. Though, I suppose that's my fault too, I should've been a stricter parent," he said with a deep sigh and sat down on the coffee table which had nearly claimed my life. Clearly he was wary about the couch, justly so I suppose.  
  
I just rolled my eyes, not in the mood to hear about what a difficult child I'd been to raise and how he was sorry _she'd_ left, how he should've done more, blah blah blah. It was always the same shit. Though I guess I should be glad that he wasn't giving me a hard time about Dominic (yet). That must've been quite a pill to swallow.  
  
So with a sigh, I knocked Dom's hand aside to hold the cloth to my own head, which made him frown with yet more...hurt? Well I wasn't disabled, I didn't need the man to bloody well dote on me, the expression I shot him showed as much, and in turn he lifted his eyebrows. Not impressed at all, but continued to kneel beside me none the less.  
  
Argh, I wasn't trying to fight with him, it was my dad that always just railed me up so. So, somewhat remorseful, I was about to actually apologise, when my father decided to finally cut back to the chase again. He did tend to have a habit of being rather direct, probably the only reason he hadn't really commented yet on the revelations of my skewed sexuality.  
  
"Anyway, Matthew, as I was saying, I actually came here to discuss something serious with you. Something it would appear you haven't even mentioned to Dominic."  
  
Dominic instantly straightened at this, reminded once more, and turned to face me questioningly.  
  
"Yes, what's all this about Somalia?" he asked, batting my hand away to go back to tending to my head, clearly determined to prove he wasn't a pushover. He was probably also trying to keep himself busy, I could tell the fact that I'd kept something from him was upsetting him and he didn't want to have an outburst in front on my dad.  
  
"Indeed, Matthew. I thought I made it clear that you were supposed to remain back here in London for at least nine months. Yet I have to now find out that you went behind my back and organised for yourself to go and do a piece on the effect of piracy off the Somalian coast on the tuna fishing industries!" he growled, the anger I'd been expecting to see earlier, finally surfacing.  
  
"Wait, what? 'Piracy'? 'Tuna'? What's this all about, Matt?" Dom asked, his expression unreadable.  
  
  
                                                                                                     ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Oh come on, Dominic. You know how important my work is to me, how much I've given up for it. I mean, I thought you would've been happy for me, that they chose _me_ to do the article!" Matt yelled storming back inside his house, leaving me to lock up.  
  
I'd been exposed to a full on Bellamy father and son feud, both ignoring my presence completely and just having it out at one another. Now though, I was round two for Matt.  
  
After Mr Bellamy had left eventually, Matthew having sworn blind that there was nothing Ian nor I could do to change his mind; he was going to do the piece and that was final, I'd taken Matt to the nearest clinic to get stitches. The wound he'd received from his knock ending up to require a few; the whole thing in itself proving to be rather a battle to convince the stubborn bastard he needed to get the deep gash looked at.  
  
We'd argued the whole time of course, there and back and were still at it. feel bad for the poor ER staff, but they just thankfully got on with things, no doubt eager to see the back of us.  
  
The madman was going off to do a piece on the piracy off the coast of Somalia, in the Indian ocean, and the effect it was having on the fishing boats out there, the area being one of the best places to fish for tuna. Matt was going to be staying two weeks aboard a French fishing vessel and then two more on a Spanish one, the article also looking into the two governments' different approaches to protecting their fishing boats. Oh, and the further catch was that Matt would be leaving to do the article in no less than a month, yet he hadn't even bothered to breathe a word of any of it to me. I felt hurt and angry that it had taken his father finding out for me to know, but I also felt extremely worried about him putting himself in danger.  
  
"Of course _I_ \- of all people- know how much it means to you and how much you've given up for it. If you can't recall I'm directly affected by it too! And yes, wow, I am proud that you got chosen, but I can't help but feel betrayed that you didn't even think I was important enough to tell about it all!" I shouted right back, having locked the door, I went and stormed in straight after him.  
  
"That's because I didn't even know if it really was going to happen until yesterday, I didn't want to jinx anything! I was planning on telling you over dinner tonight!" he yelled, throwing his jacket down on the couch.  
  
"Oh, so that's why you wanted to take me out is it? I wondered why you were suddenly being so nice to me, after having spent the past week ignoring me as much as possible and avoiding me like the fucking plague!" I spat, throwing my own leather jacket on top of his. "But no, it was just to butter me up, so that you could tell me you were planning on stupidly putting yourself in danger!"  
  
"That's not why, for fuck's sake, Howard. I've just been busy, I haven't been ignoring you! And yes, Dom, my job has its risks, but it always has, my job's a part of me. It's just how things are, if you don't like that, well then...then I don't know what we're doing together if you can't accept that I can't work a boring, everyday job in some stuffy, boring cubicle."  
  
"I accept your job has its...risks, but pirates, Matt? Can't you get that I worry about you, I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you. And I know it's always been your job to go to all these dangerous places, but you also need to understand that I didn't know you as well before, we weren't together and I, I...I didn't-"  
  
At this he frowned and opened his mouth, "Don't even say it, Howard. You don't mean it, I mean, how can you even? We've barely been together a month and no one else except our parents even know about it! My dad's opinion on it all is also still up for debate! So don't you dare throw that ridiculous word around!"  
  
I just glared straight back and continued anyway. "You stupid man, I do, Matt. I love you, for whatever fucking reason God alone only knows, and yes it's scary for me that you want to put yourself at risk. I also thought we told each other everything, yet you are only now just springing this on me? Of course I was always going to get upset!"  
  
"I did absolutely nothing wrong! And just stop saying that! Dom, please, just... Argh!!" he raged, pulling at his hair in his bout of emotions, only to wince as it hurt the stitches along his hairline. "Oh for fuck's sake!!"  
  
"Calm down, dammit, Matt. You're just gonna hurt yourself some more," I said, lowering my voice at last with a tired sigh. I didn't want to fight with him. But I also knew that nothing was going to change his mind: he'd be going to fucking Somalia and there was nothing I could do to stop him. He was also just not ready yet to hear how I felt.  
  
 _Time, Dom. Give him time, and he'll be fine. Relax. He's done stuff like this for years. Time..._  
  
"Stop telling me what to do!" he barked, turning to march off toward his room. "I'm a grown fucking man, I've been looking after myself for years, I know what I'm doing!!"  
  
Oh, I wasn't going to let it be that easy, I thought with a wary smile as I calmly followed after him, choosing to be the adult. Arguing was getting us nowhere, and based on our past fight? I knew one of us would just end up saying something we'd both regret later.  
  
When I walked into his room, he'd already kicked off his shoes and was lying on the bed, glaring angrily at the ceiling.  
  
"Matt, I'm not telling you what to do," I sighed and went to calmly sit down next to him on the bed.  
  
He took a deep sigh, finally trying to make an effort to cool down. "Then why does it feel like it? I thought you'd be happy for me, and that we'd be celebrating; the article, our results...instead-"  
  
"Instead, we're just arguing?" I finished and lay down. "Yet again, another Friday night gone to complete shit?"  
  
"Yes," he sighed and turned to look at me, wincing as the movement pulled at his wound again and I couldn't help cringing for him, the stitches looking rather painful.  
  
"How's your head?" I asked, deciding that a change of topic is what we desperately needed. No one was going to win this one.  
  
"Hurts like a bitch, but I'll survive," he grimaced with a shrug.  
  
"Haha, yeah. You gave us quite the scare. I think your dad couldn't decide whether to focus his energy on being worried about your head, or freaked at the fact that you and I were shagging," I said, grinning as his wickedly high-pitched laugh instantly cleared the thick atmosphere.  
  
"Oh my God, the poor bastard, I always thought he must have suspected something, but the way he kept looking between us? With that expression it couldn't be more obvious that he'd just only now found out. Shit, I just hope he doesn't take it too badly," Matt cackled, looking like he actually hoped the exact opposite, the spiteful little shit he is.  
  
I couldn't help laughing at this and poked him in the belly. "Oi, be nice. I thought he handled it all really well. The man deserves some credit."  
  
"Pssht, he can just be grateful he doesn't still have my spare key, 'cause would he have gotten the shock of his life then!" More wicked laughter bounced off the walls and I found myself laughing along loudly too, unable to help it. The thought of him walking in on his son naked and giving another naked man a good seeing to, too much.  
  
"Matt," I managed at last, when the laughter finally died down, propping myself up on an arm so that I could look down at him seriously.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, his big, blue eyes looking up cautiously.  
  
"Just--just, promise me you'll be safe, when you're there. Be careful," I asked, unable to hide the worry from my features.  
  
He sighed deeply, before sitting up and so prompting me to do the same. "Dom, I promise I'll do my best to keep out of the nasty pirates' clutches and return home safely to fuck you into oblivion."  
  
"Charming," I smiled weakly at him.  
  
"Of course," he grinned, that damn wonky tooth just making the whole absurdity of what he'd just said become rather more endearing and roguish, than uncalled for and crass.  
  
"But seriously, please, Matt. 'Cause I truthfully do love you- ah, relax and hear me out- you don't have to feel pressured into saying it too. I just seem to have fallen like a rock for your hot-headed self, despite my best efforts, and I can't help feeling scared for you."  
  
"I understand...heck, I can hardly blame you though, my 'hot-headed self' being a mighty fine catch and considering you've had the pleasure of seeing me naked after all," he grinned. "I'd probably feel the same in your position."  
  
Typical Matt, covering his feelings with humour (which was I suppose better than his preferred anger). I just smiled at him, accepting the fact that he really just wasn't ready, or that perhaps he really didn't feel the same, but at least now he'd accepted my feelings and had stopped pushing me away.  
  
"Let's not fight?"  
  
"Nope, we've certainly done more than enough of that this evening," I agreed, scrambling the last of the distance between us and cuddling into his inviting embrace.  
  
"Well, seeing as our sexy time has well and truly been put on hold- yet again I might add- why not order some pizza or something for dinner and we can...cuddle in here in front of the TV or something?"  
  
"What?!" I gasped in mock shock. "Matt Bellamy wants to sit and cuddle watching TV, while we eat pizza, instead of shagging me into the mattress?!"  
  
He just rolled his eyes good-naturedly, a small smile playing on his thin lips.  
  
"Well, we could still always...I just thought what with my head and the fact we've had such a crazy evening already, we could, I don't know, save that for later so it could be more...special?" he replied, his sharp cheekbones pinking a bit.  
  
"Matthew Bellamy, you truly are just filled with surprises, and not all of them are so bad," I laughed at the frown that formed on his face at this, only for him to curse as he'd pulled his stitches again in doing so. "Come'ere, you," I grinned, and pecked his lips, not surprised at all when his hands left their light hold around my waist, to instead fist in my hair as he pulled me into a proper, deep kiss.  
  
Leaning into him, our lips moving together with such practised ease, as we kissed, slowly and smoothly, the last of all the earlier tensions completely melted into nothing, as I melted into him. There was none of our usual rushed kissing, frantic to just strip one another so we could get with the sex already, instead we just seemed to be lost in the sensation; happy to simply keep kissing until an undetermined amount of time, only briefly breaking apart to take a breath, before sealing kiss-swollen lips once more.  
  
When we did eventually manage to stop, both of us panting breathily, I lay back with my head resting on his shoulder, his arms automatically winding around me and hands resting lightly on my belly, while he hummed and I felt incredibly comfy, gazing down fondly at the way he squeezed my hands when I laced our fingers.  
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you have freakishly long fingers?" I asked suddenly, the words the first in the quiet room for some time now, as I looked up briefly from the digits in question, which were now currently cradled in my own hands, to see that his eyes were calmly shut.  
  
A stunning blue iris suddenly made itself known, as Matt opened an eye to gaze back at me with an affronted expression, the other then joining in as he glanced down at his porcelain-coloured hands.  
  
"Fuck you, Dom. I have completely normal fingers! What's wrong with them?" he demanded, pulling them out of my grasp for closer inspection, his expression more of a front than genuinely offended.  
  
"I didn't say it was a bad thing!" I laughed, reclaiming my hold on his hands and bringing the left up to place a kiss on the tip of each slender digit. "Plus, you're an absolute genius with them when it counts," I couldn't resist adding, not so subtly, as I began repeating the action on the right hand, unable to stop myself from sneakily latching on to suck his bony middle finger, scraping my teeth suggestively down its length.  
  
" _Fuuuck_ , Dom, don't," he mewled, his back arching slightly at the delight my simple action brought him. "Cuddling and pizza, remember? If you continue on like that, I can't be held responsible for my resulting actions," he gasped as I sucked the digit all the way to the knuckle.  
  
"Fine, fine, fine, sorry, got a little carried away I guess. Basically though, there's not a thing wrong with them," I laughed, looking down at his right hand, middle finger glistening away with saliva. The pink, angry little scars that made jagged lines through the otherwise spotless flesh, caught my eye then and reminded me of a certain little bet that was still running. "Say, what did happen? To your fingers I mean," I asked, the marks definitely healing quickly since he'd taken the stitches out, so I figured I may as well ask now, as I ran my index finger along the scar tissue.  
  
When he didn't reply immediately, I looked up to see a light-pink blush spreading over his high cheekbones. "Well?" Seeing I wasn't going to let it go, he mumbled some sorry excuse for words; completely incomprehensible by my mere mortal ears. "Sorry, what?" I asked again, a small smile making its way on my face.  
  
Another muttered murmur.  
  
"Come on, tell me, babe," I laughed, turning in his arms so that I could look at him better, as I started poking at the softness bellow his sharp ribs.  
  
"But it's so stupid," he grumbled, trying to knock my hands away, but I could see that a little grin was just dying to form on his twitching lips.  
  
"Aww, please, for me?" I asked again, bringing my A game: big puppy-dog eyes and all. When he still didn't say anything, I gave him a big lick up the chin like a real puppy, which made him giggle at a freakishly high pitch. Delighted by the new little discovery, I repeated the action, making him splutter and finally giggle out the answer.  
  
"I-I punched...I punched a mirror!!" he gasped between mad giggles as I continued to poke and lick him.  
  
"You did what?" I asked, finally stopping. "What mirror, you plonker?"  
  
"The one that used to hang over there," he replied, trying his best to compose himself again as he pointed at a blank space on the wall nearby.  
  
"Why on earth would you punch a mirror though?" I asked, still puzzled, as I leaned my weight on my left forearm, remaining neatly tucked against his side.  
  
"It was when you'd stormed out that evening after our big fight and I'd been so furious...I ended up trashing everything as I vented; sadly including my hand..." he admitted, his cheeks still a light pinky hue. "It definitely wasn't my smartest mood, but I have a bit of a temper sometimes and then only see red," he continued, actually looking rather embarrassed.  
  
"Naww, I know you have a short temper, babe. Of course I do," I grinned, only making him scowl in response.  
  
Well guess the bet goes to me after all! Ha, I just knew it was self-inflicted! I obviously know Matthew better than either Jess, Tom or Chris. Which, I suppose I should... Anyways, I get to cash in. Sweet. What to do with my winnings though...  
  
"Dom, what on earth are you grinning about like a fool for?" Matt suddenly asked, snapping me out of my victorious inward gloating.  
  
"Nothing, don't worry. I'm just glad that we managed to sort everything out in the end and that your hand's healed," I replied, smiling down at him. Hey, it certainly wasn't a complete lie, I really did feel that way.  
  
" _Sure_ ," he said, clearly not buying it, but luckily decided to let it drop. "So, shall we order in some pizza then? What topping would you like?" he suggested, jumping up suddenly, making me lose my balance on my arm and face plant into the duvet, as he got up to go and hunt down his phone.  
  
"I'm not too fussed hey," I called back, my eyes shamelessly lingering on his pert arse as he bent down to go through his laptop case.  
  
"Ha!" he eventually called out in victory upon discovering the device. "Sheesh, Dad wasn't kidding, he really did call a ton of times," he then commented, making his way back onto the bed, where I sat up, leaning against the headboard and opened my arms for him.  
  
"Well, we were a little distracted I suppose," I grinned, as I wrapped my arms around him and he called up the pizza place.  
  
"True," he grinned straight back. "Okay, so seriously now, what would you like?"  
  
"Whatever you're having, as long as I can do this all night I'm happy," I smiled and pressed a kiss to his jaw just as the restaurant picked up the call and he was left to place our order, a smile of his own stretched on those little lips of his.  
  
I didn't exactly even hear which pizzas he did eventually end up ordering, as I persisted to kiss and nip at his jaw bone playfully, while he squirmed in my arms and tried to talk.  
  
"So cheeky," he soon muttered, when at last having finished and tossed his phone to the end of the bed, while he turned to exact his 'revenge'.  
  
I couldn't help thinking that, sex or not, shocked parents, accidental druggings and head injuries aside, Friday nights are fast becoming a favourite of mine, as Matt nipped my bottom lip and wiggled his eyebrows, only to hiss when he was quickly reminded of his latest set of stitches.  
  
"Well of course that'll hurt, you're just gonna have to think now before you do anything silly," I tutted, pecking his nose as he abandoned his vengeful quest, to instead bitch about his head.  
  
                                                                                                              ***  
  
It was only later that night, with Matt passed out in my embrace, a rerun of some or other Simon Pegg movie flashing in the background of the otherwise dark bedroom, that my mind returned to the whole Somalia debate.  
  
Of course I'd let go of the whole issue, not wishing to continue fighting and arguing with Matthew, grateful to have rather spent the night the way we had, but it didn't mean that I could just forget about it.  
  
He'd be gone for awhile, a whole month at least, and that's pretty scary considering how much time we spend together and see one another now and ever since everything between us began. What really scares me most though, is that he's going to be in harms way.  
  
I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to him, not now. Not when everything is suddenly going so amazingly between us.


	26. Chapter 26

  
It was with groggy confusion that I awoke to the smell of something burning. The room was still dark and a wave of panic flooded over me when I reached out for Matthew, only to find his side of the bed cold and empty.  
  
I immediately sat up straight, the sudden movement hitting me with a surge of vertigo as I stumbled to my feet. Questions were bombarding me as I tried to stagger through the pitch room in search of my boyfriend and the source of the smell.  
  
 _Shit, what was going on? Was the apartment on fire? And where the fuck was Matt?_  
  
It turned out I didn't have to worry for too long though, the questions answering themselves as I walked down he passage and could hear Matt cursing from the kitchen.  
  
"...for fuck's sake! Useless fucking, goddamn, imbeclic-"  
  
"Matt?" my voice rasped, breaking the string of expletives, as the sight of him crouching over the opened oven door could easily be made out, the kitchen the only area flooded with light. "What are you doing? It's still the middle of the night."  
  
At this he looked up, his eyebrows rising as he took me in, before quickly furrowing.  
  
"Well so much for that," he grumbled, lazily kicking the door of the oven shut behind him as he leaned his hip into the adjacent counter, arms folded across his chest.  
  
"Were you... _baking?_ " I asked, making my voice sound incredulous as I approached his grumpy-looking self, taking in the flour and other ingredients messily strewn about the surfaces.  
  
"So what if I was?" he snapped, clearly offended, so I tried to tone down the giant smile I could feel pulling at my lips.  
  
"Naww, I didn't even know you baked, though," I made a big show of taking a sniff of the surrounding air. "Judging by the burnt smell lingering around though, I'd say you're a little out of practise."  
  
"Har, har, har. You're a natural comic, Howard," he said with his signature eye roll.  
  
"You best be believing, babe," I winked, sidling up closer to him and putting my hands on his sharp hipbones. "But may I asked where the desire to suddenly start baking at two in the morning came from, hmm?" I asked, pecking his lips which were in a hard line. Clearly someone had woken up on the wrong side of the bed.  
  
" _I_ , if you must know, woke early and couldn't go back to sleep, 'cause stupid me decided to feel all guilty about you and this Somalia business for some reason. So I got up and decided to try and surprise you."  
  
"What, with charcoal?" I couldn't help but tease, he always got to do it, so it was high time I paid him back some of his own medicine.  
  
"Like I said, a natural born comic," he muttered, pushing me off him and stepping away from me.  
  
"Aw, Matt, don't be like that," I pouted at him, but he just rolled those pretty blues of his. Fine, be like that. So, instead, I went and chose to take a peak inside the oven at whatever poor sweet he'd only gone and burnt. "Brownies?"  
  
"Maybe." Well hello, Mr Sunshine, we meet once more.  
  
"Pity, I really like brownies," I sighed sorrowfully, closing the door, before inspecting the rest of the stuff lying about. Yip, the man was definitely messy in the kitchen, that's for sure, I thought taking in the flour dusting and chocolate mixture on the granite counter tops.  
  
"Well maybe next time you make the fucking things then," was his only delightful response. Blooming hell.  
  
I was just about to shout something snappy back at him, when my eyes suddenly came across the still generously chocolate-filled mixing bowl.  
  
 _Perfect._  
  
"Perhaps that would be best," I agreed coyly, casually picking up the mixing bowl and spoon there in, so that I could lick off some of the chocolatey goodness.  
  
"Oi, don't lick it and just put it back!" he reprimanded me and tried to grab the bowl from me.  
  
"Matt, chill out, babe," I  laughed at his predictable reaction, before dabbing his nose with the next spoonful. "It's actually surprisingly good and it looks like you've made more than enough mixture for another go at making brownies," I grinned back at his irate looking expression. "Yip, definitely yummy," I added after cheekily licking his nose clean, the blue of his eyes no doubt trying to fry me on the spot.  
  
I braced myself for his retaliation, and of course he didn't disappoint when he snatched the spoon and bowl from me and thwacked me spitefully with a good glob of brownie mixture.  
  
"Not so nice now, is it?" he demanded, before pelting me with more of the sticky stuff as I could only burst out laughing at his typically competitive response to my playful act.  
  
"Hey, you're getting it all over my tee!" I giggled trying to escape, as a new spoonful hit my chest and in the process splattered me in the face too.  
  
"Then maybe you should just take it off, eh?" he challenged, blue eyes glittering with a whole new twinkle of mischief. "Anyways, it belongs to me; wardrobe thief."  
  
"Fair enough." He didn't have to ask again. The black t-shirt hit the ground in a matter of seconds, only in time for my newly exposed flesh to make contact with a new scoop. "Cheeky little bugger, I only hit you once!" I complained and lunged for him.  
  
The wily little git he is, he managed to dodge and got me in the face and I could feel my hair coming worse off because of it. Shit, now this meant war.  
  
"Aww, did I hit your hair?" he pouted mockingly at me, clearly taking far too much pleasure from my horrified expression as I ran my hand through the stickily-coated strands of hair.  
  
"That's it, Bellamy. You, sir, are a dead man!"  
  
And just like that, I was running around his minimalistic kitchen, chasing after the man as he laughed manically, prompting myself to laugh stupidly in response, making the whole act of actually catching him and enacting my revenge a whole lot harder.  
  
"You run like a girl, Howard," he laughed, looking back at me. "You'll never catch me!"  
  
Just then though, I could see disaster was about to strike, but there was nothing I could do. In his typically show-offy manor of taunting me, he'd missed sight of some of the brownie mix that had missed me and instead ended up on the floor. His long, bony foot slid right through it and up his legs and feet went in the air, before he came crashing back to earth, arse first.  
  
"Shit, Matt, are you okay? You clumsy fool!" I asked, on the floor and at his side instantly.  
  
"What do you think?" he asked, waving his hands in the air and indicating the upturned mixing bowl, which, in his fall, had dumped the rest of its contents all over his previously lily-white torso.  
  
"Karma's a bitch, mate," I laughed, relieved to see that he was (for once) unharmed, except for gingerly rubbing his stitches.  
  
"Prick," he spat playfully and before I could react, dumped the chocolatey mixing bowl on my head, his high-pitched laugh sounding as he cackled with delight at my surprised yelp.  
  
"MATT!! MY HAIR!!" I yelled, instantly throwing the bowl off, but it was too late, whatever mixture hadn't ended up all over Matt, was now in my hair and I could even feel some running down the back of my head and temples.  
  
"What? It's a good look on you," he grinned as innocently as he could, but I wasn't taking any of it.  
  
Shaking my head and sending a bit of mixture droplets spraying in the process, I pushed him back down on the floor and straddled his thighs. He squirmed and tried to escape, but I could tell the attempt wasn't wholehearted.  
  
"Ah-uh, you're going nowhere, mister," I laughed, pinning his hands above his head with my left hand and began to playfully smudge the brownie mix on his chest and stomach.  
  
"What the fuck are you up to, Howard?" he asked, biting down on his lip and so reminding me of the little fact of his ticklishness, as he tried to lift his head and get a better view of his abdomen. "'MB loves DH's cock'? Seriously? God, you're immature sometimes," he scoffed, but quickly stopped as I lent over his sticky body and began to lap at the chocolatey goodness coating his nipples. "Guhhhh...okaaay...ungh..."  
  
When I snuck a glance up to see that he'd gone completely slack-jawed and that his eyelashes were fluttering over suddenly heavy eyes, I knew I had him.  
  
"Hmm, you like this?" I asked smugly. "'Cause I certainly do. There I was thinking you couldn't taste even better..."  
  
"This isn't exactly the most hygienic approach, you know?" he bitched instead, but I continued to quickly lap my way down his chest.  
  
"So? Quite frankly I'm surprised we haven't already done something like it before," I grinned up at him, before I fixed my mouth over his practically chocolate-filled bellybutton and slurped up some of the brownie mix that had run amuck.  
  
"Shit," he couldn't help gasp, the muscles of his stomach all tensing and fluttering madly at the same time, as I easily sucked up the sweet.  
  
"Plus you're obviously enjoying it. Not so grumpy are we now?" I finally asked, having thoroughly sucked up all of it, leaving red hicky marks around his admittedly cute bellybutton in my wake.  
  
"'Grumpy'?! Huh, I was just trying to actually be nice! But you laughed at my effort!" he growled, having managed to find his voice again. "Seriously, this was _the_ last time I do som-" but naturally I cut the bossy sod off, leaning up and smothering his mouth with my own, chocolate-covered, one. Instantly putting an end to his babbling.  
  
 _That's what I thought._  
  
It didn't take any convincing before he was readily kissing me back, his recently released hands quickly knotting in my hair, only to be reminded of its sorry state.  
  
"Fuck, Dom," he whined, breaking the kiss and wiped his hands furiously down my back, a string of curses accompanying the action.  
  
"Oi, you're the one that put it in my hair in the first place, sparky. I guess karma just struck again!" I cackled happily. I was fine with the brownie mix smudged on my chest and face, but my hair had definitely been a step too far.  
  
"Oh shut up and let's just get back to snogging," he growled and reached up to nip my bottom lip, before that well-trained tongue of his slid back home into my mouth.  
  
So I happily sucked on the familiar, warm muscle, making him moan and forget about my hair all over again as he grabbed the back of my head with a hand and pulled me down closer. The kiss was, of course, insanely sweet and sent my heart racing as I felt his other hand begin to work on snapping my boxers' elastic playfully, although definitely not in a subtly suggestive manner.  
  
"Fuck, you're hot," I eventually managed, pulling away for some air and gazed down at my boyfriend's flushed face and pupil-filled eyes. His lips were all kiss-swollen already and brownie mix was smeared around them and down his chin.  
  
"You're not too bad yourself," he grinned, reaching up to push (paste) back some of my hair.  
  
I just smiled back, feeling my cheeks heat for a different reason, his compliments- although no longer never given anymore- still always sent a small thrill of shock and pleasure through me. So, before he could add anything snarky to ruin the moment for me, I pecked his lips and began working my way down again, sucking on his gorgeous long throat and lapping up some more brownie goo that had gathered at his prominent collarbones, before I'd reached his belly again.  
  
"Fuck, you were right, why haven't we already done something like this?" he sighed, happily wiggling beneath me as I swirled circles with my tongue.  
  
"No clue, but more importantly, why haven't we already done the deed?" I asked, my face now hovering over the definite tent in his navy boxers, a damp patch easily guiding me to the tip of his trapped cock.  
  
"I'll be fucked if I know- and no that doesn't mean you're topping!- but just hurry up and help pull these blasted things off me already!" he replied, his hands trying to push my own, which were currently fixed on his hips, away so that he could push down the pants.  
  
"Your wish is my command," I laughed, rolling my eyes at the way he'd had to elaborate for my benefit. I wouldn't have expected anything else. So, a quick peck to the material-covered bulge later and I yanked his boxers down, his cock quickly springing up as I dragged the pants down and tossed them aside, before getting up to discard my own ones.  
  
"Jesus, faster, Dom! Wanna fuck you so bad, been waiting far too long. Fuck. Nothing's stopping us now, everything else be fucked," I heard him whinge as I threw my green boxers somewhere in the direction of the lounge, before going back to stradle my horny-as-fuck boyfriend, who had already begun palming himself.  
  
"Here," I batted his hands away, grabbing a wrist in each of my own hands and forcing them down to lie either side of his head, as I shifted myself further up his slender (and still incredibly sticky) body. "Don't worry, nothing- and I mean _nothing_ \- is going to get in the way now."  
  
"Damn straight," he practically growled from somewhere deep in his throat. "Now start prepping or let go of me, so I can get with stretching you already. Just, _fuuuuck_ , hurry!!"  
  
Laughing, I did as the literally drooling brunet demanded, jamming three fingers in his mouth and he quickly yet still efficiently doused and coated them, before impatiently bucking his hips upwards as soon as I'd withdrawn them and begun steadily fucking myself, first with one and then with two fingers.  
  
"Jesus, Dom, the faces you're pulling! I'm sure you're ready now! Come on, I'm quite literally dying here!" Never one to watch in silence, Matt kept begging and spurring me on, even bucking up his hips every now and then, but just as desperate- although wielding undoubtedly far better self-control for a change- I quickly finished, as Matt spat on his hand and reached behind me to get his cock as slicked as possible.  
  
"Wow, you become quite the sex demon when you've gone without any for awhile," I commented, pulling my fingers out and reaching back for his cock, causing our hands to brush, as together we lined him up.  
  
"Best I not disappoint, and fuck you like one too then," he leered, before both of our eyes fluttered, the head of his cock just pushing against my opening.  
  
"Well then, what're you waiting for? If past events haven't taught you anything..." I tried to joke, though it took a lot of effort thanks to the current positioning of certain key body parts.  
  
"You really are a cheeky wench, Howard," he growled, letting go of his cock and leaving my left hand to do the guiding as he grabbed hold of my hips.  
  
"I'm no woman, Bellamy!" I shot back, tempted to add something involving the fact that I'd nearly broken his arse not too long ago in, before every other thought aside from the pure mix of perfect pain and pleasure instantly shooting through me took over, as he gave one sudden, powerful thrust up and past any resistant muscle.  
  
Crying out, unable to hold it back even if I wanted to, my hands stumbling behind me as I grabbed onto his legs for some form of support while he very quickly established a steady snapping with his slim, yet powerful hips beneath me.  
  
"Oh, _GOD!_ " I cried as he hit my prostate with practised ease, again and again, clearly indicating that our first time bare would most definitely be a hard, quick fuck.  
  
"R-ride me, lover," he ordered, the choice of name somehow managing to reach me through my bliss-filled haze, but I decided to not comment, my focus now only on feeling the pure, unadulterated heat of him stretching me open from the inside, in only the most excruciatingly divine way I'd ever experienced thus far.  
  
"M-Matt, so big, so good, so Matt, Matt..." Despite my mouth's malfunctioning I did as the man demanded, and steadily began to take control of our movement, the rare opportunity to lead the proceedings definitely not being taken lightly. He grunted with effort, still keeping his thrusts in time with my downward ones, as I rode him, my body now leaning over his, arms desperately trying to keep me in place and my hands either side of his chest.  
  
The cold floor was murder on my knees as I used them to help drive my movements, his long fingers too were digging rather painfully into the skin of my thighs, as he used them for his own anchor point, but quite honestly I didn't give a flying fuck. How could I when I was currently having my mind blown with the type of rapid, desperate and (although the stubborn bastard would never admit to it) passionate sex one could usually only ever dream about?  
  
"Faster, ride me faster. So...so...tight and...smooth and...Jesus, it's me...just m-me. Just y-you...and me, lover," he moaned, as lost in the moment as I was, his beautiful, ocean-blue eyes not leaving mine for a second, as I sped up, a warm, white glow slowly clouding my vision and sneaking up on me, the pit of my stomach burning with the start of my orgasm as electric tingles worked up my spine.  
  
Sensing I was oh so close, despite his own, similar state, the twitching and pulsing of his rock-hard dick inside me hard to miss, Matt reached out and began mercilessly wanking me with his right hand, the other reaching up to finally bring me down, our chests sliding thanks to the forgotten brownie mix coating us. Without breaking the now rather frantic movement of driving myself down on him, our lips met in sloppy, chocolate accented kisses.  
  
"This...is... _sooo_...amaz-zing," I panted heavily, his teeth sliding down my bottom lip, before letting it 'pop' free.

  
"Well, it's about...to get...even better." His sweet, hot breath hitting my face as he suddenly let go of my cock, to instead grab my hips once more, before he easily managed to flip us. "Expect to see stars."

Now having the perfect angle for allowing him better control of his hips, he easily took charge, with me happily going back to my usually more submissive role, as he began to fuck me in earnest, snapping his hips harder and faster and thrusting even deeper than before. His eyes still never letting go of their hold on me.

Until he lost control of them that is.

As his hand's movement on my cock (it having returned about as soon as he'd flipped us) and hips' thrusting had become all the more erratic, it wasn't a huge surprise when his eyes rolled back and I could finally witness one of my favourite sights once more. As undeniably hot as my boyfriend is; there is absolutely nothing more beautiful than the look on his face when he comes. The only challenge was trying to hold back my own orgasm, and keeping my eyes open so that I could witness the sight.

Matt didn't disappoint, eyes tightly shut, jaw slack and mouth opened wantonly as he cried out my name, his release shooting hotly into me and threatening to pull me straight over with him, but I summoned all of my willpower and tried to hold back my own climax for just a little bit longer, so that I could fully take in the sight of Matt peaking his state of bliss, before I too was suddenly soaring, my own hot cum spilling between our stomachs.

 

When at last my senses once more rooted in the present, still on a somewhat cloud nine-ish version though, I opened my eyes to see that Matt had curled up on top of me, his head of sweaty, dark hair nestled in the crook of my neck, while his slender fingers traced light patterns absentmindedly down the still sensitive skin of my side.

Sensing my stare though, he looked up at me, his pretty blue eyes all lazy and warm, the sight sending a whole new kind of warmth spreading through my body. My expression probably sending too much soppiness his way, he typically rolled his eyes good-naturedly, before resting his dark head of hair back against my shoulder, placing a lazy, wet kiss on my neck in the process.

Still smiling stupidly to myself, I just wrapped my right arm around his still clammy body and leafed sleepily through his damp locks of darkened hair with my left hand, before I suddenly remembered something.

"Matt?" I asked gently, but he didn't reply, making me think he may already have drifted off- a habit of Matt's I've noticed: nothing helps relax him for sleep like sex does. "Matty babe?" I tried again, lightly brushing his damp fringe off his forehead. The man's hair is definitely getting to be on the long side, talk about a hypocrite, it's about the same floppy length mine was when we first started our shenanigans and he requested I cut it.

This time he grunted in reply. So clearly he hadn't fallen asleep, just yet.

"What was with the name, hmm?" I asked and immediately felt his slim frame tense up.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he grumbled, voice somewhat muffled as his face was buried in the crook of my neck.

"Come on, Matt. You do too! What was it you called me now... _'Lover'_ , I believe?"

At this he groaned. "Shut up, Howard."

"Aww, no, but I wanna know," I persisted, wiggling a finger into his side and making him squirm, he was left desperately trying to hold back giggles and squeaks in response, as my finger attacked the ever sensitive hollow under his arms.

"Dom! Sto-op!!" he cried out at last, before I received a sharp elbow to the gut, effectively putting an end to my 'attack'.

"I'm serious though," I pouted as, having propped himself up a bit so that he could look down at me, he proceeded to glare. "It, was cute," I grinned, cupping his cheeks and pushing them together to give him a a fat, pouty fish face.

The expected eye roll came of course, as he shook his face free of my hold. "I-I, well...ugh, I don't know, it just kinda came out, okay? Drop it now."

"Naww, but it was so, hmm..." I continued to tease, pretending to think of the appropriate word to describe what I thought of the unexpected name.

"Howard. Drop. It." Ooh, he'd even used his whole serious and official 'I'm still your boss' tone.

So, choosing to just let him off the hook for now, I instead just reached up to give his lips a good kiss, before I rolled him off and got up. It was when I bent down to pick up the discarded mixing bowl and wooden spoon though, that I heard his manic cackle of a laugh fill the kitchen.

I didn't need to ask what he found so funny though, as I could feel the source of his amusement sliding and dripping down from... Well, you know, anyway it was headed down my thighs- definitely not the most pleasant of sensations for sure. I'd just thought he'd be a bit more mature about it all. My mistake.

"Fuck, Dom," he cackled, spindly hands clutching at his stomach which bunched up and shook with his laughter. "Guess I did turn you into a fountain in the end after all- instead it's just my cum and not yours!" At this he was even wiping back a tear.

The scrawny little weasel.

"Ha-ha-ha, it's fine, that's it, laugh all you want now. We'll see how funny it is when it's your turn!" I countered, putting the stuff in the sink before I looked back at his decidedly different disposition.

His laughter fit having been put to an abrupt halt, my own quickly begun thanks to the ridiculously incredulous look of horror on his face.

"Come on, you, let's go take a shower," I eventually managed to say, once I'd calmed down, instantly prompting his expression to brighten and reawaken that twinkle in his azure eyes.

"A shower you say? And, seeing as we don't have to rush to work..."

"Matt, again?" Laughter ruining the feigned serious and tired approach I'd been going for.

"Hey, who said cleaning has to be boring, eh?" he grinned, his spark most definitely back and all thoughts of exhaustion clearly having flown out the window. "Ooh, and shotgun for you washing all this leftover chocolate gunk and spunk off me!" he added, shamelessly stretching his naked form out across the tiled flooring as he scratched at his sticky tummy.

 

                                                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Matt, Matt, your phone," I heard Dominic's groggy voice as he shook me gently.

I just groaned in response, my face buried into the mattress sheets and body still fantastically boneless. I felt absolutely, impossibly comfortable and had no desire to wake up yet, but the blond persisted and poked me with a cold object that could only be my mobile, as it vibrated and rang out. How had I even managed to ignore that before?

I blindly reached out for it and slid across the spot where I knew the accept call was, before bringing it to my ear and grunting "hello" into it; all without having opened my eyes yet.

"Matt? You're not seriously still asleep are you, mate?" I heard Morgan's voice carry through as he laughed at my expense.

"Well I _was_ , but thanks to you I'm now awake," I grumbled, my voice still all gruff from sleep. At that I could now also hear a sleepy chuckle come from Dom too, as I felt him shuffle even closer and begin to place lazy kisses down my back.

"Always so friendly, my mate Matt is," Morgan's voice said. "You do know it's like after lunchtime though, right? And you're still in bed, you lazy bastard. Do you have a bird over or something?"

At this I felt more chuckling reverberate from Dom, through his kisses on the warm skin of my lower back.

"Hmm, I guess you could say that," I replied coolly, not too surprised when I felt Dom lift the thin sheet, that had been somewhat covering my lower half, to deliver an offended nip to my right butt cheek in retaliation.

"Ah, well, best you get up- like as in now- 'cause I need to pick up those tapes from you. I've literally just walked up to the front of your building, so if you could also buzz me up, that would be great."

"Tapes?!" I asked sitting bolt up right and knocking Dom aside in the process.

"Um, yeah. The ones you took home after the show yesterday? Anyway, I'm here, so put some pants on and open up already," with that he put down the phone. Of course I knew exactly what he was talking about. Shit, I just didn't think he'd come by so early to collect them for this evening's broadcast.

But when I opened my eyes for the first time and looked over at my bedside clock to see that it already read '15:42' (not so early after all), I could only groan and flop my head back into the pillows.

" _Fuuuck._ "

"What's wrong, babe?" Dom asked, now kissing where he'd previously nipped me. "Was that Morgan?" This time his head back up next to mine, his soft lips brushing lightly against the side of my neck.

"Yeah, he's here to pick up some tapes," I groaned, before reluctantly getting up and looking over at Dom, when I was suddenly struck with something. "Oh, shit. Morgan's here and you're here! Shitfuckshitfuck-"

"Relax, Matt. I'll just stay in the room or something?" Dom suggested, looking far too relaxed as he just lay back against the pillows, while I began scrambling around for my trousers.

"Well I guess you'll have to," I agreed, jumping into my trousers which had been draped over the love seat. "But you better keep quiet! I swear, Dominic, if you so much as alert him to your presence- boyfriend or not- I will fucking end you!" I warned him, hurriedly doing up my fly and button, before buckling my belt, the sounds of my buzzer already going. Morgan had never been the most patient bloke.

"Good morning to you too, my sweet sunshine," he muttered, but I shot him a look as I left the room then. I couldn't help the slight grin that formed when he immediately called back after me though. "Yes, I promise. I'll be dead silent! He'll never know!"

                                                                                                    ***

"Well you certainly took your time," Morgan greeted me, but I didn't miss the way his eyes swept over my admittedly scruffy appearance. "Nice hickies, she have a bit of a bellybutton kink?" he then chuckled, prompting me to look down at my stomach. Upon seeing that there were indeed 'love bites' around my navel, I could feel my cheeks actually beginning to heat (something that used to never happen to me in the past with such things).

_Fuck's sake, Dominic._

"Uh, yeah... Well, um, I'll quickly get those tapes, they should be on the coffee table," I said, eager to switch topics as I went over to the TV room and grabbed the infernal things, which were still thankfully where I'd left them even despite my little tumble with the table the previous evening.

"Nice boxers, I didn't know you were in to green leopard print," Morgan laughed teasingly, a pointed look in the direction of Dom's discarded pants from last night, which were currently dangling on the lamp nearby.

_Fucking hell, Howard._

"Er, uh, yeah? They were a gift! Anyway, ignore that- here are the tapes," I tried, hands outstretched with the damn things, but Morgz seemed determined to take a little snoop around. Fuck's sake.

He didn't even accept them as, the nosy git he clearly is, he walked to the kitchen releasing a low whistle. "Someone sure got peckish last night! Famous chocolate brownies go down a treat then?" he grinned as I walked over, rolling my eyes at his eyebrow wiggle, before making another attempt to offhand the tapes. When he eventually focused back on me though, his eyes widened slightly and he _still_ didn't take the bloody tapes from me. "Shit, Matt. What the fuck happened to your head? Don't tell me you got back into that shit? I still remember from our Uni days; the way you'd always come back from a night out shagging, covered in all sorts of injuries! You always did love a rough, hard-"

"Enough, Morgan! My head's fine, I just knocked it on the coffee table- didn't even sustain a concussion. Now please just take the fucking tapes and piss off already!" I said, interrupting him as soon as I could. He was talking pretty damn loud, and knowing Dom, the equally nosy blond was also probably listening in as carefully as possible.

"Aw, but, Matty mate, can't a bloke just worry about his best mate? You know I love you, shorty." That definitely earned him a major eye roll perfectly paired with the mother of all sighs of frustration. "She's still here, isn't she? Hence you're so eager to turf me out."

"Out. Morgan. Now."

"Ah-huh, knew it! I wanna meet the bird, Matty. You always used to let me! And this one sure seems like one heck of a firecracker!"

At this I just shoved the fucking tapes in his hands and began to actually physically try push him out the front door.

"Whoa, who is she that you won't let me see her?! Come on, don't be like this, Matt," he tried reasoning with me, but I had him out the door in no time.

"See you at work, Morgan."

"But, Matt, I-"

_Slam._ Groaning at the whole situation, I then went and barged into my room once more to find Dom with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face and in a pair of my underwear that most certainly belonged where I'd put them: the very back and bottom of my underwear drawer. So, clearly not only had the bastard listened in on everything, he'd also gone digging through my shit. The fucker.

"Nice briefs," he grinned, clearly loving the death glare I was shooting him. "Never knew you were such a patriot." An even bigger, come-smack-me-silly grin stretched across his irritating face.

"Shut the fuck up and take the fucking things off, _now_." My voice was steely and stern, even to my own ears.

"Aw," he pouted before turning around to give me a view of the other side, and namely that toned, firm masterpiece of an arse of his as he bent over my bed, the deliciously moulded Union Jack high in the air. "Even if I asked you to fuck me in them?" At this, the cheeky git had even gone and looked over his shoulder at me, golden hair still all fluffy from waking and gorgeous grey eyes all wide and innocent.

The little tease knew he had me.

"Fine, but then we never speak of the fucking things again," I relented, not at all surprised when his face split into a giant smile, big, white teeth on full display. He'd known from the start that he'd end up winning.

"Well then, what are you waiting for, stud?"

"Ugh," I couldn't help groaning at this as, shaking my head, I dragged my hands down my face. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

Of course it only took a wiggle of that frustratingly perfect bum, to chase away my admitted embarrassment at owning the damn things in the first place, and to get me tossing aside my shirt and hopping back out of my jeans, thanking whoever's out there for the fact that I hadn't even bothered with underwear. The whole while though, I was acutely aware of his darkened-grey eyes devouring every inch of hastily revealed skin.

Yet, I don't know what he was on about for once, as when- now actually taking in the sight of him and the atrociously in-your-face briefs- I found it hard to look at anything else. The stark red, blue and white, made his lightly tanned skin stand out deliciously perfectly, and don't even let me get started on the way the tight, form-fitting material just clung oh so snugly to his arse, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Not that my imagination really needs much help though when it comes to said arse, which could only be the work of gods.

It of course didn't take long before I was kneeling down behind him and running my teeth against the taught muscle of his thin fabric-clad arse, my fingers digging into his hips, the tips just dipping under the briefs, as I held him in place while he moaned, lustful and appreciative.

"Jesus Christ, Matt, you know I love it when you use those teeth of yours," he practically whimpered, his hands fisting in the sheets as I began to peel away more and more of the tourist trap knickers, my teeth now grazing the silky skin of his peachy arse. One of the only places yet to be touched by whatever form of tanning he indulges himself in.

At his comment, I just growled and tugged the damn briefs down his slim, toned thighs, to just below his knees, before I pushed him further down, my thumbs parting the cleft of his arse immediately, allowing for a firm cheek for each palm.

"I-I already prepped myself," he gasped as I lightly blew over his exposed entrance. The piece of information stopped me instantly though.

"Fuck, the things you do to me, Howard," I groaned, sliding my bare front then up and across the flawless expanse of his back, until I was draped over him, my erection (not so subtly I might add) pushing between his arse cheeks, the head of my already practically leaking cock making no secret of where it was headed.

"Here," he simply replied, hand popping up with a tube of lube in it. "Like I said, I've prepped, so just slick up and get the fuck in already."

Speechless, I did what the man asked without second thought, pulling back a bit to squirt some of the gel into my palm, before generously coating my already more than raring to go dick. I then just tossed the lube aside somewhere, before getting back into position.

"You ready?" I asked, cockhead already poking against his hole once more.

"Aww, you're even asking nicely these days!" he chuckled as he leaned back a bit himself to gift my cheek with a firm kiss.

"God save the fucking Queen!" Was all that burst forth from my mouth as I easily managed to push through, immediately all the way in deep. Dom too cried out, although his words were far less easily decipherable; and of what I could make out, amongst all the beautifully shrill curses, his was something more to do with my cock and the fact that a Union Jack would never hold the same meaning for him again.

Our coupling, of course, didn't last long, with both of us coming with an alarming amount of force pretty soon, especially considering the previous night's (morning's) numerous 'romps'.

Sweat-dampened hair curling at the back of my neck and along my temples, I managed to pull out, roll off and over onto my back, legs still partially hanging over the edge of the bed, as my head lazily flopped to the side to regard Dom's own blissed out expression, while also trying to calm down the rapid rate of my chest's rising and falling. He just smiled back dopely at me, still with his front pasted to the bed, face half squished into the mattress, as he reached out his right hand to rest on my perspiration-slicked chest; clearly still wanting some form of skin-on-skin contact.

 

"So, you were into a bit of BDSM then." The first words to eventually break the sound of just our laboured breathing, after what felt like ages of just staring into one another's eyes as they slowly toned it down a bit on the whole 'pupils exploding with lust' thing, was not a question, but rather more of a statement.

"Ugh, I just knew you were listening in on us," I groaned, managing to finally find the willpower to bring up a hand to spike my fringe off my sticky forehead. "You nosy little fucker, Howard. But anyway, it's not like it should come as much of a surprise to you, no?"

"Well, I've long since established that you like it a bit rough every now and again, especially before our relationship really got kicked off... But the closest we've ever really come was that time you made me wear a corset."

I just groaned some more and turned away from him. "Well, yeah and we all know what happened the next day. Besides, I don't think you could handle it- at least not the real kinky shit that I like."

At this reply, however, I soon felt that he'd turned too and had his back pushed up right against me, his right hand firmly gripping my hip in a blatantly possessive manor. "And what makes you say I haven't already, huh?" he growled into my ear. Before I could respond, however, I was cut off mid jaw drop. "Anyway, as for these delightful things," he said, suddenly (and unbelievably) changing the topic, as he rolled back over onto his back, prompting me to do the same as he shuffled the Union Jack themed briefs the rest of the way down and kicked them up back to his hands so that he could catch the offensive item, while I still stared back at him with wide eyes.

How could he just change the topic after delivering a bombshell like that?!

"Before I allow you to hide them away or- gasp worse- chuck 'em out, I'm going to insist on seeing you in them too. After all it would only be fair. Anyway, they do actually belong to you..."

Instantly any thoughts of obsessing over what kinds of sex the man before me had possibly indulged on in the past, vanished (well no, not really; more like were just put on hold for now) to be replaced by a downright incredulous cry of "fuck that shit!!" both out and within myself.

"Well of course, that's precisely what I intend to do!" the sickeningly smug blond grinned, cheekily slapping my bare arse and crawling on top of me, before smothering any witty and blatant response I could say with his mouth hotly over mine, as he trapped me beneath him. Of course I protested and tried to push free, but who was I even really trying to kid? As far as I was concerned there was no better place to be than right there and then.


	27. Chapter 27

  
"Well don't you look thoroughly satisfied and exhausted lately!" Jess greeted me as I groggily opened the front door for her and Tom, who now seemed to always join her on such surprise stop bys.

It had been two weeks of...well, intense shagging and I was completely kaput, Matthew having quite literally fucked the last bits of energy out of me. Sleep. That's what I'd been trying to catch up on, only for my best mates to decide they felt like dropping by and disturbing me.

"Nice hickeys," was Tom's greeting, as he poked a particularly prominent one on my collarbone. They'd both arrived out of the blue, while I'd been sleeping, so all I'd done was pull on a pair of joggers, stupidly leaving my marked torso open to their scrutinising.

"Yip, Matthew apparently likes the taste of our Dom here, you should've seen him when they first started," Jess said, nodding her head knowingly while Tom laughed.

"Ugh, what do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to catch up on sleep, I have to be well rested for this evening's prime time slot - after all you two should know that," I grouched, begrudgingly letting them in as I closed the door behind them.

_Fuck I'm tired._

"Well someone's chipper this fine day," Tom laughed, his arm instantly wrapping over Jess' shoulders when they went to sit down on my couch.

I simply rolled my eyes and trudged over to the kitchen. "You lot want something to drink then?" I offered, putting the kettle on. Coffee, I needed it like oxygen right now.

"Nah, thanks though, Dommy," Jess answered from the living room. "Actually we just stopped by to pass on a message. I could've called, but we were close by and I figured we haven't really seen much of you lately; away from work that is."

"Indeed, you spend all your free time these days locked up shagging your twat of a boyfriend," Tom agreed, making me go back over to them as the kettle boiled (a watched pot never boils and all that).

"Excuse me, what did you just refer to Matt as?" I asked in indignation, my hands on my hips and everything.

"Your boyfriend?" Tom cheekily answered batting his eyelashes.

"Ha! Speaking of twats for boyfriends, you sure picked yourself a fine specimen there, Jess," I said to her, as I plonked down on the sofa opposite them, crossing my legs and shooting Tom daggers.

"Oh, Dom. Why are you so grumpy?"

"Um, maybe 'cause you woke me at," I checked my wristwatch and sighed, "half eight. Sheesh, couldn't you have waited just a little bit longer before coming to disturb me? You don't even want to know what time I managed to come home."

"You're right, we don't," Tom was quick to say.

I simply rolled my eyes, and Jess took this as her cue to deliver her message.

"Beth's in town, she says she'd love to see you before she goes." Great. Big sister Beth still didn't choose to contact me first, she preferred to pilfer my friend and use her to pass on messages, instead of picking up a phone and giving me a ring like any normal person would. But then her and Jess had always gotten on better than I ever had with my soccer mom of a sister.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that we disliked each other, more that we'd never had anything in common. Besides, I found her husband, Sean, to be a complete moron if ever there was one.

Instead of asking why she hadn't bothered to tell me the news herself, I instead asked Jess something I'd been thinking about now for the past few days. "Jess, you know my spare house key - I leant it to you when you looked after my place in December? - I don't suppose you could give it back?"

"Of course I will, I just don't have it here at the moment. Gosh, I've had it for ages, you should have reminded me, I feel so bad! What's the sudden rush though, might I ask?" she asked, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns along the top of Tom's hand, which rested on her thigh.

"Er, well, I thought I may as well give them to Matt, seeing as we spend half our time here when we're not at his," I shrugged sheepishly and the two whistled, Tom laughing.

"That's quite a step, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised by how well the two of you are apparently doing together," Jess commented, Tom nodding.

"Yeah, especially considering the only piece of evidence we have, is that picture of him drooling in your lap!"

"Oh shit, I forgot about that. You have _got_ to delete that picture!" Shit, how could I have forgotten? Matt would _kill_ me if he ever found out.

"I don't think so, keeping it for the perfect occasion, when I can think of just how best to use it," Tom laughed, while Jess giggled and got up.

"I'm just gonna pop off to the loo and then we'll leave you to your nap, Dommy," she winked, before leaving Tom and I alone.

"So, do-"

"I'm going to ask her to move in," Tom suddenly blurted out, making my eyebrows shoot into my hairline.

"So soon?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't known they'd been getting quite so serious so soon.

"Yeah, I can't think of anything better for us. Plus it'll be a relief to get to minimise my awkward attempts at polite conversation with her father."

"Oh my word, Tom," I laughed loudly. "Mr Brown is a lovely old man!"

"Ha! Maybe to you, after all you're the gay best friend, not the man he knows is shagging his precious angel."

Tom's bluntness and sense of humour, which I hadn't realised how much I'd actually missed, mixed with my current state of exhaustion, had me in nothing short of hysterics by the time Jess came back.

"What are you two laughing about?" she asked with a confused smile, as I continued to laugh away, Tom unable to do anything but join in.

                                                                                                         ***

"Howard, in my office, now," I heard Matthew call after filming.

"Ooh, looks like you're wanted," Jess winked, as we grabbed our papers and stepped out from the anchor desk.

"Indeed, wonder what it's about though," I agreed, unclipping and handing my small mic to one of the techies.

"Oh, I think we both know," she whispered low enough for only me to hear, as we exited the studio. "After all, how long has it been; a day?"

"Cheeky," I laughed. "But no, that wasn't his 'get ready for me' voice. I think that he actually does have something important to tell me."

"His 'get ready for me' voice? Oh God, Dom, I love you," she laughed as we made our way into the main office and had to part ways. "But good luck though, hope it's nothing too serious and you can get with the fucking shortly. After all, we wouldn't want either of you to get blue balls from lack of-"

"Jess," I hissed, fearing she was getting too loud, the office far too crowded for this kind of talk.

She just laughed unapologetically and made off in the direction of her own office, before I turned and headed over to one of the bigger offices on this floor.

I of course knocked politely before entering, which certainly made a change from the usual procedure, but I still locked the door behind me on pure instinct.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked, finding Matt leaning against his desk, hands supporting himself behind him, as he just rolled his eyes in a decidedly Matt response.

"I did ask to after all, didn't I?" he sighed, pushing off from the desk and meeting me halfway. "Something's come up, and I thought I may as well tell you now, before you have another little freak out about me 'never telling you anything'."

_Okay, already not a good start..._

"Yes, what is it?" I asked, ignoring the jab, but unable to ignore the bad feeling I had building in my gut. What did he want to say?

"I'm going to be leaving three days earlier for my trip to Somalia. The higher ups figured that seeing as I'm going already, they may as well save resources a bit and have me report on the situation there between the Kenyan army and al-Shabaab, what with the recent Kenyan mall bombing. Also, seeing as I've got a lot of experience with war correspondence, they figure I'm one of the best men for the job," he said with a shrug, clearly trying to play down the importance of what he'd just said.

"So let me get this straight; before going off to flirt your fate with fucking pirates, you decided that that wasn't dangerous enough and are now going to the war torn inland too?!"

"Oh come on, Dominic," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with those long fingers of his. "Stop being so dramatic. This is my _job_ , you knew from the start that this is what I would be doing. If you can't handle this - 'cause believe me this isn't the last time by any means that I'm going to do fieldwork - by all means, feel free to leave this relationship. Of course I'd rather you stayed and made peace with the fact. I'll also be perfectly safe; there are always guards about."

I just gaped back at him in shock, my hands curled into tight fists at my sides. It seemed like I was the one forever making sacrifices for him in this relationship. Sure he's risking a lot to be with me, but it's because of him that I have to hide our relationship. That I can't just hold his hand whenever I want to; express the way I feel in public. That I'm going to have to put up with all the stress of him putting his stupid arse in danger. And this of course doesn't begin on all the shit he put me through in the beginning.

Matthew Bellamy was definitely one of the most self-centred people I knew and it drove me mad, the way anything he wanted always came first and how he was practically never wrong. The worst of it though was that I wouldn't be in this relationship or be so worried about him endangering himself, if I didn't fucking love him just as much - if not more - than he loved himself.

"Well, aren't you going to say something then?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow at me as those deep-blue eyes of his tried to see what I was thinking.

"You're an absolute idiot," was all I said, shaking my head. "A complete and utter idiot." With this I sighed and went to sit down in one of the chairs.

Even from the corner of my eye, I didn't miss the way he rolled his eyes and came over to stare down at me, his height finally more than mine. "Why must you be so bloody difficult, Howard? It's not for that long and then I'll be back and fucking you raw once more."

At this, a sad smile managed to push through and I looked up to see him smirking. Yip, typical Matt, using some humour to make me smile, when it was the last thing I felt like doing.

"I can't help it. You know I worry, Matt. I...I love you and just the thought of anything happening to you..."

Sighing, he chose to let me get away with the 'L' word, as he slightly surprised me and moved the rest of the way, before seating himself on my lap.

"Well you should stop fretting, 'cause how would you cope if - _gasp_ \- you were to prematurely go grey?" Matt teased, carding his long fingers through my ( _completely_ ) blond hair.

"Har har har," I grumbled, not at all appreciating the jab. "I could always dye it then. Of course I wouldn't have to if you'd just stop risking your life."

"Not gonna happen, lover," he winked, before pecking me on the nose. "Also, just think about it, this way you get to see me in a kevlar vest again; I still recall you telling me how that turns you on."

"You're such a creep when you want to be, you know that?" I muttered and he just chuckled, before he fisted the hand that was in my hair, gaining a good hold, so that he could kiss me hard and deeply; his own way to show that the conversation was over.

What am I going to do with him? And was it just me, or had he called me 'lover' again?!

                                                                                                             ***

"Oh-oh, Jesus, yes, Dom. Oh God, right there, yes - _fuuuuck_."

"A bit lower? A tad harder?"

"God, yes, yeah, just, fuck."

The grin stretching over my lips was nearing painful, my latest discovery of a new sensitive spot of Matt's bringing me great delight. It was almost as brilliant as when I'd found he squeaked when I grabbed his balls...

_Whoa, wait, don't do it, Dom. Resist the temptation, a pissed off Bellamy is not worth it._

Shaking my head, I just went back to kneading the ball of his foot, his upper body quickly sinking lower into the warm bathwater, his head thrown back against the bath's edge, practically the only part of him that was not submerged.

"Oi, you were already taking up most of the space, and now there's barely any room for me, Matt," I grumbled, but my words didn't really have any menace behind them, Matt's bathtub larger than most of my bathroom. Besides, the pervert in me enjoyed the way his arse had bumped into my crotch, the leg I didn't have trapped between my own, curled around my back for some form of support.

"Quit with the bitching and get with more of the massag- _o-oh, guuuhhh_ ," he groaned, back to being putty in my hands, his noises definitely reminding me of certain past experiences with him, my dick responsively twitching at the memory.

"Did your cock just jump, Howard?!" he suddenly asked, an eyebrow raised suspiciously, a mocking smirk forming on his lips.

Despite the foam covered bathwater, I still looked down to see where part of his slim thigh rested against my crotch.

"Well, we are sitting naked in a bathtub together and with you making noises like that, how can you blame me?" I pouted, letting go of his foot. I had my back up against the bath, while he was stretched easily in the warm, bubbly water.

"Naww, Dommykins feeling a bit horny?" he joked, the toes of his freed foot now pressing into my chest, the sound of water falling into the tub as it slid off his leg, splashing into where my lap was. "Even after I just fucked you into the mattress mere minutes ago?" He let his foot then drag slowly down my damp skin, the water allowing it to slide easily, my nipples already hard as goosebumps now rose up to join them. "Oh, so big and hard, Dommykins," he groaned teasingly, as he let his foot massage over my already stiffening cock.

"Babe, stop being such a tease," I warned, mimicking his mocking tone, as my hands went down to trap his foot on my dick. "Plus you owe me."

"Who said I was being a tease? And what do you mean I _'owe'_ you?" he challenged, dark brows pulling together as he yanked his foot back and sat up a bit more, his arms wrapping around the edge of the tub.

Great, 'intimidating Matthew Bellamy' was back.

"You know exactly what I mean, Matt," I sighed, the mood instantly dying.

"What, because I'm going away - to do my _job_ \- I now owe you?" He ran his hand through his damp hair in annoyance. It really was starting to get on the long side; the hypocrite.

I didn't want to fight with him though, we had work tomorrow and if we fought and went to bed angry, neither of us would sleep well. I also didn't want to spoil what, up until now, had been a really lovely (romantic) evening. No, I didn't come home with him to fight.

So, sighing, I shook my head and shifted lower into the bath, joining him at chest depth. "Don't worry, let's just drop it. We were having a good time, let's not ruin things now with a pointless argument."

He looked like he wanted to say something back, but - perhaps for the first fucking time since I've known him - he let it drop and nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, allowing his legs to move on the outside of mine, always trying to show his dominance, whether he was even aware of it or not.

I couldn't help but smile vaguely, my misplaced affection coaxing it out of me.

"What are you grinning about?" he asked, his tone back to normal. "Hmm?"

"Nothing, just...you," I replied, before trying to copy his foot teasing from earlier on his chest.

"Is that so?" he grinned back, grabbing my foot and bringing it up to his mouth, before playfully nipping at my toes. "We argue and you grin...you are a strange one."

_The same could be said of you._

But I didn't say it though, because at that moment he then sucked onto my big toe, his thin lips wrapping around it as he sucked on it hard and suggestively.

"M-Matt, wh-what you - ugh, wow, okay, never mind," I groaned, giving into him. I had to enjoy him while I still had him, before he went off for a month after all.

_Shit. How will I last?_

Just then, however, he dropped my foot and motioned for me to shift my position. I ended up with my back leaning against his chest, our heads turned to the side so we could snog leisurely, his right hand firmly splayed across my stomach possessively and holding me close to him. The unmistakable pressure of his hardening cock nudging into my back...

                                                                                                           ***

"What do you mean you 'just forgot', Jess! I wanted to surprise him with it tonight!"

"I'm sorry, Dom, really, I didn't mean to forget the key," Jess apologised.

We were sitting at the anchor desk, whispering amongst ourselves while Fred gave the sport report.

"But I'm sure it'll be fine, it's not like you won't be able to fit in your usual epic 'Friday Fuck' anyway. You two are like an old couple; a planned sex day of the week and all!"

"Oi! We are not! We don't just fuck on Fridays! Sheesh, Jess! I mean...just the other night we were- Thank you, Fred, pity about that loss for Chelsea..."

It had been a close save, but I'd managed to recover quickly and Jess had even managed to hold back the giggles I knew she was dying to release, as the cameras cutting back to us nearly caught us out.

I'd wanted to give Matt the spare key to my apartment, especially seeing as it was Friday night and we didn't have work on Saturday, it really was our special night... 'Friday Fuck', I mean really, we're not that much like an old couple, are we?

It just made sense though; we didn't have to go to sleep early, or get a good rest... Okay, maybe that was just mainly me, as I was after all the one that had to be on camera. Plus I don't think Matt's had a bad day in the looks department ever, even when he had his little breakdown after our massive fight a month or so ago.

Anyway, we were going to mine tonight, so it did just make sense, now what am I going to do? Is it maybe a sign that I shouldn't give him a key? Was this even meant to happen, us getting more serious, wasn't it just yet another red flag...

 

                                                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Ugh, did she not look in the mirror before she left the house? She's completely spilling out of her dress; she may as well have gone naked!"

"You wanna maybe try sound anymore gay? Besides, I totally approve of that dress and you also sound like a complete hypocrite, Mr Howard."

As it was a typical Friday evening - a typical any day evening when we were together for that matter - as soon as we'd arrived at his, we'd gotten with the fucking, but then, too arsed to bother cooking, we'd just ordered pizzas. So now we were lazing on the couch watching shit reality TV, our pizza boxes pushed aside and not a stitch of clothing except our boxers to be found on either of us.

"Ugh, you can't be serious, Matt! What's so nice about it? It does absolutely nothing for her, aside from making her tits look shit; what with them hanging out like that," he objected, half-heartedly slapping one of my feet, which were draped over his thighs.

"Tis precisely why I like it, gives one a good view of what she's got," I persisted, making him sigh and look over at me in exasperation.

"God, sometimes I just forget, what with you sucking me off often and all, that you like pussy too."

"Ouch, tad bit uncharacteristicly vulgar - I mean, what would Jess say if she heard you say that? - am I sensing that you're jealous?" I teased straight back. "Think I'll leave you for a nice rack?"

"Please, you'd be lost without me, Bellamy, let's not kid ourselves here," Dom countered, grinning evilly and I could already see where he was going.

"Tickle my feet and I will fucking kick your balls right now," I warned.

"You wish, babe, when you're being tickled you have no control over your body," he disagreed, my threat clearly not having its desired effect, as he was smirking proudly at me.

"Precisely," I smirked straight back. "I can't be blamed for any serious injuries I cause."

After that we continued to watch and comment on the shit we were watching, Dom absentmindedly stroking and massaging my feet, something clearly on his mind, but for some reason he wasn't just saying it already.

"Well?"

"'Well' what?" he asked, turning his body a bit so that he could face me better.

"What is it that you're so desperate to say?" I asked, nudging him with my foot.

"Uh, well," he began, scratching the back of his neck and starting to look all awkward.

"Yeah?"

"I was gonna try give it to you this evening as a surprise, but Jess forgot she had to give it to me and so now I can't, but I still want to tell you 'cause, well, um, er-"

"Dom, just spit it out, what do you want to give me?" I asked, sitting up now in curiosity. What could he possibly want to give me?

Naturally a few choice dirty thoughts came to mind, but then the fact that Jessica had to give it to him? No...guess it couldn't be something like _that_ then...but maybe-

"Um, I-I, uh, wanted to give you my spare house keys," I tried to open my mouth and say something about the matter, but he held his hand up, "now don't go and say I'm being stupid and soppy or whatever, 'cause for me this is actually quite a big deal. I've never done it before. So don't just go and throw it in my face; just a yes or no answer will suffice. But come on, it makes perfect sense, we've been together for a little bit, but I trust you and we do spend like half our time here. So this way your movements wouldn't be controlled by mine."

When he finally finished, although he was trying hard to hide it, I could see just how nervous he was and clearly just how much my answer would mean to him.

"And if I say 'no thanks', you won't just kick me out of your flat, or deny me any more sex?" I asked cautiously, wanting to see his response.

"Um, no, no, of course not," he said, shaking his head, the two of us now sitting with our bodies turned a bit towards one another. "Please, that would be like a further blow to me," he tried to smile playfully at this, but I could still see the way he was sweating bullets. "I don't want to force you into anything you don't want."

I simply nodded in acknowledgement, as I went through everything in my mind and analysed the proposition and the numerous outcomes of both decisions. This clearly meant a lot to him, but it would definitely also mean a lot more than just a stupid key; it would be a further shift in our relationship, meaning even more commitment, despite that niggling issue in our relationship. It was pretty much the step before moving in...and Lord knows I'd never pick his apartment over mine!

I mean seriously, the bloke doesn't earn badly! We must have pretty similar salaries, when I work back home I do tend to earn a little more than usual...but fieldwork _is_ my passion and there's no beating doing something you love over more money. Though, I do guess my father did help pay for my place...and Dad's certainly got a bit in _his_ pocket... But come on, Dom could totally-

"Er, Matthew, you gonna tell me your answer? You're just sitting there staring blankly...kinda creeping me out really," Dom said suddenly, breaking the swirl of rather pointless thoughts, which were running through my head.

"Oh, yeah, um..." I began, looking back up at him, his big eyes focused solely on me, turned up on full; their grey depths sparkling with hope and anxiety.

"Hmm... Okay, sure, thank you 'yes'," I nodded, in the end knowing that it didn't have to be some major change if I didn't want it to be. It could also help be a way to placate him; apologise for upsetting him even more at the beginning of the week. Even though we'd both managed to brush it off, I could tell that my upcoming trip was just baring over us, the elephant in the room, the thing responsible for so obviously upsetting him.

"Seriously?" he asked, actually looking a bit shocked by my answer.

"Seriously."

"Oh my God, thank you so much, Matt. Like, really, you don't even know how much this means to me!" he grinned, his smile impossibly wide, with his big, white teeth shining away, as he leant in to kiss me.

"'s really no problem," I replied around his lips, his arms eagerly wrapping around me and yanking me closer, my lungs quite literally being crushed in the monster of a bear hug he was giving me.

"You are getting so much sex this weekend," he grinned, before going back to assaulting my mouth with deep kisses, his hands travelling back to slip under my boxers' waistband.

"Well, when you put it like _that_ , I can only be sure I made the right choice," I panted, finally regaining some air, as he abandoned my mouth to suck kisses down my neck, while he pushed me back to lie down.

"Mm-hmm, you definitely did," he agreed, now kissing his way down my torso, as he steadily pulled my boxers down.

By the time his mouth had reached the hair leading down from my navel, my boxers had already been tossed aside. I couldn't help the way my stomach muscles fluttered in response to his sucking and kissing, but I could see the smirk sneaking into the corner of his mouth. I was just about to berate him on this of course, when suddenly I had those plump, full lips around my cock and the incredible warm wetness of his mouth surrounding me. It was all I could do to stop from crying out, as he began to suck me off, that clever tongue of his at work, while his sneaky hands inched lower to teasingly brush against my balls.

But then I felt the knot - which had been niggling in my gut for some time now - tug, it's source unmistakable and meaning rather significant.

_Fuck. Since when did I even get guilty?! Usually I haven't a fuck to give._

I tried to ignore it, but, despite Dom's obvious skill and - by now well developed - knowledge of what I like best, I couldn't just enjoy what he was doing.

"S-stop, Dom, s'enough," I tried, my hands trying to tug at his thick locks of blond. "Stop."

He did, but only to raise his head to me with a look of pure confusion and shock.

"Sorry, but did you, _Matthew Bellamy_ ,  just ask me to stop sucking you off?!" he asked, sitting back up as I joined him.

"Er, yeah, um, I just..." I shrugged, not so sure how to phrase it.

_Well shit, what now?_

"I feel guilty, to be honest, like, you know, about my trip and - don't even try to pretend - I know you're still upset about it, but here you are; giving - well not physically for now - me your spare flat key and blowing me-"

"Wait, back up a minute here. _You_ feel guilty?!"

"Yes, Dominic, I do," I replied, narrowing my eyes. "What's so hard to believe? I'm really starting to worry about what sort of image you have of me in your head."

"Matt, let's not fool ourselves; from the start you've made no secret about where your interests lie. And I've accepted that, hence I'm still here with you now. So forgive me if I'm a little shocked right now," he said, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head, his face still reflecting his amazement.

I couldn't do anything but roll my eyes. Jesus, he's a complete moron some times.

"So, uh, what now though?" he asked, practically mirroring my thoughts from a few seconds ago.

"Well...maybe just let me give something back to you?" I suggested with a shrug, an idea already having formed in my mind.

"Ooh, suddenly I'm really beginning to like the sound of this..." he grinned, prompting another eye roll from me.

"Just take your fucking pants off," I sighed, holding the bridge of my nose and making as if I was starting to regret this, when actually a nervous flutter had begun to build in my gut.

"Yes, sir!" he mock saluted, grinning when he received my typical response, before swiftly scrambling out of his blue boxers in a less than refined manner.

_What were you thinking, Matthew..._

Once naked, he sat back up, looking at me expectantly. "So what, you gonna suck _me_ off then?" he grinned boyishly (yes, I kid you not), looking down at his already hard cock and then back at me.

Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I shook my head. "No, not exactly."

I then leaned over him, to reach for the lube we'd left on the side table earlier. I'd definitely be needing it.

_What are you about to do to yourself, Matthew?!_

Just then, though, I felt his fingers brush tenderly over my lower back, before he leaned forward and kissed my shoulder, just as I reached the necessary tube.

"Oh, I see," he grinned, clearly doing no such thing, when I straightened, lube in hand.

When he began to spread his legs and reach for the tube, I shook my head. He just looked back at me in confusion though.

"What?"

"Um..." Not quite sure of what to say, I instead swung a leg over his lap and kneeled above him, his eyes growing wider by the second, as I squirted some lube into my hand, before dumping the tube next to us and spreading the goop on my fingers, and reached behind myself.

"Whoa, Matt, are you sure?" he asked, his hands going up to grip my hips to help support me.

"Yeah," I nodded, but my stomach squirmed in a confused pattern of excitement and nerves, as I let my index finger push through, causing me to gasp.

"Really?" he asked again, but clearly realising that he actually sounded rather patronising, he felt the need to quickly add, "'Cause I don't wanna have to deal with you whinging and passing out with sleeping pills again."

"Har, har-" but I broke off as he pulled my finger out and replaced it with his own, slightly thicker, one. " _Fuuuck_ , watch it, Dom," I gasped, needing to now lean on him, hands clamped on his shoulders as he pushed a second finger through. "Oh, _God_ ," I groaned, as his digits worked me open, stretching me in that bizarre mix of pleasure and pain.

"That's it, just relax, babe," he tried, in his own way I guess, to encourage me, the hand still on a hip's thumb rubbing reassuring circles into my hipbone.  "Shit, I can't believe you're actually letting me-"

"S-shut up, How-Howard, don't make me regret th-this," I warned, but he just grinned up at me, before reaching forward to place a chaste kiss to the centre of my chest. "God, you're sopp-" but I broke off in a whimper, as he curled his previously scissoring fingers.

"Shit, sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked, instantly pausing, eyes wide and searching as he looked up at me.

"N-no, j-just, _move_ , don't stop - _fuuuuck_ , yeah, bet-better," I gasped as he resumed his previous task; his movements even more intense when he added a third and final finger, forcing me to spread my legs more as I tried not to completely collapse on him.

"You think you're ready? I don't want to risk hurting you again, so you must tell me when I've done enough prep," he asked, his concern admittedly touching, the little kisses he kept dropping on my heating skin not hampering that feeling from forming either.

Looking down the length of my body, I couldn't help feeling smug as I took in the way my heavy cock was leaking against his bronzed torso; an outward sign of the obvious. He followed my gaze, before grinning and releasing my hip to instead grasp my pulsing length, prompting me to groan deeply, my hips wanting to thrust forward.

"You are absolutely perfect, Matt, and your cock; it fucking blows my mind everytime. So big, but not too ridiculously so, and heavy and just the right thickness and the way you can always just keep going. You make my mouth water, just looking at you, all flushed and-"

As much as I tried, I couldn't keep in the whine that escaped me, as he continued to stroke me along with my ego, his other hand still stretching me completely, making me shudder and tremble everytime he brushed against my prostate.

"Oh, God, yes, and the noises! The sounds you make, you drive me insane. You're so goddman sexy."

"S-stop, stop, r-ready," it was all I could do not to just come spurting over his fist right then.

"You sure?"

"Let's just fuck already, Howard," I grunted between clenched teeth, so he pulled his fingers out with a squelch, and let go of me, both hands settling on my hips again. Expectant.

Taking a deep breath, my stomach still aflutter with butterflies and squirming, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip, I gripped tighter onto Dom's shoulder with one hand and reached down for his previously neglected cock. I then steadied myself and lined him up, before slowly, carefully, lowering myself down onto him. I felt his grip on me tighten, as I felt him pushing up into me, stretching me even further, stealing my breath as it caught in my throat; threatening to come out in a scream.

"Y-you, good?" he gasped, and when I looked down at him I took in the way sweat had beaded along his temples, his own mouth forming an 'O', as his blond hair shined in the light, its appearance almost like that of a halo.

I just grinned down at him - reassuring us both - and nodded, pushing down a bit more before beginning to move my hips, wanting to get back to a higher pleasure ratio than the current pain one.

"Jesus, Matt, you're so _tight_ , you feel fucking perfect," Dom groaned, helping spur me on, his hands rising to tweak a nipple of mine and to bring my head down to his so that we could kiss. I tried to concentrate on the kiss, but all I could really focus on was the heat of him, filling me so completely and the way the muscles within me fluttered in response, as I steadily grinded myself down onto him, all the while doing my best not to cry out loudly the way my body was dying to.

He of course then had to start picking up the pace himself, shifting and thrusting to the left. I had to moan into his mouth as the awkward angle made me move in a particular way, which made his cock ram straight into my prostate. I could feel his lips grinning on mine, the hand squeezing  and teasing my nipple, lowering to give a certain other sensitive part of me more attention.

"Perfect, that's how you feel; how you make me feel," he groaned, as I began to pick up the pace more and bounce better on his cock. The thick, hard length proving its worth by rubbing and reaching deeply, pulling a few yelled curses from me.

I felt bad that I wasn't responding with compliments back, but in all honesty it was amazing I could still even breathe, talking was definitely out of the question, as my body was continually struck with the mind numbing sensory overload. This felt better than the last time he'd fucked me, _sooo_ much better; to the point where I was starting to question why I hadn't done this sooner.

Trying to gain some of my bearings, I shook my head, my hair sticking to my forehead and the back of my neck, and leaned in to kiss Dom some more, sucking his warm tongue into my mouth. He hummed and moaned appreciatively, his grip on my dick tightening as he corkscrewed his fist upwards, while I impaled myself further downwards; my body torn between which way to go. The only pain I could feel now, was the ache in my thighs as the muscles coiled and worked as I used them to help my movements in riding Dom, and the feeling of an almost overwhelming sense of pleasure.

"God, you look like sin," he smiled (proudly?), as I pulled out of the kiss to cry out loudly when the tip of his cock hit me dead-on my prostate and his thumb pressed into my slit at the exact same moment. He reached out with his free hand to brush my damp fringe, which had fallen in my face again, out of my eyes, only to then trace my lips with this thumb, as my mouth hung open wantonly.

"Y-you're not s'bad yourself," I panted, leaning down to suck onto the smooth, silky skin of his shoulder, the salty tang of his sweat tingling the act. It tasted so right and the scent rising off of him was just so...so _him_ and it sent my head buzzing even more.

"Love you so much," he groaned as I suddenly increased the speed, my legs starting to tremble and begging for mercy. I just kissed him again, our tongues tenderly knotting and sliding, while our hips snapped, his rising to meet my downward motions. The only noises left were that of the slap of our bodies joining and the wet sounds of our kissing and panting in between lip locks.

"C-close," we both gasped, only for him to smile goofily back at me and by the ache in my cheeks, I could tell I was reciprocating it, despite my better judgement; my brain clearly having been turned to mush, as my body was beginning to tense up and tremble with strain. My head felt too heavy to hold up and I just allowed it to collapse, with my forehead on his shoulder, but he was having none of it.

"Ah-uh, come on, babe, wanna see you when you come," he insisted, both his hands abandoning their places on my body, to instead cup my face and help hold my head up, while his own leaned back into the backrest of the couch.

"You're such a creep," I muttered, but did nothing to resist as I could feel the way I was just about to teeter over the edge. His grey eyes, their pupils fully blown, were fixed on me, their depths liquid and warm; holding me rooted, our eyes locked, while our bodies easily brought us to climax.

It was when he pulled my face down, sealing our lips, as he bucked up suddenly, hitting me impossibly deeply and - holy shit, but I was suddenly coming, flying over the edge, my cum steadily spurting between our grinding bodies, sticking to our skin and making me groan deeply into his welcoming mouth, as my eyes had to close to compensate for the overwhelming assault of my senses. He released my face then, to instead grab my hips once more and use his hold to drive himself into me deeper, making me cry out loud enough for the neighbours to hear and helping bring him to climax too.

The foreign feeling of his hot cum shooting into me, startled me at first, the feeling strange and definitely new, but stranger still was the further satisfaction it brought. It felt amazing to know it was because of me and when I collapsed properly, face nestled in the crook of his neck as I panted away in an attempt to regain my breath, his arms instantly curled around me and held me closely to him.

It was strange, but as we stayed like that, waves of aftershock rolling between us and small whimpers falling from my mouth every time, while his lips lazily placed kisses to the side of my neck; it was impossible not to realise how completely different this had been from anything we'd done in the past. I'd never felt so vulnerable, yet protected and so completely safe at the same time in my life before.

The sentiment scared me and I found myself lost for words along with breath, as I tightened my own hold around his shoulders, face burying deeper into his heated, damp skin, its scent eerily reassuring.

He must have sensed it too, as for once he kept his mouth shut and just held me, continuing to gift my own sweat-dampened skin with kisses, while a hand stroked my back.

 

                                                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

I was still completely shocked by it all, by the strange shift which seemed to have taken place between us, even when Matthew tried to brush it off and play it down.

But he couldn't deny it, his reaction after having come, completely different to that of his usual, cocky, self-assured manner, had not gone unnoticed. Though, perhaps he was still just as shocked as I was, after all, it was the first time he'd willingly offered himself up like that; something that was already not at all like him.

He'd laid himself out bare and vulnerable, something Matthew Bellamy _never_ did; for he always had to be the one in control, or with the upper hand. But tonight he'd completely given himself over and revealed yet another new side to himself, a side that I was still only slowly starting to uncover.

We hadn't moved for some time, our strange moment only coming to an end when he suddenly snapped back to his classic sarcastic self, complaining bitterly that all the cum was making him itch and that he needed to shower.

 

"Ugh, this is disgusting!" he'd cried, when he'd finally gotten off me and stood up, only for my cum to start leaking from him.

"Exactly, not so funny when it's happening to you, now is it?"

"Shut the fuck up, Howard, you definitely owe me for this!" he'd declared only to stumble off to the bathroom on bandy legs, invoking a definite sense of affection, as I'd run to go join him in the shower - scooping him up in my arms on the way, much to his protest - where I'd more than made it up to the bossy little so-and-so.

 

It was things like that, that let me know I'd made the right choice in risking it and giving him a second chance; in giving up the freedom of a normal relationship and putting up with all the issues that dating him came with. Despite his best attempts at hiding it and proving himself as a hard-hearted bastard, Matt actually did care and was a sweetheart underneath it all, he just needed to learn that it didn't make him weak to own up to it and reveal that side a bit more often.

With that playing through my mind, I couldn't help further smiling as I looked down at the man in question, his current position just reflecting the fact. He was holding on tightly and possessively to me, an arm and leg thrown over me, with his head on my chest and even in the darkness I could see the way he was slightly drooling, his dark eyelashes resting closed against his sharp cheekbones which cast long shadows.

Instead of finding the fact that he was drooling on me gross, I found it more endearing, as it proved him further to be just a normal person and not the always perfectly in control and superior one he'd like us all to believe he is. Besides, it was damn cute to be honest and I couldn't resist straining my neck a bit, so that I could reach over to place a kiss to his head of dark hair, which had dried all fluffily after our shower romp. In response, he hummed, snuffling against my chest before falling back into his peaceful sleep once more. Satisfied, I yawned and finally closed my own eyes.

_Fuck, you are so whipped, Dom._   



	28. Chapter 28

 

  
I woke late and couldn't quite tell what the time was, but was also too buggered to actually find a clock or watch and find out. With sleep-heavy eyelids, I managed a glance at the window, bright light flooding through Dominic's curtains.

The act of lifting my head off the heated flesh of his chest, caused him to stir and tighten his hold around my waist.

I looked down at his face, shrouded in peaceful sleep, golden eyelashes feathered out, full lips slightly parted as a gentle snore escaped steadily from him. Yeah, Dom was a bit of a snorer... Talk about bad sleeping habits, but at least it wasn't offensively loud. This time.

I gave him a peck on his lips and wriggled free of his embrace, half asleep, but in dire need of piss and something to drink. My drowsy mind protested greatly, wanting to sleep more, to remain curled up snugly in Dom's arms, but my body had other ideas. So I stumbled out of bed, briefly looking back at Dom, who reached out for me and ended up snuggling onto a pillow I shoved at him instead. I decided not to bother with putting any clothing on; I was just going to take a slash and then grab a drink and crawl straight back into bed and sleep for another few blissful hours.

As I stumbled, half conscious of the fact I probably resembled a zombie with a limp, I was greeted with a sharp pain originating from the most charming of places.

_Here we go again._

Grumbling and clutching my arse, I staggered my way after having relieved myself, over to his kitchen, so focused on the annoying pain, while also attempting to remain somewhat conscious enough to function, that I failed to hear the front door open until it was too late.

It was as I was leaning into the fridge - more curses falling from my lips due to the fresh shooting stabs located in my arse - to grab a carton of orange juice or something to quench my thirst, that I suddenly heard a gasp from somewhere behind me.

"Matthew?"

My heart instantly froze, my blood running cold, as I practically had the fright of my life and spun around to see that Jessica Brown, Thomas Kirk and another, blonde, woman had come into Dom's apartment.

"JESSICA?! KIRK?!!" I yelped, before suddenly remembering my completely naked state and shoved the juice carton in front of my exposed crotch. Jessica may have been speaking to me, but I couldn't help but notice how both women's eyes were trained on my junk. I was definitely ruing my decision to not bother putting anything on.

_Holy. Shit. What. The. Fuck. Now._

I was trying to calm down my erratic heartbeat. There was absolutely no way I'd be able to explain myself out of this. Fuck this open-plan layout, shit.

_Shitshitshitshitshit!! Jessica and Kirk now know about me, about Dom, about me and Dom and - fucking cunting hell!! This cannot be happening! And - oh God - they've seen my dick! Them and... whoever the other woman is, yeah, nice to meet you too. FUCK._

"Oh my, um, you're _Matthew_?" the blonde woman asked, while I just continued to stare back at the three in horrified shock; finally awake. Kirk was clearly attempting not to piss himself with laughter, while both women had flushed bright pink.

"Uh... yeah, um, I am." Well it wasn't like I could lie now, could I?

"Yip, that's Matthew, in all his naked glory," Tom laughed, the annoying grin on his face just begging to be smacked right off, the smug little, goddamn, st--

"Oh, well, I'm Beth, my parents have told me so much about you," she smiled, clearly attempting to play down the situation, but the way in which her eyes kept nervously flitting between my eyes and where my hands were currently holding the carton, gave her away.

"Ah-huh?" I said, confused as to why the fuck her parents would have spoken about me, but then suddenly a different sort of penny dropped. "Wait. Why aren't you surprised to see me here? Any of you?!"

"Um, make no mistake, we did get _a_ surprise; we didn't expect to see you here, let alone without clothing, but you mean about the fact that you and Dom are so obviously shagging, right?" Jessica asked, doing her best to keep her eyes on mine.

I just nodded though, still unable to believe that, what was happening, was.

"Well we've known for a while, it's obvious," Tom finished for her with a shrug, finally having calmed a bit from his giggle fit.

"Y-you have?!" I asked, completely and utterly stunned.

_Dominic._

He was a dead man.

"Dude, you two are so googly-puppy-dog-eyed sick with love, it's disgusting," Kirk roared and the women giggled along, I on the other hand was quickly starting to lose my temper.

"It's actually very cute," Jessica reiterated, clearly knowing precisely what to say to make my eyes narrow even more.

Ignoring the gruesome twosome, I turned my glare to the mystery woman. "And, anyway, who the fuck are you?"

"Beth, Dominic's sister," she replied, managing to look rather affronted, despite her flustered state.

"Uh..." I began, trying to think of a way to make up for my rude demand - apparently Dom's parents couldn't keep their traps shut either.

"Babe, why'd you leave? Is your gorgeous, little bum feeling alright after last night? I can always kiss it b--"

Before I could say something though, Dom chose that moment to stumble into the room, his blond hair fluffing every which way; characteristic of the whole 'just-fucked' look, and mouth running until he picked up on  the fact that he had visitors. And, unlike me, he'd actually pulled on a pair of boxers; though they did happen to be inside out, not to mention the fact that they were also mine.

"Oh, Jess? Tom? Whoa, hey, Beth, nice to see you?"

The three of them just burst out into uncontained hysterics.

_Fuck my life._

                                                                                                     ***

I was still absolutely fuming as I sat glaring away on the sofa, my arms crossed tightly. The whole scene was so startlingly different, that it was hard to think that only last night, this particular sofa had been used for a far more enjoyable interaction between us, than us shouting and arguing; our unplanned for guests having finally left and the both of us actually now dressed.

"Look, Matthew, I said I was sorry, and I really am, but Tom and Jess are reliable friends and they haven't told anyone. Chris doesn't even know." It felt like we were running around in circles as Dominic restated his argument yet again.

"I trusted you, Dominic. You agreed not to tell anyone, yet you were lying to me this entire time! How am I supposed to know there's not something else you're keeping from me?! How am I supposed to trust you if you can't even keep a secret?!" I demanded, hopping up again from the couch and resuming my earlier pacing, as I intermittently took turns holding the bridge of my nose or running my hands through my hair.

"Matthew, calm down! You're overreacting! Noth--"

"'Overreacting'? Overreacting?! Jesus Christ, Dominic! The whole fucking world practically traipsed inside and got a good view of my fucking dick and arse, excuse me if I'm a bit worked up!"

Dominic just sighed though and shook his head. "You're being over dramatic. It was only Tom, Jess and my sister, all of whom I'm sure have seen an arse and dick before, after all the women have men and Tom has his own," he tried pointing out, but he was just being absolutely ridiculous and missing out on the point, so I just shot him my best death glare; I was not at all impressed. "Matt, come on, I mean, it's not like you're ashamed to pad around the house naked usually; you also have nothing to be shy about downstairs - something which has never been an issue to show off before," he insisted on continuing, making an obvious attempt at trying to lighten the mood too.

Instead though, I could still only sigh - the loudest yet - and plonked back onto the sofa, throwing one leg over the other and rubbed my temples.

"Well yes, but that's because only you were around and just because I'm not ashamed of my body, doesn't mean every fucking person in England should get a good ogle."

"Aww, does that mean I'm special then, because I get the 'honour' to ogle all I want?" he grinned, instantly prompting the obligatory eye roll from me, but I could already feel a smile threatening to form.

"You're such a pillock."

After that, I saw his mouth twitch, as though he wished to say something in his defense, but wisely chose not to. Instead he then got up off the recliner and came to stand in front of me.

"Babe, I'm sorry, okay?" he pouted, those full, pink lips of his sticking out, big, grey eyes turned on to full force. "I'm sorry that I told Jess about us and that Tom also found out, but I promise you no one else knows and they'd never tell a soul. Plus she brought the keys! Please let's not fight? I don't like arguing with you."

I just stared back at him, biting the inside of my cheek as I thought about it. I was still absolutely furious that he'd gone and told them, when I'd specifically said he was to tell no one; how do I really know he hasn't told anyone else? And what does this say about how reliable and trustworthy he is?

"Matt, come on, babe," he whined, and when I still didn't respond, I suddenly found myself with a lap full of skinny, tanned blond. "Stop being upset with me, please?" he asked again, his hands cupping either side of my face.

"Dom--"

Before I could continue, or try get back to the issue at hand, he just leaned forward and captured my lips and I suddenly found I was struggling to remember why I was even upset, especially when his teeth pulled on my bottom lip and he shifted his hips in just the right way...

I hadn't even realised I'd made a noise, when suddenly he pulled out of the kiss and looked down at me from his perch on my lap. His pupils were large and starting to swallow his irises and his cheeks were flushed pink.

"Fuck, Matt, where did that moan come from? Shit that was hot, moan some more for me like that, babe," he said, before quickly returning to dominating my mouth.

The reversal of our roles would usually have annoyed me and I would have instantly insisted on taking back control, but as he continued to grind down on my dick and suck my tongue wetly into his mouth, his hands already starting on rolling up my t-shirt, I found I couldn't care less.

Now I could hear the way in which deep moans subconsciously escaped from me, but I still couldn't be bothered to care, what did it matter, we were home alone and so what if he'd told Jess?

Wouldn't it have been more awkward for her and Tom to stumble in on me and not only get the shock that I was buck naked, but that I was also evidently fucking their friend, another man?

"Shit, Matt, how are you already so hard? Fuck, I love you."

At this point I didn't even blink at his now - near constant - mention of the L-word, especially in that moment as he undid my trousers and took me in hand.

 

                                                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"I can't believe you're trying to make me do this, even after I eventually let you drag me here first," Matt bitched around his cigarette, it dangling between his lips, as he lit the thing with the zippo lighter I'd bought him after getting him to admit he was now indeed a smoker. Now to get him to start buying his own smokes... "I'm not even nearly drunk enough yet."

It was Saturday night, and after a lot of bribery and convincing, I'd eventually managed to drag his arse with me to go out with Beth and her husband, Sean; the two were leaving London again tomorrow. Of course Tom and Jess had tagged along too; Jess taking us all to a random little bar on the city outskirts, somewhere Matt and I wouldn't be too likely to be recognised.

'See, then you two can actually also go on a proper date too!', she'd informed me proudly with her little find, and I hadn't had the heart to point out that a date out with your older sister and best friend and their partners, did not a dream first date make.

"Oh come on, Matt. Stop being so uptight for once and just let loose, have a little fun," I coaxed him, leaning forward, my own cigarette poised between my lips, as I tried to light it on his flame, while he was still lighting his own.

Unlike him, I was already admittedly starting to feel the effects of one shot of sake too many - much like our companions who were drunkenly having a go at the karaoke inside - and was trying to convince him to join in.

For once the man seemed to be doing fairly alright, only a bit tipsy; damned sake-guzzling fiend that he is.

"Think you're pushing it a bit there, Howard," he replied, exhaling his first puff. "I've already spent the entire evening putting up with your daft friends, who only seem to get all the more ridiculous the more liquor they consume - not to mention your twat of a brother in-law who won't stop questioning me about my sexual preferences - apparently I'm some kind of an anomaly to the dolt. As for your sister--"

"Okay, okay, sheesh, no need to be an arsehole now, Matthew," I snapped, stopping him from saying anything about Beth. He didn't need to.

Apparently after getting an eyeful of my boyfriend, she was rather taken with him and as she'd become more intoxicated, had spent a good portion of the evening giggling and blushing around him like a schoolgirl; as a result one couldn't really blame Sean for the constant interrogations.

Jess and Tom on the other hand? Constant jokes about this morning's little incident, something which I'd hoped they'd kindly let go of, but now kept wiggling their eyebrows, winking and mouthing out obscenities at me whenever they thought Matt wasn't looking. And again, the more they drank, the worse they got and the less they got away with Matt catching them out.

Matt just rolled his eyes in his typical fashion, as he took a deep drag, nearly in sync with my own.

"Fine then, clearly I'm gonna have to get you more drunk, I think the last - and only - time I've really ever seen you proper drunk was at Jess' party and just remember how well that turned out," I grinned, plumes of smoke escaping in tendrils through my teeth.

This time I at least provoked a groan.

"Oi, I don't know who you're trying to kid, we both know you're happier off for it now!" I pointed out, cheekily slapping his arse as he'd had to turn to tap some ash off into the ash bowl.

I had to giggle as his eyes grew wide and he checked to make sure we were all alone outside in front of the pub. Always so paranoid.

"Relax, babe, we're fine here! That's it, you definitely need to booze up some more!" I declared, taking a final drag, before I stubbed out my cigarette.

"Fine, I'll need it to survive those animals anyway," he muttered, exhaling through his nose, as he dropped his own cigarette and ground it out with the sole of his shoe.

                                                                                                          ***

Turns out Matt wasn't playing around, within the next half hour, it was safe to say he was pretty fucking wasted.

"Oh my God, Dommy, he's hilarious!" Jess laughed, her tipsiness still very much evident. "I'm actually starting to get what you see in him, you know aside from the physical - of which I now have a bloody brilliant idea of. When he relaxes and actually tries to, Matt's a hoot!"

I had to agree with her, laughing as I watched a very drunk Matt and Tom trying to pick something to sing together, Matthew finally having surrendered to doing a duet and with Tom, of all people!

From our angle, all Jess and I could really see, were their two bums swaying in the air, the current singers finishing up their song, as the guys leaned over the songs list, before they jumped up in victory - clearly having finally found a song they both agreed on - and messing up a high-five in their clumsy state.

"What you two gonna sing?!" Jess yelled over to our... men (sheesh that felt weird to think), but Matt just tapped his nose secretively, Tom guffawing loud enough to be heard over the applause, while the other duet bowed and handed over the mics.

As they took their places and the opening bars began, I could have laughed.

"Seriously? This is the song they finally agreed on?" Beth giggled, returning from the bar with more shots, Jess politely declining when she was offered.

"Very Tom, he loves Billy Idol," I said shaking my head, Jess nodding with an amused grin, before I downed a shot and turned to see that Matt was tapping the mic to the music against a skinny-jean-clad thigh, looking like what his inebriated mind deemed professional, as he prepared to sing.

"Just... White Wedding? Interesting choice on Mr Bellamy's part," Beth chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows at me, Jess snorting at the implication.

"Oi, I wouldn't laugh so much, Mrs Thomas Kirk," I countered, pulling my tongue at them childishly, the three of us bursting into an explosion of tipsy giggles, when suddenly the singing started, Matt surprisingly having opted for the intro and instantly halting our laughter.

To say my jaw hit the table top would have been an understatement, as I watched on in complete shock as Matthew sang, Tom even freezing halfway through his dancing next to him.

"Holy shit, Dom, but Matthew can actually sing!" Jess gaped, pointing out the obvious.

"And fucking well! Whoa, he's a keeper, Dom!" Beth added, her eyes glazing a bit, just as Sean came back from the lavs to join us.

"Huh, not bad, your little man, is he, Dommers?" he nodded in Matt's direction, thudding me on the back with one of his large hands, though he needn't really, my eyes were absolutely glued to the man in question, as he sang - attempting to get the suddenly reluctant and finally upstaged Tom to join him now.

"How come you never told me?" Jess asked, helping herself to a shot - in the end anyway - of the tequila; Beth's drink of choice.

"I didn't know he could..."

They were right though, aside from the drunken way in which he attempted to move his body along to the beat awkwardly (which was actually kind of cute in its own way), bumping into Tom as my mate gave in and eventually joined in, his own voice rather more typical of the off-key thing one can expect to find at karaoke. Matt's voice proved to be impossibly smooth and seductive as he sang along to the music, though, and was easy to pick up over Tom's.

I was utterly stunned, Matt had never mentioned anything about being able to sing, and as I gave the pub a quick once over, it was obvious that it wasn't just us lot that had noticed.

Tom began to do more air drumming and less singing as the song went on, thankfully letting me listen to Matt's sinfully sexy voice more.

_Well I'll be fucked, and as if he couldn't get any sexier._

As if the little minx could hear my thoughts, he turned to look at me and winked, grinning proudly with his skew tooth for all to see.

It admittedly wasn't an exceptionally challenging song to sing, but as the song picked up, Matt nailed the harder, longer notes and even growled out the right lyrics, curling his top lip much like Idol himself.

The awkward dancing ensued though, as more and more people began to turn away from their drinks and conversations to watch my boyfriend singing - or the lads' idiotic dancing - his confidence clearly rising, as he began jumping around, Tom eagerly following his lead. It was all a load of fun, before the two completely shattered the illusion further and tripped over one another and landed in a pile of drunken laughter, clumsy limbs proving useless in getting them up.

"Best go and rescue the morons," I sighed, but couldn't help the affectionate smile that I could feel spread across my face at seeing Matt finally having let loose.

Jess laughingly agreed and we walked over to drag them off stage, the pair reluctant to leave.

                                                                                                      ***

"Oh my God, don't stop, don't stop, fuck, oh God yes, _fuuuuck_."

I felt Matt's fingers tighten their grip in my hair, twisting and holding me in place as his hips could no longer remain still while I sucked him off.

After the little surprising display of his seriously sexy singing abilities, I hadn't been able to keep my hands off of him. Luckily he'd been drunk enough to follow me into the toilets when I'd grabbed his hand and dragged him over. Though, this being Matt, he'd probably still have come; the promise of a blow job too much to ignore.

"Mmm'old still," I struggled around him, my hands clutching at his firm, little arse, having slipped under both his trousers and boxers, now both supporting him, his back against the cubicle's wall.

"S-sorry-- oh sweet crucified Christ on the goddamn cross!" he groaned, his head thrown back into the wall as I dragged my teeth up along his rigid length, ending off with a deep swipe of my tongue through his slit. The familiar taste of his pre-come filling my mouth, as I felt the way his cock quite literally pulsed between my swollen lips, made me unconsciously groan too.

Growing more impatient and desperate, I let go of his arse briefly to assist him in shoving his pants down his thighs, giving myself better purchase.

"C-close, close, so closecloseclose..." His head banging into the stall wall some more, his voice just faded in a mantra, giving way to a deep groan as I began to now pump him too with one hand, the other still clutching his arse and pushing him forward, more into my mouth and consequently throat.

It all went pretty quickly from there, as I began to deep throat him, and before long he was spurting hot and fast down my throat, his voice breaking into a high moan as I milked every last drop from him. His fingers' tight grip in my hair finally then loosened as his whole body became limp and I let his softening cock fall from my lips, him letting out a little whimper as his sensitive skin was exposed to the comparatively cold air.

"T-that good?" I asked, opening and closing my stiffening jaw as I rubbed at it too.

"F-fucking... fucking fabulous," he hummed, head still pushed against the wall and eyes closed, his pants still down around his slim thighs.

"C'mon, you, let's go home," I said, amazed that I could still smile - what with the ache in my jaw - as I bent down to help pull his pants up and do them back up too, him apparently now incapable.

"Ah-huh, sounds good," he drawled, pulling me back up to my feet and into a deep kiss, our teeth only knocking a bit in the process, our inebriated states properly showing - though I lay most of the blame on him.

Our snogging came to an abrupt end though when someone began knocking loudly on the stall's door.

"Are you two done yet?! I need to take Jess home, she's had far too much, and I can't wait for you two to titillate one another's worlds any longer!" came Tom's voice suddenly through the door then, his fists still continuing to pound on it.

"Shit," I muttered, Matt's right hand already having dived down the front of my trousers during our lip locking.

"DOMINIC!!"

"Okay, okay, coming!" I called, trying to pull together the will power to remove Matt's hand, its movements a bit drunken and clumsy, yet still purposeful.

"Tom! Is Dommy in there?!" I heard Jess drunken drawl suddenly. She'd clearly finished off the rest of the tequila. "OhmyGod!! Don't tell me!! Matt's in there too, right?!"

Unsurprisingly Matt's hand suddenly stopped, withdrawing as he cursed menacingly under his breath, Jess' squeals having even reached through his drunken fog.

"Next time then, I guess?" I suggested, voice whispered.

His blue eyes, pupils having expanded again, looked back at me, his expression unreadable.

"If you get so lucky," he then said with a wink, before turning and unlocking the door.


	29. Chapter 29

  
Nothing can compare to waking up slowly to the sensation of Matthew's small, but pillowy soft lips gracing the skin of my back in a path of gentle kisses.

The action was so unexpected and unlike him that I lay still, feigning sleep out of fear that he may stop, just as I felt the smooth skin of his bare chest and hardened nipples brush against my back as he moved to kiss along my neck now.

The scent of his skin filled my nostrils; a mix of shower gel, his aftershave and just that unique 'Matthew Bellamy' aroma.

When the unmistakeable feeling of what could only be his very much excited cock pressing into my lower back, joined the myriad of sensations, it took most of my self-control to stop from gasping. Things were certainly starting to make more sense though.

Morning sex. A fast becoming popular pastime of ours, especially when we worked evenings during the prime time slot - which thankfully was most days - as it gave us the mornings off. Suck that Jess; see we don't just stick to Fridays!

I could feel his mouth move up to my ear, lips brushing the shell lightly, causing my skin to prickle in goosebumps. "I know you're awake, you pillock," he chuckled then suddenly, nipping my earlobe playfully. His breath was fresh and minty and tickled over my already sensitive skin.

Drat, I'd been found out.

I blinked, opening my eyes, as I rolled onto my back to find a grinning Matt, one dark brow raised mockingly, blue eyes glittering while he smiled down at me, strands of his overgrown brown hair hanging in his face as he leaned over me.

"You're up early," was what I chose to go with in place of a morning greeting, as I took in the fact that he was clad in only a white towel, which was slung low on his slim hips.

By that and the... _clean_ , fresh smell of him, it was obvious that he'd just come out of the shower. Not to mention the fact that his hair was damp and fluffing, having no doubt been hurriedly towel dried before he'd deemed it necessary to awaken me. Not that I was really complaining, mind.

"Yeah, couldn't really sleep. Today's the day after all," he grinned, his entire face lighting up with excitement.

Oh, yes.

Yes, it was not like I could forget what today meant. Matt was heading off to Somalia to tackle terrorists and pirates. And just as we'd finally settled down into a comfortable and secure time in our relationship (granted I still have yet to hear him say the L-word, but there are more important things, as I know it already to be the case: it's obvious in the ways he's changed around me). But still, I just want some more time to enjoy this. Him. _Us_.

  
Seeing my slight frown, his bright grin dulled a bit.

"Hey, Dom, don't get all mopey on me now. I'll be back in no time! Besides, we still have today," he tried to reassure me, swinging a leg over the lump in the duvet which was my body, to straddle me. "Lots of time for just you and me and..." He trailed off, his mouth getting distracted by its continued task of kissing hotly along my collarbone, leading to his wet, warm tongue swiping in the dip at the base of my throat.

And suddenly it was as if all my worries and fears had evaporated; at least for the time being.

"You're a creep, you know," I grumbled, but couldn't help bringing my hips up to meet the slow, downward roll of his own, the feel just too good to resist of my own answering hardness rubbing against him through the duvet and his towel.

"Only for you," he leered with a wink, making me sputter into giggles and effectively ruin the whole dry humping thing we'd had starting. "Anyway," he began, not missing a beat. " There are far too many layers separating my cock from yours."

"Ooh, someone's a bit randy this morning," I commented, still giggling, my mood having shifted completely from the previous dreading, as he got up and physically yanked me out of bed and straight into his arms.

"That, my dear Dominic, is putting it mildly," he replied, delivering a swift spank to my bare arse, before he promptly dropped his towel and pushed me back against the bed where we fell in a sprawled heap of naked limbs, his mouth instantly seeking out my own.

The cool, minty taste of his toothpaste invaded my mouth along with the strong, persistent muscle of his tongue, which instantly began seeking out all the corners of my mouth.

As the kissing deepened, I dragged my fingers down the smooth slope of his silky back feeling the way his shoulder blades moved under his alabaster skin, as he moved to knot his left hand in my hair and the right began to traverse my chest, seeking out my raised nipples.

Just as my hands made it to cup the deliciously firm curve of his arse, Matt gave the nub of my sensitive left nipple a firm squeeze, making me buck up sharply into him and my hold on him tighten.

"Hmm, you like that, Howard?" he coaxed, voice gruff and lips shiny and wet from kissing, as his arse pushed back against my hands.

"What do you think, _Bellamy?_ " I shot right back, pulling his pelvis down so that our groins rubbed.

He simply smirked in reply, before ducking his head to replace his grip on my nipple with that of his teeth. He ground them teasingly, careful not to hurt, but enough to make me cry out. Satisfied with my response, he then simply moved to latch onto the bud with his lips and then mouth, sucking tightly and making me writhe and cry out even more.   


 

  
"Oh, fuck, babe... yeah, oh God... that's it..." Words just tumbled from my slackened jaw, as my fingers sank deeper into the flesh of his arse, squeezing tighter and in turn making him suck even harder.

When he eventually broke off for air, a thin trail of saliva stringed off from my now darkened flesh to his plumped, shiny bottom lip.

"Well that's definitely gonna leave a mark," he said proudly, wiping the trail off with the back of his wrist.

"I hope so," I replied, rolling my hips upward into his as I pushed his groin tighter against mine, rubbing our hot cocks ever so deliciously together. "It'll give me something to remember you by."

"Oh, I'm gonna give you a whole lot to remember me by; I haven't even started yet!" he declared, before leaning down to lick a wet stripe from the centre of my chest and up along my collarbone and neck, to my ear. "So, best you get on your hands and knees already, lover," he coaxed in a deep whisper, nipping enticingly at my earlobe.

He certainly didn't have to say it again, within mere seconds, I was ready and waiting in the requested position, my arse at attention in the air.

"Such a good boy," he purred, placing the palms of his hands on my arse, before running them up along my back, his body following behind by flattening down against me in their wake. Soon I felt his warm breath against the nape of my neck, the hard bumps of his nipples pushing against my upper back and the girth of his cock, as he teasingly wedged it between my arse cheeks. "How should I reward you, hmm?" With that he began sucking gently on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, the resulting moan I made making his cock twitch in its confinement.

"Just fuck me, Matt, fuck me proper," I groaned, his teasing sucks and nips too much with the added sensation of his heated and pulsing cock so temptingly close to where I wanted it. Needed it.

"But of course, it would be my pleasure." I could hear the very grin that must've been on his face, in his voice.

Suddenly my back then went cold, missing the sensation of his skin's space heater quality, as he slunk off to get his hands on some lube he had stored in his bedside table. At the irresistible sight of him bent over to rifle through the drawer just on the other side of the bed, also now on his own hands and knees, reaching from the bed over, I couldn't help myself.

"DOMINIC!!" he yelped, dropping the tube of lube he'd just managed to locate as I'd pounced and nipped him hard on his juicily lush, little bum.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," I giggled, completely unrepentant as I admired my handiwork, Matt trying to twist like a pretzel to see the angry red bite marks on his previously flawless, pale rump. "But, hey, now you have something to remember me by too!"

"You're a dead man, Howard!" he roared (playfully? I certainly hope so), before springing on me, the lube laying forgotten on the bed as I tried to tackle back the man atop me.

Eventually I just let him win, finding myself pinned down beneath him and not quite disliking the familiar position, plus he did look ever so chuffed with his supposed victory. It was hard to forget the last time we'd had a proper little showdown; we were pretty even at the end of the day...

"You gonna behave now?" he asked, a single dark brow raised challengingly.

Naturally I conceded and soon found myself back in my earlier position with the addition of three long, lubed-up fingers relentlessly targeting my prostate while opening me up for him. Eventually satisfied with his work, my mouth hanging open wantonly and freely allowing all my verbal spillage to flow of its own accord, he pulled the digits out with a slight _squelch_ before delivering a swift smack to my arse, his high-pitched giggle following.

"Ha, fucking, ha," I grumbled, my knees and arms beginning to get stiff and achy in their position.

"Naww, why so gwumpy all of a sudden," he cooed annoyingly, his tone contrasting greatly with the way he dragged his nails down my back like a cat, making me hiss, before his hands each grabbed hold of an arse cheek, his thumbs spreading me open.   


 

  
"Please reframe from speaking to me like a child before you're about to--" But I didn't finish what I wanted to say as, the tosser he is, Matt chose that as the perfect moment to push right into me with a single, powerful thrust of his hips. "HOLYFUCKINGGOODDAMN--"

"S'what I thought," he rasped, voice strained as he held his position, buried deep within me, his fingers letting go to instead grasp onto my hips tightly.

"Just. Fucking. Move. Already. Dammit," I ground out through clenched teeth, his unexpectedly sudden penetration having caught me off guard and resulting in clenching; more painful for me, but tighter for him.

"Sorry 'bout that," he apologised, leaning over closer to place a peck between my straining shoulder blades.

The sentiment was sweet and very out of his usual character, but that didn't change the fact that I was hurting.

"MATTHEW!!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh." After that he thankfully did start to move, pulling out a bit with a hiss, before thrusting in again, beginning to find his rhythm, his bony fingers digging in sharply on every drawback. "Fuck, but you're always so deliciously goddamn _tight_."

"Ah-huh," I could only really groan in reply, my senses struggling to cope as pleasure began to bloom through my straining body, Matt's body heat and scent surrounding me, the smell of our sweat mingling and the sounds of our panting and heavy breathing filling the air.

"Speechless?" he teased, a strained chuckle making its way out of him, before he began to pick up the pace some more, properly starting to snap those skinny but deceptively powerful hips of his.

"Y-you want me to t-talk?" I gasped on a drawback, only the head of his dick still in me, my body desperately trying to hold onto that last bit.

"Hmm, wouldn't. Be. A. Bad. Thing," he sneered challengingly, punctuationg his words with deep, hard thrusts which hit my prostate head on every time.

Gasping back groans at the maddening stimulation I was being assaulted with, I attempted to give the man what he wanted, only encouraging him to snap his hips faster. "Oh, Matthew... _oh_... oh God... so _big_ _!_ \- ungh!!! - so _thick!_ Can't... get enough... so good... so _strong!!_ - _fuuuuck_ \- you're such a _man_... how ca--"   


 

  
Clearly having had enough of my cheek, Matt struck the side of my face, making me gasp with shock as he hissed into my ear, his bony fingers digging even deeper into my waist as he pulled my arse flush to his pelvis, rooting himself as deep as possible.

"Watch your tongue, whore." It came as a sneer and made me want to return the favour even more.

"I'm no whore, you fucking bastard!!" I yelled, desperately trying to turn over and achieve some form of payback, but the fucker definitely is stronger than he looks and was in the better position.

"Ah-uh-ah, tsk tsk, Howard. Don't make me discipline you again," he growled, one of his hands now holding me down by the scruff.

"Oh, doing it rough now, are we?" I jeered, before having to do my best to hold back the smirk on my face as he growled and bit into my shoulder, his hips pistoning violently into me now.

As brilliant and amazing as the slow, lazy sex we'd started to discover was, I'd missed our earlier exploits into the rough, more animalistic sort; it had certainly been a while since last we had done such a thing. Though a slap to the face was a bit much...

Matt, however, clearly enjoyed it - 'putting me in my place' - as I could feel the way his hips' movement became more stuttered and erratic, his gnawing having turned to more sucking and moved to the juncture between my shoulder and neck - a favourite spot of his, his hand moving from my neck to instead drag down along my side.

Now back to helplessly moaning and grunting along with him, my throat too sore to cry out any longer, my arms and legs began to tremble for holding our combined weight. My stomach was tightening along with my balls, the heat rising up along my spine; informing me of the obvious: that I was close. Already.

"Oh fucking Christ!!" Matt gasped loudly, his own body trembling above me, as he thrust roughly into me, my arms finally giving out and making us collapse. The fingers of his hand on my hip dug right into my flesh along with his teeth, his other hand grabbing my cock tightly, as I felt him shoot hot and hard into me.

Unable to join him in bliss, his hand's grip too tight, I could only whine along with his throaty groan, which eventually tapered off as he fell properly atop me. His clean, cologne and soapy scent from earlier was now tainted by our combined sweat and what you only be described as _sex_ ; the smell doing my head in, yet still I could not come.

"M-Matt, Matt please," I whined, practically begging, his breathing heavy against my ear, chest rising and falling above me, sweat slick between us.

"W-wa-wait, wanna-wanna do s-something different," he gasped out, breathing still laboured, as he pulled out, leaving me to feel empty and wanting without the warm girth of his thick cock.   


 

  
"Matt? Matt, what are you up to?!" I asked getting a bit worked up, his fist still around my cock as his body moved down and off my back.

When I twisted around to try and see what the mad man was up to, it was to see him smirking back at me, his hands having moved to clutch each of my arse cheeks, his thumbs spreading me wide.

"What are you--"

But he stopped me by winking at me and moving forward, that smirk still on his face as I watched his lips part and his pink tongue slip out.

"Oh God, you're not abou-- _Uuuunggghhh!!!_ " The sound which tore past my lips was guttural and agonisingly deep, as I felt the hot, wet muscle of Matt's tongue brush forcefully against my most sensitive area, before pushing its way into me.

His hands, still gripping my arse, were holding my hips up, while I was left to bite down on my bottom lip, fingers knotting into the sheets beneath me. I was desperately trying to hold down onto reality; the mixture of being so close to coming and the unbelievable and completely surreal fact of what Matthew was doing, was resulting in one hell of a mind fuck along with his perfect tongue fucking.

Nonsense was tumbling from my mouth, my eyes having to screw shut; I could feel the heat of my orgasm building up at the base of my spine, spreading throughout my body, as a throaty moan begun from deep within me.

My senses running amuck, I can't be positive, but I'm sure I could hear a chuckle from Matt as he then withdrew his tongue, causing me to whine. I was so close that just the touch of even a feather could have set me off. I needed that extra little bit though. I needed - wanted - him to help me over that edge.

"That's it, Howard. You're clearly better at moaning like a porn star than talking like one," Matt snarked, but I didn't look back, my eyes were still shut tightly and I could feel the sweat running down my forehead.

And then, without any warning, his mouth was back at it, this time to suck; to suck me clean of his own trace. To suck me into oblivion.

And just like that I was done. I came so hard it felt as though my world was spinning - my head certainly was - as my cum shot up my chest and soaked the sheets beneath me.

Matt only stopped going at it when he was sure he'd gotten all of it.

Finally satisfied with his handiwork, Matt withdrew and gave my arse a gentle smack, before crawling back up along the length of my body to collapse with a heavy sigh beside me.

The sound of our combined breathing, loud and laboured, filled the room, but the noisy thudding of my heart nearly drowned it out.

Sweat coated my face and neck and chest and everywhere, my eyelids heavy with sleep as, with great effort, I turned my head over to the side to face him. "Fuck, Matt, and... y-you k-kiss.. .me with-with that ...mouth," I attempted, throat sore and voice raspy.

His eyes shut and facing me, while he lay on his front, Matt's lips formed a dreamy smile in response.

"Hmm, well aren't you lucky then," he replied huskily, eyes still closed and that content little grin still in place.

"Now look who's being a cheeky son of a bitch," I scoffed, earning me the sight of those pretty blue eyes I adore so much, as they twinkled back at me, highlighting his crooked grin.

"You, always you," and with that he managed to lift himself up in order to pull me close and bring his lips to mine. That talented tongue of his quickly worked its way into my mouth, pushing forth and dominating me, causing me to moan.

  
Ending the deep kiss with a few toe curling pecks to my lips, I could feel his lips curl into a grin. "So how'd you like the combination of our tastes? Heady, isn't it?"

I could still taste it, my mouth having been thoroughly excavated by his tongue, and he was right, just thinking about the reason for why it was so, made me groan noisily again.

The sinfully sultry atmosphere was broken by Matt's - more commonly heard now a days - infectious, high-pitched giggle. Naturally I couldn't help but join in, so there we were left guffawing and chuckling madly, rolling about in the bedding like a pair of crazy teenagers.

                                                                                                         ***

After a second round, this time in good ol' fashioned missionary, which only seemed to prove harder and faster than the last, we both stumbled off to the bathroom - once having recovered enough energy to do so of course - in order to go brush our teeth and wash our mouths out. Upon returning to the bedroom, bodies boneless and tired, we'd just collapsed back on the bed with happy sighs.

Avoiding the wet patch in the bedding, I shuffled over to Matt's side of the bed, pulling him into my arms and tucked into the curve of my body. He just sighed deeper and wiggled his body even closer into me, cuddling onto the arm I had wrapped around him.

"So sweet," I gushed teasingly, reaching up to run my fingers through his poofing mess of hair.

"Hmm, shut it," he grumbled sleepily, a smile clear in his voice though, as I then placed a chaste kiss behind his ear.

Eyes heavy from the strenuous workout and early wake up, I yawned feeling myself drifting off just as I felt Matt rubbing his head into my arm, his breathing having evened out in gentle puffs against my skin...

                                                                                                         ***

The sound of cars hooting in the street outside, drivers shouting out angrily at one another, people simply having loud conversations as they walked by, woke me.

When I blindly felt out for Matt and came into contact with nothing, though, I realised that during our nap I must have rolled away from him as I often did when his space heater of a body made me too hot. Luckily, for me, my side of the bed had dried in the meantime, I thought thankfully.   


 

  
My heavy eyes opened lazily and I saw him lying with his back still to me, just inches away from my searching fingers. The light streaming through the sizeable bedroom window playing along the smooth alabaster of his skin, highlighting the curve of his spine and dip of his ribs to where his slight waist was just visible, peeking out from under the duvet. Beautiful.

Taking in the fact that this was the last time I'd wake to see him lying next to me like this for over a month, I felt the need to make the best of it. I reached over to my side of the bed to where my mobile was lying and slid it open, hastily tapping in my password, before opening the camera app; determined to document this moment.

Over the past few weeks I'd realised that, most likely due to the secrecy of our relationship, we had literally no pictures of one another; the only one I still had of Matt was that one of him passed out on our first date, drooling in my lap. So why not top it up with another sleeping Matt pic?

Grinning, I snapped a pic of his bare back and the visible curve of his hip, saving the way the sunlight was draped gracefully over his smooth, flawless skin for myself.

Then, scooting up a bit closer, I thought it best to wake him; we didn't have the time to waste. Tentatively, I reached out my free hand to stroke my fingers slowly along the bumps of his spine, before I reached his waist and slid my hand to cup his sharp hipbone, my thumb beginning to rub circles into his flesh.

"Mmm-hmm," he hummed, slowly waking, his voice gruff and scratchy. "Dom? You already getting frisky?"

Chuckling, I squeezed his hip, making him jolt; always the more ticklish one of us.

"Just thought we shouldn't waste away our last day sleeping," I pointed out, as he squirmed, eventually managing to roll over and face me, big blue eyes blinking sleepily back at me.

"Fair enough, you raise a valid point," he grinned lazily back, as I reached out a hand to brush a strand of his lengthening dark hair behind his ear, making his eyes flutter dreamily. Seeing this as another perfect 'Kodak moment' I sneakily snapped another pic.

His eyes instantly snapped open properly. "Dominic, did you just--"

"Take a picture? That I did," I affirmed, leaning over to peck the tip of his nose, that frown line of his furrowing between his eyebrows.

"Why the fuck are you taking pictures?" he asked, trying to reach for my iPhone, but I just snatched it easily out of his reach.

" Because... we have no pictures as a couple and I don't really have any of you; if you know what I mean..."   


  
He just raised his eyebrows sceptically. "Dom--"

"Come on, Matt. Please?"

"You want to take nudes..." he stated more than asked.

"Don't have to, just pics together, of you," I defended, poking him in the chest and making him roll his eyes. "I can make it worth your time?" I poked him a few more times.

"Okay, okay. Sheesh, desperate much, Dom?"

 

                                                                                                   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"Thank you," Dom grinned, that perfect, wide smile of his flashing gratefully, as he pulled me into a deep kiss.

I can't say I was too surprised then, when I heard his phone's camera go off.

"You better not let these pictures fall into the wrong hands," I warned, as he tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth. Another flash went off.

"Don't worry, these are just for me and," he pushed me down flat on my back as he straddled my waist, phone held above me, "you." _Flash._

He then leaned over to lick a long stripe up my chest, before latching onto my mouth again, the camera flash continuing to go off.

"I want to have a go too," I said suddenly, wanting to join in more (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, eh?), as I reached over to my side of the bed to retrieve my own phone. While I unlocked it and opened the camera, he scooted down the length of my body, kissing and licking at whatever skin he came into contact with on his way to lie against my side. His leg then kicked the duvet aside as he threw it over me possessively.

  
As much as the looming thought of the possibility of these pictures getting out somehow hung heavy in my thoughts, I chose to push it aside and enjoy myself. Something Dom was clearly having no issues with.

"You're such a little slut, getting turned on by the knowledge of us documenting this," I growled, feeling Dom's erection pressing into my thigh, as he ravaged the skin over my collarbone. I snapped my first picture.

"Like you aren't," he growled deeply back, suddenly groping my answering hard-on. I could feel my face contort with pleasure, just as the sound of his camera went off.

"Hush," I grinned deliriously, putting my phone briefly in my mouth so that I could grab him by the hips and flip him under me and so switch our positions.

He just laughed and snapped another pic, this one of me playfully growling down at him, lip curled and my iPhone between my teeth.

"Sexy, sexy, tiger," he practically purred and I took my phone into my hand again so that I could grab onto his lips again and savour the taste of his mouth. Both of us continuing to snap pictures.

Breathless, we broke apart and I collapsed onto the pillows, Dom wiggling into a comfortable position with his head on my shoulder; snapping a picture of us panting away.

"God, these are going to be hideous, aren't they?" I muttered, my breathing slowly calming down after the kissing, unlike a certain part of my body.

"Of course not, they'll be gorgeous and hot. They're of us after all, aren't they?" He wiggled his eyebrows, making me roll my eyes. Of course another picture was snapped on his part.

"Now you'll be able to see what you look like when you roll those pretty eyes of yours," he chuckled, flicking my nose. "Perhaps you'll even stop."

"Pssht, keep dreaming," I said, before turning my head to the side to nip his ear, sneakily snapping a picture as he yelped in surprise.

"Bastard! Gonna get you back!" he declared, shoving me and starting to take constant pictures as I swatted at his free hand which proceeded to tickle me mercilessly. He just used his strong thighs to lock my arms at my sides then, having straddled my stomach, his empty hand now pushed its way invasively into my wedged shut armpits, making me squeal loudly and hysterically with that ridiculously high-pitched laugh of mine.   


 

  
"I YIELD! I YIELD!!" I spluttered squirming and bucking as his assault just continued, his own, wicked, laugh filling the room.

"You've been watching too much Game of Thrones again, babe. That ain't gonna work here, in the real world!" he cackled, as I felt like I was about to explode.

"F-FUCKER!!" I gasped out, my laughter now actually breaking its already high pitch.

"Guess what? I just realised my camera's actually been on record - must've hit the button in the struggle." At this he was laughing so much himself, that I managed to knock him off and free myself.

"I-I can see y-your tonsils," I panted, finding my phone which had slipped out of my hands at some point, wanting to take a picture to show him just how 'attractive' he looked right now, only to halt in my actions. "Oh my God!"

My explosion into a fresh batch of laughter halted Dom in his own fit of laughter. "What?" he asked, sitting up straight, as I continued to flick through the last few pictures I'd taken by accident while trying to defend myself.

When I didn't immediately respond, he grew impatient, reaching over for my phone, but I was quick to hold it out of his reach.

"Matthew!" he whined, scrambling to get a look over my shoulder. "Oh my God!!" he echoed my earlier words. "It almost looks like we're fucking!"

At some stage of the tickling, his arse had trapped my cock beneath him perfectly - no doubt explaining why I'd been battling a real rager of an erection even before seeing these pics - giving the exact impression of... well of us being joined.

"To be deleted, I thi--" I began, only for him to grab my mobile.

"Ah-uh, no ways!" he laughed, pushing back my half-hearted attempts at stealing the phone back. "I want these! In fact it gives me an idea for next time!"

"You're such a pervert," I scoffed, falling back into the pillows.

"Oh, rich coming from you, arselicker!"

"I'm sorry, what?! Did you just call me 'arselicker'?! Well that's it, see if I ever put my mouth anywhere near your arse again!"   


 

  
Panic instantly filled his features. "I kid, I kid! Oh come on, Matt. You're not being serious?!" And suddenly I had myself with a lap full of pleading Dominic. "I'm sorry! I can make it up to you, oh come on. Please, babe. You're too fucking good at rimming to suddenly call it quits!  Speaking of which, why did you never let on to it before?!"

I just laughed at his motor mouth though and bowled him over, getting him under me again. "Blow me then."

"So forceful! Who do you even th--"

"Dom, if you want my mouth anywhere near that plump, round, little arse of yours ever again--"

"Okay, okay, say no more. Come, slide up a bit then."

And just like that; only a few minutes later and I had my arms crossed in front of me in a bracing position against the wall, as I buried my head in them, Dom's hands clutching my arse tightly and pushing me even deeper into the unbelievably divine, wet heat of his mouth and then tight as fuck throat. Our phones lying forgotten somewhere amongst the heap of bedding.

 

                                                                                                          ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

As well as making Matt see stars, I'd also been sure to hurriedly grope for one of the phones, one of which thankfully was nearby and hadn't locked just yet. He'd been so gone by then, as I'd quickly snapped a pic of him, body and face gloriously contorted in orgasm, that he hadn't even notice a thing.

When he slowly came down from his high, me having at that stage already gently laid him down next to me, so that I could catch my breath and massage my now aching jaw, he rolled over lazily to face me, hair sticking up all over the place and a satisfied grin on his face.

"Fuck, I swear you get better every time."

I just winked, before he then leaned forward to place some fleeting kisses on the side of my jaw I'd been rubbing.

I could barely believe the uncharacteristic and so very welcome sweetness of the surprising gesture.

"Sorry about hitting you, by the way. Got a bit carried away..." I swear my jaw nearly dislocated in its gravity-defying drop. "Oi! Don't look so shocked!"

"Sorry, sorry, babe," I chuckled, pulling him close again and giving him a sweet peck. "And don't worry about it, after my sneaky nip, I believe we're even."

He just nodded in response though, his eyes then starting to drift shut, head nudging into my chest. I knew I had to stop him from drifting off again; our last hours were slipping by and I didn't want to lose any more to sleep.

"Matt? Matty babe, don't sleep."

"'m not sleeping," he mumbled, eyes still shut.   


 

  
I poked him gently in the side. "Come on, babe. Let's not waste what little time we have left together."

"But then, what do you suppose we do do with the rest of your our time, hmm?" he asked, eyes slowly opening again, as he moved back a bit to look at me properly.

"Umm..." I began, shuffling about to bring my arm up so that I could rest my head on the elbow as I bent it. I then made a show of thinking, by using my left hand to scratch thoughtfully at the stubble growing along my jawline.

"Yes? I'm waiting," he smirked, reaching out to circle my nipple lazily with his long index finger.

"You're really into my nipples today, aren't you?" I laughed, running my hand through the lengthy locks of hair at the back of his head, as we shuffled a little closer together again.

"I'm always into them," was his deadpan response, as he ducked his head to lap at the sensitive bundle of nerves now instead.

Whatever we were going to do with our time, it couldn't involve any clothing - at least for the time being - was the conclusion I immediately arrived at.

As I was pushed to lay back down flat on the bed, Matt continuing with his lathing and sucking, it hit me.

"Bath."

"Sorry, what?" Matt asked, releasing my nipple and halting in giving this one a lovebite too, to look up at me confusedly.

"We should have a bath, after this morning we could probably both do with a good, relaxing clean and then... I don't know, go out for..." I briefly glanced at his bedside clock. "A late lunch?"

He simply raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, Matt. No one would have to know we're together; it's not unusual for two mates to go out for food, you know. Also, I know you love bathing."

"Alright then, I guess we could do that, if that's what you want..." he nodded, surprising me with his completely unselfish response. He's just been like this the past few days though, and I have my suspicions it has to do with him actually feeling guilty about the way his trip was upsetting me.

I know right, Matt Bellamy actually feeling bad about something and being unselfish for a change? I think if someone told me a few months ago this would be the case, I would have just laughed loudly in their face and told them to stop pissing about.

"And I only like bathing, because, if I'm with you, you do all the work." And there was my Matthew.

"Sure, sure," I chuckled, making him predictably roll those azure eyes.

"Wanker," he muttered.

"Not true; I have you for that now."

He just gaped back at me incredulously.

"Aww, come on, babe. It was a joke." When he just huffed though, I knotted my fingers in their hold of the hair at the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss, knowing exactly how to work him.

Before long he was sliding on top of me to deepen the kiss.

                                                                                                         ***

"Shit, I really did do a number on you," I cackled gleefully at the sight of the purpling bite mark on Matt's otherwise snow white rump, as he bent over to run us both a bubble bath.

"Fuck you, Dom," he grumbled, but couldn't hide the smile from the laughter he was holding back, as he twisted to try get a look for himself. "Oh my God, I can actually make out the indentations of your teeth, you prick."

  
"Aww, I'm sorry. Let me kiss it better," I suggested, lighting the last candle of the bunch I'd found at the bottom of one of the cupboards in the kitchen. 'In case of blackouts', he'd attempted to explain them away to me. _Sure_.

"Ugh, you've made my bathroom look like a scene from some cheesy romance," he huffed taking in everything as I shut the door, the blinds already drawn in helping to create artificial darkness, which the candles were now dancing about in.

I chose to just ignore him though, making my way to deliver on my word.

"What _are_ you doing?" he frowned, as I came up behind him and held him still by the hips, in his bent over position so that he could turn the water off. Instead of replying verbally, I simply bent to place a chaste kiss to the marred skin of his left buttock. "God, you're a weirdo sometimes." He couldn't help but giggle this time though.

I just joined in, as I straightened to move over and dip a toe in the foamy bathwater, testing the temperature. Finding it to be perfect, I stepped in first with one and then both feet, before sliding into a seated position, my back against the edge, with a deep sigh, eyes having drifted shut.

When I opened them up it was to find Matt standing and staring at me with dreamy eyes and a slight curl to his lips. Caught, his cheeks actually flushed a little, as he hurriedly climbed in too.

"You really are too cute," I giggled, pulling him backwards, to fit him between my legs, my arms wrapped around his torso, as he scoffed indignantly and told me to 'shut up'.

"You're so condescending sometimes, Howard," he muttered, squirming in my hold.

"Um, hello, pot, kettle? And anyway, do you want me to wash your hair or not?"

Well that certainly got his attention, as he immediately reached out for the bottle of shampoo by the other end of the bath, near his feet, before handing it back toward me expectantly.

"And you're telling me you don't deserve it sometimes?" I asked, one of my own eyebrows raised for a change.

"Whatever, Dom. Less yadda yadda and more head massaging."   


 

  
"Oh I'll massage you're head alright," I leered playfully, slipping my free hand down the front of him to give his cockhead a squeeze, making his body jump a bit in the bath as his hands actually batted me away.

"Dirty minded, lecherous, little creep," he scolded, but linked his hand in mine to give it a brief squeeze before letting go.

"Oh I love it when you talk dirty, babe," I continued playfully, whispering the words in my best sultry voice, as I dragged my tongue down the shell of his ear, before latching on to suck the lobe.

His body shuddered happily in my embrace, as he turned his head to capture my lips with his, leading to a heated snog.

Maintaining the kiss, his teeth now nipping and pulling on my lips, I blindly poured some of the shampoo onto my palm and began to start lathering it in his messy hair, causing him to moan happily. I then pulled out of the kiss to focus on the job at hand as I worked the suds deeply into his hair, rubbing and scratching his scalp.

His eyelids drooped, before he faced forward again and leaned his head forward too, giving me the best angle with which to work with, as he continued to sigh happily and moan every now and again.

When I eventually pulled out the extendible nozzle of the tap by the side of the bath to rinse all the shampoo out of his thick, inky wet hair, I nearly dropped it, as he suddenly shocked me with his next, very unexpected, words, while he pushed back into my rather excitable cock.

"Oh God. Fuck me, Dom. Just do it. In the bath. Now. Fuck me. Please."   



	30. Chapter 30

_"Ugh just fuck me, Dom. Do it. In the bath. Now. Fuck me. Please."_

If there was one thing I'd learned from my relationship these past few months with Matthew (official and not), it was that I should never turn down such a request, as Lord only knows when - or if - he'd ever ask or allow for such a thing again. 

Plus he'd said 'please', something else very unlike him.

With his recent behaviour, I couldn't help but briefly consider what had happened to the 'real Matthew Bellamy' for this surely could not be him. Guilt is a funny thing, though, I suppose. Especially when it manages to get through to those who usually try to show they're low on empathy and normal human persuasion.

Fuck him...

I swallowed, my throat suddenly thick, as I mechanically put the nozzle back in place, my heart suddenly beating fast, while everything else seemed to slow down around me.I let my hands move to rest on the warm, smooth, now wet, skin of his shoulders, sharp and prominent, before dragging them slowly down the outside of his arms; moving with care.

Impatient, Matt just broke the strange spell I felt compelled by, and turned to grab the sides of my face and pulled me into a messy kiss, his body twisted in order for him to still sit in front of me while turning back to kiss me. When the awkward position caused his hip to knock into the firm rigidity of my - only to be expected - raging erection, he broke off in a groan.

"S'enough, let's fuck," he said, ever so poetically, as he reached over the side of the bath to retrieve the tube of lube he'd clearly snuck in at some point under my nose. When he noticed my raised eyebrow, he just shrugged. "Thought we could sneak in another round before we left. Only I'd figured I'd be doing the fucking."

I just grinned and shook my head. "Oh, sweetness, you still will be. In a way," I winked, snatching the lube from him. "Maybe get up out the water a bit?"

Some awkward slipping and sliding and maneuvering later and a few curses and insults to "fucking watch it" shot at me and Matt was holding himself in a kneeling position above me as he slowly lowered himself. The hand he had clutched around me to hold me in place was ever so slightly trembling, the only giveaway to his nerves; him clearly having worked himself up to doing this and just too damn pig-headed to admit to it.

It was cute I guess, that he wanted to do something he knew I'd like, even if he himself was rather still a bit apprehensive about it.

I was sure to support him by holding him steady by the waist, wary of the fact that we were surrounded by water and slippery porcelain.

From my fingers' position, spread out over his stomach as they clutched him tightly, I felt the way his stomach muscles clenched in anticipation, my own reflecting this as my heart picked up its pace again. When I felt the head of my cock part his cheeks as he carefully lowered himself, the anticipation levels were killing me, that when I then felt it actually begin to push through and into him, I could barely contain the deep groan that accompanied the sharp gasp that escaped him.

What I wasn't so keen on, though, was the way his grip on my cock reflexively tightened, painfully, and caused me to yelp.

Hearing me and taking note, he thankfully snapped out of it and let go, as he then continued to ease himself down on me, making me bite my bottom lip and groan for an entirely more pleasurable reason.

"Fuck. So. Hot. And. Tight," I gasped out stupidly, my brain-to-mouth filters not quite working. Thankfully, though, he was so focused and concentrated on what he was doing, that he didn't respond with some snarky comment that would be so like him.

Instead I saw his arms, his hands having moved to now grip either side of the tub, straining and shaking slightly as suddenly I felt myself completely engulfed in his body's ridiculously and unbelievably tight grip of gorgeous heat, the fleshy cushioning of his bum now flush with my groin.

"You okay?" I surprisingly managed, despite the way my mind was under attack by how amazing it felt to be inside him once again.

"Ah-huh," he nodded very quickly, voice strained, as he tried to budge a bit, only to instantly freeze. "Fuck."

"Here, take it easy," I grinned, my arms now moving to wrap around his slippery torso, pulling him up against my chest in my own kneeling position. "Relax a bit, your body's all tensed up, babe," I said gently, planting a kiss at the back of his neck on one of the vertebra between his shoulders.

"Ah-huh, trying," he nodded, voice slightly strained, slowly melting back into my embrace, a small moan slipping past his lips as the relaxation of his body allowed me to go ever so slightly deeper, his body beginning to adjust to the girth and size of my dick.

"There you go," I smiled, this time kissing the side of his neck just above his silver chain, as he carefully lifted himself a bit, before taking me all the way back in; both of us gasping in response.

"S-so, you just gonna sit there and make me do all the work then, Howard?" he asked, after a few more slow and deep repeats of him fucking himself on me, turning his head slightly to get a look at me. "I'm gonna take that as a yes," he teased, having caught sight of my blissed out, mouth hanging open and eyes fluttering, expression.

"Oi, watch it, I was waiting for you to adjus--"

But I was interrupted by a deep groan as he slipped a bit and my cock went in at a different angle and judging by his resulting noise and his own facial expression, I'd managed to hit his prostate. Taking this as our sign that he was more than ready for the fucking he'd asked for, I tightened my hold around him and thrust up properly and with intent, making him cry out loudly.

"Fuck, Dom!!"

"Come on, babe, fuck yourself on me," I urged, before sucking on the tendon standing out along where his shoulder and neck met. Subconsciously it seemed I was trying to properly mark him as mine even further, the bruising bite on his bum not enough.

"'kay," he nodded, quickly meeting the thrust of my hips, his knuckles turning white in their hold of the sides of the tub as he began to bounce properly on my dick.

"Fuck, this feels really good. You feel amazing, babe," I groaned, my grip loosening to instead support his hips as he used them to drive himself down on me.

"Yeah, yeah. S'not bad," he panted, moving his hips in a teasing figure-eight motion the way I'd done so many time before when riding him. 

"'Not bad', huh?" I asked with a teasing edge to my voice, prompting him to twist a bit to smirk back at me. This, of course, then only resulted in his mouth hanging open in pleasure and his eyes to close, as the new position drove me into him at a whole new angle.

Loving the completely wanton look on his face, I only wished to further the pleasure his senses were being battered with, so moved my hands in a teasing caress up along his sides, before reaching my destination. The deep, drawn out moan that then left his mouth as I began to squeeze and roll his nipples in between my fingers, left me grinning like a moron.

“Like that, hmm?” I whispered hotly into his ear, making him shiver and goosebumps breakout across his skin. The accompanying fluttering pulls of his muscles around me only added to our coupling, causing me to groan a bit too.

Matt’s head then fell back heavily to rest on my shoulder, as I lowered one of my hands, dragging it down his flushed and wet skin, into the foamy bathwater to wrap around him and begin to wank him in time with our hips’ slow, deep rolls. Both still surprisingly conscious of the fact that we were surrounded by water and slippery surfacing, we were careful to keep the pace from reaching a frantic pitch – as was a frequent habit of ours.

The slower pace didn’t detract at all from the experience though, if anything it only helped enhance certain aspects, both of us (and by ‘us’ I, of course, mean Matt) being far more tender and loving than usual. With his head resting back on my shoulder, he tilted it to the side so that he could place hot, sucking kisses along my neck there, making me moan more along with him, as I began to fuck him with a bit more intention. I ran my fingertip through his slit, before squeezing his cockhead in a way that made him thrust down on me with even more gusto than before.

“Jesus, fuck, Dom,” he panted, his voice breaking a bit as I nailed his spot, our movements having sped up a tad and him now back to riding me. I looked down to see how the water splashed and slapped against and between us.

“Y-your bathroom floor’s gonna be a m-mess,” I pointed out, as he continued to ride me relentlessly, knuckles white as they still held onto the sides of the bath for support.

"F-fuck the f-floor, _I'm_ gonna be a m-mess," he managed through gritted teeth, his muscles clamping down on me, as I ran my free hand down his soaked body.

"I-I'll be right there... w-with you," I assured him, pulling his thick, hard dick against his belly before letting go and then repeating the action, making him moan loudly, my mouth then beginning to suck along the side of his neck as I went back to tugging him.

"F-fuck, but you're big though," he gasped out then at a point when I decided I needed to get some of the control, abandoning his cock to instead grip his hips again and start to properly thrust into the warm heat of him.

"You know it," I could only pant against the steaming skin of his shoulder, as I started to reposition us. Matt ended up gripping the back of the bathtub, both of us on our knees as I pounded into him.

At this point he seemed pretty incapable of speech, his mouth having been reduced to only moans and grunts, with a loud cry every time I nailed his prostate. Needless to say, loving the sound and already craving more, be began to cry out a lot more frequently.

As I felt his body beginning to tremble and hear his voice become hoarse, I knew he was teetering on the edge. My own release quickly closing in too, I let go of his left hip to start pumping his cock again, his length hot and pulsing.

"Oh God, Dom," he gasped hoarsely, his head hanging down and slight body a trembling wreck; the moisture gathered down his spine no longer that of the diminishing bathwater, but rather that of perspiration.

"Yes, that's it, babe. Come for me," I coaxed, before licking a long, wet stripe along the sharp vertebra - confirming my suspicions - I felt him throb in my tight fist, as he suddenly came then with a broken off cry of my name, shooting up his front and the inside of the bathtub.

Satisfied by his release, I finally let go myself, the strong muscles of his inner walls tugging me to perfect completion, before I fell onto his back in a panting mess.

"O-okay, lemme go, Dom. Startin' to hurt," he weakly slapped at my hand still tightly gripping his cock, which was beginning to soften.

"S-sorry," I apologised, letting go to instead grip his hip again and pull out carefully, before I then pulled him back to sit between my legs, as I moved to sit down and lean against the opposite end of the tub, cautious of the tap. "Sheesh, where'd all the water go?" I then joked, taking in the way the water level didn't even really cover our thighs as we sat with our legs spread out.

"S'all over the floor and up my arse," Matt muttered, his body completely floppy as he just seemed to have melted into my embrace.

"Charming," was my reply, as I lifted a hand to idly attempt to wash off some of the cum splattered up his front.

"It's true. I'd like to see how you like being fucked underwater," he continued, squirming rather a bit when I let my index finger delve into his bellybutton.

"Well, you were all too keen on the idea of fucking _me_ underwater..." I pointed out, digging my finger in deeper, making him jolt and squirm even more.

"Dom, stop!" he whined, voice hinting on annoyance, but still too fucked and floppy to fight back properly, as he wiggled about in front of me pathetically.

"Okay, okay," I surrendered, taking mercy on him and just pulling him into my arms. I just couldn't help myself, I just loved him all floppy and cuddly for a change.

"Well at least this way your cum doesn't feel as weird coming out my arse, I guess," Matt suddenly pointed out, wiggling his butt a bit.

"So very charming," I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile curling my lips, as he just twisted around to blow a raspberry at me. "Com'on, Prince Charming, this water - at least what's left - is a bit too manky now."

"I don't know if I can even stand, to be honest..." came a rather deadpanned response from him, his big blue eyes wide and serious.

"That good, huh?" I winked, giving his cheek a quick kiss, which only made him scowl.

"It... wasn't bad..."

"Bitch please, I fucked you _good_ ," I teased, earning me a finger flick to the nose, before the characteristic eye roll. "Well, I'm getting out," I then winked, getting up and then climbing out carefully, my own legs feeling a bit like jelly and the wet floor surrounding the tub a death trap.

Taking note of the slippery, soaked tile floor, I grabbed the towels hanging up and threw them onto the floor, to create a sort of 'towel pathway'.

"Dom, you can't just leave me here, for fuck's sake. I'm gonna break my neck if I try to get up without any help!"

"Naww," I giggled, on my way out, to go get two more towels.

"DOM!!"

"I'm just getting more towels, don't get your balls in a knot!" I called out from the linen cupboard, in the passage outside his room. I wrapped the first towel around my waist and threw the other over my shoulder, as I walked back through Matt's room and into the en suite.

"Com'on," I grinned down at him scowling, as I opened the towel and held it out for him invitingly.

"You're such a fucker," he grumbled, trying to pull himself up, arms and legs trembling a bit as he tried to stand.

"It looks like I fucked you silly," I couldn't help laughing as I went over to wrap him up in the towel, before helping him out the tub.

"You're so lucky I still feel too much like a fucking noodle to hurt you," Matt muttered, as I bundled him up, before sweeping him up into my arms, despite the fact that I knew it annoyed him when I picked him up.

"Please, you love it when I take care of you, little noodle," I winked, carrying the scowling man back into the room, where I dropped him to bounce on the bed.

 

                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"You okay there?" Dominic asked carefully, his eyes taking in the way I shifted uncomfortably in my hard seat.

"Just fine," I muttered, looking up to see his face was the perfect mixture of pity and pride.

"Hmmm, 'course you are," Dom replied with a sceptically raised eyebrow.

"Seriously, Dom. You're not that well endowed," I shot back with an eye roll, secretly trying my best to suppress a smile at his shocked theatrical gasp.

"How very dare you! Anyway," he leaned in, "we both know that's a lie," he then winked.

"Perhaps," I said with a chuckle as I shook my head, popping an olive from my otherwise finished side salad in my mouth.

We'd gone to a small, nondescript Italian restaurant for our late lunch and were busy finishing up.

"So, you even a bit nervous?" he asked, the waiter clearing our table and putting down a desert menu.

"Hmm, not really," I shrugged, Dom quickly snatching up the desert menu just as I had been about to try give it back to the waiter, who now just walked off.

When I raised an eyebrow, he looked a bit bashful. "Sorry, just... don't you maybe wanna share a desert?" he asked, giving his best shot at 'puppy eyes', yet biting his lip nervously.

"Not particularly, I'm rather full as it is..." I began, but the way his face fell made that annoying knot of guilt, which was becoming ever more persistent, clench. "Fine. What do you want?" I gave in with a sigh, his face instantly lighting up. "I'll only have a little bit though."

"That's fine! Um..." he began perusing the menu, before suddenly pointing at something, "Ooh, they have chocolate mousse!"

"So? What, is that what you want then?" I asked somewhat disinterestedly, my stomach honestly stuffed after a huge, steaming bowl of pasta and the expensive bottle of Shiraz we'd polished off.

Pouting, he looked back up at me, "'So'? So that's one of your favourites! Don't make me remind you of the time when--"

"Yeah, yeah. It's okay," I rushed to shut him up, glancing around us quickly to see if anyone was listening to our conversation. Thankfully we'd managed to find a fairly secluded spot inside the restaurant, also even more so with most of the other patrons choosing to dine outside, it being a sunny spring day and all.

By the twinkling look in his eyes he didn't even need to say anymore, it was hard not to be taunted into remembering a night spent, not too long ago, of me eating the stuff off Dom; the blond having smeared it all over himself. And I mean _all_ over.

"So, shall we?"

"Shall we what?!" I asked, looking over to the waiter who'd come around the corner to see if we'd decided yet.

"Get the mousse?" he grinned, satisfied, making me frown.

"Yeah, whatever, Howard. Get the damn mousse."

Having ordered the bloody desert, Dom returned to his earlier line of questioning.

"How come you aren't even vaguely nervous, you know, about the upcoming trip? All that shit going on over there at the moment in Somalia - and that's not even touching on the whole pirate part of this trip."

"'Cause I'm not," I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about the trip as it usually led to fighting or unpleasantness between us. Hence, perhaps, it really was the source of that knot in my gut.

"Ugh, Matt," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance. A habit, I couldn't help notice, he'd picked up from me in recent weeks. "I don't understand how you can be so calm about this all! Any number of awful things could go wrong!"

"Relax, Dom. It'll all be fine. You're stressing too much about it all, you'll give yourself an aneurysm," I sighed, picking back up on the same spiel yet again. "It's only a month and two extra days and I'll be home all safe and sound, there's really no big deal."

"But, Matt, what if something goes wrong?" he asked, forehead creasing with concern. I also noticed the way his hand momentarily tried to reach out for my right, which was resting on the table too, before he remembered himself and stopped it.

Sighing, I looked back into his worried eyes and, despite my better judgment, reached out to lightly brush our fingers together nonetheless. "It'll be okay, Dom. Nothing will happen. Please stop worrying," and with that I gave his hand a quick squeeze, before seeing that the waiter was approaching us again; my hand flew back like I'd touched fire. "Anyway, here's your silly desert."

"Gentlemen," the water smiled, putting down the smart glass filled with chocolatey desert topped with cream and a sprig of mint. "Hope you both enjoy," he winked before placing a single spoon between us and leaving. Not once had we made any indication of wanting to share the treat, let alone that we'd want to share a spoon too.

I think my jaw must've hit the tabletop, Dom sniggering as he picked up the long silver soda spoon and helped himself to some of the desert. "What's wrong, Matt?" he jokingly asked, sliding the cleaned spoon out of his pursed full lips with a slight _'smack'_.

"B-but, how, how did he--I'm sure I moved my hand quickly enough... But, how--"

"Matt, babe, clearly we're just too obviously a couple we don't even have to be physical," he giggled, before I felt him run his foot up along my trouser leg teasingly.

"Stop it," I hissed, unable not to look around.

"Oh, relax, Matt," Dom sighed, shaking his head. "The waiter clearly doesn't mind and he didn't seem to recognise us anyway, so 'relax'." The obvious mirroring of my earlier words only made my frown deepen.

Were we really that obvious?!

"This is why I don't want to go out together," I muttered, as Dom just continued to practically give that fucking spoon head every time he cleaned off the latest spoonful of mousse.

"So what, Matt? Nothing bad happened. So what if the waiter knows, we're all good. Now, don't you want any?" he then asked, holding out a new spoonful toward me. I just rolled my eyes and scoffed in annoyance.

Ugh, how could he be so nonplussed by the whole fucking thing?! What if the waiter had recognised us?! What if someone else wanted to sit inside and realised too?!

"Ugh, Matt. Come on, stop freaking out. You keep telling me to relax, when you won't even do so yourself," he sighed, licking the spoon clean himself.

"This is different."

"Yes, this is no big deal: there'll be no consequences. Can we confidently say the same about your trip? No," he said confidently, but then sighed. "But whatever, Matthew. I'll just sit back and let you get all the say; like always," he then added, grumbling as he ate some more of the sweet.

The knot in my gut was literally twisting and clenching and making me want to curl in on myself with guilt. What the fuck was even happening to me? Why should I feel so bad? I was right! Wasn't I...?

"Dom..." I began, not quite knowing really what to say.

"No, Matthew. Don't bother. It's all _fine._ "

He looked pissed off and upset; definitely the last thing I wanted considering we only had a few hours left... Don't get me wrong, I may sometimes come across as a callous bastard, but... 33 days was going to be an awfully long time not having his sunny disposition around. What can I say, I'd gotten used to it, heck, we practically lived together lately! Even two days without his annoying arse would feel ages!

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you. Let's... let's just enjoy the time we have left?" I asked, biting my lip as I realised I'd have to clearly play along with him to lift his spirits, as he just sniffed at my apology.

"Fine."

"Dom," I sighed, reaching out to try touch his hand, but he moved it, lifting an eyebrow as he looked back at me. Testing me. Seeing how sorry I was. "Fine, giving me that fucking spoon," I grumbled, turning my already outstretched hand palm up, expectantly.

"Ah-uh," he shook his head, scooping up some more desert and instead leaned forward and held it out in front of my mouth, expectant now himself.

When I looked up at his eyes defiantly, he raised both eyebrows challengingly.

"Ugh, dammit, alright!" And so I leaned forward and took the offered mouthful, if only to placate him, his fingers refusing to release their hold on the spoon when I tried to take it off him. "S'what, you wanna spoon feed me now, Howard?" I grumbled, swallowing the mousse.

"Well... it is kinda sexy," he grinned, already getting more to present me with.

"Seriously," I began before accepting the offered mouthful, this time resigning myself to being spoon-fed, "you find it sexy to treat me like a baby?"

"Matthew," he groaned, tapping the tip of my nose with the spoon, causing my eyes to cross briefly, before narrowing. "Why must you insist on being so difficult?"

"Because, _Dominic_ ," I began, taking the spoon from him before reversing our roles and taking back my own and feeding him. "That's just what I'm like, s'not like I didn't give you enough indication of this at the start."

"Hmm, fair enough," he hummed, sure to keep full eye contact as he flicked his tongue out to ensure the spoon was thoroughly cleaned.

"Dominic," I hissed, trying to keep my voice as quiet as possible, "please stop. I can't pop a boner in public, I swear to God I'll kill you. Plus... it'll be too sore if I get hard again anytime soon."

"Aww, did I finally wear you out, babe?" he grinned proudly and I just sighed and rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll behave."

Call me crazy, but with that sneaky twinkle to those crinkled grey eyes, I didn't trust him for a second.

 

                                                                                         ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"So, are you sure you've packed everything?" I asked again, breaking the deep kiss with Matthew. 

"Yes, Dom. I already told you this, though, the last three times you asked," he sighed, his pretty crystal blues rolling like usual.

"Hey, you can never be too sure!" I defended myself, but he just pushed me down from where I'd been straddling his lap, to instead lie down across the couch on my back.

"Hmm, enough talking, my taxi'll be here any minute and I wanna kiss you while I still can," he said, covering my body with his own, supporting himself on his forearms, which rested either side of me, as he then leaned down to kiss me some more.

"M'kay," I managed around the kiss, before he opened up my mouth to him and slid his slick, hot tongue into my mouth. I was instantly silenced (well, aside from the occasional moan).

As our tongues tangled and tried to memorise one another's mouths as best we could, I slid my hands down his back. Matt was only wearing a light jumper over his shirt, which allowed me to still feel the bumps and angles of his bones as I felt them out, before lowering my hands to their main goal: his arse. Sucking on his tongue, his eyes closed and those long, dark lashes casting shadows to join the ones formed by his sharp cheekbones, I slipped my hands under the waistbands of his trousers and boxers, before cupping the firm mounds of his arse.

His bright azure eyes instantly flashed open to regard me, as he pulled out of the kiss to smirk.

"You're unbelievable," he chuckled, as I then also leant up to press a kiss to his jaw, before he suddenly winced, as I kneaded his arse. "Ouch!"

"Seriously, Matt?"

"What? Have you forgotten the huge bruise you inflicted me with?" he scoffed, affronted.

"Oh, shit, sorry," I apologised, settling with just cupping his butt cheeks. "Thought you were gonna go on about having a sore arse again from being fucked, but surely you're more used to it now?"

"Erm, well, now that you mention it..." I knew he was being serious, but I could also still see the way his mouth quivered, trying to keep back a smile.

"But it's more of a nice kinda burn now, isn't it?" I asked with victorious grin, taking in the way his cheeks ever so slightly flushed as he nodded. "Good, means you're getting the hang of things. Now come here, sexy boy."

We then snogged for a good 15 minutes straight, before we heard Matt's intercom go off, his taxi having arrived to finally take him off to the airport and out of my arms.

"Fuck," I couldn't help but swear. I wished he didn't have to go tonight, or tomorrow night, or even any of the other nights after that. I was being selfish, I know, but I just wanted to keep him safe and to myself.

"Dom, it'll be fine," he tried to reassure me, cupping my face with one of his hands, before giving me a tender peck and then getting up.

"Yeah, so you say. Either way, I'm gonna miss you like mad," I sighed, sitting up as I watched him grab his leather jacket from the other sofa and shrug it on. I then got to my feet and walked over to help smooth down his overgrown hair, which hung well past his ears now.

"Just a month, Dom," he replied, picking up his laptop case and ducking under the strap so it could sit on his opposite side's shoulder.

"And two days," I was quick to remind him, before he sighed and pulled me into his arms.

"Take care, Dom. Also, please don't trash my apartment, I'm trusting you here with my keys," he said, slipping them into my back pocket as we held each other.

"'Course and relax, Matt. I wouldn't dream of it."

He then let go and went to pull the handle of his roller suitcase up, and I couldn't help but reach out and brush some of that messy, dark hair which had fallen back in his face, behind his ear.

"You're obsessed with my hair," he pointed out, both of us lingering, unwilling, by the front door.

"Ha! Rich coming from you! You practically made me cut mine, when it wasn't even nearly as long as yours is now! You should've probably cut it before the trip. Lord knows you most likely won't cut it there; it'll be so long when you get back!"

"Hmm," he smiled back cheekily, "just means there'll be more for you to pull on when I come back home and fuck you raw."

"Ooh, saucy," I laughed, only really now trying to hold back from showing any of the emotion I was suddenly being flooded with.

I couldn't believe this moment had finally come. It was time for him to go and leave me alone, worrying sick.

Just then, the intercom went again and Matt smiled back, his expression somewhat regretful if I'm not mistaken, before he leaned forward and gave me one last tender kiss goodbye.

"See you in a month's time, Howard," he then said in parting and opened the door.

"And two days," I added again with a sad smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, remember, I'll hopefully get to ring you a few times by satellite phone, so this is not the last you'll hear from me until then," he assured me.

"Love you," I then called as I waved and he headed down the stairs and off on his adventure, leaving me behind in his suddenly very lonely apartment.

With a sad sigh, I then locked up and turned off the lights, in no mood to stay up late, and went straight to his room. I then discarded my clothing and shoes and climbed into his massive bed, where I curled up in the sheets, which still smelt of him and, hugging onto his pillow, found uneasy sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

"...so as you can see, the Kenyan troops are staying despite the resent attack in Mpeketoni –  a Kenyan coastal town in which the militants attacked a police station and hotels, leaving at least 48 people dead - the government says that they won't let the..." 

I couldn't help from zoning out on what Matthew was saying, the relief with actually getting to see him, despite it only being just over a day or so ago when he left, was immense. I hadn't spoken to him since saying goodbye and now to be speaking to him, even if it was because of work, was brilliant. It was good to see he was still in one piece and thankfully he'd soon be leaving; if only to go on those dreaded fishing vessels for his story.

So, knowing it would be a heck of a long time - well for me - till I saw him again, I just tried to take him in.

Fuck he was sexy.

And this time, unlike any of the previous times I'd spoken to him 'anchor to reporter', I wasn't just drooling over someone I'd never have, but over my boyfriend. He was all mine, even if most people couldn't know.

And man, did he look gorgeous, his thick overgrown mop of brown hair blowing a bit in the wind, sharp features all serious even though, now knowing him as well as I did, I could see the way his bright blue eyes were lit up with excitement for being out on the job again. There, of course, was also the small fact of him wearing a kevlar vest again...

Dammit, we'd definitely need to get one for the bedroom.

Clearly noticing that I was a bit distracted, Jess nudged me under our desk and gave me a look.

"Sorry," I mouthed, before I went back to trying to concentrate on the end of Matt's report.

"...so it will be interesting to see how things will further develop now in relations between Kenya and this unsettled land, under the mercy of Al Shabaab. This has been Matthew Bellamy reporting to you from Mogadishu, Somalia."

With a jab to the side from Jess I hastily responded, "Uh, thank you Matthew, for your insight on this, a major issue in the developing world, which is really beginning to take its toll on the rest of..."

So, thankfully, I quickly managed to recover my composure and continued to read the teleprompter and the rest of the evening news went on off as flawless as usual.

After doing the rest of our prime time slot, I'd then tried to get out of the building as quickly as I could, but still didn't quite manage to escape a few teasing looks from Tom before my escape. I could listen to his taunts another time, but right now I needed to get home and have a good wank.

Then, once I was home and had taken care of business and I'd then just turned the shower on, I heard my mobile ring. Thinking it was most likely Tom or Jess wanting to have a laugh at me, I was tempted to leave it to ring on... but then for all I knew it was an emergency, or Mum wanted to have our weekly chat. So, sighing and still bare-arse naked and ready for my shower, I turned off the water and went to pick up my phone, which was lying discarded on my bed.

"Hello?" I asked, having then seen a strange number come up that I definitely didn't know.

"Howard?"

At the sound of his familiar voice, I literally felt my heart rate pick up, as a ridiculously large smile took over my face.

"Matt?" I asked, to be sure my ears weren't playing tricks on me.

"Yeah, who else?" came a rather gruff response from him.

"Well, you can never be too sure," I grinned, laying down on the bed on my back. "Anyway, how's it going?"

"Pretty great actually, everything's been going rather smoothly, I'm currently staying at one of the Kenyan camps, before we head out to sea." Even over the line I could hear the excitement bubbling up in his voice and couldn't help feeling bad for having made him feel so guilty about going to do something he so obviously loved.

"Oh, wow, that's great. Which fishing boat are you going on first again?" I asked, doing my best to be supportive.

"The French one; it's mad, the government organises that they have military guards and everything on board because of the pirates," he explained, and I couldn't help but feel relief at that bit of knowledge.  "Anyway... how'd I do this evening? You know, with my report and all."

"Great, as always," I chuckled, hearing the playful edge which had entered his voice.

"Yeah? I look good?" he continued in the same voice, with a chuckle of his own.

"Obviously, you always do, you sexy little bastard," I admitted, my mind quickly pulling up the memory of him standing there with the setting sun in the background, looking too damn good for his own good.

"Ah, and the vest? I seem to recall you mentioning you being rather fond of me in a kevlar vest," he continued, his playful voice going low and sexy, a clear hint of cocky pride showing through.

"You alone right now?" I couldn't help asking before I answered his taunt.

"Yup, hence I'm giving you a call. Glen, my camera guy, is out by the fire with some of the soldiers."

"Oh, well, then... Yeah, the vest was definitely a lovely addition. In fact, it actually kinda got me thinking... we should get one, you know, for the bedroom?"

"What? Oh my God, do you even know how much those things cost, and then just so we can have it for the occasional kinky fuck," he laughed loudly through the line.

"Hey, it'd be worth it," I laughed back. "After seeing you I was all hot and bothered and Jess even had to literally knock me under the table to get me to concentrate."

"Yeah?" he asked, that cocky hint of pride definitely there.

"Yeah. And then I had to practically rush home as soon as our slot was over, so I could go have a good wank. In fact you just caught me about to hop in the shower to clean off," I grinned then when I could her his breathing audibly hitch.

"Y-you did? And, wait... does that mean you're naked right now?"

"Yup, not a stitch on me," I affirmed, grinning away as I looked down my long, lean body, skin bronzed and toned, and by the way I heard him swallow through the line, he was clearly trying to picture it for himself now.

"Fuck, Dom. You're making me hard, wish I could've given you a hand," he finally replied gruffly.

"Well... I could still always help you out now, even if you are thousands of miles away..."

"You saying you wanna have phone sex, now, over satellite phone?" he asked, his voice most definitely that familiar husky tone of arousal of his.

"Hmm, it'd be fun, wouldn't it?"

"Definitely, shit, Dom. You have no idea how much I wanna jus--" But I didn't get to hear the rest of what he wanted to say, or have that phone sex, as he broke off to speak away from the phone, clearly to someone else who'd just entered the room. I couldn't exactly hear what he was saying, just the suddenly distant hum of his voice and another in the background. When he did eventually speak into the phone it was with a sigh. "Sorry, that was Glen, says they're 'missing' me out there and I gotta go. Managed to make him leave ahead of me, so I could wrap up the call to my 'dad'."

"You lied?" I laughed, incredulous, yet disappointed that he had to go.

"Well I could hardly say I was gonna have to cancel phone sex with my secret boyfriend!" he pointed out with one of his mad high-pitched laughs, which made me smile. "So, now I've gotta try calm down and wish this hard-on away. Thanks for that."

"S'a pleasure," I grinned, before sighing. "Well I guess I'll leave you to it then. Stay safe, babe."

"Yeah, you too. Cheers, love." And then the line went dead on my shocked ear, my mouth now hanging agape.

Had Matt seriously just called me 'love'?

Look, I know in most relationships that'd be no big deal, but ours was most certainly not like 'most relationships' and I had a feeling it was a really big step. Heck, it was practically further proof that he loved me!

 

                                                                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After another busy day aboard the French fishing boat, having done some interviews with some of the French soldiers assigned to guarding the ship, I'd finally found a gap to retire to my bunk, which I shared with Glen. Thankfully he was busy trying to 'soak up some sun' in the last few hours or so of the day, so I finally had some privacy as well as the satellite phone to myself.

I hadn't spoken to Dominic in over a week and couldn't stop thinking about the daft blond. So, carefully shutting and locking the door, phone in hand, I hopped up onto the top bunk where I slept and punched in the number I knew off by heart.

While waiting for him to answer I'd absent-mindedly begun to scratch at the peeling skin on my nose, having burnt quite badly at the start of the week, my pale, sensitive English skin definitely not cut out for this weather. My only possible skin tones seemingly fish belly white or bright red and burnt.

I was starting to think the absent-minded idiot might not answer, despite it being a perfectly reasonable time his side and on today, a Saturday, when thankfully he did.

"Hey, nearly missed your call," came his ever cheerful voice and I couldn't hold back the dumb smile it seemed to instantly put on my face.

"Yeah, I was beginning to think you might," I replied, trying my best to hide how pleased I was to hear his voice.

_Jesus Matthew, it's only been a week since you last spoke! Get a hold of yourself._

"Well, I'm glad I didn't. Been waiting for you to call for a while now. Missing you," he replied and I could hear some background noise filtering in from his side.

"What you up too?" I asked, pushing my pillow up against the wall so I could lie down comfortably.

"Nothing much, I'm at Tom's with Chris to watch the game. Jess and Kelly are making a late lunch or something in the kitchen - to be honest I suspect it's more of an excuse to catch up on gossip about their men - while the lads wait for the match to start."

"Yeah?" I asked, shifting about to get comfy. "What game is it? I didn't know you were so big on sport."

"Erm... I'm not really. So... haven't a clue. To be honest I don't even know whether it's gonna be a rugby or football match. Either way, there'll be fit guys in shorts," he laughed and I couldn't help but shake my head.

"Trust you," I scoffed, scratching my nose again, the skin definitely itching a lot.

"What you snuffling away for on that end? You sick?" Dom suddenly asked and I instantly stopped itching myself.

"Erm, no, no. Just, er, well my nose got burnt a couple days ago and my skin's all itchy now," I explained, feeling a touch self-conscious. I was suddenly glad we couldn't Skype. I'd seen my reflection; I looked like freaking Rudolf.

"Aww, poor, Matty," he cooed, his voice full of it.

"Shut it," I muttered, trying to resist the urge to scratch again.

"Else the whole boat thing going great?"

"Yeah, though I got seasick the first few days," I admitted, recalling how I lay in bed feeling like crap, with a bucket nearby, hence the delay in my calling him. Thank God I'd gotten over it all.

"Shit, seriously? Sounds like you're not having the best of luck, maybe you should call it a day and come home, hmm? And let me take care of you..." At the drop of his voice, I felt my cock twitch, my body responding in a way it seemed to be conditioned to when he used that low tone.

"As much as I'd love that... I've got a job to do, plus it's great. The fishermen and soldiers are all very nice. I'm even getting to dust off some of the French I learnt at school and all," I explained proudly, though I recalled a few of the blank expressions I'd received on a few of my attempts at conversing in French. Yup, I was definitely rusty.

"You can speak French? Why'd you never tell me? Oh my God, Matt! The possibilities!" Dom sounded way too excited about this small bit of information.

"Well... I wouldn't say I'm fluent or anything..." In fact I more or less could only just manage to string together a basic sentence when required.

"Oh God, Matt. That's so hot though, Jesus. Com'on, say something to me in French, babe," he coaxed, his voice back to that deep, sultry quality.

"Uh, well..."

"You're alone now I take it, yeah?" he suddenly asked.

"Er, yeah?"

"Good, I was out in the yard, but I'm off to hide in the upstairs lav. Gotta seize this opportunity. Fuck, though, French? I can't believe you kept this from me!"

"Erm... I can do a bit of Italian too," I couldn't help adding. Now that, I could speak better, but I could sadly tell Dom was after some French here.

"Jesus, Matt!" And then I could hear the sound of a door closing firmly. "Okay, hit me babe. Phone sex. Now. I want."

"Wow, Dom, over a week without any and you get really demanding," I laughed, but there was no denying the fact that his words were having an effect on my body too.

"Hush, you, get with the talking," he attempted to purr, but couldn't hold back a few giggles of his own.

"Well, er... Qu'est-ce que tu portes?"

" _Fuck,_ Matty, that's hot, even if I don't know what you said exactly..."

"I asked what you were wearing, wanker. What's the point if you don't even know what I'm saying?" I asked with a laugh, my feet lazily toeing off my shoes, kicking them off my bunk.

"'Cause, I don't know, it's sexy to hear. As for what I'm wearing... just a pair of black skinnies and a tee - you know that white one with all the different animal print? - and my pair of black converse."

"That's exciting," I scoffed sarcastically, fingers brushing my long, damp fringe off my sweaty forehead, the temperatures definitely more than I was used to.

"I'll have you know my arse looks great in these jeans, never mind my legs. And anyway, I'm over at my mates' to watch a match of whatever sport, I was hardly going to wear a fucking thong and that purple corset - which, by the way, I know is still floating about in one of your closets," he shot back, the imagery coming to mind thanks to him definitely resulting in my cock hardening some more.

"Hey, Caitlin never wanted it back and I thought you may wanna re-indulge," I defended myself. "Though, this talk of a thong? May need to get you one... It'd be like those Union Jack briefs, but potentially better..." At that, I couldn't help the satisfied gasp which escaped my mouth, as my hand moved to apply some much needed pressure to the swelling in my shorts.

"The thought of me in a thong, seriously, Matt? That gets you off?" Despite his attempts at sounding indignant, I could still hear the waver in his voice and the way he swallowed. "W-what are _you_ even wearing, anyway."

"A t-shirt and shorts," was my simple response, ever so slightly panted out as I'd moved the phone to be supported by my shoulder, so my hands could both undo my fly, easing the uncomfortable pressure.

"You're one to judge! Yours is hardly better and at least I was more descriptive!" he complained, but I could hear his own voice was also getting less steady. "Actually, you know, I don't think I've ever seen you in shorts before. How weird's that?" Typical Howard, getting distracted by inane shit.

"It doesn't matter, I'm not gonna be wearing them for much longer, in fact--" I broke off to shove my shorts down my thighs, along with my boxers, my cock happily jumping up; freed. "Fuck I'm hard..." I hadn't realised I'd said the last bit aloud until I heard him moan on his end.

"Wish I could see," he groaned, clearly in a similar position to me, my fingers curling around the thick shaft of my cock. "Could feel. Taste..."

"Oh, God, Dom. What I wouldn't give to have you suck me off right now," I panted, slicking myself with some of the pre-come already oozing, before I began to pump myself. "Heck, to suck you off. Fuck that gloriously tight little arse of yours."

"B-but I'd have to wear th-that thong first, wouldn't I?" he teased breathily, clearly unable to help himself.

"'Course," I grinned, before moaning as I dragged the tip of my thumb through my slit.

 

                                                                                         ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 _"Oh-oh, God, y-yeah, and then?"_ the muffled sound of my voice could be heard moaning and I felt myself blush to my roots. _"Oh, y-yeah, babe... Yeah, I'd r-ride you just like that... Fuck, nee-need you t-to come--"_

"What the fuck?! I can't believe you recorded that!! Jesus, Jess, what kind of sick, voyeuristic freak are you?!" I demanded, grabbing Jess' mobile from her to turn the recording off, thankful that she'd had the decency to at least shut and lock my office door before playing it to me.

"Hey, I've only played this to you; just wanted to show you how damn noisy you are, you should really be more careful," she laughed, shaking her head, clearly unrepentant. "I'd gone upstairs to go use my bedroom's en suite, when imagine my surprise when I find the door's locked and this was what I could hear!"

"And so what, your first instinct was to record it?!" I demanded. Jess and I shared _everything_ , but not quite like this, I'd had no idea she'd been privy to what I'd been up to.

"Com'on, Dom. It's kinda funny, you gotta admit. Plus that's my bathroom you were busy wanking off in. Don't worry, though, your secret's safe with me, Lord knows Tom would've recorded it and then played it for everyone and never let you forget about it," she pointed out.

"Yeah, kinda like you're doing now?" I shot back, crossing my arms as I lent against my desk.

"Oi, I've only played it for you! Come on, Dommy, don't be mad. I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you," she pouted, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"How do I know you haven't shown Tom, or at least told him?" I asked as sternly as I could, even though I could already feel my defences falling.

"'Cause he'd have brought it up with you by now and be ripping you off non-stop..."

"Ah, true... Ugh, fine, okay, but you better delete that shit. I swear, if anyone else ever finds out!"

"No one will. Promise," she assured me, before pointedly showing me as she deleted the recording.

"Yeah, let's hope not..."  I sighed, before shaking my head. "You're mad, I swear, Jessica Brown."

"As are you, Dominic Howard, and that's why this friendship works," she wiggled her eyebrows before pulling me into a quick hug. "Besides, you gotta admit it was at least a little funny? I had such a fright! And then the biggest giggle fit, but you were so caught up in your own little world you didn't hear a thing! You have no idea how hard it was to keep a straight face when you came to join the rest of us a little later looking slightly dishevelled."

"Ugh, Jess!" I blushed fiercely, embarrassed.

"Hey, it's not like I didn't know you and Matthew weren't fucking; just cute to know you're keeping your sex life alive and active, even if it can only be via phone calls, while he's away," she grinned, ruffling my hair.

"Hey, you can't expect us to get blue balls while he's away. Lord knows Matt'd probably not last long without any relief; the guy's a big ball of sexual energy if ever there was one. Why, the day before he left, he was on top form. We were fucking, but he didn't let me come, instead he went on to rim--"

"Okay, okay!! Enough, Dom! I love you, really I do, but TMI! I do not need to hear about Matt sticking his tongue anywhere other than in his own mouth," Jess was quick to stop me, making me grin victoriously.

"Oh, really? But you listened at the door - recorded it even - while he told me all about how he'd use that gloriously clever tongue on me," I laughed, only to be shoved playfully.

"I feel violated."

"Good, that makes two of us," I winked, wacking her on the butt before moving to go sit down in front of my laptop. "Next time walk away, don't even listen for a second longer."

"Sure, as long as next time isn't in my house," she shot right back with a wink of her own, before she let herself out.

Oh brother, if only Matt had known, he'd have gone ballistic! It would definitely be best to keep this between Jess and I...


	32. Chapter 32

"Hello?" I asked, though I'd already seen the strange number I knew could only be my boyfriend. 

"Hey, love," Matthew's warm, seductive voice greeted me, filling me with warm happiness. The fact that he'd unconsciously begun to call me love lately, had my smile growing wider every time he said it and my heart soar all the more.

"Oh, babe. I've been expecting you to call, it's been four days since we last spoke," I grumbled down the line, though, just the relief from having heard his voice again had already begun to ease the anxiety his absence brought me.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I've since moved onto the Spanish ship, the contrast to my experience with the French is startling..." he said, trying to ignore the issue at hand, clearly not wanting to argue in these few precious minutes we had. Hey, he'd at least apologised, the man's really come along in leaps and bounds.

"Oh, yeah, why's that?" I asked, genuinely curious and actually glad that we'd avoided the opportunity to snap at one another. I just wanted to speak to my man and make the most of it.

" _Well_ ," he began and I took comfort in the fact that he certainly still sounded in high spirits despite the long length of time at sea and being away from home and all his friends, with only his crew of one cameraman and himself.

Friends... Did Matt even really have many of them? He worked hard and whenever he had free time he spent it with me. Aside from Morgan... I didn't really know of any of the others, but then how could I? None of them knew (or could know) about us even being a couple. 

"The major difference would be that the Spanish don't have an armed guard. The crew are really nice though, they're all super friendly, but..."

As he continued to go on about his stay on the new ship and what he'd been up to, I found myself concentrating more on the familiar and missed hum of his voice and not so much the content of what he was actually saying. I missed the grumpy little bastard dearly and even though there was now less than two weeks until we could be reunited, it still felt too far away.

"Dom?!" His voice sounded annoyed and like he'd probably been calling me for a bit before I'd finally touched back down and heard him.

"Sorry, babe. I didn't mean to zone out on you," I apologised, feeling guilty that I hadn't been paying proper attention to something that was so obviously important to him. But hey, it had been thoughts of him that had distracted me; two things having become suddenly very clear to me.

I wanted more from our relationship, I wanted to meet his friends and the rest of his family, have dinner with him and his father. The whole world didn't have to know, but surely he could trust his friends to keep the details to themselves like my own do? I love him and I know he loves me too, so I think it's time we had a talk when he got back.

The next was that we should just do the obvious already and move in together. When he'd still been around we spent practically every night together at either one of our houses. Knowing him, if I ever even managed to convince the stubborn bastard into agreeing, I'd have to be the one that would have to move into _his_ house.

Oh, well, I thought, looking around his apartment, it was a really nice loft, definitely larger than my own. I'd stopped by to fetch some of my clothes, which had gravitated to his wardrobe over the months and to also make sure his 'pet' fern in the entrance hall and the bonsai in his living room were watered; one of my little chores he'd given me.

"Dom? What's wrong with you, you keep drifting," his grumbling got my attention back and again I apologised, collapsing down on his huge bed. "Okay, then, if I'm so boring, what's up?" he snapped, irritated. The man's fuse really was incredibly short.

"Relax, Matt, I said I was sorry, okay? I'm just a bit distracted and there's nothing for you to be annoyed with, 'cause it's all got to do with you," I explained, rolling onto my stomach.

"If anything, that just makes me more wary..."

"Well... I've just been thinking..."

"Still not liking where this is going..."

"Matt! Just gimme a break here and let me voice something, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it, Howard."

"Okay, well, I've been thinking... when you get back, that we should just, you know, move in together? I mean, at this point one of us is just wasting money on rent, it's not like we don't practically live together already," I continued, picking at a loose thread on the pillowcase in front of me.

"You're kidding right?"

"No, Matt, not at all."

"Well then it'll be completely obvious that–"

"Matt," I interrupted before he could come up with some irrelevant excuse, "as I already said, we already practically live together, so it would pretty much just be the same really."

"Dominic," he whined, clearly not wanting to fight, but also still not wanting to give in to my wish.

"Matthew," I whined right back.

"Okay, okay. Fine. We can discuss further on the issue when I get back home," he sighed, and I smirked knowing I'd definitely manage to woozle getting my way if he'd already caved in to talking about it so easily. Plus he was easy to placate in person...

"Fair enough," I said unable to keep the smile from my face or voice.

"Ugh, Howard, don't sound so chuffed with yourself."

"I do not," I disagreed, but laughed nonetheless and thankfully the rest of our fairly brief conversation went smoothly and I just found myself missing him all the more when I finally put down the phone.

                                                                                                                 ***

"How's it been going with your loverboy, Dom?" Tom asked over drinks after work, a few days later. Him, Jess, Chris and I having picked back up an old tradition amongst us on a Friday night.

"Yeah, now that I know what you were getting up to on Friday nights, I may as well know _how_ Bellamy could be worth more than drinks with us lot," Chris laughed, before taking a large gulp of his pint. Having realised that it was unfair not to inform Chris of things, considering the fact that he was the only one not in the loop, so often got left out of things, I'd sat him down and confessed to him, after making him swear secrecy.

Of course now I receive twice as much ribbing for my secret relationship with Matthew.

"It's alright, obviously I miss him... but we speak as often as we can and," I glared at Jess so to stop her from saying anything about certain things she'd overheard, "there's less than two weeks until he's back home. I just can't wait to have him back safe and sound."

"I can imagine, Lord knows I wouldn't let Tom go off there, leaving me to wait anxiously back home alone," Jess said, squeezing the man in question's hand on the tabletop.

"Jess, did you just imply that I was the woman of the relationship?!" I gasped incredulously.

The three of them just looked back at me, Tom even raising an eyebrow.

"Oh my God! We're both men! Jesus, and I call you people my friends! I am so not the woman!" I objected, but then they just burst into giggles.

"Relax, Dom. No need to get so worked up," Tom laughed, as Chris clapped me on the back, the two of us sitting opposite the 'happy couple'.

"Oh, Dommy, you're so cute," Jess smiled, reaching over to squeeze my hand this time. "And I did not imply that necessarily..."

Friends, they can drive you loony, I swear.

                                                                                  ***

“I so can’t wait to go get a coffee after this, been craving one since we got on set,” I muttered to Jess, as we waited for the interview clip between one of our reporters and a local shop owner, discussing her fast becoming well-known restaurant, to play out.

“Oh you and me both, I could kill for one. Plus I’m exhausted,” Jess agreed.

“Well we can go to a nearby café after this prime time slot and you can tell me all about it. I have no doubt your exhaustion has something to do with dear Thomas,” I smiled knowingly at her.

“Oh and how would you know?” she asked coyly, a smirk curling her pouty lips.

“Isn’t it always?”

“You got me there, Howard,” she giggled.

Before we could say anymore about the topic, I heard Andy – the bloke who’d taken over Matthew’s position here while he was away – speaking suddenly into my earpiece, announcing that we had some urgent breaking news. My first thought was ‘thank God, we can stop listening to this inane shit; there’s something worth reporting on at last’, as Jess and I quickly straightened up and turned to the teleprompter and Tom’s camera, our studio feed fast coming back on line.

Chris gave the signal, first calling “Five… four… three…” before mouthing down the rest of the countdown, indicating that we were on air.

Quickly clearing my throat, I began to read off the teleprompter, the words scanning past quickly. “Sorry about the interruption, but we’ve just received some breaking news. A Spanish shipping vessel working off the Somalian coast, has just been reported to have been seized by a group of pirates, whose intentions towards the ves…”

It seemed to happen slowly at first and then hit me suddenly, my mouth reading out the words faster than my own brain managed to digest the content of what exactly I was actually saying. I couldn’t get my mouth to move then, though, as the news began to sink in, the words on the screen still scrolling and being digested by my mind, although it refused to believe that any of it was true; that my worst fear and anxiety was actually realising itself.

Thankfully, Jess’ mind wasn’t shutting off like my own was, and she was quick on her feet, hastily cutting right in and saving my arse.

“The vessel reportedly went missing near the…”

I tried to hear her out, maintain some semblance of a professional air, but all I could do was sit there, hoping, praying, that by some miracle Matthew actually wasn’t on _that_ ship. Maybe it was another one. These companies had more than one working at a time, so perhaps… But I knew it was his boat, in my heart of hearts; this was indeed my nightmare playing out and in an even worse manner than I’d always imagined.

“…amongst the hostages are two of Sky News’ own, reporter Matthew Bellamy and cameraman Glen Rowe, who were in the process of documenting life aboard the…”

There it was, the expected and dreaded confirmation, amazingly having managed to filter in through to me, despite the meltdown I was experiencing. I had said he shouldn’t go on this trip. I had warned him. I had begged him. Oh my God, he must be so scared. Is he okay? Is he hurt? How long would they take him for? Would they let him go? Would I ever even get to see him again?! What was the last thing I even said to him?! Would it remain the last thing I’d ever get to say to him?!!

My head was a mess of all kinds of worries, concerns and questions, my chest and throat were tightening, making it increasingly harder to breathe. My eyes were beginning to burn, threatening to unleash the panic and fear quickly building within me. I wanted out of here. I needed it. I needed it badly. Needed to be alone. To get away.

My eyes began darting around the place, instinctively looking for which exit would be best; they then shot to one of the screens in the studio, showing what the viewers at home would be watching. Big mistake. It had two pictures up, one of Matt and the other of Glen, with information and the heading “English reports amongst the hostages on the kidnapped fishing vessel”.

It was too much; I couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck professionalism. Fuck my job. Fuck this place.

With shaking hands, I yanked off my mic, pulled out my earpiece, completely blocking out Jess and everyone else’s shocked expressions, as I got up and stumbled my way out of there, pushing aside anyone who was brave enough to try stop me or ask what the hell I was doing.

Jess would have to manage doing the rest of prime time; I couldn’t sit there any longer. She’s talented and more than capable. I just hoped she’d forgive me for dumping it all on her. I just… I couldn’t be there any longer.


	33. Chapter 33

“Nicky, can I get you anything, sweetie?”

“No, thank you, Mum,” I shook my head, sighing as I turned straight back to watching the telly and jumping between all the different news channels, hoping for an update on anything to do with Matthew. It had become an obsessive habit of mine in recent days.

“Sweetie, you can’t just sit here all day watching for a sign of him. It’s not healthy and I’m worried about you, Nicky,” she said, voice full of concern, as she moved to sit down next to me on the large leather couch, the couch which held so many memories of him and I.

“Dom, your mum’s right, you’re worrying us to see you locking yourself up in here all day,” Jess agreed from where she was perched on the arm of the couch next to me.

She’d called my mum to come over a couple days after the disastrous broadcast, when my whole world had come crashing down on me, the both of them terribly worried about me. After that prime time broadcast, Mum had called to check on me, awfully concerned, even my father had been worried and wanted to talk to me. So naturally it didn’t take much for Jess to convince her to come over, Dad had wanted to come too, but someone had to look after our small family farm and all the animals. Even Beth and Sean had called, concerned.

I hated to have to worry them all, but I couldn’t help it. I’d never felt so distraught in all my life. I couldn’t sleep at night because I’d lay awake in bed, worrying about Matthew; worrying if he was safe, terrified to shut my eyes in case he was suffering, while I was allowed to sleep in a soft comfy bed.

Naturally the next step had been me practically moving full time into his apartment, desperate to feel as close to the man as possible.

“I’m sorry, but… that’s just it, _I_ am worried too. Just not about me though,” was all I could say in response, settling to just stare blankly at whatever Sky News was spewing out.

“Dom, when was the last time you went outside? When was the last time you even ate? By doing these things you’re not helping Matthew’s case, you know? From what I know of the man, he’d also just be pissed off with you for being like this,” Jess tried to reason, the concern in her voice filtering through to me, even though my eyes were glued to Matt’s giant flat screen. “Mr. Bellamy gave you time off, but not to sit around like a mushroom, all cooped up in the dark.”

A day or so after everything had blown up; I’d managed to pull it together enough to ring up Ian Bellamy; to sympathise about Matthew and apologise about my embarrassing display on live television, as well as to explain my absence from work. Id been refusing to even answer anyone’s calls, aside from my family’s (Jess of course counted as such), so I was almost certain I’d be losing my job.

Instead, though, Matthew’s father had told me to take as much time off as I needed, but that he’d have to explain – at least to the other higher ups – about mine and Matthew’s relationship. At this point in time I couldn’t care less, so had given him my permission, as ridiculous as that sounds. He’d then also promised to keep me updated on everything; he was in contact with the government, who in turn were in talks with the Spanish government and the pirates, who were demanding a tremendously large sum of money for the return of the fishing vessel and everyone aboard it.

Of course the government were sticking to their no negotiations with terrorists policy, even with Mr. Bellamy’s influential standing, they refused to meet the demands. As a result, I can only imagine the state Mr. Bellamy must be in, if my own is anything to compare. I’m a nervous wreck, but at least I know, for now, that Matthew is still alive. His condition, however, could be anyone’s guess.

“Jess, leave it. I’m all right. I’m doing what I need to do. Please stop worrying about me, both of you,” I asked of them, the tone of my voice showing that I was done talking.

It was small wonder then when the next thing I heard was Jess sighing frustratedly, before she got up and excused herself, saying she needed to go home and get ready for work.

                                                                                                   ***

“Nicky, when was the last time you changed these bed sheets, dear?” Mum asked, as she walked into the living room, prompting me to turn around and see that her arms were full of Matthew’s duvet.

“No, leave those!” Suddenly I was on my feet and attempting to free her arms of the duvet.

“Dominic! What are you doing? You can’t keep sleeping in filthy sheets, they need to be washed, dear,” she tried to reason, saying what I knew to be true, but what I couldn’t bare of thinking to do.

“No, Mum. I can’t,” I whined, admittedly still childishly trying to pull the bedding from her grasp, but she wasn’t having any of it. “Please, Mum.”

“Dominic, you’re worrying me. This is really not healthy behavior, nor hygienic,” she tried to reason some more, but I couldn’t bring myself to let go.

“But I can’t, they’re my closest link to him… What if I never get to see him again? Hold him again? This is all I have. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t…” And suddenly hot tears were rolling down my face, the first I’d finally managed to shed, as I found myself collapsing down onto my knees, my hands still clutching at the blue duvet.

“Nicky,” I could hear my mum sigh sadly, as she bent down to pull me into her arms. “I’m so sorry this all happened, but you must try to stay positive. Matthew’s a strong young man; you must have some faith that he’s okay. I wish I could say that he will come back and that everything will be okay, but I don’t know for sure. We can only stay positive and hope.”

I could only bring myself to nod, my body crumbling in her embrace as I leaned into her like I was a small child all over again.

“I’m so worried about him. I miss him so much.” My words were muffled against her jersey, as she just held me close and rubbed my back.

“I know, Nicky, I know, but keeping these sheets isn’t going to help him and I doubt you can even smell him on them anymore, can you?” she said, prompting me to pull back and look at her, a sad smile on her face. She really knew me too well.

I just shook my head sadly and allowed her to pull me in close again. She was right; the sheets all smelt like me now, Matthew’s scent having faded and disappeared a while ago already now.

After all he’d been gone for just over seven weeks now and I’d moved in three weeks ago. Admittedly, I knew it to be rather a bit gross to be sleeping in such old sheets, but I couldn’t help myself. To be honest, though, they mainly smelt of old cigarette smoke now, which had rubbed off from me, my habit spiraling a bit out of control now with all the stress. I actually wonder if it wasn’t for my pack-a-day habit, if I’d ever even manage to leave the house at all.

“Here, sweetie, why don’t I wash them for you, okay? Then I’ll cook us something nice to eat and you’ll eat it all, there’s no point to you punishing yourself for everything like this. Maybe you’ll even feel a little better with something in your belly, after a warm shower and then some nice, clean bedding to sleep in.”

Wanting to be a more gracious son, I just nodded my acquiescence and let her get her way. I could see she was suffering too, she’d always said she hated to see her children upset, so I can only imagine what she too must be feeling about this whole thing. I needed to make it easier for her, she didn’t need to be here; she was just here because she was worried about me.

The same went for Jess, Tom and Chris, the three of them making a point to check on how I was coping, even taking turns to pop in when they could. I had an amazing support system; I just needed to show them how much they meant to me better.

                                                                                               ***

Weeks went by, dragging painfully slowly, yet there was still not much word on Matthew, aside from the fact that he and the ship, along with the rest of its crew and Glen, remained hostages.

Feeling guilty and useless about having skived off work for those initial three weeks, I’d returned, going through the motions robotically, doing just enough to insure I filled the requirements that my job entailed and to ease a bit of my friends and family’s concern.

I’d eventually also managed to convince my mother to go back home, worried that I was wasting her time and not wanting my father to be all alone any longer. She had a life too; I didn’t want her to neglect it in order to care for me, when at the end of the day it wasn’t even really me suffering, but rather Matthew.

As should have been expected, word managed to leak among the people in the office, about Matthew and my secret relationship, before eventually the media caught hold of it. Naturally it made for an exciting story amongst the press, my little episode when I’d broadcasted that night the vessel was taken went viral; ours suddenly a heartbreaking love story, not to mention the tantalising factor of Matt’s mixed sexuality.

Personally I didn’t give a shit that the people in the office knew, I appreciated those who came up to me to sympathise, but I’d have just preferred it if everyone would stop acting like they were walking on eggshells around me. It unsettled me and certainly just made my attempts at trying to continue a somewhat normal work life all the more difficult. And then there was also the tabloids and paparazzi to deal with, snapping arbitrary pictures of me whenever I was out and about.

To be honest, I found it a struggle to get up in the mornings after yet another sleepless night and then have to put on a mask and pretend that it didn’t feel like my heart was breaking all the more with every day that went by. But I had to do it. I had to keep at it and keep the hope alive, no matter how much I just wanted to hide and mope around; my mum was right, doing so wouldn’t make things better. I had to just keep going.

Some days I would just crumble though, the helplessness I felt piling up on me, just too much to handle. On those days, I would pull on one of Matt’s tees or jumpers and curl up on his bed, before going through those pictures on my phone, the ones we’d taken the day he’d left. I’d cry until the tears stopped coming or I finally found sleep, whichever came first.

“Yes, Mum, I’m eating… yeah? Okay, I’ll tell her you say so… Yeah, I’m just gonna watch a bit of telly and then go to bed… Okay, will do. G’night, Mum… yeah, love you too.” Finishing my, now nightly, call from my mum, I put down the phone and collapsed down on Matt’s expensive, Italian leather couch.

Closing my tired eyes, I could just see his face now if he knew I’d taken up residence in his apartment, without even asking for his permission. There’d be a shitton of shouting and eye rolling, mixed together with some truly colourful language. I was surprised then when a felt a slight pull on the corners of my mouth.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled, when it wasn’t something fake I’d just plastered on my face for the benefit of others. Of course I smiled almost every day when I anchored, but they were never the real thing.                                                                       

Sighing, I shifted a bit on the couch, the rich smell of the expensive leather filling my nose, as I spread my hands open to feel the smooth material beneath my fingers. I sensed my tired mind then drifting, remembering that night, which felt like years ago, when I’d come over to find a shirtless Matt, fresh from the shower, to surprise him with the results of our STI tests.

Shit, what I wouldn’t give to have that night back. I’d hold him close and never let him go (I’d also stop him from bashing his head on the table, of course).

The kissing had been so hot and glorious when we’d then both discovered we were clean. Things had heated up so quickly, as they always seemed to between us… My eyes tightly shut, I tried to remember how it had felt, this odd sense of nostalgia which had come from nowhere, filling me with an inkling of hope and warmth, instead of the regret, heartache and sadness that usually flooded me when I let my mind drift to memories of time spent with Matthew.

I felt so alone without him, despite the obvious care and concern my friends and family showed me through this hard time, my heart and being pined for Matthew. If I had ever doubted my love for the stubborn arse of a man, I certainly knew it was real now. I’d never experienced anything close to this kind of emotional pain before.

I’d been having a particularly bad day today, so this sudden lightness I felt surrounding me, as my mind swam with memories of that night and then shifted into other – equally less than innocent – memories associated with this couch, I was definitely taken me by surprise. The shock I then felt as my lately neglected and ignored cock twitched, had my eyes snapping open and darting south in disbelief.

I was just about to reach a hand down there in my surprise, when suddenly I heard a loud knock at the front door. A glance to my watch indicated that it was rather late already, which made sense considering I’d done the prime time shift this evening, before being dragged to – now enforced – Friday drinks and dinner (my friends’ concern for me truly genuine, however insistent) and then come home and spoken to my mother in the meantime.

Curious, I got up to go and see whom it could be, another knock landing on the door before I unlocked and opened it, to find Mr. Bellamy standing before me.

“Sir?” I asked in surprise, curious as to why he was there, my stomach churning in confusion at the likely possibility his presence had something to do with Matthew, the question was whether it was to deliver something good or bad.

“May I come in, Dominic? I wish to speak with you, but figured it would be better to do so in person.”

“Um, yeah, sure,” I nodded, stepping aside, my cheeks flushing some with embarrassment; both at the fact that I’d just been having dirty thoughts about his son and the fact I felt sheepish about having taken over Matt’s apartment. “Uh, if I may ask, Mr. Bellamy, sir, how did you know where to find me?”

“I assumed you may be here, Matthew told me that he’d given you his keys before he left,” Mr. Bellamy answered, moving to sit on the armchair in the living room, as I closed and relocked the door, before going to sit on the opposite couch once more.

“He did?” I asked, curious, Matthew not being one to usually share information like that with his father. My curiosity was now only piqued even more, as I found myself wondering what else Matt had shared with his father since Mr. Bellamy had been accidentally enlightened on our relationship.

“Unusual of him to share such detail with me, I know. But nevertheless, he did…”

Suddenly remembering myself then, I made to offer him something to drink, but he said he was fine.

“Anyway, Dominic, I came here for a reason. I have some news I thought best to share with you, what with your and Matthew’s, uh… _relationship_ and all,” he coughed into his fist awkwardly, a very light blush spreading along his sharp cheekbones. The poor man was clearly still a bit tongue-tied when it came to the fact his only son was involved with another man. I was just eternally grateful he’d taken it all as well as he was and had kept good on his word to keep me informed.

“Yes, sir, what is it?” I asked, cringing a bit when my voice gave away my anxiety to know what he had come over to tell me. I just desperately hoped, with every fiber of my being that it wasn’t bad news, but rather the hope I’d been waiting for, for what felt like forever.

“Please, Dominic, call me Ian, we’re not in a work environment and you are, after all, my son’s… b- _boyfriend_ ,” he said with a tight smile, but I could see the genuine kindness in those (quite frankly, painfully) familiar blue eyes.

“Of course, si-Ian,” I nodded back, stomach still churning nervously as I impatiently waited for him to finally just spit the news out.

“As you know, the British government refuses to deal with terrorists, for obvious – although now terribly frustrating – reasons, but, the Spanish government on the other hand, has a good deal more men on that ship and angry citizens to answer to, who want their fishermen back and for the government to act. This of course would be bad for their international affairs, but it’s seeming as though they may be willing to pay the ransom under the table, so to say… I’ve agreed to help put over some funds for this purpose too.”

“H-how do you even know all this?” was my first reaction to his news, my eyebrows pulling together.

“Well, Dominic, if you haven’t already noticed, I’m a fairly powerful man. I have connections all over, many of which are in some high places.”

I just stared back at him, mouth agape. Go Mr. Bell– uh, Ian.

“So wait, you mean–”

“Matthew may be coming home? Yes, I truly hope so. I still don’t know how long the process will take, but for once, at least it feels as though we’re getting somewhere. It’s long since time my son came home.”

I couldn’t have agreed with him any more, even if I tried. The prospect and hope which suddenly seemed so much more tangible, had me breathing a whole lot easier than I had for weeks.


	34. Chapter 34

“That dress is doing nothing for her, what was the wardrobe girl even thinking?” I muttered with a sneer and received a light slap against my arm for it.

Jess had come over for a movie night, an old habit we’d all but abandoned due to our respective romantic relationships having taken precedence in our precious spare time. Now, though, she’d demanded we have one again, saying she felt like she’d been too caught up with Tom and had been neglecting our friendship.

While I’m sure that’s part of the reason for this evening, I know she also feels like I’ve been isolating myself from everyone outside of the necessary work hours and is so enforcing her presence on me. Tom and Chris had also dragged me off to drinks after work too, no doubt all under the same pretence. They were all worried about me.

I could still only find myself worrying about Matthew though…

“Oh come on, Dom. She looks… alright,” Jess then also giggled, shaking her head. “You’re just being a grumpy bastard and taking it out on the poor girl.”

“Well can you blame me? It’s been nearly two weeks since Ian Bellamy came to speak to me and still nothing’s happened, as far as I know. But then I haven’t heard any new news since either, have I?” I couldn’t help but snap at her, before feeling heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment, for now having turned my frustration on her. “Jess, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to snap.”

“Oh, Dom, it’s okay. I understand,” she sympathised and shifted on my couch to pull me into her arms.

As per the agreements for this evening, I’d been told it should take place at my apartment – it was the first time I’d been in it in over a month – because Tom didn’t want to leave his couch and downright refused to watch a 'chick flick' marathon and Jess said Matt’s apartment made her uncomfortable – “’’Cause I just know he’d kick my arse if he knew I was lounging about in it without his consent”.  She was under the impression he rather disliked her, which I’m sure isn’t entirely true…

“It’s just so hard,” my voice sounded shaky and gave away just how close I felt to tears, even with it muffled against her shoulder. She just pulled me closer.

“I know, sweetie. You just haven’t been yourself without him. But he’ll be okay, Dom. Your Matt’s a tough cookie. Heck, if anything, I’m sure he’s been a complete nightmare for those pirates to deal with. No doubt slagging them off constantly and putting up a fuss that would scare even the most brave.”

I couldn’t help but giggle sadly at her words of comfort, the image not hard to imagine, as she chuckled along, still rubbing my back comfortingly.

“That’s true, he _is_ a difficult little bugger to deal with, even on a good day. And did you just refer to him as ‘my Matt’?” I couldn’t resist asking, with a slightly teasing quirk to my lips.

“Um, yes, that is what he is after all,” she laughingly nodded. “That man loves you so much, Dommy. It’s obvious to anyone who sees the two of you together. He also did, after all, let you drag him out to a karaoke night with all of us.”

“You really think so?” I couldn’t help asking, my insecurity showing. “He’s still yet to say so to me you know. Now what if I’ll never know whether or not he actually did love me back?”

“Oh, Dommy. Don’t even doubt it for a second. He’s crazy about you. I kinda suspect – you know, after knowing how things developed between the two of you – that he also always had a thing for you. He always was extra bitchy to you, remember?” she pointed out and I had to agree she was perhaps onto something.

“It would have been nice to hear him say it still though,” I couldn’t help mope.

“Don’t say it like that; like he still won’t get to. He will, Dom. And I bet it will be well romantic too!”

I just pushed her playfully. “Please, Jess. You should’ve heard the man when I filled his bathroom with candles for a romantic bath. Yeah, not gonna happen. You’ve just been watching too many of these chick flicks.”

“Aww, you guys have romantic baths together?” she cooed.

“Well, I’d like to think they’re romantic, but… like I said, he practically cringes at the word even. But yeah, it’s sort of become our thing, laying in the bath together. S’nice. I miss it…” She just pulled me back into her arms and kept the conversation light.

“Yeah, Tom and I never bath together, apparently I make the water the temperature of ‘molten lava’,” Jess shook her head, but she couldn’t hide the affection in her voice.

“Ew, just the thought of sharing a bath with Tom in the first place, would put me off,” I teased, pulling a tongue at her. She grinned back and laughed.

As we continued to watch the silly movies and trade banter, I could see through her and see the relief and optimism in her eyes, at the fact that I was acting more like my real self and not the depressed, withdrawn version of me I’d become. It was all a mask though, for her benefit and the fact that I could see it working just had me continuing with it, not having the heart to worry her anymore with the actual truth.

                                                                                                                      ***

 _Bzz. Bzzz. Bzzzz._  

The sudden and odd sensation of my mobile vibrating in my back trouser pocket brought me to an abrupt state of consciousness.  Momentarily disorientated, I didn’t immediately register that what had awoken me was someone trying to call me.

Instead, I found myself blinking confusedly in my suddenly too bright living room, the DVD menu of whatever chick flick Jess and I had fallen asleep watching, was blaring in an obnoxious loop, as I took note of a very much asleep Jess lying half on her side of the couch and half atop me.

_Just as bad as Matt._

My first lazy thought quickly jolted me awake, the pang of pain my heart felt at the knowledge that Matt may never do that again himself…

_Bzz. Bzzz. Bzzzz._

“Shit.” I was suddenly reminded of the fact that someone was trying to reach me. A quick glance at my watch told me it was already way past the time people usually stopped calling and when I retrieved the phone hurriedly and saw that it was Ian Bellamy trying to get hold of me, I suddenly couldn’t slide my finger fast enough to receive the call. My heart was in my throat.

“Dominic, is that you?” His voice was short and sharp and strained and I felt my anxiety elevate even more at the sound of it.

“H-hello, yes, it’s me,” I replied, struggling to speak with my suddenly dry mouth and throat.

“I assume you have already sussed that my call has something to do with Matthew? I must also apologise for the late hour and if I woke you, but I thought you might want to know as soon as possible – which is presently.” Despite the edge to his voice, he remained completely in control and formal, giving barely a thing away. What he had to tell me could be anything: good or bad.

“No, no, it’s alright, I don’t mind. I really appreciate you calling to let me know in fact,” I replied honestly, doing my best to keep my sinking stomach and ever increasing anxiety at bay. “But may I ask what it is you called to tell me?”

We couldn’t start beating around the bush, I needed to know. I needed to know _now._

“Yes, of course. The hostage situation has come to an end.”

“Yes? And is Matt alright? Is he coming home?! Is he okay?!” My heart was suddenly hammering madly in my chest, all kinds of possible scenarios – mainly negative – trying to force their way into my thoughts. I was so wound up; I’d barely registered the fact that I’d raised my voice, until Jess had begun awakening beside me groggily.

“We have him. He’s just recently been flown into the country.”

“Oh thank God,” immense relief was suddenly flooding my tired, stressed body and mind.

“Dominic…” The waver in his voice then, however, instantly made my blood spike and heart pick up its anxious pace again. “In the trade off with the pirates –the Spanish navy got involved – something went wrong and there was a skirmish and…” With every passing word, I could begin to feel my blood getting colder and colder with dread. “Matthew got caught in the crossfire.”

That’s it. He’s dead. All of this had been for nothing; all my hoping and crying and begging with whatever power there may be that he’d come out of this alright. I’d never get to stare back into those beautiful deep-blue eyes again. I’d never get to see them roll at me again either. I’d never get to hear that dorky, high-pitched laugh of his which had become music to my ears. I’d never get to hold him again. Nor kiss him. I’d now never be able to build a life with him…

The hitch in my breathing must’ve sparked something with Ian, as he then hastily continued. “No, Dominic, he’s alive. He was airlifted and rushed to hospital, here in London. He’s currently in theatre now though and has been for quite some time. I’m sorry that I’m only calling now, but with the stress of everything, it only occurred to me now to inform you.”

“Oh God. Is he okay? What’s wrong with him? What hospital?!” as I was throwing the questions – which admittedly sounded more like demands – his way, I was getting up and stuffing my bare feet into my old pair of converse near the front door, as I grabbed my coat and car keys, the whole time waving off Jess’ questions as I was trying to listen to Ian’s answers.

                                                                                                                       ***

_“All I know for now is that he was shot in the leg and that they’re trying to repair the damage and save his life.”_

In the end I’d hastily told Jess what was happening, leaving her to lock up for me, before hitting the road and now I was sat in some sterile, impersonal and cold waiting area, with Ian Bellamy’s words circling around in my mind. Upon my arrival we’d shook hands and traded tight smiles, neither saying much more, both of us too anxious.

I’d been waiting for several hours now, in the same spot, still with the same, very limited amount of information as to how Matt was doing. Ian Bellamy was sat silently beside me, right leg bouncing anxiously in a manner I recognised all too well from his son. It was a position I’d never thought I’d find myself in.

My body felt completely drained from my mind’s constant fretting, knowing just how serious gunshot wounds to the leg could be. Just because it wasn’t his chest or head, it didn’t mean he was out of the woods; a major artery could easily have gotten in the way…

I also didn’t know which leg, let alone where in the leg, he’d been shot. What if he couldn’t walk again? Matt would be crushed and–

Ugh, no, I had to stop thinking so negatively!

Just when I was beginning to think my worried thoughts were driving my sleep-deprived mind loopy, a man, whom I instantly gathered had to be one of the surgeons, approached us.

“Mr. Bellamy?” Ian shot up so fast I nearly fell off my seat.

“Yes? How is he? Did he survive the surgery?” That last question made my eyes practically bulge out of my face, the reality of its relevance something I couldn’t deny, as Ian and I stared down the poor man like a pair of crazed men – which, in a way, I guess we were.

The doctor looked hesitant to speak in front of me though, not knowing my connection to Matt.

“Don’t mind him, he’s the boyfriend. Just spit it out for God’s sake.” Ian had never sounded more like Matthew. His eyes a bit wide now himself, the surgeon nodded and explained.

“Yes, he did. We also managed to save the leg. He was extremely lucky the bullet hit him where it did and that it didn’t go any deeper; an inch more and a major artery would’ve been hit and he’d have bleed out. As it is, he was hit just above the left knee, causing his femur to partially shatter, cracking from the knee to his hipbone. We removed what we could of the bullet fragments, but I’m afraid most had to be left due to their precarious positioning. “

Poor Matt… My heart ached for him, but also swelled with the knowledge that he was still alive.

“Also, I’m afraid we discovered that his right arm’s positioning was irregular, which led us to find that his collarbone had been previously broken, yet had begun to repair itself incorrectly – no doubt due to the lack of him using a sling – so we had to go in and repair that too and set it properly with a plate and screws.”

It just seemed to be getting worse…

“His recovery will, as I’m sure you’ve realised, take some time and won’t be easy.”

                                                                                                                         ***

A while later, after I’d just popped off to use the loo – knowing Matt was stable and no longer about to die, I’d suddenly realised it had been hours since I’d last relieved myself – I got a text from Ian on my way back to where we’d been waiting, informing me Matt had been moved to ICU and he’d gone over to see him.

Excitement rushing through me, despite everything or because of it, that I’d be able to finally set my eyes on Matt again after all this time, had me practically charging off towards ICU. Much to my dismay, though, the nurses there had then only denied me entrance.

“I’m sorry, sir, but it’s immediate family only.”

So I was forced to stand outside, already a mess of emotions, annoyance and frustration now thrown in to join the rest. I just hoped Ian would be able to give me a satisfactory report back; as sad as it made me, I’d have to make peace with the fact he’d have to be my eyes and ears…

Yet more waiting later – Ian hadn’t, understandably, been checking his mobile – and he came out, a confused look on his face when he saw me standing like a moron outside the ward.

“Why didn’t you come in, Dominic? You know I wouldn’t have minded. I can tell just how worked up you are about everything.”

“I tried. Trust me I did. But the nurses won’t let me through; I’m ‘not immediate family’,” I explained, trying my best to keep my annoyance at it all from showing through. At this though, Ian’s eyebrows instantly drew together in visible irritation, before he turned on his heel and headed for the nurses in charge. Clearly he didn’t feel the same need to be discrete about it all.

Some stern, muttered conversation and an overly apologetic nursing staff later and Ian led me inside and to where Matt was.

My heart stopped when I then laid my eyes on the practically unrecognisable form of who could only be Matthew, looking tiny and broken in his hospital bed. As I stepped closer, I couldn’t quite believe that it was really him. I’d never imagined our reunion would be like this – but then I’d never imagined he’d get seriously hurt and end up in hospital either.

He was sedated still, so thankfully hadn’t had to see the absolute shock that flashed across my face at the sight of him, something Ian, however, did catch.

“I know. It doesn’t look like him, does it?”

Matt’s hair, already ridiculously long by his standards when he’d left, was pretty much shoulder length now, the greasy dark strands contrasting with the crisp white case of his pillow. His chinbeard was full too, the hair growing their messy and thick, much like that atop his head, yet still not on his cheeks, that little fact brought a sad, brief little smile to my lips. His face was gaunt; the already natural sharp angles of it, now making him look distinctly skeletal.

When I moved to tentatively touch his left wrist, it was to see that he was looking terribly skinny indeed, the bone of his wrist jutting out easily, the drip in his hand looking painful. His right arm was strapped up against his body, no doubt due to the broken collarbone he’d sustained. My eyes then drifted to the sight of his left leg, which was suspended in traction in a thick, white cast.

“Oh, Matthew.” I let my fingers gently run along the skin of his arm, my ears picking up on his once so familiar breathing, over the sound of all the other patients and machines bleeping around the large room. His skin didn't feel nearly as warm as it always did.

I didn’t care that Ian was still there, standing just a little bit away; I couldn’t not kiss him, and so I leaned forward carefully and placed a chaste kiss to a sharp cheekbone. Matthew didn’t smell like my Matthew anymore either and the sudden realisation brought forth another pang to my already straining heart.

“I’m afraid we should be leaving now, considering it’s not visiting hours and they don’t want us getting in their way here,” I heard Ian suddenly say after I’d just continued to look at Matt and stroke the uncharacteristcally cool skin of his arm for a while. It felt unfair, now that I finally had him back, I didn’t want to leave Matthew’s side, especially when he was in this condition. He looked so fragile and it went against everything in me to have to leave him alone.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I whispered as I moved to kiss his temple. Ian was right though and so with a parting, feather-light kiss to Matt’s chapped and unmoving lips, we were forced to leave.


	35. Chapter 35

My heart was beating quickly, nervously, as I made my way over to the ICU the next day, anxious to see how Matthew was doing today. I was impatient to finally get to speak to him again and wanted to reassure him of my love and support. 

It was a bit silly, but I’d even gone so far as to dress nicely for him; which included wearing my tightest pair of black skinnies – which I knew he liked the way my arse looked in. Now I just hoped he’d be looking better and not be in too much pain.

“Hi, uh, I’ve come to see Matthew Bellamy?” I informed the nurse behind the desk at the nurses’ station.

“And whom might I ask are you?” she asked, smiling politely at me.

“I’m Dominic Howard, Matt’s boyfriend? Look, I know I’m not immediate family, but Matt’s father spoke to the night shift last night and got me cleared?” I explained, hoping to avoid a repeat of last night’s events.

“Oh, you’re Dominic?” she asked, recognition suddenly sounding in her voice as she gave me a quick onceover. “And you’re Mr. Bellamy’s boyfriend?”

“Um, yeah?” I nodded, the sound of him being called by a title I knew his father as, sounding odd. He was just Matt to me, Matthew at most.

As she then nodded in understanding, the look that crossed her face had me instantly more concerned.

“Um, I’m so sorry, Mr. Howard, but Mr. Bellamy specifically requested that you not be permitted to go and see him. I’m sorry,” she informed me apologetically.

“What?! He won’t let me go and see him?!” I asked, voice admittedly raised due to me having been utterly blindsided, surely I’d just heard the woman wrong?

“I’m afraid so, sir,” she nodded, looking truly apologetic, but not helping me feel any better.

I couldn’t believe it. What the actual fuck was wrong with Matthew – aside from the obvious injuries of course – that he would deny me the opportunity to see him? Why didn’t he want to see me? Had I done something wrong? Was he angry with me? Had I upset him in some way?

My head was full of swarming questions, my heart aching. Suddenly it felt as though all the pressure of all the frustration and worry and anger and concern had grown to be too much and I could feel myself about to snap.

 

                                                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!! What do you even mean he won’t see me?! Does that mean he’s awake then, surely I can be allowed to speak to him, reason with him?! This is ridiculous!!”

I could hear Dominic yelling from just outside the ICU ward, a place I wouldn’t be much longer considering that the doctors were pleased with my condition post-op. I just had to hope now that Dom would be gone by the time they transferred me to higher care, and my own personal room.

I couldn’t wait for the private room, sharing this godforsaken ward with all these annoying people, and their noisy fucking machines was doing my head in, even through all the medication I was on. The bloke near me is surrounded by a fucking plastic bubble for God’s sake, and every time they have to give him his meds, all the tape has to be pulled and the rustling of the plastic drives me crazy. Don’t even get me started on the old bat with what sounds like fucking whooping cough, or the maddening sound of those bloody ventilators. No, I needed out.

“Mr. Bellamy, you’re awake,” one of the nurses said, suddenly popping up beside me and making me startle in surprise.

The sudden movement of course only sent even more jolts of the burning fire of pain in my leg and shoulder shooting through my nerves, which quite frankly stole my breath with the shear force of pain I was further hit with.

“Oh, gosh. You look to be in a lot of pain, here,” she said sliding a pump of sorts into my usable hand and pushing the button on it a bit, “Just press the button there for more morphine. I’m also gonna hit you up with a little something in your drip, you need to rest.” She then moved to pull a syringe out of her pocket, before proceeding to inject the drug into the drip.

“I CAN’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS!”

“Y-you won’t let him in right?” I asked, gritting my teeth against the pain, but nudging my head toward the entrance, where Dominic could still be heard arguing with the nurse in charge. My voice sounded frustratingly weak and the effort it took to do so, as well as move my head, tired me out rather a bit.

“Of course not, sir. Even if we’re still not entirely sure why you don’t want to see him. He is your boyfriend, isn’t he?” she asked, all big brown eyes and caring voice.

It was one of the first things I’d requested when I’d come to, finding myself suddenly back in England and in hospital, my head swimming with confusion and still groggy from having been obviously put under deeper with anesthetic; the last I remembered before then was a lot of blood and pain before passing out. In my hospital bed my crippled situation had become clear pretty quickly on and I wasn’t an idiot, I knew I had to look a right sight too.

Even in my drugged up and confused state, I’d known I didn’t want Dominic to see me, That he couldn’t be allowed to and, even though I’d been rather out of it and in quite a state, I could still more or less remember the freak out and breakdown I’d had begging them not to let him…

I had a better grip of myself now, but I still stood by what I’d requested. He had to stay away.

“J-just don’t… don’t let him see me,” I was beginning to feel myself already slipping away, my usual weakness to even weak meds clearly holding true, as I felt absolutely fucked on this hardcore stuff. It had taken me long enough to get a clear head earlier; the unspeakable pain the driving force for why I’d probably even managed some level of consciousness.

“We won’t.” Her voice sounded far away, as I felt my eyelids growing too heavy to keep open, the unbelievable pain I’d felt having begun to ebb…

 

                                                                                 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I can’t believe that he asked not to see you,” Jess shook her head, as she sat down on the sofa with me, handing over one of the cups of tea she held.

“Yeah and what worries and hurts me most, is that the nurse told me it was practically one of the first things he said. He apparently had a complete breakdown – crying and all – begging that I not be allowed to see him. Jess, he was _crying,_ I’ve never seen him cry; that’s so out of character for him. I mean, what does it say about our relationship that he got so upset just by the mere thought of me seeing him?”

“Maybe he’s just worried you won’t like what you see? I mean, you did say he was in a pretty bad condition, right? Also, he is a rather arrogant git, so maybe he doesn’t want to ruin his image in your eyes,” Jess suggested, before taking a tentative sip from her cup.

She did have a point…

“But why does he think I’ll view him as anything less? If anything I’m even more impressed by his strength. Jess, he nearly died.”

“I know, Dom. I’m sorry, I don’t really know what else to say to you. He must also be on a lot of meds, though, right? Also considering everything he’s now been through, put together with all that, he’s probably not just feeling himself.”

“That’s true… He has also never been any good with meds in the first place,” I nodded in agreement. “I just wish he’d let me see him. Jess, I’m so worried about him and I miss him so much. I don’t care what he looks like, I just want to be able to hold him and show him I’m here for him.”

“Aww, Dommy, I know that. Just… just give him some time. I’m sure he’ll ask for you sooner or later. Have you spoken to Mr. Bellamy yet about it though? Maybe he can speak to Matt for you? He hasn’t been barred, has he?” she suggested as I took a sip of my steaming cup of tea.

“I haven’t had a chance to actually. I should do that, you’re right. I just haven’t been thinking straight. I just need a good night’s rest and then maybe I can try sort everything out. I just wish he’d stop being so difficult,” I sighed putting down my cuppa so that I could rub my tired eyes. The past couple months of sleepless nights was finally taking its toll on me.

“Hey, I told you from the beginning that you were mad to get yourself into the relationship in the first place. But you love him, Dom, I guess this is just part of the deal. You’re one of the most kindhearted and patient men I know, he’s lucky to have you and I’m sure it’ll all sort itself out.”

“Thanks, Jess,” I smiled gratefully, “You’ve been so good to me throughout this all. I could never thank you and the guys enough.”

“Dom, you’re our friend. We’d do anything for you.”

After we finished our tea, Jess left to go get ready for our usual prime time slot, which I’d been given yet more leave from thankfully. I didn’t have the energy or heart to do it; instead I just went to bed, planning to speak to Ian Bellamy the next day about Matt.

 

                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Hey there, Matt,” Morgan greeted me as I slowly opened my eyes to find him sitting beside my bed. Blinking groggily, I realised I must have been moved to my private higher care room since I’d last been awake. A glance out the window revealed that it was a typically miserable, overcast autumn day out. I must've been out for quite some time too.

“W-what time’s it?” I asked, my voice raspy and weak, making me grimace.

“It’s just gone 10,” he replied with a glance at his watch.

I just groaned, to be honest I felt awful, groggy and sore, though my leg felt eerily numb in it’s strung up position. When I moved to rub my hands over my face, I was reminded of the fact that my right hand was strapped down and useless– the simple attempt at movement bringing instant pain– and that I also had a rather annoying and scratchy beard; I don’t think I’ve ever grown it so long. “Ugh, I needa shave.”

“Yeah, that you do,” he grinned back at me, “Can barely recognise you with all that fur. I’m sure you can ask your nurse, she’s rather fit too – you know, if you’re really also into that, er, kinda thing?” A blush pinkened his cheeks at this and I had to groan some more. Fuck, that’s right, everyone probably knew about Dominic and I and that I swung that way. Brilliant.

“Seriously, Morgan?” I asked with an annoyed sigh.

“It’s true though, isn’t it, about you and Howard?” he then asked anyway, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Why, do you have a problem with it? If you don’t like it, you can just fuck off, Morgan!” I was in no mood for this. I felt awful and the last thing I needed was for the bloke who I’d thought was more or less the closest thing I had to a friend in London, to give me shit about being with another man.

“Whoa, relax, Matt. Of course I don’t have a problem with the fact that you, er, swing that way too. I’m just hurt that you thought I would and never told me… I’m your mate, Matt, yet you didn’t feel like you could trust me, how’s that supposed to make me feel?” he asked, glaring right back at me and making me feel even more like crap.

“Ugh, Morgz, I’m… I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t tell anyone. I mean, until recently I only ever really had casual one-night stands with other blokes… It never felt necessary to tell you. Plus I just didn’t want anyone to know, I thought it’d give me hassles with work,” I admitted, my left, and only usable, hand fidgeting with a loose thread on my bedding.

“You’re an idiot, Matt. You know that, right?” he said shaking his head, but smiled sadly at me anyway. “I’ll admit though, I suspected you’d met someone – I just didn’t quite know _whom_ – ‘cause you’ve changed a lot. Heck, the fact you actually just apologised to me is evidence enough,” he laughed shaking his head.

I just rolled my eyes at him, making him laugh some more, which annoyingly enough caused the corners of my mouth to lift a tiny bit.

“So, you and Howard, eh? It’s quite serious, isn’t it? You haven’t had a steady girlfr– _partner_ in years.” I just shrugged, my eyes ducking to focus on my fidgeting fingers. “So, how long’s it been going on for then? You should’ve seen him when they announced you’d been taken, he freaked out on live TV – he was the one who had to announce the news…”

“He did?” I asked, ignoring the questions, the guilt and regret washing over me too much.

“Yup, at the time it made no sense. But sure enough, the press did what they do best and it all kinda got out…”

“Shit, poor Dom,” I murmured to myself, fingers fisting in the bedsheets. And fuck, that means literally everyone knew now, about my secret. I could just say goodbye to my job…

“Yeah, he was off work for a bit, but he came back after a while… bloke looked like he was running on autopilot…”

“Ugh, let’s… let’s just not talk about him, please?” I asked, it all getting to be too much. The guilt was frankly unbearable.

“Why, what’s up, Matt? Hasn’t he come to see you yet? He hasn’t been at work…”

“Morgz,” I warned, and he sighed.

“Okay, okay. Sheesh, with all the stuff they’ve no doubt given you, I’d’ve thought you’d be uncharacteristically pleasant for a change. What’s wrong, they not keeping you well stocked enough?” he teased, earning another eye roll.

“Trust me, they’ve got me drugged well enough up,” I assured him, my eyes then moving to focus on the little painkiller button the nurse had wrapped the cord of on the bars of my bed. Considering the flaring pain I could still feel in my shoulder, I reached out for it, having now been reminded of its existence.

“So, what exactly is wrong with you?” Morgan asked, indicating my strung up leg and strapped up arm.

“Broken leg and collarbone,” I stated, as I pressed the button twice, the action painful for my hand, which reminded me about the drip connected to it.

“No shit, Matt. I meant, what exactly’s the diagnosis?”

“Haven’t really asked yet. Just know they’re broken. Got shot in the leg and I broke the collarbone.” I didn’t want to think about how it had all happened, let alone talk about it. I never wanted to have to think about any of it; just the idea of it all had me reach out to press the button again.

“I’m sorry, looks painful,” Morgan grimaced, dropping the topic, as he must’ve been able to pick up on my obvious reluctance to talk about it. “Well, anyway, I brought you a little something,” he then said, bending to reach beside himself for something, before sitting up again to show me he was holding a shiny silver gift bag, the top of what could only be a whine bottle showing. He lifted the bottle out of the bag to show me the label. “Figured you’d want some of your favourite shiraz; you’re not exactly the sort one buys ‘get well soon’ flowers for.”

“Thanks, Morgz,” I managed to crack a smile. “You’re a good mate.”

“Damn straight I am! See, you should’ve told me about the fact that you go for blokes too; I would’ve been a great wingman for you, after all I did help you score loads of birds,” he laughed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Ugh, what am I gonna do with you?” I groaned, before yawning widely, my eyes feeling heavy again. Shit, but I’d only just woken? Dammit, it must’ve been the drugs I’d been pumping into my drip.

“You look like you needa sleep some more, so I’ll leave you to it. I’ve gotta head into work too anyway. Feel better soon, mate, I’m glad you’re back home. I’ll visit again soon, just rest, okay?” he said getting up and putting the wine in its bag on the windowsill.

“Cheers, Morgz,” I greeted back, but my eyes had by then landed on the glittery red balloon tied to the window latch. Shit, it didn’t take a genius to figure out whom that’d come from; _he_ was the only person I could think of that would get me something like that after all. Fuck, he better not have brought it in himself.

The thought then just made me feel guilty all over again, especially after what Morgan had told me about Dominic being worried about me. I just couldn’t let him see me… not yet. My fears being confirmed then as my eyes drifted to the window’s glass, which reflected my image back at me. I looked awful.

The man staring back at me looked nothing like me, all pathetic and small in his hospital bed, uselessly weak, skinny body drowning in the hideous blue hospital gown, hair overgrown and messy, not to mention greasy, a thick, dark beard and gaunt features finishing the look. I looked homeless at best. Groaning in frustration and admitted self-pity, I threw my head back into the pillows beneath me, suddenly no longer feeling so sleepy. 

                                                                            ***

“Matthew, what’s this I hear about you not letting Dominic come see you? The boy’s beside himself with worry about you and this is how you treat him?” my father asked a day or so later (my grasp on time had become poor), frowning disapprovingly at me.

He’d come to see me a few times since I’d woken up to find myself back home in London, but in hospital. The other times had been just as stiff and awkward as any time we’d ever really spent together, but this time was even more uncomfortable, Dad not even waiting to trade pleasantries before he was back to criticising me. The last few times he’d at least first checked on how I was doing and how I felt, as well as filled me in on everything, before proceeding to play the whole ‘I told you so’ card about my job; there was no way he'd ever let me forget that his fears had been proven justified.

“What do you even care about it all? I thought you weren’t too keen on him anyway?” I asked, narrowing my own eyes, immediately on the defensive.

“I’ve always liked the man, the fact that he turned out to be your secret homosexual lover hardly changes the fact that he’s an excellent employee. And sure I’m still getting used to the idea of my son being in a relationship with another man, but over this stressful time, I’ve come to know Dominic even better. He’s a good man and it’d even be obvious to a blind man that he cares deeply about you, for whatever reason I can’t say, for all I’ve seen so far is that you don’t treat the poor man very well.”

His words made me angry, because he was right. I didn’t deserve Dom and that was partly why I couldn’t let him see me. Without my body, what did I have to offer him? He deserved far better than me. I also still knew, though, that by not allowing him to see me, despite hearing that he’d tried to see me multiple times now, I was just hurting him even more and it truly did make me feel awful…

“You know he keeps asking me about you? He did when you were gone and even now that you’re actually back home, he still has to do so to find out about how you’re doing? He’s worried. You’re being unfair, Matthew.”

“Dad, I can’t. It’s all very well that the two of you are now mates and all, but it’s different for me… I mean, look at me for fuck’s sake, I look a right bloody mess. I am one. I’m a freakin’ cripple, what can I bring to the relationship now even? Without the nurses’ help I can’t do a bloody thing for myself and the doctors say the recovery will be slow and I’ll need a lot of help. Who am I to then thrust that all upon Dominic? He’s too good a man to say anything, he’ll do it all no doubt, but that’s unfair to him. I don’t deserve that from him. He doesn’t deserve it! He shouldn't hav–”

I was freaking out again, I could feel my heart pounding rapidly and I suddenly felt extremely dizzy, despite the fact that I was lying down and pretty much strapped in. My breath also felt short and I found myself beginning to gasp a bit for air. My surroundings felt like they were swimming.

“Matthew? Matthew, calm down, son. Relax, don’t get up. Take a deep breath.” My dad was suddenly at his feet beside me, reaching out to try hold me down against the bed, I hadn’t even realised I was trying to move. “Nurse! Thank God, he just started freaking out.”

And suddenly I could see Bianca, one of the nurses on the day shift who helped care for me, in my peripheral, before she replaced my father’s position, one of her hands stroking through my hair.

“Matthew, dear, relax. Calm down. You need to stay lying down, we don’t want you to hurt yourself. Come on, breathe in properly like me: in and out. In and out. Slowly.” My breaths felt shallow and inefficient, but then suddenly she was placing an oxygen mask over my face, as I tried to do my best to follow her, until then slowly I felt my heart rate thankfully begin to slow down again and my lungs get some much needed oxygen. She then helped ease my back against my pillows, as she brushed the hair out of my face. “What set him off?” I could vaguely hear her then ask my father, as I gulped at the steady flow of oxygen.

“We were talking about him not seeing his… seeing Dominic.”

“Really? Hmm… he does seem to worry about Mr. Howard a lot, much like Mr. Howard does him – he came yet again today. He seems terrified of rejection, which is common amongst trauma patients, but for obvious reasons we’ve already discussed the need for some counseling when he’s discharged. As for the attack, I think switching up his meds may help a bit. He is ever so sensitive to medicine.”

“Always has been, even as a kid,” I heard my dad agree, my eyes closing as I felt my breathing start to return to normal. I felt completely drained after the stupid little episode. I was so weak.

“You feeling better, Matthew?” I then heard Bianca ask me directly, her voice gentle and close to my ear.

“Ah-huh,” I tried to nod, as she then removed the mask carefully. “Th-thanks.”

“Okay then, I’m just going to go find Dr. Thompson and discuss your meds.” And with a smile at both of us she then left.

“You really feeling okay now?” Dad asked, still hovering around my bed.

“Y-yeah. Sorry about that,” I apologised sheepishly. “See, this is what I mean, I’ll freak Dom out even more.”

“Oh, Matthew… The man so obviously cares a lot about you, surely he deserves some choice in the mater too? Let him decide for himself and either way, I’ll be here for you. You’ll get better, Matthew, I have faith in you. Besides, he’s already seen you since your return. Do you honestly think I was alone in waiting for you to come out of surgery.”

I felt the colour instantly drain from my face. ”Wh-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on, Matthew. He was there, he saw you in ICU with me when you were still under. He was so worried about you, son. He deserves a chance.”

I sighed, because no matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, he had raised a good point… Also, how long could I keep hiding from Dominic?

Yet again I was being selfish, even in trying not to be. Bianca was right: what I was, admittedly, most terrified of, was his possible rejection.

 

 

                                                                                    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Matthew,” his name just slipped from me as I was finally able to step inside his private room and see him conscious for the first time since he’d left.

“H-hi.” His voice sounded rough and groggy, his long hair was also a fluffy mess of bedhair, leading me to suspect he’d probably only recently awoken. I also couldn’t help but notice that he’d recently had a shave, the absence of the thick beard on his chin helping to make him look far more like himself.

“Uh, how’re you feeling?” I suddenly felt all awkward around him, as I shuffled in, unsure whether to lean down and give him a kiss or a hug, or to just sit down on the chair beside his bed.

I’d been taken completely by surprise when I’d shown up this morning, following the same drill I had been for the past few days and fully expecting to be turned away yet again, only to then be told Matt actually wanted to see me. I couldn’t help but wonder what had changed, but felt an immediate thrill of excitement rush through me at the prospect of getting to see him.

The concern and worry only then followed to keep me grounded. I still didn’t know why he had refused to see me up until now, or what kind of psychological damage he’d sustained along with the physical.

“As well as can be expected, I guess,” he tried to shrug, only to then grimace no doubt due to his collarbone. “Always groggy.”

“I’m sure,” I attempted to crack a smile as I continued to hover awkwardly near his bed. “Your tolerance to medicine is poor after all.”

“Ah-huh,” he nodded, before we then just stared at each other in the awkward silence which followed.

“Um, I’m really glad you’re home. I missed you so much,” I admitted, doing my best to try put an end to the uncomfortable atmosphere. “I’m just sorry you had to go through all that and then got hurt before you could come home.”

“Well you and my dad were right in the end, weren’t you?” he said with a sigh, his eyes dropping to look at his left hand which was worrying at the bed sheets.

“Oh, Matt. It’s not a matter of who was right and who was wrong. What matters now is that you’re home and we need to focus on you getting better,” I reassured him and took another hesitant step closer to his bed.

“Dom… that’s the thing… I don’t want you to feel obliged to help me out, let alone stay with me. I’m more trouble than I’m worth and you deserve so much better.” His voice sounded so sad and it broke my heart, I wasn’t used to the usually cocky and self-centred man talking so self-depreciatingly.

“Matt, that’s nonsense. Why would I ever want to leave you, you pillock. I love you. You’re more than worth it.”

“Dominic, that’s just it; I’m not. At least in the past I could give you _something_ in return for all the shit I pay your kindness with. But now… I’m a freakin’ cripple, Dom. What do I now have to offer in the relationship, aside from a whole load of grueling demands on account of the fact that I’m now helpless and pathetic.”

“Matt, that’s not true! And anyway, I love you for a whole lot more than your body and what you can do with it. Contrary to popular assumption, you’re actually a great person to be around and I treasure your company,” I argued, hating to see him put himself down like this. I also felt somewhat offended that he thought all I wanted from him was his body.

I loved him entirely, the whole grumpy, snarky package.

He just sighed in frustration and turned his head to look out the window. It was funny, but despite our separation, I could still read him like a book; he was trying desperately not to argue angrily with me.

“Erm, I see, uh, that you shaved,” I then attempted instead, hoping to avoid a repeat of the awkward silence.

“I didn’t. I can’t. Bianca, my nurse, had to do it for me. See, this is what I mean; I can barely do a thing for myself, Dominic. You deserve an equal partner, not a bloody patient,” he muttered, thankfully turning his head to look back at me. “She even had to help wash my hair; help wash me. I haven’t left this bloody bed since I arrived…”

“Well, I don’t mind, I could totally help you out with that, plus I’d be more than happy to give you a sponge bath,” I tried to grin and wiggle my eyebrows.

“Dominic… I appreciate you trying to make an effort, but you don’t have to. Seriously, I’ll manage…”

“Matthew,” I groaned in my own frustration now, desperate for him to quit this and just understand that, no matter what, I still loved him. I wasn’t about to leave the stubborn bastard anytime soon.

Before I could continue with saying just that, though, a pretty nurse joined us.

“Sorry, don’t mind me,” she smiled sweetly at me, before scurrying over to the other side of the bed. “Just have to quickly empty your catheter bag,” she informed Matt before retrieving said item and then disappearing into the en suite I hadn’t noticed earlier.

When I turned to look back at Matt, it was to find his face flushed with shame, as he fidgeted self-consciously with his blanket again. “See… I can’t even go to the fucking bathroom…”

“Oh, Matt,” I sighed sympathetically, as I finally just decided to go over to stand right next to him, before reaching over to fold my hands around his bony left one and leant over to kiss him on the temple, as he’d ducked his head awkwardly from me. “I don’t care about any of that, baby. It won’t make me love you any less.”

When I drew back though to look at him, it was to find that his eyes were tearing, as he tried to keep his face turned from me.

I’d never seen him cry before, the act so completely out of his character, yet here he was, tears streaking his face; he looked so broken and sad. The sight broke my heart like nothing ever had before. It made me physically ache right along with him.

“Matt,” I hesitated, wanting desperately to pull him into my arms, but unsure of where I could even really touch him without causing him pain, as I was now hovering awkwardly over him. I felt so helpless, unsure of how I could properly comfort him, as he then pulled his hand free to try hide his face from me. “Matt, baby, no, it’s okay. You have nothing to hide,” I tried to reassure him, my left hand loosely looped around his skinny forearm, wanting, but not yet daring, to pull his hand away from his face.

Of course this was when Bianca returned, she glanced up at me apologetically as she quickly reattached things before offering me a sympathetic smile and quickly leaving us. At least she’d left us and not pried, I was genuinely impressed with her as a nurse and I was glad that Matt was clearly getting good care.

“I-I’m a joke. I’m p-pathetic and you could do so much better with-without me,” he shook his head then, as I’d finally managed to pull his hand out of the way.

“Hey, no. That’s not true at all,” I disagreed, moving my left hand to cup the side of his face and stop him from trying to hide his face from me. “You’ve been through a lot. You just need to give yourself time to heal. You also need to realise that I don’t want anyone else, but you. Whatever state you’re in. I just wish you would have let me see you sooner so I could have reassured you sooner.”

His watery blue eyes moved to finally look back at me properly, my heart momentarily pausing as I was reminded of just how breathtaking their particular shade of blue was, as I ran my thumb under his eye to wipe away a fresh tear.

“I’m so sorry, Dom.”

“I know, baby,” I smiled sadly at him, before leaning forward to finally press our lips together in a sweet little peck. “I know.”

I then went to move the chair right beside his bed, before sitting on it and taking his free hand into mine again, careful of the drip running through it, nasty bruises already formed around it.

“So, uh, what have you been up to while I was gone? How are those irritating friends of yours?” he then tried, his eyes focused on our joined hands.

“Well, they’ve been great. Chris of course now knows about us–”

“Yeah, Morgan does too,” he interrupted quickly in a soft tone, his voice still noticeably more raspy than I was accustomed to.

“I think pretty much everyone does now. They’ve pretty much all been pretty supportive though too…”

So we chatted for a while, with me doing most of the talking and him the listening and ‘ah’ and ‘hmm’-ing, while we continued to hold hands, Matt’s fingers having eventually intertwined with mine after a while, as his eyes had slowly grown heavier.

“Dom?” he sleepily murmured after I’d told him about Chris and his wife, Kelly, expecting yet another child.

“Yes, baby?” I asked, reaching out with my free right hand to brush some stray strands of hair out of his face.

“’M really sleepy.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” I hummed, continuing to run my fingers through his thick, dark hair.

“Stay with me?”

“Of course. There’s no ways I’m leaving now that I’m finally at your side.”

“’S’nice, missed you so much,” he mumbled, before it all got to be too much and sleep finally claimed him.

“Missed you too,” I whispered back anyway, before ducking down to kiss his temple. There was no way I was about to leave him alone; he had absolutely nothing to worry about. I wasn’t in any hurry to leave him anytime soon.

He looked peaceful, I’d always found the image of him sleeping extremely reassuring and relaxing, it was when he always used to look most human. My arms ached to hold him though, and I couldn’t bear not being able to do so any longer. So, after putting down the bars of the bed on this side and being super careful and gentle, I moved to put my left arm around his middle, seeing as it was the only area really of his body that wasn’t bandaged or in a cast.

He barely stirred in response, as I held him over the blankets, stretching my body uncomfortably in my seated position to rest my head then against the left side of his chest. He still obviously just smelt like hospital, but he was much warmer thankfully than the last time I’d seen him. I just breathed him in regardless and could barely keep back a smile as I felt his free arm wrap loosely around me then.

Closing my eyes, I just surrounded myself with him, with his presence, listening to the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat, thumping rhythmically beneath my ear.

 

                                                                ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Matt? Matt, baby, wake up,” I could hear Dominic’s voice as, blinkingly, I began to open my eyes and saw him sitting beside me, while he stroked my hair back soothingly.

“Hmm?” I mumbled, moving to stretch, only to be met with a sharp pain in my right shoulder, making my face scrunch in pain.

“Careful now, are you alright?” his voice was full of concern as he stared back at me with those big, warm grey eyes.

“Pass me that button, please?” I asked, reaching with my left hand for the cord of my morphine pump with had fallen off when the metal bars of my bed had been put down at some point.

“Sure, shit, sorry about that,” he apologised, bending to get it before passing it over so that I could press the button a bit.

“S’fine,” I tried to smile back, but felt absolutely broken, my leg and shoulder screaming in pain. When I looked back at him properly though, a proper smile managed to break through.

He must’ve fallen asleep too at some point, the hair on the right side of his head was all mused up funny, his face on that side also all pink and creased with the impressions of fabric folds and his features were still all sleep-softened.

“Thanks for staying.”

“No problem. I would have anyway,” he smiled back, flushing a bit as he tried to flatten his hair neatly down again, clearly having noticed where my eyes had gone to. “Sorry I woke you, Bianca just came in to tell me that they’re serving lunch soon and she thought you should eat.”

“It’s fine,” I yawned, thankfully now beginning to feel the drugs starting to work through me. I also then noticed that my bed was bent up a bit more, Bianca no doubt having done so in preparation for lunch.

As if on cue, the woman in question then appeared, holding a tray of food, Dom then quickly hopping to his feet to wheel the table over me for her, before she put it down with a “thank you” directed at him.

“No hassle,” he smiled at her, before returning to his seat beside me.

“Okay, Matthew, let’s see if you can maybe try finish your food this time,” she then said to me, as she began lifting the lids off everything. Lasagna. Doable. “And yes, before you ask, it’s lime, not apple flavoured jelly.”

“Thanks,” I said gratefully, as she then made to begin cutting everything up for me. Having only one functioning arm made eating a nightmare. It also made me feel like a helpless little kid again.

“Um, here, can I help?” Dom offered and, smiling, she readily handed the knife and fork over to him.

“Think you got it?” she asked, also turning to look at me to check I was okay with letting Dom take over.

“Yeah, s’all good.” He grinned at her, before turning to also check if I was okay with it. I just nodded, remembering in the last minute that I was unable to shrug without causing myself a shitton of pain.

“Okay, then, I’ll just leave you two at it then,” and with that she walked off out my room.

“You’re alright with this, right?” Dom clearly still felt the need to ask as he began to start where Bianca had left off.

“Yeah, s’not like I can help myself…” I muttered, unable to help it. I just felt so frustrated with the whole situation.

“Here,” he then said, prompting me to look up at him in response, only to see he was pushing a fork full of lasagna towards my mouth.

“Oi, you don–” but he cut me off by stuffing it in my mouth.

“I know I don’t have to, I just thought I’d do it anyway. It’s more romantic…”

“Hmphs-se-seriously? There is absolutely nothing romantic about any of this,” I argued, after managing to chew and swallow the large mouthful.

“It can be what you make of it,” he shrugged, “and I choose to make it romantic. We’re finally back together and I have you all to myself; to me, that is already more than romantic enough.”

Naturally that earned him an eye roll, only for him to then take me by surprise by stuffing another forkful into my mouth and following it up with a big kiss to my nose.

“It’s good to have you back.”

                                                                       ***

“Ouch, that does look rather painful.”

“Ugh, shut up, Tom. Dom’ll freak out if he catches you going through Matthew’s papers, let alone what Matthew will do if he’s the one that catches you.”

“Okay, okay, sheesh, Jess. Can’t a bloke just check out some hardcore x-rays?”

“Let me think about that… um, no. Now quit fooling around, Dom just went to grab something to eat; he’ll be back any minute now.”

“Jeez, okay, I’ll behave.”

I felt groggy, but even as I stirred, half conscious, I could make out the distinct sound of two people I most certainly had no desire to see, so promptly began to feign sleep. When Dominic made his reappearance, he had some real explaining to do.

“And what exactly have you two been up to while I was gone?” And, speaking of the devil, suddenly I could hear Dom’s voice join the other two idiots’.

“Not much, just been watching your Prince Charming here as he continues to sleep like a baby. So, does he ever even wake up?” Tom was the one who replied first.

“Yeah, ‘course he does. He’s just really tired, his body’s still understandably weak and I kept him up most of yesterday,” came Dom’s reply, before I could suddenly sense his presence right beside me, no doubt on the chair he’d pushed right up against my bed. “He was awake a little while before you lot came even.”

“Aw, poor guy,” I heard Jess’ voice then sympathise. “He looks so skinny, even more so than usual… one shudders to think what it must’ve been like for him.”

“Yeah, we haven’t mentioned it. I think he’s trying to avoid it. If he’s not ready, he’s not ready, he’s gonna start seeing someone to talk about it all when he’s discharged anyway. All he needs to know now, is that I’m here for him,” Dom said, as I then felt his fingers brush through my hair tenderly, before I felt his soft lips press a kiss to my cheek.

“Naww, Dommy, you’re so whipped, it’s adorable,” Tom giggled teasingly, before I heard a smacking sound. “Ouch, dammit, Jess, I was being genuine! Honest!”

“Yeah, you’re pretty whipped too, mate,” Dom chuckled, the sound warm and comforting. I’d missed his laugh.

“That he is,” Jess declared proudly, before both her and Dom laughed some more, Tom joining in a bit later too, clearly unable not to. “Oh, Dommy, it’s good to see you laughing again. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Jess,” came Dom’s reply as I heard some rustling beside me.

“Now if only you’d go home and have a proper meal. The nurse said you stayed the night?”

“Whipped,” came a hushed snigger from Tom before another smack and “Ouch!”

“Yeah, Matt asked me not to leave him and when he passed out after dinner last night it was pretty clear he wasn’t gonna wake up anytime soon and the nursing staff said it would be alright if I stayed. So I did,” Dom explained, as if it were no big deal.

“And what, you just slept on that chair?” Tom asked in disbelief.

“Yup, best night I’ve had in ages, surprisingly enough,” Doom replied nonchalantly.

“Sheesh, vending machine junk for food and a crappy night’s sleep on a plastic chair? You must really love the guy,” Tom stated, clearly still in disbelief.

“Indeed I do…”

I felt my stomach drop with guilt. I hadn’t meant for Dom to live off vending machine snacks and sleep uncomfortably here, I’d just meant for a while during the day, besides, I’d been half asleep when I’d asked him…

I felt awful. I didn’t deserve him. He was too good to me…

                                                                         ***

My mind was a mess, full of doubts and regret and at some point I must have fallen asleep again, because next thing I knew, everything was quite around me, the light filtering through my eyelids minimal.

When my eyes blinkingly opened, it was to find Dominic fast asleep, his arm draped over my stomach and head rested on my good shoulder. I couldn’t resist reaching out to run my fingers through his fluffy locks of dark gold hair. He just mumbled in his sleep, his fingers tightening their hold on my right hip.

When I then bent forward a bit to kiss the top of his head, I was instantly met with a rush of pain from my shoulder.

“Ugh,” I couldn’t help but grunt in pain, only for Dom to instantly bolt into an upright position.

“Shit, Matt, are you okay? Did I hurt you?!” I could see his eyes were blown wide with concern, his hair sticking up funnily on his right side again, despite the dim lighting of the room, the drawn curtains hinting at it being nighttime.

“Nah, it was my fault. Keep forgetting about my bloody shoulder. Thank God my fucking leg’s tied up, else I’d be banging that about too,” I replied, trying to offer him a reassuring smile, but even I could tell that it was weak, the pain I was feeling still too much for me.

“Here, Matt,” he smiled back at me regardless, handing me my morphine button. “Best enjoy that while you can, Bianca said they’re gonna try weaning you off it soon; don’t want to make an addict out of you after all.”

“Ugh, that’s gonna suck,” I groaned, hiting the button a couple times, my eyes drifting to my leg, which I knew held the real pain.

“Trust me, Matt, you’ll still be well drugged up, for a long time to come, no doubt,” he assured me with a tired smile.

He looked exhausted. That familiar churn of guilt working at my gut.

“Dom, you should go home. You look finished. You need a proper night’s sleep as well as a decent meal. I promise I’ll let you come see me when you get back.”

“Oh, Matt, no. I can’t leave you. Not yet. I’m fine. You just worry about getting better, baby, don’t stress about me,” he insisted. “I sleep better with you by my side.”

And by his serious tone and the look in those stormy greys, I knew that that was the end of that. There would be no convincing him. He always loved to go on about how stubborn I was, but I honestly had nothing on him.

“Now, do you need anything? Something to eat or drink or?”

“I’m okay, Dom. Thanks.”

“Hmm, well, you just tell me if you need something, okay?”

I just nodded, earning a warm smile from him, before he moved to snuggled back down against me again.

“You’re okay with this, right? I’m not hurting you, am I?” he was sure to ask, but I just shook my head and wrapped my free arm around him too.

“I’m fine, love,” I murmured into his soft mop of hair, before I heard his signature light snore, the sound warming my heart. I’d never thought I’d miss that little nose whistle of his, but I really had. “You just sleep.”


	36. Chapter 36

"Hold on, Matthew, I'm going to try be as careful as possible, I can assure you," Bianca said as reassuringly as she could, while she prepared Matthew before getting ready to remove his catheter.   
  
His leg was out of traction now, so they'd decided he could also lose the catheter along with it; he was due to be discharged soon as well, they just wanted another day or so to monitor him before I could take him home.   
  
I'd decided, ignoring his fuss that he didn't want to 'burden' me anymore, that I'd rather have him back home and help him recuperate, than have him go to a rehabilitation facility. I'd be more than willing to help him out at home and drive him to his physiotherapy and psych appointments. I couldn't bear to be parted from him again, if I'm honest; I truly seem to have developed some serious separation anxiety...   
  
His eyes had blown wide, shooting down south to his crotch, before I felt his left hand tighten its hold on mine.   
  
"Hey, baby, I'm here. Maybe don't look," I tried to comfort him too, reaching out with my free hand to cup his cheek and turn his head to face me instead. Naturally I couldn't bear to look myself, the mere thought had me crossing my own legs.   
  
"Okay, are you ready?"   
  
"Yes, dammit, just get on with it," Matt whined and I could feel a distinct tremble to his hand that I was holding.   
  
"It's okay, relax, Matt," I squeezed his hand again, looking into those wide, blue eyes. "I hav–"   
  
"HOLY MOTHER OF– _FUUUUCK!!_ "   
  
"There we go, sorry about that, you should still feel a bit of discomfort for anything from a few hours up to a few days," Bianca then explained, gathering everything up, before making a wise and swift exit, after having rearranged Matt's bedding and everything.   
  
"You okay, Matt?" I asked him, his eyes having shut and his expression truly reflecting the most epic of grimaces. When he then just whimpered pathetically, I leaned forward to kiss his temple and squeezed his hand tighter.   
  
When he still looked all miserable, I just wanted to hold him and comfort him properly, and, taking into account that his leg was no longer suspended in traction, I made the decision to try do so.   
  
"Here, do you think you can try shuffle up a bit to the side, Matty?" I asked him as I got up and kicked off my shoes.   
  
He opened his eyes and looked back at me in confusion at first, before comprehension took over. His face then scrunched up in concentration as he attempted to scoot over, the sheer effort it was clearly taking him, prompted me to walk around the bed and try carefully pulling him by his waist, before he was in place.   
  
"Ugh, how am I so weak?" he complained in frustration, his self-pity levels clearly still high.   
  
"You've been through a lot, your body needs time to recover," I said, walking back around the bed and putting down that side's railing, before I clambered up to squeeze in beside him.   
  
He just sighed, clearly still frustrated with the whole situation, but I just shuffled over to wrap my arms around him, his cold, bulky cast between us. Doing so, I was reminded, perhaps even more so than ever before, of just how much weight he'd lost, his previously slim waist, truly tiny and bony in my arms now. The thought had me clinging on closer, as if I could try make up for not having been there and protect him now.   
  
"Ouch, Dom," he whined, wriggling a bit in my hold, "I still need to breathe."   
  
"I love you so much, Matt. I'm so sorry all this happened to you. I'm going to look after you so well, I took more time off work and everything, I just want to help you get better." I could have cringed with all the emotion my voice held, if what I was saying truly wasn't coming from deep inside of my heart.   
  
"Uh, it's okay, Dom. It's not your fault. None of it is," he mumbled against my hair, my head buried against the uninjured side of his chest, his left hand patting me on the back. His voice still sounded rough from all the meds he was on and all the sleeping he did, but in that moment there wasn't a more beautiful sound to be heard.   
  
We then lay there in silence for a bit, my body curled around his prone one. It felt unbelievable to be able to hold him again, even if I couldn't spoon him the way I craved to and had to be ever conscious of his injuries. The reassuring and wonderful noise of his heart beating strongly and the deep in and out rushes of his breath filled my ears though and made me feel at home, even if I still wasn't entirely used to his hospital scent, as his hand lightly stroked up and down my back. The culmination of it all had my eyelids drooping and my own breaths beginning to even out, as I felt my mind beginning to drift towards sleep.   
  
"Dom?" His voice eventually broke through the calmness of it all, admittedly startling me a bit, as I jolted into a sitting position, instantly alert and awake, beside him and looked down at him in concern.   
  
"Yes, baby?"   
  
"Um," his cheeks flushed slightly, "I needa pee, can you please get Bianca for me? The 'help' button's on your side..."   
  
  
                                                                  ~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
It was embarrassing to have to ask Dom to get me a nurse so I could take a leak, my bladder suddenly bursting. He'd looked so concerned at first too, blond hair mussed where he'd lain against me and grey eyes drowsy and heavy when I'd had to disturb him; he'd begun to start falling asleep against me.   
  
I hated to disturb him too, he really looked like he could do with the sleep too. I'm sure he hasn't been sleeping much, even now that I'm back, he always has bags under his eyes and dark rings. I also can't help but notice that he's forever drinking coffee and energy drinks from the canteen either.   
  
He'd just blushed right back and nodded before getting Bianca though, always ready to help me and push aside his own needs for mine. It just made me feel incredibly guilty.   
  
Bianca had then come in with one of the other nurses, Angela, who often helped out, she also happened to be a bit more built in the muscle department. Angela had then carried me – I kid you not – to the en suite and helped me use the toilet, before carrying me right back. I don't think I've ever been more mortified.   
  
"Hey, Matt, there's nothing to be ashamed about," Dom tried to assure me, back to lying in the bed beside me, the nurses having made their exit a little while ago.   
  
"It's humiliating. You've got to send me to a facility, at least until I can hobble a bit, I refuse to have you reduced to helping me use a toilet." The complete realisation of what exactly Dom was signing himself up for with me had me panicked and horrified; I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye even.   
  
I already saw the pity in his eyes when he looked at me and the way I was now always so pathetically weak and the fact that I can barely do anything for myself. I don't want him to now view me in an even greater sense of pity, let alone disgust. As it is I doubt he'll ever view me the same again anyway, but if he now also has to be my, well, carer, all hope may as well be lost forever. How can I ever be viewed as desirable or sexy in his eyes again, after he's had to carry me to use the bathroom, wash me, feed me, dress me... The whole situation was enough to drive me insane.   
  
I felt like I'd already lost so much and, despite his constant reassurances, I can't help but feel I'm slowly losing him too, at least in the sense of a romantic partner. He's too good a person to ever leave me due to the state I'm now in, but... I can't be more than a burden to him now. I don't want that. The fact pains me beyond belief.   
  
Dom deserves so much better.   
  
"Matt, I offered  – insisted  – to help assist you in your recovery. I love you, you silly man, I don't care about any of that. You're still you and I love you for so much more than your fucking body and what you can do with it. I would and will do anything for you, Matt, I honestly would. I thought and feared that I would have to learn to accept the fact that I may never see you again, yet here you are; safe and with me again, despite whatever state you're in. I now know what it's like to live without you and that's just something I can't do; so please just bloody well come to terms with the fact that I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what state you're in, you're still you and I'm still me and that means I'm going nowhere; so you best just get used to it."   
  
I didn't deserve him.   
  
"Oh, Matt," he then reached out to wipe away the wetness I hadn't even realised had been gathering in my eyes as it then suddenly slid down my cheek. "It kills me when you cry, baby," he said softly, his own voice sounding gruff as he held me even closer and buried his face against my chest again.   
  
I may be mistaken, suddenly feeling myself drowning in my own emotions and unable to do anything to stop them flooding me, the shock of how I seemed to cry so easily now a days only adding to it all, but I'm sure I felt dampness seep into my hospital gown under where his face was buried.   
  
  
                                                                   ~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
"There we go, that should do it," I announced, giving Matt's bare right thigh a pat as I stood up from my crouching position beside the bed.   
  
He'd finally been discharged from hospital and at last was back home, to his own house. I'd been so nervous that he would be annoyed by the fact that it immediately became obvious that I'd spent most of my time in his apartment upon walking in, lots of my things having migrated over, but he didn't say a word. He'd just sat in his wheelchair, the long fingers of his left hand fidgeting with his coat's undone zipper, his right arm in the sling preventing it from being done up, and sighed. He didn't say it so much as I got the obvious sense that he was pleased to be home and finally out of that hospital.   
  
We'd just watched some telly, Matt keeping his thoughts to himself and not really speaking, until half an hour or so ago when he'd asked if I'd shower him, the 'hospital smell' on his skin doing his head in. Of course I'd agreed to help him out right away, the fact that I'd realised he'd been trying to work himself into asking me, saddening me.   
  
I hadn't seen him fully naked since his return, something both of us were clearly aware of, so the fact that he was suddenly so self-conscious, where previously modesty had always been something he'd lacked, broke my heart. He didn't need to worry about what I thought, but even after our conversation the previous day where I'd done my best to reassure him, it was obvious he still felt completely insecure about... well, pretty much everything.   
  
So, after I'd wheeled him over to the room, I'd picked him up so I could lay him on the bed and help strip him, I then was sure I did so very carefully. I'd bought him some oversized joggers so they'd fit over his cast, the result was that he looked like he was drowning in his clothing, but he'd assured me that he was just pleased to be out of the hospital gowns, which he despised.   
  
They of course then came off easily, with Matt lying back down on the bed. His jersey and tee had been another story after I'd removed his sling, with me ever so carefully trying to take them off without hurting him, his right arm's injured state didn't allow him a wide range of movement, which made the task even harder. I managed in the end though, but he'd still winced and whimpered in pain in the process.   
  
My eyes had of course then been drawn to the sight of his right collarbone, the area covered in faded yellowish bruises, his stitches having only been taken out earlier before he'd been discharged, with the skin there left in an angry, raised line of shiny, pink, scarring tissue.   
  
"That ugly, huh?" he'd asked, catching that I was grimacing before I'd even noticed I'd been doing so. I'd been quick to try put his concerns to rest.   
  
"No, no, it just looks sore is all." He'd just grunted in reply, as my eyes had then moved downwards taking in how damn skinny he was, his body always having been so familiar to me, had changed. Previously sharp angles which flowed gracefully, now looked more jutted and severe, almost painful.   
  
"What're you waiting for?" he'd then asked, getting all the more self-conscious when I'd still not helped remove his boxers, trying to lift his head to see what I was doing, only to aggravate his tender shoulder.   
  
I'd then moved to quickly just help rid him of his loose fitting boxers (I'd also had to get new, bigger ones due to his cast), doing so swiftly and then hurrying off to go get the cling film.   
  
The nurses had given me a lot of help and advice in caring for him and one of the things was that I could help give him a proper shower and not a sponge bath  – which he'd pretty much exclusively been having up until this point  – as long as I effectively covered his cast. Naturally I'd also spoken to my mum and cling film had been her suggestion.   
  
So that's what I'd done, sure to wrap his cast up carefully and make it waterproof. He'd only wriggled uncomfortably when I'd reached up towards his groin, in order to seal the top.   
  
With him all ready now, I began to strip myself, not wanting to get my clothing wet.   
  
"You don't mind, do you?" For some reason I'd felt the need to ask him, the question slipping from me and making my stomach pang. Nudity had never been a problem between us, yet I now felt overly self-conscious too. "Just, uh, don't wanna wet my clothes."   
  
He just shrugged, his expression completely blank.   
  
Eventually free of all material, I then scooped him up, wondering what was going on in his head, his uncharacteristic silence ever since I'd taken him home leaving me feeling uneasy. I did know, however, that he'd always hated me picking him up even in the past, so the fact that he now depended on me doing so most likely didn't sit well with him...   
  
Feeling sufficiently insecure and awkward myself now, I helped seat him in the plastic chair I'd gotten for his shower, his cast obviously making baths impossible. I'd never been more grateful for his spacious en suite's large shower.   
  
"Um, sorry, the water's obviously gonna be cold at first," I apologised, hand then poised on the tap.   
  
"S'okay," he replied softly, eyes focused on his hands which were folded in his lap.   
  
So I turned the water on, cringing a bit myself under the frigid spray until it grew warm and then I detached the nozzle and began to spray him. Once he was sufficiently wet, I then turned the water off before squeezing some shampoo in my hand and began lathering up his hair, Matt continuing to remain silent the entire time.   
  
The dark strands, which now pretty much met his shoulders, were much longer than the last time I'd washed his hair. He just lent his head backwards and gave me full control, his eyes tightly shut. I found myself scanning his face as I scrunched his hair up and rubbed his scalp. He'd always loved it so much when I'd washed his hair in the past, it had literally been one of the quickest ways to get him hard, but a quick, subconscious glance downwards towards where his hands were still limply folded showed this to no longer be the case...   
  
The thought made my stomach pang once more. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any hurry or impatient and about to jump my temporarily disabled boyfriend, but the fact he wasn't acting like himself had me worried.   
  
"Here, baby," I prompted, getting him to reach up so I could wash under his arms. He barely flinched as I ran a wet cloth over the usually sensitive hollow of his left arm. He did however flinch when I got him to lift his right arm. "Shit, is your shoulder okay?"   
  
"Y-yeah, 'm okay," he replied through gritted teeth.   
  
I then proceeded to be even more careful when I then washed him off, having turned the water back on. After he was done I hastily washed myself, before hurriedly wrapping myself in a towel and heading off to spread one on the bed. I then went back to dry Matt off too, with him continuing to be like a ragdoll still, before hoisting him up and taking him to the bed.   
  
He just stared blankly at the ceiling as I helped dress him in a clean pair of boxers and tee, before I got dressed too.   
  
"See, bet you regret offering to help me now?" he suddenly said, his voice soft yet still startling me as I sat down beside him on the bed with a sigh.   
  
"Oh no, Matt, come on. You've gotta stop thinking like that, baby," I told him, reaching over to brush his lengthy, damp fringe out of his face. "What's it gonna take to get you to realise that I'd do anything for you? I'm just so grateful to have you back."   
  
"Dom, honestly, what kind of relationship is this for you? You've been reduced to being more of a nursemaid than a boyfriend to me," he argued, struggling to sit up and prompting me to help shift him over so he could sit against the pillows and headboard.   
  
"Matt, I don't care, seriously, I just don't get why you can't see that. I don't know how to make it any clearer to you," I sighed sadly, stroking my hand through his hair. "Now, enough of this, I'm gonna start making some dinner; I don't know about you, but I'm starving."   
  
                                                                                    ***   
  
"Here you go," I said handing over a glass of water so Matt could take his painkillers.   
  
Upon opening his bag of meds I'd also discovered that he'd been prescribed antidepressants, something I hadn't even known he needed. The discovery had me worried. I hadn't realised he'd needed any, but he'd started his therapy sessions already and clearly he did, I just couldn't help wonder why he hadn't mentioned it to me. For that matter he didn't tell me much about whatever it was they spoke about either, but that's all fair enough, as long as he gets better...   
  
Antidepressants though... Sure he'd cried twice now in front of me and showed a lot of insecurity, things which weren't at all like him, but I honestly hadn't realised it was that bad? I felt absolutely awful for being so careless and unobservant...   
  
"Thanks, Dom," he tried to smile gratefully as he accepted the glass, having already put the pills in his mouth.   
  
"Sure thing," I struggled to crack a smile myself, as I then climbed into bed beside him. We'd already eaten, I'd made us some spag' bol', a favourite of his, and I'd gotten us trays so we could just eat in bed and watch telly.   
  
He hadn't finished all his food, but had assured me he'd loved it all, it was just that he was full. We'd then proceeded to watch _Sleepy Hollow_ , another thing I knew he enjoyed, before he'd begun to start closing his eyes every now and again, as well as yawn sleepily, hence I'd given him his pills now.   
  
"Dom?"   
  
"Yeah, baby?" I asked, settling into bed once more.   
  
"Could you, um, er... I, well, um... need... the, um, toilet?" he stuttered out, face as red as a radish as he looked completely embarrassed, as well as guilty. "I'm sorry, I know you just lay down..."   
  
"No, Matt, it's alright," I was sure to reassure him, leaning over to kiss his cheek, before getting up to help him.   
  
Having carried Matt over, I then left him to pee in peace, the fact he had to sit and pee, something I knew humiliated and annoyed him endlessly, without him even having to verbally express it to me. So I went to then check my mobile, only to find a text from my mum.   
  
**_ Hi Nicky love, I still need to know if you and Matthew will be joining us for Xmas or not.  
I do so hope you can. Hope all is well and Matthew is doing better, much love Mum xxxx _ **   
  
I'd completely forgotten all about Christmas, with everything going on around here it had been the last thing on my mind. Checking my phone though, I couldn't help but take note of the date: 19 Dec. Shit. Where had the time gone? I really did want to see my family too, but I'd been holding back on asking Matt, still unsure of how he would feel about it all. I also wasn't too sure if he was up to dealing with my parents, sister and her husband, plus their kids, all in the same house yet...   
  
**_ Will let you know by tomorrow.  
We're ok, Matt's doing a bit better now that he's finally home.  
Hope you're both well too, tell Dad I say hi! X _ **   
  
"Dom?!"   
  
"Coming!"   
  
A little bit later, we were both back in bed, Matt having fallen asleep pretty quickly, his head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms gently around him. I'd quickly given up on watching telly, having turned it off already, to rather just lie there and focus on how amazing it felt to have Matt back home and in bed with me. I craned my neck to looked down at his peacefully sleeping face and couldn't help the affectionate grin which spread across my own face as I took in the fact he was drooling, ever so slightly, on my shoulder. Strangely enough, I found I'd really missed that. For a moment, everything felt like it was back to how it had all been before Matt's trip...   
  
                                                                                           ***   
  
"Dom, Dom, please, stop."   
  
I was still half asleep when I finally registered Matt's words, his hand pushing weakly against me. My eyes still felt heavy and mind groggy as I tried to figure out what was wrong. Right now I felt pretty great in fact, my body lethargic in only the best of ways, a tingling warmth starting in my lower belly, as I felt my hips rolling ever so slowly against –   
  
_ Oh, fuck! _   
  
Eyes instantly snapping open, I immediately stopped my unconscious hip movements, guilt washing over me as I realised I'd been subconsciously humping Matt in my sleep. I felt mortified, cheeks heating, as I moved a bit away from Matt, whose eyes were the size of saucers, his own cheeks flushed too. He looked absolutely freaked out.   
  
"Oh, Ma–"   
  
"I'm s-sorry, Dom. I just, I... I can't. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready. It's unfair of me, I know, but, I-I just... I just can't. I'm so sorry." And then suddenly Matt was crying, leaving me in a dilemma of whether to go hold him and apologise and reassure him it was _me_ who was sorry, or to just give him some room, in case me getting too close freaked him out again. I'd never felt more guilty and horrified with myself; I'd basically just sexually abused my injured boyfriend.   
  
"Oh God, Matt, no. I'm so sorry. Shit, I wasn't thinking, I was pretty much asleep. Fuck, I feel so awful. I'm so sorry, Matt. Please understand that I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what came over me, I know you're not ready, of course you're not. Heck, I'm not either. I'm so sorry." My hands wavered, wanting to hold him, but unsure of what to do, my morning wood well and truly limp now.   
  
In the end, my need to hold him and comfort him, my being still not used to the sight of him crying, won out and I scooted back up to him, to gather him into my arms.   
  
"I'm so sorry, baby," I tried to soothe, my words muffled by his hair, but I was incredibly relieved when he then held me back, even when his tears continued, their wetness seeping into my t-shirt where he had his face buried against my shoulder.   
  
"I-I'm all fucked up, I'm so sorry..."   
  
"No, Matt, you have nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who's sorry," I insisted, rocking him ever so slightly as I rubbed his back, trying to ignore how much his vertebrae stuck out now a days.   
  
  
                                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
"You still warm enough?" Dom asked, stopping my wheelchair to come around and fuss over my scarf and beanie, before checking that my jacket was zipped up all the way. We'd left my sling at home, as it didn't fit over the thick jacket and due to the freezing temperatures, we'd favoured warmth.   
  
"Yes, Dom, I'm alright," I said, trying to crack a smile in the hopes of reassuring him.   
  
Since this morning's awkward start, he'd been overcompensating, doing his damn best to make sure I was alright the whole time. Having calmed down from my little panic attack, I'd realised I'd been overreacting and that I'd most likely have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed; heck it had been _months_ for both of us and, unlike me, he wasn't damaged, he was still normal, so it all only made sense. I wasn't angry or upset with him, but it was more than obvious that he was besides himself with guilt, despite how much I'd tried to reassure him it was okay now.   
  
"Okay, but you have to tell me when you get too cold, alright?" he said, crouched in front of me, left hand subconsciously rubbing up and down my right leg.   
  
"I will, promise. I'm just glad to finally be getting some fresh air for a change. I'm sick of being confined to a bed all day."   
  
"Okay then," he squeezed my thigh before standing back up and resuming his position of pushing my chair.   
  
It was so frustrating, due to my injured collarbone, I didn't have enough strength  – not to mention the fact that it also hurt like a motherfucker  – in my right arm to push myself along, it was also the reason I wasn't on crutches yet. My physical therapist, whom I'd started seeing for my arm back in the hospital already, had given me a few exercises to help strengthen and repair my arm's movement, she'd said it would only be a matter of time until it got better, as long as I stuck to the biokinetics exercises. She was more hesitant in discussing how long my leg would take once it was out of its cast and we could begin exercising it.   
  
"So, anywhere particular you wanna go? I'd recommend watching the ducks swim, but seeing as the water's got chunks of ice rather than birds floating in it, we'll have to find something else to do," Dom pointed out, pushing me through the park he'd taken me to when I'd asked if we could go out.   
  
It felt weird being out in public with Dom now and not having to freak out about being found out anymore. Everyone who knew or would recognise us, would already know we were together, and besides, my career was pretty much as good as finished as it was.   
  
"What're you thinking about?" Dom asked after a while, as we passed a small little cafe in the park.   
  
"Just that it feels weird to now be seen with you in public," I replied, pushing my scarf down a bit, off my chin so I could speak better. Dominic had really made sure I was properly wrapped up.   
  
"Good weird or bad weird?" Dom asked carefully, though he did a poor job at hiding how much my answer would mean to him, his voice sounding strained.   
  
"Good weird," I answered, although I was still unsure, I just wanted to placate him and reassure him. After everything he did for me, it was literally the least I could do.   
  
"I'm glad," he sighed, before I sensed him suddenly lean down and then felt him quickly peck my cold cheek. "I love you, please don't forget that."   
  
How could I?   
  
How could I possibly ever forget that he loved me, when he never failed to show me the fact in nearly everything he did for me. I felt that familiar old guilt beginning to build and tumble around in my gut uncomfortably...   
  
"Why don't we go get something warm to drink, hmm?" Dom then suggested, as we reached another little cafe.   
  
"Yeah, sure." I didn't need my right hand to drink, my left was at least good enough to hold a mug.   
  
Then, once we were seated, Dom with his mug of coffee and me with a hot chocolate  – hey it had been a while okay  – he coughed all awkwardly and looked over at me guiltily.   
  
"Yeah, what is it, Dom?" I asked, suddenly terribly suspicious.   
  
"Um, well, my family always has a little get-together over the festive season at my parents' house in Teignmouth, a sort of tradition, you see, and, well, Christmas is only a few days away now and, er, my mum wanted to know if we would be, um, joining this year. You know, you and me? I kind of have to let her know by today whether or not we're going..." Dom said, sounding more like me as he spat it all out in one, quick go. He'd clearly been working himself up to asking me for some time now.   
  
I was touched that the Howards even wanted me around at all, but the thing is, I wasn't sure of what to say in response... With the condition I was in, it was hard enough to be in public just to get a drink, but to then have to live with my boyfriend's whole family over the Christmas holidays? The thought terrified me. Heck, it would have scared me enough even before I was reduced to a cripple, it was now just a hundred times worse.   
  
My poker face clearly having lost its touch, Dom must have seen my reluctance and dread as he hurriedly rushed to add.   
  
"But maybe you've got something planned with your dad? I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. Heck, maybe you just don't even wanna come at all, I'd understand. I don't want you to feel pressured into coming. We could also always just do something together, just you and I?"   
  
"No, we don’t. Dad’s probably gonna go on a cruise with his latest girlfriend, like he does every year…” I answered one of his questions, still not quite too sure how to deal with the rest.   
  
“Really? Christmas has always just been hugely focused around family for me… I’m sorry.”   
  
“It’s okay,” I shrugged, “Christmas has never really ever been a big thing for us. Plus it is only the two of us anyway.”   
  
“Still… So, do you wanna go to my parents’? I don’t mean to push you, but, like I said, I kinda have to tell my mum yes or no by today…” he said apologetically, looking rather sheepish.   
  
It was obvious that he desperately wanted to go, but I honestly didn’t think I was ready myself. I knew he’d gladly not go if I didn’t want to, especially after this morning’s little episode, he just wanted to make sure I was comfortable and happy, guilt now also a driving factor. But, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was plain to see how much going would mean to him.   
  
Christmas certainly meant a whole lot more to him and it would be selfish of me to hold him back, especially after everything he does for me, he deserved to spend it with his family. I could always just get a nurse to come look after me while he was away, even if the thought of needing a stranger to look after me made me sick. If it meant he could have a stress free Christmas, surrounded by family, well, then it would be worth it. Maybe it would also help with my own guilt, which felt like it was beginning to swallow me up…   
  
When I suggested this option to him, however, he was having none of it.   
  
“Matt, no, I want to spend Christmas with you, nothing would or could be more special to me. I’d also hate for you to be alone for the holidays. It’s fine if we just have a quite one with just the two of us here in London. My family will understand, Matt. Seriously, I don’t care what we do, as long as I’m with you.”   
  
Yet I knew how much it would mean for him to be with his family… Despite my own intense discomfort, it would mean the world to him and surely was the least I could do for him, after everything he did for me, I pretty much owed it to him.    
  
I bit on my lip, knowing the decision I had to make, but reluctant to do so…   
  
“Fine. Let’s go to your mum’s.”   
  
“Matt,” he sighed sadly, “we don’t have to, seriously.”   
  
“Dom, it’s what you want – No, don’t try deny it – so, yeah, let’s do it. Like I said, Christmas was never a big thing when I was growing up, but it was for you. I can’t take that away from you."  
  
By the look I was giving him, he thankfully knew not to argue, so instead he nodded and squeezed my hand again. "Thank you, Matt."


	37. Chapter 37

“Hey, Matt, we’re here, baby,” I gently brushed Matthew’s fringe aside, as I tried to wake him.  
  
With tomorrow being Christmas Eve, Matt and I had made the journey over to Teignmouth to go stay with my family for the holidays, with him falling asleep for about the last half hour of the trip. We were now here though, a thin blanket of snow covering the ground and the roofs of the houses.  
  
“Ugh, great,” Matt grumbled, voice gruff from sleep.  
  
“Hey, it’ll be okay. They’re all happy that we’re here, so you have nothing to worry about, okay?” I tried to reassure him, leaning across so that I could give him a quick kiss to the cheek.  
  
He just grumbled some more, but to himself this time, as I undid my seatbelt and got out the car, before I was suddenly hit with an armful of excitable Jamie, who was then soon followed by his twin sister Izzy, both of the six year olds laughing and rushing to greet me, bombarding me with words. Their parents were then quick to follow, along with my own.  
  
“Nicky!” My mom was next to greet me, pulling me into her arms and laying a fat kiss on my cheek, before my father gave me a hug and then my sister and her husband.  
  
“Here, let me help you carry in,” my dad offered when I moved to open the boot.  
  
“Since when do you have an Audi, Dom?” Sean asked curiously, taking in the smart red car, as I pulled Matt’s wheelchair out the trunk, him and Dad grabbing our suitcases.  
  
“Um, it’s Matt’s, my Smart’s obviously too small for our bags and his wheelchair,” I explained, heading over to the passenger side to get Matt out.  
  
“Oh, well it’s a bloody nice car,” Sean admired, Mum and Beth quick to agree. I then scooped Matt out of the car, helping him into his wheelchair.  
  
“Hi, Matthew darling,” Mum was the first to go over and welcome him. “I’m so glad you came,” she smiled, stooping down to give him a kiss too.  
  
“Thanks for having me,” he nodded in turn, doing his best to look gracious and hide his blush.  
  
All the others then said their greetings, even my dad, with the kids eager to meet someone new, and then we all headed inside, the smell of my mother’s cooking instantly filling my nostrils and making my stomach growl. I was immediately filled with the sense of home, as I pushed Matt inside.  
  
“Dom?” Matt asked, the kids hurrying off back to watching TV and Mum, with Beth right after her, headed into the kitchen to check on the food, while Sean and Dad came back downstairs after having dropped our bags off.  
  
“Yeah?” I asked, but by the way he was looking at me, I quickly understood; we’d been on a really long car journey and heck I could do with a pee myself. “Oh, sure thing… Um…” Suddenly the large staircase seemed far less agreeable than it ever had.  
  
“You wanna go upstairs, lads?” Sean asked, noting how I was glaring at the stairs.  
  
“Um, yeah,” I nodded, Matt didn’t say a word though, he just drummed his fingers against his thighs. He’d finally been allowed to ditch the sling, his collarbone having healed rather a bit the past several weeks, though we’d packed it knowing he may still need it; better to be safe than sorry.  
  
“Why don’t I carry the chair up and you take Matt, yeah?” he suggested.  
  
“Sure, sounds good, thank you,” I agreed with a smile and he patted me on the back, before I went over and scooped Matt into my arms, his own moving to wrap around my neck, but his body was stiff. I knew he hated to be seen as so helpless when it was just the two of us, but now in front of my family… well it was that much worse.  
  
Luckily everyone else was busy with what they were doing, Dad having gone over to chat to the children, as I followed after Sean and the chair up the stairs.  
  
“There we go,” he grinned, putting the chair down for me so I could the put Matt back in it. “Don’t either of you hesitate to ask for assistance, I’m only too happy to help out.” And with that, he ruffled Matt’s lengthy hair and headed back down the stairs. It only took one look at Matt’s facial expression to know how he felt at having his hair ruffled.  
  
“Oh relax, Matt. He meant nothing by it, it’s how Sean shows affection,” I tried to assure him, as I then pushed him down the passage toward my old childhood bedroom.  
  
“Ugh, it’s not like I’m a pet or child though for fuck’s sake. So condescending,” he grumbled nonetheless, as I opened my door, ‘DOMINIC’ still written in animal alphabet letters from when I was a kid on it, and then pushed him inside.  
  
“Well, this is my room,” I said instead, to try end his complaining.  
  
“And your parents haven’t changed it at all?” he asked, looking around and taking in some of the posters I had on the walls, my overflowing bookcase also crammed with photos and trophies on the shelves and atop it as well as books and a couple wind mobiles dangling from my ceiling.  
  
“Nah, they say it reminds them of me, so they like it like this. Thankfully I got a double bed the last year I lived here, or I’d still only have the single,” I explained, before pushing him toward my en suite. “I’m afraid the bathroom connects to both my sister’s and my room, but hey, at least it’s close, yeah?”  
  
He just shrugged though, uncharacteristically quiet Matt back again. So, knowing I wouldn’t really get the snide comments about my room and some of the questionable posters I had on my walls, like I’d always imagined Matt would hit me with if he ever saw inside my childhood room, I just helped him over to the loo.  
  
The doctors still weren’t keen for him to use crutches yet, due to the strain it would put on his healing shoulder, and as this bathroom obviously didn’t have the temporary bars I’d set up in Matt’s en suite back home so he could get out his chair, he’d need my help to use the lav again this weekend, much to his further frustration. Personally I was kind of in better favour of this, as I knew it hurt Matt to put pressure on his shoulder when he used the bars, but naturally the stubborn fucker didn’t let it stop him…  
  
Having helped him, I then went to unpack a few things from our bags while I waited for him. It felt weird being back in my old room, which it never had before, Matt’s presence more than likely the reason for this. I hadn’t ever brought a boyfriend back home before of course.  
  
When he was done, I helped him back into his chair and went to take a slash myself, my bladder dying, as he wheeled himself back into my room – another thing I wasn’t yet so keen on due to the added strain.  
  
“How long _have_ you known Kirk?” I heard Matt then call out to me as I washed my hands.  
  
“Um, we meet in high school, we’ve been mates for a while actually,” I replied, now drying my hands off, before going to peer over his shoulder and see the photo he was staring at.  
  
I of course already knew what photo he held in his hands now, the hideous thing framed by my excitable mother years and years ago. And sure enough, there it was, Tom and I with our mops of overly long hair, mine easily as long as Matt’s currently was, with colourful marker pen messages written all over our school shirts, signifying the end of our school careers.  
  
“You were a bit of a geek, weren’t you?” he commented, earning him a playful wack to the side of his head, as he sniggered a little.  
  
“Please, your hair looks pretty much the same,” I pointed out, as he put the picture back on the shelf, next to the others which included ones of my family, both my parent’s and Beth’s wedding photos as well as a more recent one of Chris, Tom, Jess and I, as well as Kevin… Yeah, I’d have to crop it now to exclude Jess’ ex, luckily he was on the end.  
  
“I guess…” he shrugged, before I spun his chair around so he was facing me and the rest of the room.  
  
“We should maybe get it cut, yeah? Let’s not forget you having practically forced me to cut mine when we first got together.” By now, despite having cut it once or twice since, my hair was back to about that same shaggy length I personally loved.  
  
“Well, it’s not like I’m working or anything, I don’t have to look professional,” he mumbled in response, the mood instantly dropping again, his eyes now trained on his foot in the cast, the tips of his long toes just poking out.  
  
“Aw, Matt,” I sighed, not knowing what to say. I already knew he was convinced he’d never work as a war correspondent again, despite mine (and his doctors’ I might add) reassurances he’d make a full recovery. He just had to give it time. Naturally, though, I still wasn’t sure I’d be willing to let him put himself in harms way again regardless…  
  
“Don’t worry about it. Sorry. I think I just need to go to sleep, maybe I’ll feel a little better then, you know sitting for a long time hurts my hip and we were in the car for quite a while,” Matt said, pushing himself beside the bed.  
  
“Are you sure, Matt? What about supper and everything?” I asked, concerned, but moved to help Matt on the bed, before he hurt himself in an attempt to get on by himself.  
  
“Yeah, I’m not really hungry. Just need a few pain pills and sleep. I’m sorry,” he explained, already attempting to take his thick jumper off.  
  
“Well, okay then,” I said, moving to help him out of the thick woolen jersey, but he protested.  
  
“Dom, I’m not completely helpless, I can take my own fucking jersey off at least, please.”  
  
Raising my hands in front of me in surrender, I backed away, trying my best not to let his harshly spoken words get to me. I knew he was frustrated with it all and hadn’t been feeling himself lately, mix that in with the fact he was in pain, it was kind of to be expected.  
  
“Here, let me at least help with your shoe,” I said, doing so and freeing him from the trainer on his right foot and then his sock. “I guess I’ll go get a glass of water so long so you can take the meds then?” I asked, watching him struggled with his jersey, but now knowing he’d probably bite my head off if I tried to assist again.  
  
“Yeah, whatever,” he grunted, wrestling with the damn thing, so I left him to it, shutting the door behind me.  
  
“Dinner’s nearly ready, Nicky, you should probably get Matthew back down here so long,” Mom said as she stirred a pot of gravy over the stove, when I got to the kitchen.  
  
“Um, he’s actually not going to eat. He’s very tired so wants to just go to sleep; the car journey took a lot out of him. So I’m just getting him a glad of water so he can take some meds,” I explained apologetically, as I got a glass out of one of the cabinets.  
  
“Shame, how is he doing?” Beth then asked from where she was now feeding her toddler Ally. "He's looking so skinny."  
  
“Um, some days are better than others. He’s mainly just frustrated about how much he has to depend on other people’s help. He’s been going to therapy though, as well as doing a lot of physical therapy,” I explained, going over to give my youngest niece a quick kiss to the top of her head. “His doctors say he should make a good recovery, what with him still being young and fit.”  
  
“Oh wow, poor guy though, I can imagine it must be all very difficult,” Beth nodded, wiping her daughters face then with her bib when she’d tried spitting out some of her food.  
  
“What’s hurting now?” Mum asked, watching me pour water from the fridge into the glass.  
  
“His hip. Sitting for long periods of time hurts him,” I replied, then putting the jug back in the fridge.  
  
“Hmm, makes sense, poor thing. Well just ask him if he’d like me to maybe bring some food up to him,” she insisted, moving to give my arm a squeeze before returning to her cooking.  
  
“Sure, thanks, Mum.”  
  
When I returned to the room, it was to find Matt grimacing in pain; his bad arm was still stuck in the jersey while the other was already free from even his tee, revealing a good portion of the pale skin of his torso. “Shit, Matt,” I cursed, quickly putting down the glass of water on the bedside table, before going to help free him of his clothes. “Are you alright?”  
  
He just nodded, his eyes scrunched shut as he gritted his teeth.  
  
“Hey, Matt, it’s okay, baby,” I tried to reassure him, moving to get up on the bed beside him and hold him. It was obvious he was trying to not cry from the frustration of it all, more so than whatever pain he’d caused himself.  
  
“I’m supposed to be getting better, but I can’t even take my own fucking top off,” he argued, but I just held him closer, brushing aside his long fringe, so that I could kiss his temple.  
  
“Matt, you need to give yourself a gap, you’re pushing too hard. Your body still needs time to heal properly.”  
  
When he didn’t then reply, I got up to go get his toiletries, where his meds were kept and popped a few painkillers into my hand, before getting the glass of water and handing them to Matt, who thankfully no longer looked on the brink of tears. I would never get used to seeing the man reduced to tears, nor the way it tore at my heart. After he took them, with me helping support him in a semi seated position, I snuck a peck to his nose before taking back the now empty glass and setting it aside.  
  
“Can I help you with your trousers?” I asked then, indicating the overly large track pants.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, doing his best to try lift his hips to assist me as I pulled the baggy pants off and cast them aside. I then got him a fresh tee to sleep in before helping him put it on and then getting him under the covers. “I’m sorry, Dom.”  
  
I looked up from where I was gathering his discarded clothes, so I could neatly tidy them away.  
  
“You know, for shouting at you and being stupid earlier,” he explained, eyes focused on his fingers fidgeting with the duvet cover.  
  
“It’s alright, baby. I know you were just frustrated, it’s okay,” I assured him, setting aside the clothes, before going to sit beside him on the bed.  
  
“No, it’s not. I have no right to treat you that way, especially after everything you do for me. In all honesty, I don’t deserve you and now I’m just pushing my luck with you… I don’t want to push you away though, even if it would probably be better for you that way.”  
  
“Nonsense. I’d be miserable without you. You won’t get rid of me easily, Bellamy,” I winked, before ruffling his hair ‘cause I now knew he hated it. “So, you sure you don’t wanna eat then? My mum’s offered to bring up some food and all – I could even bring it if you’d prefer.”  
  
“No, I’m alright, but tell her I say thank you, please; also that I’m sorry about not being there for dinner. We’ve barely been here an hour or so and I’m already ruining things,” he pouted miserably, but I just pulled him into my arms.  
  
“It’s okay, baby. They all understand. No one’s expecting anything of you, alright?” He at least nodded, before resting his head against my shoulder as I held him and continued to stroke my fingers through his hair in a way I hoped was soothing.  
  
By the time I heard my mom call up to me that dinner was on the table, Matt had fallen asleep, so I was careful to try slide out from under him and then left him to continue sleeping as I went down to eat with my family.  
  


 

***

  
  
  
  
“Aww, they’re adorable,” I cooed, sitting with a lap full of squirming kitten, another one was playing with my shoelace, while yet another was trying to scale my back up my jumper, the kids were playing with two more.  
  
“Yeah, they’re so sweet. Sootie being pregnant came as a bit of a surprise, but they’re all little wonders,” my mother grinned from where she was watching us and the kittens, sitting on one of the couches, my sister and Sean on the other one, while Dad was in his armchair. Ally had already been put to bed.  
  
“She’s quite an old girl, but they all came out well and she’s proving to be a good mother,” Dad added, stroking Sootie, who was rubbing against his shins while we played with her babies.  
  
“We’re taking two of them, as six cats is a bit of a strain for Mum and Dad, plus the kids adore them. Maybe you should too? I mean, if Mum can bare parting with another,” Beth suggested with a grin and Mum nodded in agreement, just as Sean was rounding up the kids to take them to bed, the kittens going back in their blanket filled box by the hearth.  
  
“You’ve always been fond of animals, Dom, ever since you were a kid,” Dad now nodded too, the whole family clearly agreeing that I should have one of the kittens. Before I could answer the kids said their goodnights and headed upstairs with their dad.  
  
“Um, I don’t know… I practically live at Matt’s now and I actually have no idea how he feels about cats, let alone if he will even want one in the apartment,” I shrugged, finding it a bit uncomfortable to be the centre of attention now instead of the kittens.  
  
“You’re living with him now?” Beth asked, a giant grin worming its way onto her face.  
  
“Well, yeah, I’m caring for Matt, due to his, well, injuries,” I explained, feeling my father’s gaze on me burning.  
  
“I don’t see why he can’t get a nurse or something, or where’s his family even? Why should you have to be his carer?” Dad sniffed, raising an eyebrow.  
  
No doubt seeing the way my eyebrows furrowed and my expression hardened, Mum was quick to answer before I could. “Because Nicky wants to do it. You know how upset he was when Matthew was taken; now that he has him back it only makes sense that he wants to help him. Plus, he only has his dad, remember, Brendan?”  
  
“Yes, plus he’s my _boyfriend_ , Dad. This is what we do for our partners, I’d do anything to help him, whether or not you approve of him,” I said, scooping up the remaining kittens and putting them in the box with the others, Sootie already nestled with them. “When are you going to understand the fact that him and I are together? We’re a couple, just like you and Mum! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same for her?”  
  
“Well, of course I would, but it’s different–”  
  
“Why, because we’re both men?!” I demanded, my cool long since having been lost.  
  
He was such a great father and I knew him to be a great man too, but why did he always have to be so damn pig ignorant and stupid when it came to the fact that I was in a relationship with another man. Sure he’d said he’d come to terms with the fact that I was gay, but it was clear he still didn’t quite get that that meant I also wanted to act on the fact and be with a man.  
  
“Now, Dominic, there’s no need to shout. I’ve told you I think that Matthew seems a perfectly nice young man and that I have no problem with him. It’s just… well, you’re still young–”  
  
“I’m older than Beth was when she had the twins for Christ’s sake! Ugh, you know what, I’m just gonna go to bed – which obviously has Matthew in it – and leave you to it,” I said, shaking my head and made to leave.  
  
“Wait, Nicky sweetie, your dad’s just worried about you is all. Yes he’s showing it in the wrong manner, but he is. We both are. We just want to make sure that you’re not forgetting to look after yourself in all this too.”  
  
“Mum, I am. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine, Matt needs me and I’m only too happy to help him, even if Dad doesn’t quite understand why. I _love_ the man, I’m looking after myself just by making sure he’s okay and having him around.” Then, not really wanting to stay around for whatever reactions they may have over the fact I’d just confessed I was in love with Matthew, I hightailed it off to my room, calling a rushed goodnight behind myself.  
  
When I then stripped down to my boxers, having shut and locked my bedroom door (an unlocked door in a house with kids never being a good idea), I slid into bed beside Matt, quick to curl my body around his sleeping form, my left arm wrapping around his torso. When I then found that his tee had ridden up a bit in his sleep to uncover some of the warm, silky-smooth flesh of his tummy, I couldn’t resist caressing it with me fingers as I buried my nose into his neck, his long strands of hair tickling me and his scent surrounding and instantly calming me.  
  
“Hmms’ticklish,” he mumbled sleepily, wiggling slightly, my index finger lightly swirling through the thin trail of hair which made up his happy trail.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Wasn’t thinking,” I apologised, pressing a kiss to his jaw, as I flattened my hand and rubbed light circles into his tummy instead.  
  
“Mms’okay, s’kinda nice,” he mumbled then, eyes still closed and voice thick with sleep. Due to the sedative effects of his strong pain medication, he was clearly still a little out of it, his sleepy talk and expression warming my heart. I didn’t care what my father thought, there was nothing I wouldn’t do for Matt; the man I loved.  
  
“Yeah, it is?” I asked, nuzzling into his neck more, his arms soon wrapping around me as I left little kisses against the soft skin of his neck, making him hum sweetly to himself, as his breathing then slowly began to even out once more as he clearly fell back asleep easily. “I love you, you silly man.”  
  


 

~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
  
  
  
“Thanks, Dom,” I mumbled, as Dom helped pull my jersey on me and then smoothed my damp hair out of my eyes.  
  
After yesterday’s little outburst, I’d decided to just give up and let him help me. It felt awful to be so helpless, but he’d been right; my body was just not ready yet, I couldn’t do it all alone. Even so, a shower where I’d literally had to be supported against his chest, the two on us on the tile floor of the small shower as he washed me, was still a tough pill to swallow and make peace with.  
  
“It’s only a pleasure, seriously, Matt,” he smiled and gave the tip of my nose a quick peck before he moved away. “I think I should go hunt down a hairdryer, I don’t want you getting a cold and considering how long that mop of hair’s gotten, it’ll take forever to dry without one. I can’t believe I forgot my own… maybe Beth’ll lend me hers…”  
  
“Dom, it’s fine. Don’t fuss.”  
  
“It’s alright, after all, it’s not just your hair I’m worried about. My hair get’s more tangled if I just leave it to dry,” he winked and ran his fingers through his own wet hair, before going to find Beth.  
  
It didn’t take him long to return, victoriously waving about the bright pink hairdryer he’d managed to acquire, having left me only enough time to wheel over to the bookshelf and look at his photos again.  
  
“Oh, nice,” I commented, taking in the neon quality of the pinkness of the hairdryer.  
  
“Oi, beggars can’t be choosers, and anyway, I actually rather like it,” he defended it, before saying due to his hair being shorter; he’d dry his first. So I then sat in my chair and watched the flashy blond he is, drying and combing his hair ever so meticulously in the mirror he had on the wall, before finishing with a flourish and moving onto my own hair.  
  
“Ow, goddammit, Dom! You’ll make me bald at this rate!” I couldn’t help screeching as he viciously hacked away at some knots that had formed, making me curse the fact that my shoulder was most certainly not ready for me to dry my own hair yet.  
  
“Sorry, sorry, almost got it out… almost, and… there! See, it’s alright now,” he tried to reassure me then, turning the dryer back on as he returned to drying my now knot-free hair.  
  
“Easy for you to say,” I grumbled, but he just ignored me until he finally finished, our eyes meeting in the mirror. His proud of the work he’d done and mine narrowed at him, my scalp still tender, earning me a funny face and a pulled tongue from him.  
  
“Well, there we go then, let’s go get some breakfast, yeah?” he suggested, stooping to brush aside my dark hair to kiss my cheek.  
  
“Yeah, if there’s still any left… you should have gone and eaten first, it took so long to help me, I’m sure your family’s already beginning on lunch. In reply, he just playfully swatted my good shoulder, before pushing me to the stairs, where we were reminded of their issue as a barrier due to my chair.  
  
“SEAN!” Dom then called, before the man in question came bounding up the stairs and offered his assistance with taking my wheelchair down, while Dom carried me down to it.  
  
Breakfast then turned out to be a very simple affair anyway, with Dom's mother and sister and the kids out for a walk and Sean and Brendan going off to go buy some more firewood, leaving just the two of us to eat our toast in peace. To be quite honest, it was definitely a relief. Sadly, though, the peace didn't last for long, the others getting back from their walk just as Dom and I had settled down on the sofa with some books (he'd asked that we stay downstairs instead of disappearing back up into his room the way I wanted to).  
  
Naturally then, the kids had decided it was the best time to watch a movie and with Dom showing no signs of wanting to move, I'd been stuck lying on the couch, my feet in his lap with a blanket over us, while he helped suggest a good 'Christmassy' film and put aside our books. Of course they bloody well then decided on _The Snowman_.  
  
"Matthew?" the little boy, whose name escaped me, asked unexpectedly then, while his grandmother set up the movie and his mum settled down on the couch beside us, the kids on the rug before us.  
  
'Jamie,' Dom then luckily mouthed to me when my eyes turned to him, no doubt looking like a deer caught in the headlights, his fingers massaging into the ball of my foot that wasn’t in a cast.  
  
"Y-yeah, um, Jamie?" I managed to stammer out, feeling completely cornered and trying to sink deeper into the couch cushions.  
  
"What happened to your leg?" he asked, his little blue eyes trained right on me. Unfortunately I found I couldn't sink any deeper into the cushions.  
  
"Jamie, not now sweetie," Beth tried to rein him in, shooting me an apologetic look. "Matthew doesn't want to talk about that."  
  
"It's okay, Beth," Dom was quick to assure his sister, his eyes looked at me apologetically then anyway, before he turned his attention to the little boy, his twin sister now also watching me intently. And still the cushions would not give any more. “Jamie, love, Matthew was in an accident and some–”  
  
"I was shot by a pirate,” I just cut him off, wanting to just get to the chase and be done with it.  
  
“A pirate?! COOL!" Jamie grinned happily, before both he and his sister suddenly began to bombard me with excitable questions about the pirate and why he'd had a gun and not a sword. Thankfully then, though, the movie began and Dom's mum and sister finally managed to put an end to their insistent nagging.  
  
"C'mon, leave poor Matthew alone; let's watch the film," Dom's mum said, giving me a little apologetic smile, as she brushed past to join Beth on the sofa.  
  
I felt Dom then squeeze my foot, prompting me to look over at him, earning me a smile and a mouthed 'You okay?' I just nodded in reply, grateful that the kids were now watching telly. It was certainly going to be a long and trying Christmas break.


	38. Chapter 38

"See, they like you!" Dom's niece, Izzy, declared, scratching the neck of one of the kittens that were running all over me.  
  
"Erm, I think it's 'cause they don't have much choice," I pointed out, and as if to prove this, Izzy scooped up one of the kittens that tried to escape and plonked it back atop me.  
  
"No, she's right, they absolutely adore you!" Dom giggled from where he was sat on the adjacent sofa. I just shot Dom a death glare, unable to give him the finger on account of the kids.  
  
He'd left me lying on the other couch and the kids, who'd clearly seemed to form some kind of infatuation with me, had decided to bring over some kittens their grandparents' cat had had, in yet another excuse to bother me. So now I had five balls of fur scampering around on top of me, while the kids kneeled beside me and played with them. I felt like a glorified kiddies play table.  
  
"This one's mine," Jamie informed me, roughly stroking the poor ginger kitten, thankfully though it didn't seem to mind much and rubbed back against him.  
  
"And this one's mine!" Izzy then felt the need to tell me too, picking up one of the two tabbies and cuddling it up against her.  
  
"Um, that's... nice," I offered, not quite sure what to say in response. I never knew what to say to children. A quick glance in Dom's direction proved this all to be too amusing for him as he tried to muffle giggles.  
  
"Which one are you and Uncle Dom taking? Or are you taking two?" Izzy asked, looking at me rather primly.  
  
"Sorry?" I asked, confused, and looking over at Dom questioningly.  
  
"Um, well, Mum wanted to know if we could maybe take one? Just 'cause there are so many, and I told her I'd think about it," Dom shrugged sheepishly. "They're really cute though, aren't they? And you're clearly not allergic..."  
  
"Seriously, Dom?" I asked, getting pretty pissed off with how presumptuous he was being and knew he could tell by the way he was getting that whole 'deer in the headlights look' he gets whenever he knows I'm angry with him.  
  
Just then, though, Beth called the twins over, wanting them to help set the table for lunch, both her and Dom's mum having been hard at work in the kitchen, though I suspect a lot more gossiping and wine drinking had been going down than actual cooking. Heck, if I were married to their husbands, I'd probably also hide out in the kitchen for a while. As for the men, well they were in Brendan's 'man cave', AKA the attic, where he apparently had a whole mini pub going.  
  
"Look, Matt, I was gonna tell you. I just haven't really had a chance yet is all," Dom said as soon as the kids had run off, even moving to sit down on the floor beside me where they'd been.  
  
"Yeah, but it's more the fact that you were so presumptuous about it all. And where would the cat stay, eh? At yours, but then who would look after it when you were at mine? Or do you just mean to drag me over there too?" I asked, doing my best to keep my voice down, we were hardly alone in this crowded house.  
  
"Well, I don't know, I thought it could maybe stay at yours too? But seeing as you're clearly so against it, my apartment seems to be the place. And no one's forcing you to come stay at mine either, you can just get an actual fucking nurse if you're so against it all," he spat back, but then his eyes suddenly went wider and I could instantly see the regret wash over his features, but it was too late.  
  
There it was. The resentment. I'd known all along it would happen, was happening. He'd grown to resentment me, just like I said he would and he denied would happen and insisted he help me out. I'd been right all along.  
  
"Look, Matt, I didn't mea–"  
  
"No, Dominic, it's fine. It's not like I didn't know you felt like this. Fuck, I knew you would too... I can hardly blame you either. I'd resent me too," I said, looking away from his face to instead look at the kittens who were beginning to get sleepy and move toward their mother who was sat by my feet. "I'm sorry. I'll organise a nurse as soon as we get back to London."  
  
"Oh, come on, Matt, you don't have to. It's not like that at all, I didn't mean it like that, honest," he tried to insist. "I was just annoyed that you weren't even bothering to consider having a cat is all. And so then I was giving the options if you refused to have the cat at yours and didn't want to stay at mine."  
  
I just shrugged, not knowing what to say. He'd already made his views clear. He was pretty set on having a cat and who would I be if I got in the way of that, especially after everything he'd done for me. He also clearly didn't want to look after me anymore, which he could hardly be blamed for, so I would just get a nurse and stop being a burden. Problem solved.  
  
"Oh, Matt, don't be like this, please. I really didn–" Before he could finish with his needless apologies though, his mum was calling everyone over for food.  
  
  
                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Matt, I'm sorry, please forgive me," I asked, sitting down on the bed beside him, wanting to reach out and run my fingers through his hair and pull him close. There was nothing I hated more than upsetting Matt.  
  
After lunch I'd brought him back up to the room with Sean's help, something which was painfully obvious he hated every second of. As soon as I'd then put him back in his chair, he'd pushed himself off, before getting onto my bed, with quite a lot of effort, but I hadn't dared to interfere. Now he was just lying there on his back, head turned to stare blankly out the window and away from me.  
  
"Dom, it's fine. Just leave it," he said curtly, clearly in no mood to speak to me. He'd ignored me throughout lunch and had actually only ever spoken when the kids had asked him the odd question.  
  
I wasn't about to just leave it though, this had to be nipped in the bud before it became a serious issue between us.  
  
"No, Matt, it's not. I can tell you're still upset and that's the last thing I want. I never meant that to come out the way it did. I don't mind looking after you at all. I don't want you to get a nurse, honest."  
  
"You may not have meant to say it, but it's obvious you still meant it. You resent me, like I said you would. It's okay, Dominic, it's more than understandable," he replied, still not looking away from the window, snow gently falling outside, yet it felt even colder in here. "I'll get a nurse, I shouldn't have to be your responsibility."  
  
"Matt, stop being so goddamn stubborn, when I say I didn't mean it like that – that I don't resent you – that I'm more than happy to help you out whenever I can, I fucking mean it!" I was losing my cool, I couldn't help it, he was just so fucking stubborn, there was only so much I could take. "What will it take to get through your bloody thick skull that the last thing I feel towards you is resentment?! I love you, I'd do anything for you!"  
  
At this, Matt finally turned around to regard me, those piercing blue eyes of his scanning me over intensely.  
  
"Matt, let's not fight, please. It breaks my heart. I hate that you feel this way, but it's not true, honest. Soon you'll be better anyway and then you won't need me, but I'll still want to be around you all the time anyway. I love spending time with you, no matter what we're doing. If you don't want one of the kittens, then fine. I just want you at the end of the day."  
  
At this he then let out a deep sigh, "Which one do you want?"  
  
"Sorry?" I asked, confused.  
  
"The kittens, which one do you want?" he repeated.  
  
"Oh, you want one now?" I asked, still confused, now by his change of mind. "I don't want you to now feel pressured into getting one. If you don't want one, it's fine, really, Matt. You don't owe me anything."  
  
"Dominic, it's fine. I don't mind cats. You just have to pick one."  
  
"Seriously, so we're really gonna take a kitten home?" I asked just to be sure, still uncertain if this was what he really wanted.  
  
"Seriously," he nodded, rolling his eyes and I swear I hadn't smiled that widely in ages. "What?"  
  
"You just rolled your eyes," I explained when he looked rather taken aback at me.  
  
In response, he then just shrugged and I moved to lie properly beside him and pull him into my arms.  
  
"We can pick one together, okay?" I suggested, kissing the top of his head, after I helped move him so he could lie on his stomach, with the side of his face against my chest.  
  
"Sure," he agreed, voice somewhat muffled by my jumper, as I then began to run my fingers through his hair and hum absentmindedly. "You're off-tune."  
  
"Hush you," I playfully tsked, curling strands of his brown hair around my fingers, which made him giggle a little, the sound instantly soothing me.  
  
                                                                                                                   ***  
  
"Dom, dinner's ready, love." My mum's voice woke me up from what must have gone from an unintentional nap, to a proper snooze.  
  
Yawning and opening my eyes properly, I saw Mum leaning against the doorframe, while she held the door slightly open so that she could look in. Seeing I was more awake, she smiled back at me.  
  
"You two look so cute together," she gushed, grinning, prompting me to take note of Matt, who was still fast asleep, his body half on top of mine, while he drooled a little on my chest, long, dark lashes spread out across those sharp cheekbones of his, and his right hand gripping my shoulder possessively.  
  
"Uh, thanks," I shrugged, before realising what I should have from the start. She was holding her old Polaroid camera and, before I could say another word, she quickly snapped a pic of the two of us. "Mum!"  
  
"Sorry, dear, I couldn't resist. It'll go great with the one I took earlier of the two of you and the kittens. I need more photos of my baby all grown up and in love," she grinned, completely unrepentant, before leaving after she'd reminded me again of dinner and that she'd send Sean up.  
  
"Was that your mum?" The sleepy question made me look back down at Matt, who'd lifted his head up a bit and was now wiping some of the drool away from his chin. "Oi, I can't help it," he then felt the need to say, cheeks pinkening.  
  
"Yeah, it was; dinner's ready. And it's alright, it's cute when you do it," I said with a wink, before leaning in to kiss the tip of his nose. "Now up we get, we've got a Christmas Eve feast to look forward to."  
  
  
                                                                                                            ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Uncle Dom?"  
  
"Yes, Izzy?" Dom asked his niece, the girl sitting opposite me, between her brother and mother at the dinner table.  
  
"When are you and Matthew gonna get married?"  
  
I just about choked on my potato wedge and a quick glance around the table proved I wasn't the only one taken aback by the little girl's question. Dom's father even going so far as to cough after his poorly timed sip of wine.  
  
"Izzy!" Beth shouted, her cheeks going as pink as mine felt they'd gone.  
  
"No, Beth, it's okay," Dom waved his sister's concern away, before turning his attention back to the little girl. "Now why do you ask that, love?"  
  
"Well, when I asked Mum who Matthew was, she said he was your boyfriend, so I was curious when you'd get married. I wanna be a flower girl," she explained, completely nonchalant about it all, before scooping up a mouthful of peas.  
  
"Can I be one too?" Jamie was then asking, Brendan's eyes really blowing wide at this.  
  
"Um, that's for the girls, son. I'm sure Dom and Matt wouldn't mind you being a ring bearer though? Then you'll get to hold the rings," Sean offered, his response completely different to Dom's dad's.  
  
"Ooh, cool!" Jamie clearly had no objection with his father's suggestion. I on the other hand, was still trying to get my breath back. I couldn't quite believe how calm Dom was about it all.  
  
"I better be a bridesmaid then, Dommy," Beth winked, clearly over her bit of embarrassment and wanting to tease her brother.  
  
"Are there even bridesmaids at a wedding where there isn't a bride?" Dom's mum wondered aloud, also appearing completely unfussed about it all. "Or do they all have to be groomsmen, what about 'groomswomen'? That might be an idea."  
  
Was it really just Mr. Howard and I that were so horrified by all this wedding talk?!  
  
When I looked over at Dom searchingly, however, he just grinned and shrugged, before looking down at his food, cheeks flushed.  
  
 _Shit. Bloody fucking hell, this is the last thing I need right now._  
  
  
                                                                                                    ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"Matt, about earlier–"  
  
"Dom, don't worry about it," he cut me off, before I could even begin to talk about what had happened at dinner. We were sitting on one of the sofas, keeping our voices hushed, Beth and Sean were in the other and Dad was in his armchair, while Mum helped the kids pick out a present each that they would open.  
  
It was a Howard family tradition to open a single present on Christmas Eve, so we had all gathered around, the telly was off and the hearth was warming the room up, while the kids ran around the tree shaking and feeling all their presents as they tried to pick which one they'd open.  
  
"You're not supposed to shake them, just now there's something fragile inside," Beth warned the twins, baby Ally sleeping in her arms. She'd gone to wake up the toddler after dinner, but she clearly still wasn't done sleeping.  
  
"You're not upset, are you?" I still needed to ask Matt, keeping my voice down.  
  
"No. It was just a bit of silly chatter over dinner, I'm fine," he replied, scooping up one of the kittens that were running all over him, Sootie curled up on his stomach. For someone who had put up such a fuss about having one of the kittens, he sure seemed quite popular with the little furballs.  
  
I decided to just leave it at that, I was in no mood to fight anymore, so I picked up one of the tabbies to cuddle, while I watched the twins still struggling to choose.  
  
"C'mon, kids, pick your presents already; before Christmas would be great," Sean laughed and in the corner of my eye I'm sure I saw Matt roll his eyes, while Beth giggled at her husband's lame joke.  
  
One thing was for sure, if Matt and I did ever get married, we'd certainly be a very different couple from the two of them...  
  
In the end, both kids settled for the gifts Matt and I had gotten them (I'd had to drag him off to the big toy store at the mall to go shopping for them, secretly I know he'd loved it though, despite all the complaining he'd done). We'd picked out Lego for them both, some vet themed one for Izzy, who loved animals, and some spaceship one for Jamie (mainly because secretly I could tell the child in Matt loved it best).  
  
Thankfully both had been a success and now the kids were busy building away in front of the tree, while the adults drank gluhwein and chatted.  
  
"Matthew?"  
  
"Yes?" Matt turned away from the tiny black kitten he'd been playing with for the past half-hour straight (I'm pretty sure I know which kitten we're gonna take), to look at my mum, who was holding out something wrapped in bright red wrapping paper.  
  
"Usually it's only the kids that open up a present on Christmas Eve, but I thought it'd be nice if you opened this one from me now too. It'll make more sense maybe tomorrow," she explained, while he struggled to sit up a bit straighter from where he was lying on the couch, feet on my lap as usual, and put down his mug, before he accepted the parcel.  
  
"Um, thank you, you really didn't have to–" he began, but Mum just waved him off.  
  
"It's nothing, really, Matthew. I'm just happy you're here, spending Christmas with us."  
  
Cheeks flushed, Matt began to carefully open up the soft package, which I already had a sneaky suspicion that I knew what it contained. Sure enough, the red wrapping paper gave way to fluffy, red wool.  
  
"I hope you like it, Dom said you were rather fond of red," Mum explained, still standing tentatively beside Matt, who then picked up the scarlet, hand knit jersey, which had a white and black patterned design around the torso and sleeves, which included snowflakes and reindeer.  
  
"Oh, wow, I don't know what to say, thank you so much," Matt thanked her, face still flushed as he held it up.  
  
"It's only a great pleasure," Mum grinned, before stooping to plant a kiss to the top of his head, making him go even pinker.  
  
"Impressive, she only made me one after my second Christmas," Sean informed Matt, after Mum had gone off to help Beth put Ally to bed.  
  
"Well, to be fair, you had just knocked up her daughter and had had a shotgun wedding before the first Christmas," I said, taking a sip of my gluhwein, but unable to hold back a grin as I did so.  
  
"True," Sean laughed with a shrug, sitting down on the armrest beside me. "If you think Brendan's a bit frosty with you, Matt, you should've seen him around me!"  
  
Luckily Dad had fallen asleep in his armchair at some point and so was oblivious to our conversation.  
  
"He's not kidding, that's one Christmas holiday I'll never forget," I informed Matt with a smile, as I handed my empty mug to Sean, who then put it on the coffee table.  
  
"Wow, I can imagine... but he certainly seems to have warmed up to you now," Matt pointed out, reaching out to stop the kittens from climbing their mother, who looked rather fed up and tired of them all.  
  
"Yeah, well, he's had a good seven or so years to get used to me. You'll grow on him too, don't worry," Sean assured Matt, reaching out to scoop up the little ginger kitten. "Damn these little guys are full of energy all of a sudden and just in time for bed too; so typical, eh, Soot?"  
  
"Seems you and Sootie can relate on that," I laughed, nudging my head in the direction of the twins, Izzy's little vet station under attack from Jamie and his spaceship, the two beginning to shout and fight.  
  
"Ugh, never have children," he groaned, before putting the kitten back on Matt and getting up to go break up the fight.  
  
"What colour's yours?" Matt then suddenly asked, prompting me to look over at him quizzically. "Jersey, what colour did your mum make yours? Or is it just the partners that get?"  
  
"Oh no, we all have. Um, my current one's blue, with snowmen, I had a green Christmas tree one before it and a multicoloured one before that (around about the same time I came out, it was Mum's way of showing support) and yeah, a few others before those," I shrugged, suddenly only then realising I'd been absentmindedly massaging his foot.  
  
"A multicoloured one? I'll bet your dad loved it. Please tell me you still have it," he laughed, wiggling his toes a bit when I pressed my thumb into the sole of his foot, now committed to giving him a proper foot massage.  
  
"He sure did," I couldn't resist winking, "And of course I do, but it's from when I was like 17, so it doesn't fit anymore. Though... you're a bit smaller than me and you're rather skinny at the mo–"  
  
"Nope, don't even try suggest it, Dom. This red reindeer one's just fine, thank you."  
  
"Aww, you'll look so cute in it though! I can see it now!"  
  
"Nah-uh, no ways. Now please, help free me of all these cats. I've drunk way too much gluhwein, I'm bursting," Matt said, already starting to plonk kittens on the floor, while Sean was marching the twins up to bed.  
  
By the time Sean came back down to help me get Matt upstairs, I'd already gotten the kittens and their mum settled in their box by the dying hearth and Matt into his wheelchair. I'd also woken up Dad, who was now busy turning off lights and locking up for the night.  
  
"Dom," Matt said a little while later then, having relieved himself, the two of us now in my room, the door locked, as I tried to free him of his track pants, which always seemed to get caught on his cast.  
  
"Yeah, Matt?"  
  
"I think I'm pretty tipsy," he announced with a giggle, as I finally got the trousers free and yanked them off.  
  
"Yeah, I think that's definitely safe to say," I chuckled, looking down at him grinning dopily away in just his boxers, tee and the sock on his good foot. "You definitely got in a rather good mood after present choosing began and the gluhwein came out."  
  
"Hmm, yeah," was his wise response as he nodded, before just toppling flat on his back, his elbows giving out beneath him.  
  
"Shit, Matt, are you okay?" I asked, worriedly getting onto the bed to help him back up, concerned about his shoulder, but he just gigglingly waved me away. "You're such a lightweight," I chuckled, choosing to just lay down beside him.  
  
"It's the painmeds, they make my tolerance turn to zilch," he explained very matter-of-factly, expression suddenly very serious.  
  
"Hmm, makes sense," I nodded, trying to mirror his tone, but then ruined it all by bursting into giggles, which prompted him to start giggling again too. "Wow, I forgot how much fun you are drunk."  
  
"Oi, are you tryina say I'm no fun sober?!" Matt demanded looking taken aback.  
  
"No, not at all. You can be loads of fun both ways," I quickly assured him, poking him in the ribs which resulted in loud, hysterical giggles and wiggles.  
  
I just watched him until his body stopped spazzing out (the grin on his face assuring me he wasn't getting sore) and he lay there, madly panting for air. His tee had ridden up in the process of it all, so I could see his (still worryingly skinny) tummy rising and falling madly. I couldn't resist.  
  
"DOM!!" he squealed loudly as I blew noisy, wet raspberries against the flawlessly pale flesh of his tummy, making him shriek and giggle away. I only stopped then when I heard loud knocking coming from the other side of the bathroom door.  
  
"Dom! Keep it down, you wankers are gonna wake up Ally!" Beth called through the door then too, luckily she didn't sound too annoyed at least, just understandably worried about her toddler waking.  
  
"Sorry!" I called back, before turning back to look at Matt, who had pulled the neckline of his tee up over his face until just below his sparkling blue eyes, which were crinkling in the corners as he tried to not laugh. "Oops," I whispered with a shrug and grin, prompting a snort to escape from Matt as he desperately tried to keep his giggle fit internalised. Damn, he could just be so bloody cute sometimes.  
  
"I didn't mean to be so loud," he explained, voice muffled by his top.  
  
"It's alright. I don't think they're too annoyed. Anyway, it was more than worth it to see you smile and giggle like that. It's been far too long."  
  
"Sorry, I don't mean to bring the mood down so much," he apologised, pulling his tee back down.  
  
"Aww, Matt, it's alright. After everything you've been through, it's small wonder why you're not sunshine and rainbows 24/7," I assured him, moving to pull the duvet back a bit.  
  
After I helped get him snuggled up, I went to go take a much needed pee myself, planning to return for some more (but softer of course) giggles and cuddling, only to then discover Matt had promptly passed out in my brief absence.  
  
"Typical Matt Bellamy right there," I muttered, but couldn't hold back an affectionate smile, as I stripped down to my boxers, before turning off the light and climbing in to join him.


	39. Chapter 39

  
“I’m so sorry, Dom. Fuck, I can’t believe it slipped my mind; especially after everything you’ve done – _do_ – for me! Now I really am the worst boyfriend ever,” I apologised yet again, I doubted I’d ever be done apologising for forgetting; I’d really fucked up. I certainly doubted I’d ever really be able to make it up to him; after all, one does only have one once a year and that’s not mentioning the fact that it was his first in our relationship.

“Matt, it’s fine, really. I mean, I practically forgot it was my birthday too. Anyway, there were more important things to worry about, like the fact that you’d just got out of the hospital. It’s perfectly understandable that you were preoccupied with your situation. I already had you safe and home with me; after the last few months leading up to then, it was the best birthday I could have wanted,” Dominic insisted to assure me.

Despite his words and assurances, I still felt awful. I mean, for fuck’s sake, Matthew, the least I could’ve done was remember and actually even wish him a happy birthday.

During the Christmas gift unwrapping a little while earlier, Dom’s parents had come up to give him something extra: an envelope containing two tickets for a flight to Greece. It was their ‘late birthday present’ to him and they’d informed him that they also intended to pay for accommodation.

This of course hit me completely off-guard and made me feel like an absolute idiot, as I’d completely let Dom’s birthday pass by without even remembering it, let alone give him a gift myself. It had been weeks ago! So I’d ended up just sitting there like a moron, while he’d thanked them a lot and his mum had grinned at me and happily informed me that the other ticket was intended for me.

Well I certainly didn’t deserve that even before, but now? Yeah, not a chance.

“Dom, it isn’t. I mean, sure it’s shitty that I didn’t give you anything, but I didn’t even acknowledge the fact with a simple ‘happy birthday’; I mean, what would that have taken from me? Not a lot and considering all that you’ve done for me, that’s just not good enough. You see, you do deserve so much better than me,” I argued.

“C’mon, Matt. We’ve had this conversation like a billion times: I want you, okay? I want no one else and so what if you forgot my birthday? If it really meant so much to me, I would have reminded you; instead I was more concerned with helping you and worrying about your needs. I wouldn’t change a thing if I could go back in time,” he persisted, his hands now on the armrests of my wheelchair as he leaned in close to me, trapping me.

I’d made the excuse of needing to go to the bathroom a little while after he’d been presented with the gift, in order of getting him alone so I could apologise. We were now in his room, the door thankfully shut and providing some privacy from his family, who I’d hate to find out that I was even more of a failure as a boyfriend than I’m sure they already suspected.

I just sighed, having to realise Dom was not about to change his tune; the man truly was stubborn to the point where I had nothing on him.

“What did we even do that day?” I asked, curious and hoping it wasn’t on one of my bad, shaky days.

“Lay in bed together and watched movies all day and ate junk food; like I said: I wouldn’t change a thing,” he grinned and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “So please, let’s just forget about this and start looking forward to lazy days spent on the beach, eating good food and checking out ancient architecture. We’ll wait till you’re better of course.”

“Dom–” I was ready to argue about how I didn’t deserve to go on the trip and that we didn’t know how long it would even take for me to ‘get better’, but knowing me too well, he immediately cut me off.

“Matt, no. No arguing. Instead, can I just say how bloody cute you are in that jumper?” he grinned and winked, making my cheeks flush self-consciously. “That’s better, now come, let’s go back and join the others.”

And just like that the issue was closed, I knew he would just shut me down if I even tried to bring it up again, but that still didn’t make me feel any less guilty. It was ridiculous, I felt like a giant ball of guilt. The emotion seemed to just constantly keep growing. I was beginning to worry it may just crush and suffocate me.

***

“Well, don’t you look... pretty,” Dominic giggled, watching Izzy plaiting my hair and Jamie drawing away on my leg cast, as I lay on the couch, my long hair apparently more exciting than all their new Christmas presents.

“Hey I’m just the entertainment,” I answered, making the little girl giggle as she continued tugging and plaiting my hair and the boy grin as he drew what appeared to be a fire breathing dragon on my shin.

“This is true,” Dom grinned, before moving to perch on the couch beside my shoulder. “Would you mind if I joined in, Izzy love?”

“’Course not!” I could practically hear the smile in her voice from where she stood behind my head and out of view. I then had two pairs of hands, big and small, playing and fussing over my hair.

“Aww,” I then heard Beth coo, prompting me to look in her direction, just in time to see a bright flash of light.

Momentarily blinded, I had to blink a few times, before I could make out Dom’s mum, who was grinning happily along with Beth and Sean, her Polaroid in hand. Fucking fab, now there was photographic evidence.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Well he certainly does a lot of sleeping,” Beth pointed out, her and Mum sitting on the one couch, while I sat on the other one with Matt, his feet in place, cast and all, atop my lap, as he slept and the three of us drank gluhwein (one of my favourite things about Christmas).

“Well your father and husband are sleeping now too,” Mum pointed out, before taking a sip of her drink. The two of them had indeed excused themselves once they’d finished cleaning up after Christmas lunch, to go and sleep off their bloated stomachs from the veritable feast we’d all indulged in.

“Yeah, it’s from all the food, plus Matt’s pain meds; he takes them after meals,” I pointed out, looking over to the man in question’s peacefully sleeping face. “You have to remember his body’s still trying to heal itself, it takes a lot of energy.”

“Fair enough, I was just saying,” Beth shrugged, cradling her cup between her hands.

“It’s funny to think, but the two of you are in the same position that you were in that first night I met Matthew; yet so much has changed since,” Mum mused. “I’m glad he came home; the two of you make a lovely couple, I’m so happy for you, Nicky.”

“Thanks, Mum. That means a lot.”

“It’s true and I feel the same way,” Beth smiled, “Even if you two were certainly not in the same position as now when I first met Matt!”

“Beth!” I warned her, but when Mum looked at her questioningly, the loud mouth she can be, she couldn’t resist.

“Let’s just say Matt was bent over and completely starkers when I walked into Dom’s apartment and Dom wasn’t that much better dressed himself,” she laughed.

“Oh?” Mum asked, her eyebrows raised high, as she looked from me to the sleeping form of Matt and then back again at me.

“To be fair, we had no idea you lot were coming, we’d had no warning,” I was quick to defend, feeling my cheeks heat.

“Eh,” Beth just shrugged, still smirking. “Anyway, what the hell were you two doing last night, you were making such a racket.”

“Um, Matt was a little tipsy and had a giggle fit...”

“Really? Aww, he’s actually really sweet, despite what he tries to portray,” she pointed out smiling. “Like, have you seen how good he is around the kids?”

“That’s true, it’s very cute watching them all,” Mum agreed, looking pointedly at the several French braids Izzy and I had plaited into his mop of long hair. “Which reminds me, I’ll have to send you both copies of those pictures I took earlier.”

“Thanks, Mum, that’d be great,” I smiled and Beth nodded.

“Do you think you two will ever think of having any? I remember you always saying you wanted kids some day...” Beth asked and if I’m not mistaken, I swear Mum sat up a bit straighter with interest at this.

“Um, uh, I, what? Beth, we haven’t even spoken about picking an apartment and properly moving in together, let alone about getting engaged yet, never mind having kids,” I pointed out, a little taken aback and caught by surprise by her question.

“Well it’s getting increasingly obvious that what the two of you have is something that will go the distance; one only has to see how you look at each other to know,” Mum reasoned and Beth nodded her head in agreement.

“Don’t even pretend the thought of you two at least getting hitched hasn’t crossed your mind,” Beth said. “I saw your blush – both of you were bright pink for that matter – when Izzy mentioned it.”

“Um, yeah, I, er, guess... It could actually possibly be quite great, but I’m not so sure how Matt would react...” I admitted, looking back at Matt, a tiny bit of drool even having started to gather at the corner of his mouth. That was my man, I thought, a subconscious smile curling the corner of my mouth.

“I for one would be all for it; why not take advantage of the new same sex marriage laws?” Beth said, putting her cup on the coffee table. “You two certainly make a handsome couple, the wedding photos would be beautiful!”

“Beth, there’s a lot more to a marriage than pretty wedding photos.”

“Well obviously, trust me, Dom, I’m married; I know,” she defended.

“If you do decide on getting married, you better invite your old mother,” Mum said simply. “I won’t have any of this eloping nonsense.”

“Mum, I’d never not have you there, I just can’t imagine Dad enjoying it...” I said, revealing one of the biggest concerns I had over the whole possibility of us getting married. Of course Matt telling me to take a hike if I proposed was the biggest...

“Oh sweetheart, he’d get over himself and be happy for you. He actually really does like Matthew, even if he doesn’t always show it. At the end of the day – like me – all your father wants is for you to be happy.”

“Mum’s right; he’s definitely taken more of a shine to Matt than he did Sean at the start,” Beth laughed, just as the twins suddenly burst into the living room, both swaddled in their snow gear.

“Come look at our snowman!” Izzy said, grinning madly.

“It’s the best ever snowman!” Jamie declared.

“Okay, we’re coming,” Beth smiled at her children and got up.

“Hmmmhuh?” I turned my attention then to Matt, who’d clearly woken up due to the twins’ loud entrance.

“Here,” I giggled, leaning over to wipe away the little bit of drool with my thumb. He looked adorable, his features all soft from sleep, hair fluffing all over with the odd braid sticking out funnily and cheeks flushing.

“What’s goin’on?” he asked, before yawning.

“Matthew must come see too!” Izzy insisted then, bringing my attention back to the others, Mum now standing too.

“The kids want us to go see their snowman,” I answered Matt’s even more puzzled expression, as I put down my empty mug and eased out from under his feet.

“Out there, in the cold?” He was practically pouting.

“It’s not that bad!” Jamie assured him, standing impatiently beside me now. The two of them were clearly determined Matt come too.

“Eh, may as well, Matt. After all, when was the last time you went outside anyway?” I asked, moving to go get his chair.

“Ugh, fine,” I could hear him groan then. “Seeing as I clearly don’t have much choice in the matter.”

“YAY!”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Home!” I cried, wheeling myself through the threshold of my apartment, cat box on my lap and all, before spinning back around to see Dom lugging our suitcases through the front door, before collapsing on his bum right there in the entrance hall and then just lying flat on his back in a rather overly dramatic display.

“Dramatic much,” I commented, wheeling past to go shut and lock the front door behind him, some meowing beginning from the furball within the box I had.

“Says you, who practically flew through the front door,” he shot back, slowly moving to stand up again.

“Whatever, Dom,” I just dismissed him, now rolling towards my bedroom, eager to just lie down after the long car journey and stretch my aching leg and hip out. I was also sure the kitten could do with a little stretch of its own. “Can you please get me some of my pain meds and water?”

“Yeah sure,” I heard him call after me, before I managed to heave myself up onto the bed with a bit of effort, having put the cat box up on the bed first.

“C’mon, you, let’s get you out of there, yeah?” I said to the little creature, whose meowing was becoming all the more pathetic and desperate, as, with a bit of effort and a stretch on my part, I managed to unhook and open the door.

“Matt, he needs to be put in his litter box – which we haven’t even setup yet – first, or the little guy will do his thing on the bed, or you; and then of course I’ll have to clean up everything, you included.”

“Relax, Dom, he’ll be fine,” I said as the little, black ball of fur began to clumsily climb up on my tummy, meowing away.

“Well, I guess I’ll go sort the litter box out then and leave you two alone, eh?” he said with a teasing smirk, leaning over to scratch the kitten’s head.

“Sounds good,” I played right along, picking up the kitten away from him.

It was good to be home at last.

***

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” I woke up slowly and through blurry eyes registered that Dom was leaned over my leg, the duvet pulled away, as he appeared to be doing what looked suspiciously like painting my cast.

“What're you doin’,” I asked, voice thick with sleep, as I attempted to crane my neck to see what it was he was painting.

“Well, your cast comes off tomorrow, so I thought I should use the time I have left to have a turn myself at decorating it,” he shrugged nonchalantly, dipping his brush in some more paint, before returning to his ‘masterpiece’.

I couldn’t help but note that he was only wearing a pear of boxers, some paint smeared on his abdomen from where he’d no doubt tried to dry or clean his brush a bit.

“And what, my thigh seemed like the best location?” I asked, having then seen he’d pushed my own boxer’s one leg right up and to where the cast began (pretty much at my groin) to clear the upper area of my thigh for painting. I was suddenly feeling all too self-conscious.

“Well Jamie took up your whole lower leg practically,” he explained before looking up at me and pausing. “You, uh, don’t, um, mind, do you?” Dom then asked, instantly halting in his brush strokes to look at me worriedly, clearly managing to catch onto how I was feeling despite my attempt at hiding it.

“Um, er, no? Not really,” I tried to shrug in my awkward half propped up position where I’d fallen asleep against my pillows.

“I’ll stop if you want me to, or move my painting, really, just say so if you want me to,” he said, his free hand moving to hold my left which was rested against my stomach.

“Dom, it’s, erm, okay. I’m fine,” I nodded, squeezing his hand back to assure him.

_Come on Matthew, this isn’t that bad, relax. What’re you so scared of?_

“Alrighty then,” he nodded and his face split into a heart-melting grin of childish glee. “I shall continue my beautiful butterfly!”

“Butterfly?!” I asked, craning a little harder now to see if it really was what he was paining, but at the moment it was still only a splash of bright colours.

“Oi, what’s wrong with a butterfly?” he asked in a mock offended tone, dipping his brush in the glass of water he had nearby, before returning to his artwork.

“Um, nothing... _exactly._ They’re just... I don’t know, a little girly?” I pointed out, just as I saw him dive for some pink.

“Oh nonsense, don’t be so old-fashioned, Matt; you’re sounding like my father!” he said, slapping on some of that pink.

“Oh, God, well we can’t have that now, can we?” I gasped, playing along with his clearly silly mood, and was rewarded when it only made that grin grow even more and his grey eyes gleam and glitter happily, as well as the hand still holding mine tighten.

“Certainly not! Anyway, don’t you want to know why I’m doing a butterfly?” he asked, sitting up a little straighter in his kneeled position beside me. I simply raised an eyebrow questioningly and he excitedly explained. “It’s to symbolise how, much like a butterfly, your leg is in a chrysalis; healing and fixing itself into a new and improved version of itself.”

“What was wrong with my leg before?” I asked, eyebrows furrowing a bit. I had fairly alright looking legs, didn’t I?

“Well it was broken, obviously,” he deadpanned, before laughing loudly as I just sighed and rolled my eyes at him in response. “Okay, so butterflies transform, well so is your leg; from damaged to fixed,” he then clarified.

“Yeah, I get it, I get it. Let’s just hope it will be fixed...”

***

“And, what’s it like to be free of this cast then?” Morgan asked, looking down pointedly at my leg as we made our way out of the hospital’s large automatic doors.

“Good, mainly glad that I got the get-go for my shoulder so I can use crutches now,” I answered. Morgan had to walk a bit slower than usual so that I could keep up, but it was still a million times better than him having to push me in that fucking chair; I’d been glad to leave it behind, though I'd kept the cast (Morgan was carrying it for me) as Dom had asked for it.

“So, how does it feel anyway?” he asked curiously. We were now moving, slowly but surely, along the pavement toward a nearby cafe.

“Super weird, like my leg’s so light! But ugh, it looks so awful now...”

“Eh, it’s just that your muscles have broken down a bit through lack of use is all, it’ll get back to normal after a bit of work,” he assured me.

“Yeah, I guess... I have a lot of physical therapy lined up, which should help...”

“Should do, though I’m sure it’ll be rather painful,” he shuddered.

“My biggest concern is the fucking massive, hideous scar though...” I admitted, surprising myself a bit by telling him what was really worrying me. I couldn’t help but feel super self-conscious about it.

“Mate, you had metal plates and screws put into your leg to repair shattered and cracked bone; it’s a war wound, you should be proud!” he insisted. “You’re lucky you got off with only a few scars.”

“Yeah, I know but... it’s just so... ugly...” I muttered, self-pity hanging over me. I couldn’t bear the thought of what my leg looked like myself; what would he even think about–

“You’re worried about what Dom will think of it, aren’t you?” Morgan asked, surprisingly insightful, considering how daft he tended to be. I just shrugged, focusing my attention on my movement with the crutches. “Oh, Matt, since when are you so self-conscious, you vain bastard, I’m almost certain he won’t give a fuck about any scaring.”

“Morgz, you saw it; it’s not pretty,” I said as he held the cafe’s door open for me.

“I just thought it looked like it must’ve hurt a shitton, but super epic too,” he argued, following in after me.

“ _Suuuure..._ ”

“Here, let me help you,” Morgan then said once we’d found a table and pulled out a chair for me.

“Ugh, I feel like I’m your bitch,” I muttered, making him laugh.

“You wish! You're _seriously_ not my type, mate,” he winked before adding, “Plus I’m sure Dominic would kick my arse if I so much as tried to hold our hand.”

“He wouldn’t, Dom’s not the possessive type, let alone violent,” I said, struggling to balance my crutches against my chair. When Morgan didn’t immediately answer, I looked up at him to see he had one eyebrow raised sceptically. “Matt, that man would do anything for you, one only has to look at how he behaves around you and the way he looks at you... Besides, when I used to visit you in the hospital he’d always get very touchy with me if I kept him away from you for too long.”

“Really? Huh, I didn’t know that...” I admitted, wondering what the hell it even was that Dominic really saw in me.

“Yup, should’ve heard the nurses! You know that fit one you had, Bianca? When I was chatting to her the one time, she told me that Dominic had practically interrogated her to make sure she wasn’t about to try anything on with you!”

“What?! Seriously? Dammit, Dom, that’s so embarrassing... Besides, I don’t even know what she would’ve wanted with me after being the one responsible for dealing with washing and feeding me, not to mention taking care of my catheter bag...”

“Ugh, exactly! And that’s not even taking your ‘charming’ personality into account!” he laughed, but I knew he was just taking the piss. “I’m far better and more charismatic!” Yeah, taking the piss for sure.

“Har har har, you’re so funny, Morgz,” I rolled my eyes, just as a waitress came by to give us some menus and introduce herself.

I was determined to enjoy this lunch, because after it I had a therapy session and sadly, despite how painful it could be as Morgan had pointed out, it wasn’t physical therapy, but more of the mental sort with my shrink...

 

                                                                                           ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“He went in to get his cast off today,” I answered Jess’ question as to how Matthew was doing.

“Oh, wow, that’s a big step toward his recovery,” she said before taking a drag of her cigarette.

“Yeah, now he can finally start physical therapy on that leg and start walking again,” I nodded, taking a puff of my own cigarette.

Since Matt’s return I’d more or less stopped smoking, what with all the time I’d spent at the hospital and not wanting to leave his side. He too seemed to be done with it, no doubt weaned off the habit. I hadn’t realised until now finally being back at work, just how much I’d missed it; it really helped with my stress levels, which Lord knows I have...

“And what, you didn’t go with to get the cast off?” Tom asked, surprised and smoking a cigarette of his own. He seemed to be under the impression that I was tethered to Matt’s hip.

“Nope, Morgan took the day off to go with instead,” I replied, watching as Chris relit his pipe.

“Oh, well that explains why I haven’t seen him around I guess,” Tom shrugged.

“So, how was your holidays then, I still haven’t heard; how’d Matthew cope with the little ones?” Chris asked curiously after a puff of smoke. “And how’s your dad doing with the whole ‘Dom has a serious boyfriend’ thing, I remember you saying he wasn’t so keen on it all.”

“Yeah, it was good and surprisingly enough he got on really well with the kids; in fact they were really taken with him. Dad was... okay, he actually wasn’t too bad. He’s adjusting still, but he’ll get there; much like the kids, he also rather likes Matt.”

“Huh, it’s strange to even picture Matthew around kids, let alone getting along with them,” Tom pointed out with a laugh. “He really doesn’t strike me at the nurturing sort.”

“You’d be surprised,” I argued, quick to Matt’s defence. “Heck, you should see him with the kitten; and to think how he originally freaked out about taking it.”

“Kitten?” Chris asked curiously, Jess too seemed to be paying much closer attention now, as she stubbed out her smoke.

“Yup, my parent’s cat, Sootie, had kittens, so Mum thought we should take one. So, to make a long story short, a bit of a spat later and we ended up taking one and now Matt and the little thing are virtually inseparable,” I explained, stubbing out my own cigarette now too.

“You got a kitten and failed to tell me?!” Jess demanded, horrified. “Oh my God, Dominic! You know I love cats! I have to meet this kitty! What’s it called and is it a boy or a girl?” I was suddenly bombarded with questions, the other two just laughing.

“I don’t know, I guess I was just so worked up about everything else it kinda slipped my mind... sorry? It’s a little boy and Matt’s still deliberating on names – I’ve chosen to just stay out of it,” I replied with a chuckle, unable not to smile at the memory of Matt staring intently at the little, black kitten and rattling off names in the hopes he’d find one he liked especially.

“Damn, but you’re so incredibly, painfully whipped,” Tom laughed loudly and teasingly at me, as he now too stubbed out his cigarette.

“Eh, leave him to it – even if he does have questionable taste – I haven’t seen Dom so obviously in love with someone before...” Chris said, the most quiet, but arguably the most insightful of our group. “This is definitely something very serious.”

“You have no idea, Chrissy, I’ve been dealing with all this from the very beginning and despite all my advice and all the many hurdles, Dom’s stuck to his guns and ended up falling head over heels for this man,” Jess said, but with the kind smile she gave me, I knew she was happy for me. “You’ve really proven just how selfless you are and how big a heart you have; especially these last few trying months.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled awkwardly, not entirely sure of how exactly to respond to that.

It was true I guess though; despite everything telling me not to from the start and all the bumps and challenges along the way, and the upward battle I knew I was still facing and experiencing, I couldn’t help but continue to just keep on loving Matt.   



	40. Chapter 40

“Dom, he has a name!”  
  
“Huh, sorry?” I asked, thrown off by Matthew’s excited tone and sudden greeting when I entered his apartment, a few grocery bags in hand.  
  
“The kitten, I thought of a name at last!” he informed me proudly, calling over from his place on the couch as I put the shopping down in the kitchen.  
  
“Oh?” I asked curiously, moving to then stand in the living room to look at him, the little kitten asleep in his lap, my eyes then quick to take in the sight of a pair of crutches propped up against the couch beside him.  
  
“Yeah; Frog,” he replied, scratching the sleeping creature behind the ear and waking him.  
  
“’Frog’? You’re calling our cat _Frog?_ ” I had to shake my head at the silly name; clearly in future I’d have to take charge of naming rights.  
  
“Yeah, why not? You’ve seen the way he hops and jumps about; it suits him,” he defended the name, even going so far as to pout at me a bit, the kitten meowing in his lap as if defending it too.  
  
“Fair enough, fair enough,” I said, raising my hands in submission. “I see the cast came off alright at least, yeah?”  
  
“It wasn’t too bad,” he nodded, his tone instantly shifting from the silly mood he’d been showing up until that moment. Had I asked the wrong thing? I’d thought he’d be glad to get the cast off... “I, uh, kept the cast for you like you asked, it’s in the room.”  
  
“Thanks,” I grinned, gratefully, desperate to bring back the previous Matt. I suddenly then remembered that he’d also had an appointment with his shrink this afternoon; his first time back after the Christmas holidays, perhaps that would explain his off mood? He tended to act a little strangely after sessions. “How was the session?” I then asked more gently.  
  
“Alright,” he nodded.  
  
“Good,” I smiled, knowing that would probably be all I’d get from him. He’d tell me if he were ready or even wanted to. “How’s shepherd’s pie for dinner sound?”  
  
“Good,” he nodded, offering me a grateful smile for no doubt not insisting he tell me more.  
  
                                        

                                   ***

“You sure you don’t wanna shower?” I asked Matt, sitting down on the bed beside him, fresh from the shower myself and wearing a clean tee and pair of boxers.

“Yeah, I had one this morning, you helped, remember?” he said, eyes staring down at his toes, both feet now able to wear socks at last.

“True,” I nodded, not wanting to make anything of it. I’d wanted another shower, what with having gone through make-up today and all and had thought he may also want a wash after getting that cast off... “So... you just gonna lie there in your sweats or...?”

“I’ll change. Just now,” he said, nudging his head in the direction of the folded pair of pyjama pants and tee beside him, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his jumper.

“Matt, what’s wrong?” I asked, sensing not all was right. He’d spent most of the night with his attention fixed on Frog or the telly, but now that the kitten was in its bed (a box of blankets in the corner of the room) and the telly was off, his obvious anxiety was easy to see, his fidgeting perhaps the most clear sign.

“Nothing,” he replied, clearly trying to play things calm, but the awkward shrug he offered wasn’t helping soothe my concerns.

“Yeah, then why aren’t you changing? You want a little help, perhaps?”

“No! Um, no, no, thanks...”

“Matt, seriously, what’s wrong? You’re starting to worry me,” I said moving to stand closer to him, but he just ducked his head down and avoided meeting my eyes. “Matt, please, what’s up?”

“I... I don’t want you to see my leg...” His answer was barely a whisper.

“But why?” I asked, now just sitting down beside him.

“It’s ugly and because it will be yet something else for you to pity me for...”

“What, Matt, that’s ridiculous! I don’t pity you, I admire you,” I argued, completely taken aback.

“Dominic, I see the way you look at me; it’s nothing like how you used to. You no longer want me, like, well like you used to,” when I then tried to interrupt and argue, he just held his hand up. “Don’t deny it, Dom. I mean, when was the last time you even kissed me on the lips? You’ve done it once since I got back, when I was still in the hospital and it was just a light kiss; now it’s just a peck on my cheek here and a kiss to my head there. I feel so totally emasculated as it is, I don’t think I could take you being disgusted by me even more.”

His words hit me hard, I hadn’t even been fully aware of the fact that I hadn’t kissed him on the lips, but then I was still ever so cautious around him, but for other reasons and most definitely not what he so clearly thought. The fact that I’d clearly given him this wrong impression, made me feel wracked with guilt.

“Matt, I’m so sorry that’s how you feel, but I swear I didn’t mean it like that. I still want you, baby, how many times must I keep telling you that you’re the one for me. I’ve just been scared to upset you, like the last time I accidentally made a move on you in my sleep...”

“‘Baby’, even that, you used to call me ‘babe’, remember?” was his only reply, his fingers knotting in the hem of his jersey.

“Oh, Matt, that’s no reflection on anything. I like both terms of endearment and, anyway, you used to hate ‘babe’; I’ve yet to hear a complaint about ‘baby’ until now,” I pointed out, reaching over to stop his hands of their fidgeting and just hold them. “If it upsets you so much, I’ll stop. I just want you to be happy, Matty.”

“Well that’s all I want for you too and I’m really thinking you’re not gonna be with me. I’m just screwing everything up – I’m screwed up; you’re too scared to even touch me!”

And that was just it, Matt was getting hysterical, winding himself up and starting to freak out and I just couldn’t handle it. I loved him, I wanted him and he just didn’t seem to be taking in that fact when I spoke to him, maybe I just had to show him. I was just nervous that he may react badly...

Nevertheless, I decided to just act and so moved forward and pushed him onto his back, earning me a surprised yelp, before I just silenced him with my lips in a hard, passionate kiss, doing my best to try convey everything I felt for him.

When at first he didn’t immediately start kissing me back or respond, I began to panic, but then thankfully before I could pull away, he suddenly started kissing me back. His hands were soon buried in my hair, those long fingers of his knotting in it and pulling me closer to him, his tongue quick to seek entrance into my mouth, which I gladly gave him.

It felt unbelievable to be kissing Matthew again, I hadn’t realised until that moment just how much I’d missed the simple act of, well... swapping saliva with the man I loved, as charming as that may sound...

The wet roll and slide of our tongues and the occasional whimper that I coaxed from him when I’d suck gently on his tongue, as well as the comforting rub and pull of his fingers in my hair, commanded all of my focus. Words fell short in truly describing how amazing it felt to be this close to him once more.

Wanting to get even closer though, I carefully moved to straddle him, throwing one of my legs over his slight body, ever cautious of trying not to jar his healing leg. Any underlying concerns I may have had at taking that extra step were soon cast aside, as he then moved his hands to drag down my back, before settling on my hips, his long fingers ghosting along the thin strip of exposed skin between my tee and boxers, leaving goosebumps and a shiver in their wake.

I nearly bit down on his tongue then, when his hands suddenly fisted in the hem of my tee, before dragging it up my body, prompting me to pull out of the kiss to look at him questioningly. In turn, he simply raised an eyebrow at me in question, a look in his eyes begging for me to just go with it.

So, taking in a deep breath and deciding to just give in to him (I mean come on, when haven’t I really?), I just assisted him in pulling my old tee the rest of the way up and then off.

“Wanna feel you on me.” His voice was gruff and slightly panted from the rather passionate kissing we’d been engaging in and it was all I could do not to melt then and there. Instead, I ducked back down to capture those lovely thin lips in another heated kiss, losing myself to the heady kissing and the feel of his hands running down my bare back.

Before I knew it, however, he was shifting awkwardly beneath me, bringing my attention to the fact that he was attempting to rid himself of his jersey.

“You sure about this, Matt?” I had to make sure, searching the depths of those blue eyes of his; the last thing I wanted was for this to backfire horribly and for him to freak out, because it was becoming increasingly clear where all this was heading and I wanted to be sure he was ready.

“Dom, please,” was all he said, pleading shining through those cerulean depths, hands still poised on his half hiked-up top.

Biting my lip, trying to keep back all the possible scenarios as to how this could go, I just nodded, before he suddenly moved to grab hold of my face and pull me down for a truly earth-shatteringly amazing kiss. The words “thank you” were breathed into my ear then, before he went back to wriggling out of his jersey.

“Here,” I prompted, taking over from him and easily managing to slip the garment, along with his t-shirt, the rest of the way up before popping it off his head, which caused the soft strands of his dark hair to fluff up sweetly. The tops were then still caught up around his arms, leaving them above his head and exposing the hollows of his underarms and the fine, dark hair which grew there.

It didn’t surprise me at the way my breath hitched at the sight of him, laid out before me like that, his chest rising and falling with his panted breaths and dark nipples standing out amongst his milky flesh. Despite his doubts and the way I couldn’t help but note that he was still underweight, his muscle tone also no longer what it once was, nor the shiny line of fresh scar tissue over his right collarbone, I still knew I loved and desired him as much as I ever had.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” the words just seemed to slip off my tongue as I moved to nuzzle against the crook of his neck, inhaling that scent of his that I knew would never fail to drive me crazy, dropping light kisses along the goosepimpling flesh.

“You’re mad, you know,” he argued, but ended off in a groan as I sucked on the silky skin beneath my lips, only stopping when blood had rushed to the surface in a marking bruise.

Satisfied, I then continued to kiss and nip at his beautiful skin, until I reached his collarbone and the shiny scar which marred its once flawless quality. Being so close, I could feel the way his heart beat rapidly inside his chest and I was almost certain my own matched it thump for thump.

When I then moved to reverently and ever so gently lay soft kisses to the pinker skin, I could swear my heart almost stopped when I then suddenly felt hands on me that I hadn’t expected.

“Truly mad,” his voice sounded strange, thick with something he was clearly trying to hold back.

“It’s called love,” I replied, flitting my eyes up toward him, leaning into the palm which now cupped the side of my face, his hands now clearly freed. His expression was unreadable and he didn’t reply, content to just stroke along my cheekbone with his thumb, my eyelids fluttering in response.

Before I let myself get too distracted, I pulled out of his hold, to instead return to kissing down his body, his hands falling to his sides in response, before he used them to help prop himself up on his elbows now, as my licking and nipping reached his fluttering stomach, which he pulled in.

A glance back up to his face, showed his cheeks pinken, as he shrugged awkwardly n his position. “Ticklish.”

I just had to grin at that, before moving to teasingly lap at his bellybutton and then wiggle my tongue inside it, which tore a shrill little giggle from him and made me chuckle in response, only to receive a playful shove at my head from him, before he settled back down.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“No you’re not,” he replied all too knowingly.

“You’re right, I’m not,” I grinned back up at him with a wink, before once more returning to my reacquainting with his body, sure to lap at and curl my tongue in the sparse path of hair that was his happy trail, my fingers moving to curl in on his sweats’ waistband, lowering them ever so torturously slowly as my tongue continued to follow the dusting of dark hair, before I came to an abrupt stop, his trousers brought as low as they could be without revealing the bulge beneath.

“ _Dom!_ ” his voice came out in a tortured whine, blown pupils staring at me in exasperation as I brought my own eyes to look back at him once more, to make absolutely certain he wanted this as much as I was gagging for it. “ _Please._ ”

Satisfied, I then wasted no more time in just stripping him of the track pants, his boxers and all in one foul swoop, leaving him in just his socks, his feet hanging off the bed, which I now found myself kneeling in front of.

Despite being desperate for me to free his, uh, nether regions, I knew he’d be far less keen on me uncovering his leg, so I’d decided to just do them both in one swift go, the look of apprehension and resignation in his eyes coaxing a guilty smile from me in response. Rumbled.

I then just turned my attention to peeling off his socks and revealing his long, narrow feet, each receiving a tentative kiss to the sole as the were uncovered, his long, bony toes scrunching in response to the ticklish and foreign sensation.

“Since when do you have a foot fetish? You’ll find I have the wrong feet for that,” came a snarky response from Matt, which brought a smile to my face.

“Oi, I’m just tying to show you how much I love every part of you, seeing as you seem incapable of understanding it when I try telling you,” I shot right back, getting up onto my feet.

He just huffed, before shuffling backwards to rest against the pillows behind him, trying to hide a slight grimace at some point, but I’d seen it.

“You okay, Matt?” I asked, concern instantly taking over, but he just sighed in exasperation.

“Dammit, Dom. I’m okay, just get your bloody pants off already.”

Thoroughly told, I just nodded, before following instruction and yanking off my boxers, leaving myself just as naked as the man before me. I couldn’t help the satisfied smirk which took over my face, nor the fluttering heat inside my belly, as I saw his eyes drag hungrily over my body, as I moved to crawl up on to the bed once more.

The change in Matthew was undeniable, compared to the man I’d come to know since his return, the only thing that kept me from worrying was the fact that he was beginning to resemble the Matthew that I’d known before.

I moved to then resume my earlier position, poised above his lower abdomen, but instead of continuing downwards to his swollen and rigid length the way I knew he wanted me to; I instead chose to focus my attention on his left hipbone, which was definitely more prominent than it had once been.

His groan of frustration quickly turned to one of surprised pleasure, however, when I dragged my teeth along the sharp bone, before continuing to suck and lick the reddened skin, causing his hips to squirm and body to arch, my hands moving to hold him still.

As much as I could sense he clearly enjoyed the unexpected pleasure he drew from the act, I decided it was time and so moved to continue my kisses downwards, still skirting his groin area, before gently making my way down his thigh, his body tensing suddenly as he knew my destination.

I then pulled away a bit, to take in the devastating effect the bullet had wrought upon his leg, the angry-looking scar running down from his thigh, before widening and stopping at the top of his knee, where the sutures had also left their mark, a result from the surgery he’d undergone to repair all the damage. His leg too had thinned, the muscle having broken down from lack of use and being in a cast for so long.

“It’s hideous, I know,” his words were soft and shameful and just broke my heart.

“No, Matt, it’s not. Nothing about you is. It was the small price for saving your life and a symbol of how strong you are. I can’t even begin to imagine how painful and terrifying it all must have been.”

“The bullet took me completely by surprise... The pain was near blinding, but then I was thankfully unconscious for the most part...” his words trailed off then, Matt clearly deciding he’d said enough for now and no matter how small the information, I was simply grateful that he’d shared it with me.

Instead of responding with words, I chose to rather trace over the scar with a series of feather light kisses, grateful to whatever power that may be that Matt was still alive and here with me now.

“Hey, don’t cry, love,” his words were still soft, but once more had that odd edge to them, as he reached out to brush a finger below my eye, wiping the tear away. I didn’t know what I was more surprised by, the fact that I hadn’t realised my eyes had welled up, or the return of an endearment I felt I hadn’t heard in years.

“I’m not crying,” I insisted, looking back up at him. “Just... emotional.”

“Yeah, crying,” he teased, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes and I knew he’d been hit with the same strange sense of how close we’d come to losing each other too. Typical Matt Bellamy there, he did ever so love skating past issues.

Choosing to let him have this one though, I moved over to reach for the bedside table’s drawer, my body teasingly close to his as I stretched above him, searching for the lube I knew should be there. It hadn’t been used in ages and I just hoped it wasn’t too empty.

His hands had already moved to begin caressing over the skin of my back by the time my own finally curled around the sought after tube.

“Matt!” I couldn’t hold back a squeak then when his hands, clutching at my waist, squeezed, causing me to collapse on top of him in the process, threatening my hold on the lube. I was then quick to try right myself, still terrified of hurting him, his body still looked so fragile after all.

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t resist,” he apologised sheepishly, as his hands moved to rest lightly on my hips now, while I kneeled above him.

I paused then, hands having just popped the cap of the lube as I looked down at him, suddenly now aware of what had literally been staring me in the face from the beginning, but what I’d failed to notice until now: he was nervous. His bright azure eyes were doing their best to hide it though.

“Matt, are you really sure about this?” I asked again, looking searchingly into his eyes, gauging his every response.

“Dominic, please. I want you. I want this and, for whatever unbelievable and extraordinary reason, I know you do too. It’s complete and utter madness, but I know you want me too, despite everything. So please...”

“Okay then,” I nodded, ducking briefly to peck his lips. “But let me take care of you, okay? Give yourself over completely to me.”

A look passed his features briefly, one of wanting to argue and resist, but he quickly quashed it and nodded, earning him another kiss, this one stretching on longer as I quickly got to work on coating three fingers with lube, before arching a bit higher so that I could begin to prepare myself for him.

He grunted into the kiss, his fingers massaging into the skin above where his hands still sat on my hips, as I stretched myself open with first one and then two fingers. I felt my jaw slacken and body thrum with pleasure and the promise of what more was to come, yet I could also still sense the fact that Matt was trembling, ever so slightly, but still noticeably.

His nerves were clearly beginning to get the better of him.

My third finger having been added and body feeling more than ready, I abandoned my stretching to instead reach for his cock, his fingers suddenly tightening their hold on me as he bit down on his bottom lip.

“You good?” I asked, poised to impale myself upon him, but also ready to hit the abort button should the need be, his hands still trembling in their hold on me.

He just nodded, the colour draining from where he was biting down on his lip, his fingers no doubt leaving bruises.

“I love you, you know that, right?” I said, despite the fact that my thighs were beginning to ache in my position above him and that my body was desperate for him.

“Yeah, I do,” he nodded, tensing as I finally lowered myself onto him, the once familiar girth and feel of his dick reacquainting itself with my body at long, blessed last, making the both of us moan loudly in unison now that we were once more joined.

The rush of heat and perfection that rushed me, stole my breath, my body quickly adjusting to the intrusion of his dearly missed body, while he quite literally buzzed beneath me.

“You feel fucking amazing,” he ground out between clenched teeth, clearly fighting the urge to move, his trembling now down to pent-up energy. He felt like a livewire and I knew I couldn’t hold off any longer, my body could adjust as we went.

 

                                                                             ~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Oh God, I can’t... can’t hold on much longer.”

The sight above me was all captivating, my eyes drinking in the undeniable beauty before me unabashedly. A thin sheen of perspiration clung to Dominic’s achingly perfect body, highlighting the dips and lines of fine muscles and bone and curled the ends of his blond hair, making it stick damply against his skin, while his body worked over mine.

The whole experience and feel of it all was increasingly surreal as I lost myself in the moment, only to be brought back when I felt his hands curl around mine, holding them to his waist, where they’d unconsciously slackened their hold as I’d begun to check out.

He then twisted his hips in that old tried and tested way I’d almost forgotten and I was truly snapped out of the trance I’d found myself slip into with a loud groan, as I pushed my head back into the pillows behind me.

“Matt. T-touch me. Please,” he asked, abandoning his hold on my right hand, his other linking fingers with my left on his hip.

I just nodded dumbly and followed through, eager to actually contribute more, because up until this point I’d felt about as good as a biological dildo; Dom having to do all the work, my gammy leg stopping me from being able to get any leverage and thrust up back into him. All attempts to do so had also earned me a sharp pain in my hip and leg, as well as a slap to the chest from Dom.

“Fuck, _yeah,_ ” he moaned deeply, as I twisted my fist along his throbbing length, trying to coax forth the orgasm I knew was eminent.

In turn, I was rewarded with a drawn out upward pull from him, before he swiftly lowered himself again, all the way to the hilt, taking every inch of me and sending my eyes rolling back in my head, as my fist tightened all the more.

And suddenly, without any warning, he was coming, dick pulsing in my hand as it painted our abdomens and he cried out loudly, his head of blond hair thrown back and the powerful tendons in his neck standing out in his honey golden skin, glossy with his efforts.

“Oh, fuck. Dom. Oh, God, Dom. I love you.” His impossibly tight muscles were clutching unforgivingly around me in a maddening flutter and twitch that in turn sent me crashing down hard right after him, mouth and mind detaching, the whole experience truly out of body as I just lost myself to the feeling of it all, eyes closing due to overwhelmed senses.

I only then began to come back to vaguely, when I felt him try shift off of me, my arms instinctively curling tightly around him and trapping him.

“Matt. Matt, c’mon. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“S’okay, Dom. S’okay,” I mumbled back, nuzzling the top of his head and dropping a kiss in his hair, the scent of shampoo, sweat and what could only be called our sex filling my nostrils.

With a resigned grunt, he then settled down back onto me, cheek against my pec, as we slowly felt our bodies begin to cool down, before suddenly his body tensed and his head snapped up off my chest, causing my heavy eyes to open and see that his were wide as he looked down at me.

And all of a sudden it came crashing back to me, the realisation that I’d finally said what I’d denied us both for so long.


	41. Chapter 41

  
“Wh-what di– Did you jus– _Sorry?_ ”

Dominic’s grey eyes were blown wide with disbelief, still propped up above me as he looked down at me. I could hardly blame the shock he was so obviously experiencing as I too was struggling to believe I’d finally let it slip after all this time.

Not quite knowing how to respond, I just nodded awkwardly in reply, heat rushing to my cheeks. This was dreadful, it had slipped completely unplanned and unintentionally from me.

I had been holding the words and the truth of them back for so long now, desperate to try convince myself that it wasn’t true; trying to protect myself from the predicted and eventual rejection I’d expected from Dom. The rejection I was still expecting. I’d been so careful not to play all my cards and to not leave myself so completely open and vulnerable to the expected and unavoidable pain it could only bring.

Now all of that had been laid to waste.

“Oh my God, Matt.” The words were more breathed than spoken, as he moved to sit up properly beside me, his eyes still impossibly wide and trained on me. “Oh, Matt.”

I was horrified then when I realised my vision was beginning to blur with the unmistakable presence of what could only be tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t have presented as any more of a pitiful case if I tried.

As a hot tear then fell, rolling a path down my cheek, a voice in my head kept trying to reassure me by using the fact that I’d so recently orgasmed as an excuse for how emotional I was suddenly acting.

“Hey, hey, look who’s crying now, hmm? C’mon, Matt, you’ll just make me start again too,” Dom said, his voice sounding choked up as he reached out to swipe that pesky tear away with a finger, his own eyes now looking suspiciously wet. “I don’t suppose you’ll say it again?” he then asked cautiously, looking down at me with his damp grey eyes so ridiculously full of hope.

“I-I love you. Dom,” I managed then, my mouth saying the words on impulse before my brain could even catch up and stop it.

“Oh God, Matt,” he said, now shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ve been wanting to hear you say that for so long, I can’t even begin to tell you how I feel right now. I mean, of course I’ve suspected; for quite some time now... but suspecting and hoping... well that’s very different to actually hearing it from you and now knowing it to be true.”

“I’m sorry, Dom. I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to finally tell you.”

“When did you figure it out; I mean, how you really felt?” he then asked, voice still cautious, as he gazed down at me, his wet grey eyes full of warmth, feeling like they could stare right through me and see into my very being.

I dropped my line of sight, unable to keep staring into those molten silver depths, which made me feel even more naked and vulnerable than I already was.

“When I was being held captive. I know, I’m slow on the uptake; you figured it out for yourself so much sooner, but for me... I’ve never really been in love before. I didn’t properly realise what I felt for you until then, when suddenly, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to see you again...

“I was so... scared. Angry and upset with myself; I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realised it sooner – told you sooner – and then I thought about the fact that you may never know it.” I didn’t know where it was suddenly all coming from, it was like a tap had been opened and I couldn’t stop it from all coming out at last. As if sensing my shock and anxiety by all of this, Dom’s hand suddenly curled around mine in an obvious show of comfort.

“I made a promise with myself, that if I made it through all of that shit, that the first thing out of my month when I saw you again would be that I loved you. But then, well, I was shot and ended up an invalid in hospital upon my return: it changed everything.”

“But why, Matt? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why wait until now?”

I let my eyes stray up to look at him then at last again, only to see that his eyes had brimmed over, wet streaks tracking down his face. I had to quickly duck my head again.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me anymore and didn’t want you to then feel obligated into staying with me, feeling trapped in a situation that was my problem and not yours, due to guilt. That or – even worse – feel the need to stay with me only out of pity...”

“Oh, Matt, no,” he squeezed my hand, prompting me to look back up at him again, only to see him shaking his head. “When I told you that I loved you all those times before you left, I meant them. Your injuries would never have made a difference and they didn’t. I swear it feels like I love you more and more every day.”

“Really?” I asked, wincing slightly at how vulnerable I sounded.

“Really,” he assured me, a surprising chuckle breaking through, his sudden smile reaching all the way to his still watery grey eyes, prompting me to bite my lip as I ducked my head again, feeling the tell-tale burn of a vicious blush.

He just laughed some more, before straddling my thighs, rather a bit gingerly (I’m not made of china for God’s sake!), but I chose to say nothing as he then leaned down to kiss me, our lips easily sliding together and opening for one another. We lost ourselves in the kiss for some time, before Dom eventually pulled back, only to then rest his forehead against mine.

“I love you, Matthew Bellamy, and don’t you dare ever doubt that.”

“I love you, too.”

It amazed me how easily the words seemed to now slip off my tongue, it felt like a massive weight I hadn’t even realised I’d been carrying was now lifted.

The corners of Dom’s eyes then crinkled as he smiled brightly back at me, before pressing his lips once more to mine and then getting up.

“Hey, where’re you off to?” I asked, my fingers quickly curling around his wrist, cringing internally at how needy I sounded, but unable to help it. He’d truly and completely laid me bare and utterly open and exposed to him.

“Relax, I’m just gonna go get a wash cloth to wipe us off a bit,” he explained, his voice gentle, even as he then looked pointedly at where my right hand was wrapped around his wrist. His drying, sticky release still coating most of my hand and now his wrist.

“Oh, uh, sure, sorry,” I apologised sheepishly, withdrawing my hand, but he just laughed before getting off the bed and heading for the en suite. I couldn’t help but let my eyes trail after his deliciously pert arse, a smug grin even twisting my lips when I spotted a drying trail of my own spend on the inside of a slender thigh.

Wow, I really felt so much lighter and free all of a sudden, as I then just lay back against the pillows and shut my eyes.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, what’re you thinking about so intensely?” I asked Matt, nuzzling into the messy strands of long hair by his neck, the bottoms of which had gotten wet and now curled damply, my arms tightening their hold around his middle.

At first he just grunted, shifting about as best as he could in the warm, foamy bath, where he sat between my legs, leaning against my chest. The whole thing felt so familiar and fabulous; I’d truly begun to miss our shared baths and now that his cast was off we could finally indulge again, though the process was made more difficult due to his bad leg and knee, which couldn’t really bend yet.

“Just... things,” he eventually replied, turning his head to the side a bit so he could press a kiss to the front of my shoulder.

“Hmm like what?” I asked, curious still, as I reached for the soft washcloth draped on the edge of the tub and soaped it up, before beginning to use it to wash his front. He groaned happily in response, his body pressing back into me more, as his head rested back against my shoulder.

It was good to keep seeing more signs of the return of my Matthew. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not an idiot, I know he still has some ways to go, but the fact that I can already begin to see signs of proper recovery is more than a little promising.

“Um...” he began, his voice sounding oddly shy, as he tilted his head to the side to allow me to wash up the side of his neck. “I was just thinking that, well, it’d make sense if you just moved in? Like you practically already spend all your time here and so basically that leaves you paying rent for an apartment you aren’t even using... Plus of course there’s the fact that I love spending time with you and, I don’t know, it seems like the most obvious direction for us to take: the next step so to speak...”

When his rapid explanation came to an end, I could feel the way his body froze and went a bit more ridged as he awaited my decision, his hand even moving to hold mine with the cloth to halt my washing.

If everything didn’t feel serenely unbelievable as it was, what with him finally saying the L-word, it certainly felt that way now. My first response was to drop the cloth into the bathwater, so that I could thread my hands in his hair and turn his head toward mine in order to kiss him deeply.

He eagerly kissed me back, mouth opening to welcome my tongue in and twisting his body as well as he could to grip my shoulders with his hands, his fingers digging into my skin.

When we eventually broke apart he grinned bashfully at me, wonky front tooth on show and warming my heart impossibly even more so. “So was that a yes? Will you move in, you know, officially?” His voice sounded so vulnerable and open, my heart ached with happiness.

“Of course, Matt. I’d love to,” I grinned back widely, before recapturing his lips and pulling him even closer against me.

He wiggled a bit then, the fact that my cock was hard and throbbing between us clearly getting harder to ignore. I was still feeling a tad cautious about how comfortable he was feeling with the sexual aspect to our relationship, but I couldn’t help my body’s natural reaction to having him right there; gorgeous and naked between my thighs and gifting me with the headiest of kisses.

“You okay?” I asked carefully, drawing back a bit and pulling him to just lie back against me again, running my fingers through his damply matted locks of hair.

“Uh, yeah,” he nodded, just as I rested my chin snuggly over his shoulder. I was met with instant relief then when I spotted his own dick was hard, the flushed head of it just bobbing out of the water amongst the foam bubbles surrounding us.

“Want me to take care of that for you?” I offered, sure to use my most sensual voice, as I nibbled at his earlobe with my lips.

“Only if I can return the favour?” he offered, bringing a chuckle and grin from me.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way...”

***

  
“Wow, so he finally actually did it, huh,” Tom said, shaking his head in wonder.

“Took him long enough, I mean, Dom’s been living there for months now,” Jess pointed out, helping to cut the piece of tape Tom was using to seal one of the numerous cardboard boxes in my now otherwise empty lounge.

The two of them and Chris had come over to help me pack the last of my things for the official move. My furniture had already been put into storage, Matt declaring that his were better than any of mine, and to be perfectly honest I couldn’t exactly argue. To be fair though, he’d had his wealthy daddy’s money to use when furnishing and mine was a ragtag of things I’d compiled from old second-hand stores and jumble sales using my own cash.

I was definitely far better off financially now than I’d been when I’d first moved to London, but hadn’t had any time to really refurnish, and besides I didn’t have a problem with my things the way they were.

“Well, that should be the last of them,” Chris said, coming in from my bedroom and dumping down another large box, ready for Jess and Tom to seal.

“Great! Thank you so much, I really do appreciate your lot’s help,” I said gratefully, sealing a box of my kitchenware, before sitting down on the bare carpeted floor with a big sigh.

“No problem, even if your _boyfriend_ should really be helping out,” Tom said with a sigh as he too collapsed onto the floor.

“Tom, you know he couldn’t even if he wanted to, the man’s still in rehabilitation to help him to even _walk_ ,” Jess said with a roll of her eyes, before going to sit down beside him.

“Jess, you know as well as I that he wouldn’t even if he could,” Tom insisted.

“I’ll have you know, he did offer, but he has therapy today,” I defended Matt, shooting a glare in Tom’s direction, as Chris sat down heavily next to me. “And I’d be more careful about what I said about him if I were you, he’s already thinking about starting back at the office soon; even though I can’t say I’m too happy about it...”

“Well the office’ll certainly benefit from his return; sure he’s a right arrogant, bossy bastard, but he’s an efficient arrogant, bossy bastard,” Chris said, leaning back against the now bare wall.

“He does have a point,” Jess nodded, “Besides, it’ll be cute to see him pretending that we don’t all now know that he’s screwing you behind the scenes when he tells you off for something.”

“I doubt he’s able to do much screwing at the moment, what with him struggling to even walk at the moment,” Tom pointed out with a smirk, only for Jess to quickly shoot him a warning look.

“Actually, I’ll have you know, we have been, er, shagging,” I defended and couldn’t help a self-satisfied smirk at his sudden look of surprise. “I mean, it’s not easy, but damn is it more than worth it...” They also didn’t have to know we’d only had sex twice since everything, but hey the first had only been the start of the week, we were only getting back at it still okay.

“Somehow I’m not exactly surprised,” Jess said with a grin, shaking her head. “The pair of you really are like rabbits.”

“Ugh, okay, enough talk of Dom and Matthew’s sex life,” Chris cringed, making us all laugh.

“Well it’s not all just physical,” I was quick to assure, before just barrelling into what I’d been wanting to tell Jess ever since I’d first heard it, if the other two had to be around for it too, so be it. “He also finally said it, Jess.”

“What?! No shit!” she grinned impossibly wide, shaking her head in disbelief and making me grin back just as hard, my cheeks ached.

“Said what? What did he say?” Tom, ever impatient and terribly nosey, asked, his head turning back and forth between Jessica and I. Even Chris sat up a bit straighter, his curiosity piqued, looking between us expectantly too.

“That’s great – it’s about time too – but great. Damn, Dom, I’m so happy for you; this is all suddenly making more sense,” she gestured to the stripped room and boxes around us.

“What? What is it? Are you even going to tell us?!” Tom was now starting to get impatient, making us all chuckle, Jess even leaning over to try peck his cheek, but he ducked out of the way. “Oi, don’t try and distract me now. I wanna know what he finally said that’s making Dom grin away like that!”

“He said he loved me,” I explained, unable to stop smiling away like a reject, the memory of him first saying it still so fresh and the circumstances of it making my cheeks flush with warmth.

“Huh, whoa, well, yeah, I guess that is pretty big,” Tom nodded, before a slow smile spread on his own face. “I’m really happy for you, Dommy-boy. You deserve to be happy; but if he goes and breaks your heart, I’ll go and break his other leg.”

“Tom!” Jess gasped, while Chris just laughed, the larger man clapping me on the back in his own manner of congratulations.

“It’s alright, Jess,” I shrugged, still smiling away like a dumbass. “It’s great to know I have all your support.”

“Of course, Dom. I know I don’t just speak for myself when I say we have your back,” Chris smiled, before getting up. “Now, what do you all say to loading these up in our cars and taking care of them, before hitting the pub?”

“Sounds good to me!” Tom said, hopping up, before offering a hand to help Jess up too.

“I’ll really miss this place,” I sighed, getting up onto my feet now too. “Did you know it was in this room that I first laid eyes on him naked... It was in this flat that we first had sex... it was in thi–”

“Alright, alright, we get it. Jeez, Dom,” Chris objected, cutting me off as I looked about the pace, a pang of sadness at leaving my old home. The first and only I’d ever paid for myself – even if I had just been renting.

“Blurgh, yes, there is such a thing as too much sharing. Lucky for you though, Chris, you still don’t have a first place for seeing Matthew naked too; I sadly do,” Tom mock shuddered, making us all laugh.

“You should consider yourself lucky; the man’s a god in human form!” I declared, pretending to swoon.

“Now that’s something I find myself having to agree with!” Jess laughed, fanning herself dramatically.

“Oi!” Tom protested, pouting at his girlfriend.

“I may be in a relationship with you, Tommy, but I’m not blind, love,” Jess laughed, before successfully landing a kiss on his cheek. “But you’re the one for me.”

Tom just blushed and shrugged bashfully, moving to hold her hand.

“It’s good to see everyone shacking up and settling down,” Chris smiled over at them. “Before we know it, the unthinkable will happen and Tom and Dom may even get hitched!”

At this Tom’s blush deepened tenfold, but Jess glanced at me and must have seen something in my frustratingly open face, because her mouth opened in shock, before a giant smile spread over her face.

“Oh my God, Dommy, you really do want to marry him, don’t you?!”

Suddenly I had all three pairs of their eyes fixed on me. All I could do was shrug helplessly, my cheeks burning and no doubt even redder than Tom’s had gone just now.

***

  
I woke with a start, my ears ringing, from what could only have been a pained shout, and heart thudding loudly in my chest. My eyes, trying to desperately adjust to the darkness of the room, sought out Matthew, along with my hands, as I desperately tried to feel him out.

It didn’t take long. He was trembling violently beside me and breathing in loud, ragged gasps. When I managed to pull his shaking body into my arms, I became aware of the fact that, despite his skin being virtually ice-cold, he was sweating profusely.

“Matthew? Matthew, what’s wrong?!” I asked, all my senses on overdrive and still feeling completely helpless as he just continued to shiver and whimper in my arms. “Matt, baby, I’m here. I’ve got you. Let me help you.”

It took a bit, but he eventually managed to respond, his hands grabbing onto me tightly, while he buried his face into the crook of my neck, hot wetness that could only be tears meeting my skin with the gesture. I just stroked his back as soothingly as I could, muttering words of comfort and I held him close, listening and feeling as his breathing slowly began to normalise again and the trembling subsided.

When the ragged gasps and whimpers had finally died down, I moved to stroke my fingers through his fringe, smoothing it away from his sweaty forehead, which in turn I pressed a kiss to.

“You okay?” It was a stupid question, but I had to ask it. I was still very much so in panic mode, my heart still racing furiously.

“Th-th-thanks,” he managed to get out, while he nodded, his hold loosening a bit, but not letting go.

“What was that?” I couldn’t help but ask further. The sudden attack not only taking me by complete surprise, but also really having freaked me out.

“D-dreams.”

“Oh, Matthew.” I pulled him even closer and kissed the top of his head.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

“It was because I’m a reporter. They don’t like the press, they think we misrepresent them; there’s a lot of animosity and resentment aimed at us.” I took a deep inhale from the cigarette I’d managed to convince Dom to let me have, my still trembling fingers making the task a lot harder. I needed the once familiar and soothing act to help root myself in order to calm down and confide in Dom.

He was so patient and kind, not even caring that I was all nasty and drenched in drying sweat, as he held me close on the sofa. I knew I’d regret smoking inside tomorrow, but right now I needed it too badly.

“Th-there were the occasional b-beatings...” It was hard to say it, but I did so in the hopes that it would help. I refused to be so damn reliant on those... pills. They were simply repressing (and ruining) everything; I needed a quick and proper fix and am hoping this will help.

“Your collarbone?” Dom correctly guessed, prompting me to nod.

“Y-yeah, that was probably the worst. It... it j-just felt so real. Like I was living through it all again...”

“Oh, Matt, that’s awful, I’m so sorry,” he said, tightening his hold on me, just as I breathed out a shaky plume of smoke. “But you’re here now. You’re safe. You’re with me.” He kissed me on the cheek, before slipping the nearly finished cigarette out of my unsteady fingers and stubbing it out on the saucer he’d brought when I’d asked for a fag to calm my shattered nerves. “But why do you think it took this long to suddenly have an attack?”

When I then proceeded to (rather reluctantly) tell him my suspicions however, his attitude took a huge 180.

“You what?! Since when?! What the fuck, Matthew, why the hell would you stop taking all your meds?! It’s not a joke, they were prescribed to you for a reason; you’re supposed to take them!”

Suddenly I found myself sat on the opposite side of the couch, feeling like a scolded child. In hindsight, I knew what I’d done had been potentially stupid, but then... well, it had been a necessary thing to do. I’d thought it would help.

“They were just supressing everything–”

“So what, waking in a cold sweat and panic attack is better than allowing your mind the time it needs to slowly heal itself so that you can be more ready?”

“W-well, no, it’s just, well, yeah, but... Dom...”

“What, Matt? What is it?” he asked, big, stormy-grey eyes pleading with me.

“Th-they, well, they, uh, also m-made me, um, im-impotent,” just saying the word made me cringe dreadfully, my cheeks flaring with heat and shame. “Among other things...”

“Seriously, Matthew?! You did this to yourself just because you couldn’t get it up?! Jesus Christ, something really is wrong with you! You’re just so fucking obsessed, like a bloody dog with a bone. I can’t anymore, Matthew, how many fucking times must I tell you that I don’t care about the sex?! I’m far more worried about you being healthy and allowing yourself the time to get better!”

At first I just stared back at him, wide-eyed, as his thunderous eyes bore down on me. He was really angry and as much as it was the last thing I wanted to do, I couldn’t help myself, but shout right back; all my frustrations bubbling to the surface yet again.

“Well I’m fucking sorry that I maybe just wanted to give you something back after everything you’ve done for me! I’m sorry that I feel so fucking pathetic and useless already, what with being so reliant on others, that the fact that one of the most basic bodily functions failing me bothers me so much! I’m sorry that the fact that I can’t get my fucking dick up while suppressed on drugs makes me feel even more emasculated than I already feel! I'm sorry that the drugs make me feel listless and tired all the time! I'm sorry that they often make me feel sick! It’s not just about you for fuck’s sake, Dominic, stop being so goddamn conceited!”

“Me?! Conceited?!”

“Yes you! Don’t act as thou–”

At some point I’d, unthinkingly, tried to get up onto my feet, stupidly forgetting my gammy leg, so ended up painfully and humiliatingly falling flat onto the floor.

“Shit, Matt! Here, let me help you up–” And he was instantly up on his feet, while I swore bitterly into the carpet.

“No! Don’t you fucking dare!” I felt humiliated enough as it was; but he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Oh come on, Matt. Don’t be like that.”

“Oh, it’s ‘Matt’ again now, is it?!”

He just rolled his eyes and stooped down to yank me up into his arms with a big sigh, the fight in him dying. Starting to feel similarly, the whole attack and now outburst having drained my still weakened state rather a lot, I just gave in and let him cart me off back to the bedroom, where we ended up lying down on the bed together in awkward silence.

“Wanna take a shower?” he asked then, the uncomfortable silence having stretched on for a while now.

“No,” I sniffed. If the bastard didn’t like me all sweaty he could just go sleep on the fucking couch; it was my apartment after all and he hadn’t seemed to have an issue with it earlier.

“Okay...” I could feel him eyeing me sideways, from where he lay on the other end of the bed. I made a point not to look back, even closing my eyes. “Look, Matt...”

“Just leave it.” I was too tired for this shit right now.

“But, Matt–”

“Dom.”

He sighed heavily, before I felt his weight shift on the mattress, as he clearly moved closer to me, prompting my eyes to snap open.

“I’m sorry. I’m just... frustrated and, I know that’s not the best excuse and that you are too, but... yeah. I just worry about you, I can’t help it; I just love you so much,” he said, reaching out to hold my hand and give it a squeeze. “I really don’t want to fight with you.”

“Yeah, well, me too. I hate fighting with you too...” I admitted with a tired sigh and squeezed his hand back. “I’m sorry too, I’ve been an idiot.”

“I... I understand though. Well, I’m trying to. I just wish you’d stop being so impatient and just give yourself some proper time to actually get better. Also you should tell me when you're not feeling good, let me help you out; don't suffer alone. Maybe the doctors could also always switch up your meds?”

I sighed deeply, moving to snuggle up against him, his arms the safest place I felt and no longer wanting to talk. He hummed in return and wrapped his arms around me.

“You’ll get better, you just need to give it time and listen to your doctors, they know what they’re doing,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, my face buried against the impossibly soft skin of his neck.

“Thanks, Dom, you know, for everything.”

He just kissed me again.   



	42. Chapter 42

“Whoa...”  
  
“What, doesn’t it look good?” Matt asked, worried, self-consciously running those long fingers of his through his newly cut head of thick, toffee-brown hair.  
  
Matt’s recovery was coming on in leaps and bounds and now that he’d graduated from his crutches to using just a walking stick, he’d decided with the help of his shrink that he was ready to go back to work. Well the office job that he’d been working when everything between us had first started all those many months ago that is. Both of us were avoiding the topic of him maybe wanting to go back into war correspondence again when he was completely healed; it would only lead to fighting.  
  
We’d actually managed to avoid a lot of fighting over the past few weeks; Matt had gone back to taking all his necessary medications (the amount of which he needed to take beginning to get less and less with each passing day) and was happier with the fact that he was far less dependant now thanks to the help of his physio and dedication to his muscle exercises which had helped with him in ditching the crutches. We were still tiptoeing a bit on eggshells around each other, but things were definitely getting better.  
  
“No, it’s not that. It looks good, really good. I kinda forgot what you looked like with short hair,” I grinned reassuringly at him and pulled him into a hug, before smacking a kiss to his surprised lips.  
  
I was also making a point now to stop treating him like he was made of glass and being sure to show him just how he made me feel in an attempt to help him with his insecurities thanks to the occasional side affects of some of his meds and the scarring I knew he was still hesitant for me to see.  
  
He’d insisted on getting a (perhaps long overdue) haircut before he started at work tomorrow, once again on the prime time shift with Jess, the others and I, but had been adamant he go on his own, using public transport as he still couldn’t drive yet. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t made me extremely nervous; the idea of Matt all alone out there without me or Morgan to assist him for the first time since everything had me sneaking a few cigarettes from one of the packs I’d found lying around Matt’s – _our_ – flat and desperately trying not to think of all the ways it could go wrong.  
  
It was a sign of things improving, of him _healing._ The fact that Matt wanted to get his hair cut at last and insisting on doing it all on his own? It sort of felt like a symbol of him taking back his life and I couldn’t help but feel a little proud.  
  
He was back now though, cheeks still flushed from the cold outside and his previously messy, overgrown strands of dark hair now in a neat spiky fluff of sorts, thanks to a combination of the wind and him messing it up with his hands. He looked good.  
  
“Oh, um, well, thanks,” he grinned back, moving to kiss me again, but instead of then pulling away, he chose to instead deepen the kiss, before finally breaking away to nuzzle against my ear. “Love you.”  
  
I couldn’t help the wide smile that took over my face in response. I wouldn’t ever get over him saying it.  
  
“Love you too,” I turned my head to peck his nose, before stepping away. “C’mon, I was busy watching _Come Dine With Me_ with Frog, you should join us.”  
  
“Alright then,” he laughed with a shake of his head, before limping over to the bigger sofa with me, having abandoned his walking stick in the entrance hall. He was much slower without it and I’m sure it hurt a bit more, but it’s hardly a long distance so I just let it slide. Matt and his stupid pride.  
  
“Look who’s home, Frog,” I said, scooping the little, black kitten, who never seemed to stop growing, up into my arms so that Matt could sit on that side, before reclaiming my own side, kitten perched on my lap.  
  
“Your daddy!” Matt grinned happily after he’d none too gracefully collapsed on the couch and tried to move himself so he could lie down, making me lift Frog so that he could use my lap as a pillow and his side’s armrest to prop his legs up. “Here, Dom, gimme my baby,” he then said reaching up for the impatiently wriggling ball of black fur in my hands. They really were inseparable.  
  
It was kind of weird hearing Matt say stuff like that, I knew it was just to a cat, but it still got me thinking; about us getting married and maybe one day having a kid or two of our own... I couldn’t help myself, thoughts of marriage and spending the rest of my life with this silly, complicated and often frustrating yet also lovable and affectionate man were never far when I was around him now adays.  
  
“And to think you didn’t even want him,” I made a show of grumbling then, setting the kitten atop his chest, the two then nuzzling against each other with Frog purring away. Little traitor. I wasn’t entirely sure who that was aimed at of the two.  
  
“How was I to know he’d be such a charmer?” Matt laughed, ruffling Frog’s furry little head and making him meow happily in response.  
  
Rolling my eyes, I just settled down and un-paused the show. At some point my fingers found their way into Matt’s newly cut hair, stroking through the silky strands and making him hum happily as Frog continued to purr on his chest, while we watched the show.  
  
                                                                                        ***  
  
“Well look who’s back on his feet,” Jess whistled lowly to me, her eyes having drifted over to where we could see Matt through the glass walls of one of the boardrooms, no doubt giving his overview on his future plans for the prime time show now that he was back at Sky. “Nice haircut too, he’s really looking like the old Matthew.”  
  
“Yeah, he’s doing so much better,” I couldn’t help but smile fondly at my man, as I saw him getting really into whatever he was discussing, his hands gesturing enthusiastically as he no doubt spoke their ears off.  
  
“Naww, look at you, the fond on your face right now is near unbearable,” she laughed, lightly pushing my shoulder, as we continued to walk over to Chris’ office to meet up with him and Tom.  
  
“What took you two so long?” Tom asked when we arrived, wasting no time in striding over toward Jess to give her a kiss, while I closed the door again behind us.  
  
“Went to go get our headlines, didn’t we,” I replied, waving the small stack of white paper in my hand I had to still quickly read through before we went live in a couple hours to host our usual prime time slot.  
  
“Plus we then walked super slow so Dom could ogle Matthew for a bit when we walked passed the boardroom,” Jess added, throwing me under the bus when she’d managed to dislodge her mouth from my other treacherous friend, who laughed loudly in response. Chris also found it all too amusing, judging by the smirk his lips managed to form around his pipe, as he smoked beside his open window.  
  
I shot her a true look of hurt and betrayal, before walking over to the window to stand by Chris. I was trying to cut down my smoking, the fact that Matt had pretty much stopped helping nudge me in the right direction. That didn’t, however, mean I didn’t miss it, so figured I’d just get away with some second-hand smoke from standing beside the taller man.  
  
The topic of conversation soon turned to the fact that Jess and Tom were thinking about getting a nice, new place together that could truly belong to the both of them. They’d apparently spent the weekend going to several open houses around the city, but were still undecided.  
  
“Personally, I’d think it makes perfect sense to get a place close to work. The fact that you both work in the same building only makes that all the more convenient and easy to manage. That way you also wouldn’t have to commute like I do,” Chris pointed out, our mate living just outside of London – the chaos of town apparently no place to raise his kids.  
  
Before either could reply to him, however, there was a knock at the office door, before Matt ducked inside, shutting it again behind himself.  
  
“Er, hi, hope you don’t mind me joining?” he asked, blue eyes darting to each one of us in turn, before returning to look at me. He looked sheepish and awkward, standing in front of the door, leaning against his smart black cane (I should know, I helped pick it out).  
  
“’Course not,” Tom shrugged, Chris nodding then in turn.  
  
“You’re more than welcome to,” Jess grinned, before glancing toward me, her smile becoming more of a smirk. “I’m sure Dom would be the better for it in fact; he’s not so used to having to share your attention. You should have seen the way he was looking at you when we walked past the boardroom; couldn’t take his eyes off of you.” At this she positively wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, causing both Matt and I to flush.  
  
He gave me a pointed eyebrow raise, thin lips quirking in a smile he was trying to hold back, while when I rolled my eyes at Jess and handed back her cigarette, which I hadn’t been able to resist taking a few drags from.  
  
“You can talk some right shit, Jess, can’t you,” I muttered to her, loud enough for them all to hear, before turning to look back at Matt. “Ignore her. I’m just super glad to have you back here and constantly around again – ready at my disposal.”  
  
At my own eyebrow waggle then, Matt couldn’t hold back a sudden bark of laughter as Tom and Chris groaned, Jess laughing too.  
  
“That’s my boy,” she grinned, patting me on the back with her empty hand, before taking a drag from her smoke.  
  
“In more serious news though, it is good to see you back here and on your feet again; Dom was really worried about you. We all were,” Chris said, as I walked over to press a kiss to Matt’s cheek, making him flush sweetly.  
  
“Agreed,” Tom and Jess both nodded, plumes of smoke leaving their mouths.  
  
“You do know it’s against company policy to smoke in here, not to mention against the law too,” was what Matt chose to say in response however, looking pointedly at their cigarettes and Chris’ still lit pipe. The old Matthew really was well on the way to being whole again. I couldn’t help but chuckle.  
  
“Yeah, but, you’re not gonna tell on us, are you?” Tom wheedled. “We’re you’re mates now. You’re one of us.”  
  
“Hmm, we’ll see about that...”  
  
“Dom! Tell your boyfriend to stop being mean!” Tom whined overdramatically, making the rest all laugh, as I just felt my heart swell.  
  
I didn’t think I’d ever get over how wonderful it felt to hear Matt referred to as that, and I couldn’t help but wonder how it’d feel if he was something more... fiancé... husband...  
  
“You okay?” Matt murmured, squeezing my hand and snapping me out of my mind’s wondering, the other three already having gone back to chatting about Tom and Jess’ future housing plans.  
  
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, just zoned there for a sec,” I apologised, squeezing his hand back in return and hoping the heat I could feel tingling my cheeks wasn’t a too obvious blush. I was grateful that he couldn’t read my mind; still uncertain as to whether or not he was ready to take that leap yet (if ever).  
  
“Love you, you plonker,” he murmured again, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to my lips.  
  
Naturally the gossip mongers had turned their attention away from their smokes and chatter of ‘terrace versus semidetached’, long enough to catch the kiss and so all cheered obnoxiously, resulting in a groan and eye roll from Matt. I couldn’t help but laugh, happy.  
  
Matt made me happy – unbelievably so – and all I wanted was for him to be happy too and to have him in my life, in whatever form.  
  
                                                                                      ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
“…I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse Dominic here, a certain someone’s back in action and working with us here in the studio again, so if he seems a bit distracted, you now know why.” I watched on as Dom’s jaw dropped in response to Jess’ unexpected and cheeky banter on camera and didn’t doubt my own jaw was doing pretty similarly.  
  
“Jessica!” I couldn’t help but yell in my mic, which would ensure the pair on set both heard me in their in-ears. She just grinned widely though, Chris shaking his head in fond annoyance beside me, as Dom awkwardly then steered things back to the big headlines at the moment. The way they should have done from the start.  
  
I should have known she’d do something like that, but on live air? This was prime time news, not some trashy reality show, she shouldn’t be bringing up our personal lives – it was just so… so unprofessional! This was _Sky_ bloody _News_ , we had a reputation to uphold!  
  
“Hey, chill, Matt, no need to get worked up now. It’s probably best she mention and address it, social media's been a bit of a mess as of late; speculations of why Dom’s been M.I.A. on his usual slot and how his boyfriend was coping after his big ordeal,” Morgan tried to reason with me a little later as one of the news stories played out and I could stop multi-cam directing. “Everyone loves a happy ending.”  
  
“And what, this is our happy ending?” I asked, gesturing towards where my stupid cane stood propped against the mixing desk and my gammy leg. Sure I was getting better and would soon be able to ditch the cane, but the fact I still limped like a pillock and got a lot of pain from my hip and knee, not to mention how easily I was exhausted still, were issues I still had to deal with.  
  
It was all hardly perfect and more often than not put me in a near constant state of irritableness and it was poor bloody Dom who usually caught the brunt of one of my moods. The fact we lived together now and that I interacted with him more than anyone else, making him exposed to me more often.  
  
“Well, you’re back and safe. And alive. The two of you live together now too and are a proper couple – even though you’re a bit of an odd one at that. Sounds like a pretty happy outcome to me,” Chris seemed to feel the need to butt into our conversation and point out.  
  
“Not to mention the fact that you two are now also daddies to a little cat together,” Morgan pointed out with an agreeable nod, barely holding back his shit-eating grin.  
  
“Exactly,” Chris nodded too, sagely and all knowledgeable, also fighting a smirk of his own. Since when had they become such good mates? I wasn’t quite sure I liked it…  
  
“Yeah, before we know it, the pair of you will be getting hitched and adopting actual human babies too!” Morgan clearly couldn’t resist adding, to which both he and Chris guffawed loudly.  
  
I definitely didn’t like it.  
  
Cheeks feeling annoyingly heated and no doubt flushed, I was just about to come up with some kind of response (what, I’m not entirely sure, but that was beside the point), when our attention had to return to our work, Jessica and Dom now needing to be filmed in studio again as they discussed the clip that had just played – one about the new baby pandas that had been born in the Toronto zoo.  
  
As I sat there then, giving directions on which cameras to use and which shots to take, I found my mind slightly distracted, hung up on Morgan’s words despite myself.  
  
Marriage. _Marriage_ to Dom.  
  
I hadn’t really contemplated it much, too distracted by the plethora of other issues and things going on, but it wasn’t the first time the subject had been brought up; memories of Dom’s niece at Christmas not far, nor the way Dom had blushed bashfully, but not denied the possibility when she’d broached it.  
  
Was that what Dom maybe wanted – possibly with _me_? It was hard to imagine. I hadn’t ever really pictured myself as someone who’d ever get married, but then I’d never really been in a proper relationship like this before Dominic. I’d certainly never been in love before him either. Dom seemed to bring a whole load of ‘firsts’ into my life and the possibility of marriage…  
  
…well, it didn’t exactly seem too out there, the way it probably should do.  
  
I was still thinking about it, long after filming wrapped up and going out for a round of drinks to celebrate my being back with Morgan, Dom and his ridiculous group of friends, who all seemed to think I was one of them now. Morgan certainly seemed to have settled in rather nicely with them too.  
  
It was all a bit weird, but at some point, our lives had fused together, the thought playing in my mind even more then as Dom and I had headed back to my – well, now _our_ – flat afterwards and showered and climbed into bed together.  
  
“You alright, Matt?” Dom asked, tossing aside the wet cloth (he’d be annoyed with himself come morning, but was clearly too beat to worry now) to some obscure part of the room, having wiped us both clean of the resultant mess from a round of mutual handjobs – I was too knackered after my first day back to do much else and, judging by his already drooping eyelids and the way he yawned as he snuggled up to me, Dom was feeling pretty similarly.  
  
“Hmm, yeah,” I hummed, before yawning myself, no doubt having been set off by his, as I tilted my head more towards his hand, where he’d began carding through my newly cropped hair, the sensation making me feel sleepy and comfortable, his warm weight beside me only adding to it all. “Why?”  
  
“Dunno, you’ve just seemed pretty distracted all night, is all,” Dom replied, reaching forward to press a kiss to my temple, prompting my eyes to shut happily.  
  
“Oh?” I hadn’t realised it had been so obvious, completely lost in my thoughts the way I’d been. “Sorry, didn’t mean to be.”  
  
“S’alright, no need to apologise. I’m just curious about whatever’s been going on in that head of yours,” he replied, before craning his neck to press another kiss to my temple. “You know I love you, right? So much.”  
  
I couldn’t help but frown a little at that, uncertain of why he’d felt the need to say that, because if I’d learnt anything over the last couple months – with everything he’d had to put up with and had done for me – it was that Dom undoubtedly had to, for whatever unknown and impossibly inconceivable reason, love me.  
  
“As I love you, Dom,” I chose to go with, wrapping my arms around him, as he snuggled down on my chest, pressing a kiss to my collarbone, where that godawful scar ran. I gave him a tight squeeze and buried my face in his mop of fluffy blond hair, my nose immediately greeted with its cinnamon shampoo scent.  
  
A small smile curled my lips at the memory of his excitement the other day when he’d dragged me shopping with him and he’d found the new shampoo on offer. It didn’t take long then, before his breathing evened out and I felt his body go limp with sleep beside me, his scent and warmth surrounding me.  
  
Just as I then began to find myself slipping off into dream, thoughts of marriage and Dom still dancing about in my mind, I heard a muted little meow come from somewhere beside the bed, before it was then followed by a sudden thump on the bed and then Frog was padding towards me in the dark, only the slight glint of his eyes from the streetlights, shining in through the curtains, visible. He gave a little squeak to my face, before proceeding to curl up against my side, ensuring I was now surrounded by two bodies, varying in size and, well, hairiness.  
  
The sound of Dom’s gentle snores and Frog’s purring surrounding me, I began to wonder if perhaps Morgan really had been onto something about happy endings…  
  
                                                                                                   ***  
  
Over the next couple weeks I managed to say goodbye to, not only the last of my meds, but also to my cane (well, the thing was still around, shoved in the coat closet, but only in case it was needed in the future for some godawful reason) and, although I still had rather a bit of a limp – not to mention my unsightly scarring – things were definitely looking up.  
  
I’d also just come out of the last of my therapy sessions that I’d be needing for the foreseeable future, my psychologist giving me the all clear after gifting me with the parting words of ‘Don’t be afraid to show your emotions”.  
  
I’d then – ever so ironically – been crazy enough to find myself lingering outside a nearby jeweller on the walk back home from the bus stop (which I’d ended up taking out of habit, having forgotten until I was already riding the bloody bus, to remember I was now allowed to drive again). I didn’t exactly have any plans to go inside, and was rather just window-shopping, my eyes trailing over the rings on display.  
  
With all the progress and the fact that things actually felt like they were going somewhere and that I was getting back to normal, it was small wonder that the thought of marriage kept cropping up again and again now in my mind. I was still uncertain if it was exactly what I even wanted, let alone what Dom wanted, but it still kept popping up in my mind and, well, the more I kept thinking about it, the more it was definitely beginning to appeal to me.  
  
I wanted to do something for Dom – for the both of us – and perhaps proposing might be exactly the thing, I mean, I loved Dom, truly and deeply, and couldn’t imagine loving anyone else quite like I did him. Perhaps marriage really was the next logical step, even if it had never originally really occurred to me.  
  
The thought of waking, much like I had that morning, beside a sleep rumpled Dominic (who’d then also offered to make us a fry-up for breakfast) for the rest of my life, was certainly something I could easily get used to and – if I was being honest with myself – already planned on ensuring remained the case. So why not just do it in a more formal and traditional manner – show him just how serious I was about us…  
  
Besides, I didn’t doubt the look of surprise on his face would be priceless; the mere thought definitely brought a big grin to my face, as I then shoved my hands back in my jacket’s pockets and continued my walk home. It was already beginning to get dark and I didn’t fancy limping about when I couldn’t see the paving before me in proper daylight. Tripping and falling on my arse would definitely put a damper on what had been, up until now, a rather pleasant day. What I wanted now, was to curl up on the couch with Dom, Frog on my lap and a nice glass of merlot in my hand, while we watched whatever shit reality show Dom was in the mood for now.  
  
When I eventually got home, the walk to mine from the bus stop I’d needed to take having taken longer than I was used to in the past, thanks to my having limped back sans any aid, it was to find Dom already in the kitchen, cooking, an undeniably delicious smell filling the open plan lounge and kitchen.  
  
“What’re you making?” I asked curiously, making my way over to him.  
  
“Oh, Matt, you’re home!” he greeted, voice sounding a little more cheery than usual and bright smile, wider too, as he came to meet me half way to give me a kiss hello. “Would you like something to drink? How did the last session go? And how’s your leg doing?”  
  
“Um, some wine – merlot, please – would be nice, thanks,” I replied, eyebrows raised at his rushed onslaught of questions, as he fluttered about, pulling out wine glasses and disappeared briefly into the pantry where I had a wine rack, before returning with a bottle that he held up to me in question. I nodded, before he then opened it and poured us both a glass, while gesturing for me to answer his other questions. “And it went okay, I won’t have to go back, which is obviously great, can’t say I’ll miss her much. As for my leg, well, it’s twinging a bit and is definitely a bit tired, but nothing I can’t handle?”  
  
“Oh, good, good,” he nodded along, giving me a big smile, as he then offered me one of the glasses.  
  
“So now that I’ve answered your barrage of questions, are you gonna answer mine? What’re you cooking?” I asked, leaning against a counter to take some of the weight off my leg, before taking a sip of wine.  
  
“Oh, uh, nothing too crazy, but I thought I’d still make us something nice, yeah? A proper Sunday roast, trimmings and all, Yorkshire pud included ‘cause I know it’s your favourite.”  
  
“But it’s a Saturday?” I asked quizzically, unable to hold back a fond smile though. He was acting extra bubbly and being more twitchy than usual, almost like he was nervous for some obscure reason, though I had no idea why he would be.  
  
“Cause I thought it’d be nice? We’re going to the Wolstenholme’s tomorrow to watch the match and have tea with them, so it’s not like I can do it tomorrow,” Dom tried to explain, crouching down now in front of the oven to check on the Yorkshire puds, judging by the way he then sighed with relief and said, “Thank fuck, they’ve risen, wasn’t sure I’d done the mixture right.”  
  
Yup, he was definitely acting a little more barmy than usual… Instead of saying anything though, I instead chose just to sit back (well, lean) and watch on as he ran about the kitchen, getting everything ready, the meal apparently almost ready, while he put back, not one, but two glasses of wine. By the time I’d helped take the food to the table (Dom having already set it – and rather nicely, flowers and all, for just Saturday night tea...) and we’d sat down, Dom’s hair was a mess in every direction, his cheeks flushed from the heat of the stove (and no doubt all the wine) and his apron still on as he grinned, too widely, back at me, I couldn’t hold back a few giggles.  
  
“What?” he asked confusedly through his, frankly goofy at this point, smile.  
  
“Nothing, love,” I smiled, helping myself to my first mouthful of undeniably delicious, home cooked roast. He’d really outdone himself. I knew he could cook, but this was truly glorious. When I told him as much, he’d just smiled bashfully and stuffed his face with roast carrot and Yorkshire pud.  
  
After we’d finished eating and packed the washing up in the dishwasher and leftovers in the fridge (I swear, he’d cooked enough for a small village), we’d gone to settle down on the couch, where Frog had been sleeping all along.  
  
“Oi, you rude little furball, why didn’t you come say hello?” I asked, scooping the black little beastie up in my arms, making him meow grumpily at having been disturbed. He was clearly going through his grouchy teenage phase. “So much attitude, can you believe this, Dom?” I asked him, moving to sit down beside him, Frog still in my arms.  
  
“Uh, yeah, it’s ‘cause you spoil him so much, he’s developed an attitude,” Dom replied, eyes fixed on Frog, as he reached out to give him a rather awkward pat on the head. Okay, Dom was definitely acting really strangely tonight, even his usual ribbing of me and my soft spot for Frog felt a little off.  
  
“Dom, are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, ‘course I am,” he nodded, reaching over for the remote on the coffee table, which I’d nearly brained myself on many months ago. It was crazy to think how much had changed and what we’d been through since then… “Why you ask?”  
  
“You’re just acting a little… off,” I replied, eyes taking in the way his own kept glancing between mine and Frog, as if to prove my point.  
  
“I don’t know what you mean,” he tried to brush it off with an awkward chuckle, grey eyes meeting my own, before quickly turning toward the telly. “What do you wanna watch?”  
  
It wasn’t exactly the smoothest of topic changes, but I decided to just give in with a sigh and shrugged. “I’m not fussed.”  
  
“ _First Dates_ it is!”  
  
“Of course…”  
  
“Hush, I know you love it too. Promise we can also watch _Tattoo Fixers_ after.”  
  
“You just wanna ogle Sketch, I’m on to you, Howard,” I protested, unable to hold back a grin at the return of a more normal Dom, as I absentmindedly started scratching Frog behind the ear, the little guy having settled down on my lap, despite earlier protests.  
  
“Please, like I won’t catch you perving over Jay in return,” Dom shot back, ever so primly.  
  
“As if, he reminds me too much of Chris, besides, I’m not really into ‘bears’,” I scoffed, though to be honest neither Sketch nor Jay, two of the tattooists on the show, were too hard on the eye, given the chance.  
  
“Oh really?” Dom asked, raising his eyebrows, clearly not buying my argument.  
  
“Yeah, I prefer twinks, it's why I’m with you,” I couldn’t resist saying with an added wink for extra effect, just as my hand knocked against something metallic on Frog’s collar (a recent addition I’d bought him on the same day as Dom’s fateful discovery of that cinnamon shampoo he likes so much), that definitely wasn’t his tag.  
  
“OI! I’m so not a twink!” he objected, voice full of exaggerated offense. “If either of us is a twink, it’s you.”  
  
I just laughed back distractedly, as I looked down, turning the collar so that the buckle part with its tag and whatever I’d felt would be at the top of his neck where I could see what it was, Frog not even budging. When I had twisted it to the top and saw what exactly it was I’d felt, however, I couldn’t quite believe it. It couldn’t be, surely not?  
  
When I looked back at Dom however, it was to find him having gone completely quiet, his eyes fixed on the object I had held between my thumb and forefinger and the collar it was on, his eyes wide.  
  
“Dom… why’s there a ring on Frog’s collar?”  
  
                                                                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Matt’s words, his voice confused but face completely unreadable, seemed to snap me out of my sudden state of nerves and into action, heart thudding so rapidly and loudly, I swore I could hear it in my ears, as I immediately hopped off the couch and dropped down on one knee.  
  
Matthew’s blue eyes widened impossibly even more, his mouth moving to say something, but nothing came out. Aside from the obvious shock, I couldn’t really tell what else he was experiencing, whether he was happy or not. My God, I hoped he was. I was really taking a gamble here.  
  
There was no more time for awkwardly fumbling through this though, in case I lost my nerve and ruined this. I needed to get it all off my chest and tell him exactly how I felt about him and, well, convince him, get him to realise that this was the next step and not something silly and unnecessary, but something I really wanted with him and that I’d always be there for him, no matter what. That I loved him, more and more each day, not despite what had happened to him and what we’d had to go through together – even when he’d been an absolute arsehole to me before anything had even happened – but because of it. Because of how much we’d grown through it all and how far we’d come. Because I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone else as much or had ever loved someone–  
  
“M-ma-marry me?” Or maybe I’d worked myself up too much over the course of the evening and would end up just blurting out the obvious in an awkward and inelegant stutter. Honestly, I could slap myself in the face.  
  
“Seriously?” Matt asked, head flinching back, while his eyebrows furrowed. It wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d been hoping for, though I’d be lying if I said some part of me hadn’t suspected it could always be a possibility.  
  
“Um, well, er, yes?” I said, feeling the way I deflated, the whole big speech I’d prepared for him having died on my tongue, as my eyes dropped from his face, unable to look at him anymore. Oh God, I’d just made an absolute tit of myself and put Matt in an incredibly awkward situation too. Maybe it was all too soon… Perhaps if I’d just waited a little longer… What if he never wanted–  
  
“Shit, Dom, I wanted to be the one to ask! I was literally just looking at rings on my way home earlier.”  
  
“Wait. What?” My head instantly snapped up to look up at him in shock, not quite believe my ears.  
  
“I was gonna ask you, I was just trying to work up the courage… Seems you beat me there though. You always seem to know before I do,” he offered me a bashful smile, cheeks tinted lightly.  
  
“S-so, er, will you then, marry me, I mean?” I asked, biting my lip anxiously, heart thumping away in my chest.  
  
“’Course, Dom. I’d be an idiot to say no,” he said shaking his head, long fingers still toying with the ring I’d slipped onto Frog’s collar earlier on.  
  
I reached over, my fingers trembling, but thankfully, for once Matt didn’t say a word, as I undid Frog’s collar and slipped the ring off, before doing the collar up again and turning my attention back to Matt. I then awkwardly gestured for him to give me his left hand.  
  
With a chuckle and shake of his head, Matt gave me his hand and I slid the loop of white gold onto his slim ring finger, where it fit perfectly. The pair of us then remained quiet, no doubt both still in a state of disbelief, as we both stared down at the slender band, elegantly carved and set with an angularly cut diamond in the centre. The moment I had laid eyes on the ring, I’d known I’d just had to get it for him. My discovery of it this morning, while Matt was at physical therapy, definitely to blame for prompting me into near immediate action. Well, that and the fact I was scared I’d chicken out.  
  
“It’s beautiful, Dom. Fuck, it must have cost you an arm and a leg,” he eventually said, wiggling his finger so that the diamond caught the light and sparkled away. The ring definitely suited him, all slender and refined, much like how I saw him.  
  
“Pssht, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you like it, not to mention over the moon that you said yes. Fuck, I’ve been shitting myself all day over here!”  
  
“It’s funny, I never imagined myself wearing another man’s ring…”  
  
“Yeah? But I thought you said you were planning on asking me?” I asked, confused, as I watched him continue to stare at his hand in, well, wonder.  
  
“Well, yeah, but _you_ would have been wearing _my_ ring then… Fuck, I can just see my father’s face now,” he laughed shaking his head.  
  
“I think my dad would have had a coronary,” I laughed, picturing his face.  
  
“Hmm… maybe I should still get you a ring after all then,” he teased, laughing with me.  
  
“Nuh-ah, he’ll have to wait for the wedding, give him some time to prepare himself. After all, I’m the one that proposed first, you’re the one who wears the ring.”  
  
Matt scrunched his nose up a little and sniffed.  
  
“Oh my God, you’re embarrassed about being the one wearing a ring, aren’t you?” I asked, not even hurt, it was just too amusing and so _Matt_.  
  
“No, of course not,” he protested, but his rapidly pinkening cheeks said otherwise.  
  
“Nah-uh, you so are. Oh my God, Matt,” I laughed. “Look, if it’s such a big deal, I’ll wear it, honestly, I don’t mind.”  
  
“What, no, you gave it to me. It’s mine, you can’t just take it back now,” he huffed.  
  
“Good,” I grinned smugly. “’Cause I picked it out just for you. It wouldn’t look nearly as good on me.” When I then leaned forward to smack a loud kiss to his cheek, he weakly swatted at me.  
  
“Honestly, Dom,” he rolled his eyes. “Also, can we please discuss the way you proposed even? You put my ring on our cat’s collar, for fuck’s sake.”  
  
“Oh c’mon, you love it, admit it.”  
  
“What if I hadn’t found it?”  
  
“You would have, eventually. You and Frog are too close for you not to have eventually found it,” I pointed out casually, giving my furry little accomplice an ear scratch, prompting Frog’s head to pop up, so he could rub back against me.  
  
“I can’t believe I got proposed to with a cat.”  
  
“I can’t believe I proposed,” I shook my head in wonder, everything still not quite having sunken in yet, as I watched Matt scratch the black fur of Frog’s back, the engagement ring glinting away.  
  
“I can’t believe I said yes,” Matt teased, typically steering things away from anything too serious.  
  
“Well, you know what, I actually can. It’s ‘cause you _luuurve_ me,” I shot right back, jutting my chin out smugly.  
  
“You’re right, I do,” Matt agreed, offering me a smile, before then promptly ruining the sweet moment before it could even begin. “For the record, though, I book being the one to do the bridal lift – also, you’re wearing the dress. After all, how can I forget how dashing you looked in that corset? You know, I’m sure I still have it around somewhere...”  
  
“Oh my God! Matt, do you want my father to die?! We’re wearing suits and please, for the love of God, never mention that to him – or anyone in my family for that matter,” I groaned, but he just laughed, so much so that a startled Frog hopped off his lap, shooting us both a look of great annoyance, before primly trotting off with a tail swish.  
  
“He’s going through his angsty teenage phase,” Matt stage whispered.  
  
“Sigh,” I shook my head, “They grow up so fast.”  
  
When our resulting laughter eventually died down, Matt reached over to hold my hand and give it a squeeze. “Fiancés, eh?”  
  
“Yup,” I nodded, no doubt grinning away like a moron.  
  
“Love you,” he smiled, before leaning over to kiss me.  
  
“Love you, too.”  
  
We ended up spending the rest of the night snuggled up on the couch, lazily snogging and watching shitty telly. It was definitely up there as one of the best nights of my life.


End file.
